The wind blew the snowflakes swirling in the humid air, and the whole world made people feel very cold, but even colder than this world was Qiu Zi'an, who was standing in front of me, he looked at me expressionlessly, and then asked, "Are you waiting for Chen Yi?"

"Yes, she worked overtime today."

Qiu Zi'an smiled and replied, "She won't come back today, and she's not on the TV station now." ”

My heart was a little tight, and I frowned and asked Qiu Zi'an, "What do you mean by talking to me about this?"

"I just want to tell you that there are many things that Chen Yi won't tell you directly, because it won't help you to tell you."

I looked at him and waited for him to continue.

Qiu Zi'an lowered his head and lit a cigarette, and said: "Chen Yi's cousin is also a media company, you should know."

"You mean Chen Wen"

Qiu Zi'an nodded and replied: "Chen Wen has lost money on several big projects this year, several investors have withdrawn, and another worker fell to his death while making outdoor billboards a week ago. Chen Wen is anxious now, the company is on the verge of bankruptcy, and his wife is also divorcing him, so Chen Yi has been running around for Chen Wen's affairs recently, hehe, aren't you Chen Yi's boyfriend, what's the matter, she won't even tell you this?"

My heart is trembling

Qiu Zi'an shrugged his shoulders and said: "I think, the reason why she didn't tell you this is because you can't help at all, she is taking care of your self-esteem and face, but don't you think that a man needs his own woman to maintain that poor self-esteem everywhere, but it is an extremely cowardly performance?"

My heart was burning with fire, but I couldn't argue that if I were a hibernating snake, my seven inches would have been pinched by the hunters, and I would have to suffocate to death.

"Jiang Qiao, what is the greatest meaning of our men's existence in the relationship with women, let me tell you: we can protect them with our own bodies and solve all the troubles for them, because in women's nature there will be many places that are more vulnerable than men, if a man can't even give the most basic support to a woman, then he is worthless to this woman Whether you admit it or not, the fact is like this, by the way, tomorrow I will personally come forward to help Chen Wen solve all the troubles in front of him, I'm going to invest 10 million in his media company, and I think this is what I have to do for Chen Yi as Chen Yi's ex-boyfriend. ”

After a pause, he said again: "I'm glad that I have the ability to do this, and I'm glad that when I graduated from college, I chose to start my own business." But this is exactly what Chen Yi hates about me the most, but I believe that after experiencing this incident, she will understand my choice back then, and I just hope to use material things in this world to find more security for her and me, and I am not wrong."

I gasped, listening to these words that cut my heart like a knife in my heart, Qiu Zi'an looked at me with a cold look, he didn't need to say anything more, and he couldn't say any more, because I didn't dare to guarantee that my emotions would not get out of control in the next moment, and then beat him to death in this alley

However, why should I kill him, the anger in my heart alone is useless, it can only prove my incompetence to the point of proving myself extremely incompetent in such a barbaric way

Qiu Zi'an finally turned around and walked outside the alley, and his purpose had been achieved, I was like a mourning dog standing in this snowy night, and I didn't dare to look forward to Chen Yi's return

Back at my lodgings, I stood at the table, where my freshly prepared dinner was still steaming

I finally dialed Chen Yi's phone after smoking a cigarette, and after dialing twice in a row, Chen Yi answered, and I asked her in a low voice, "Are you still on the TV station?"

"Well, I may not go back until late today, and a colleague will invite me to dinner in the evening."

"You said you were going to eat Coke chicken wings in the morning, and I've already made them."

"My colleague also invited me to dinner temporarily, and I couldn't refuse."

I smiled and replied, "It's okay, then I'll come back and eat it for supper." ”

"Well, then I'll hang up the phone first."

"Wait"

"What's wrong?"

This time, I was silent for a long, long time before I asked Chen Yi, "Do you have anything else to tell me?"

Chen Yi on the other end of the phone was also silent for a while before he asked rhetorically: "Why did you ask me in such a serious tone?"

"I'm asking if you have anything else to tell me."

"Nope."

"Well, then you can get busy first."

Chen Yi didn't say anything more, she hung up the phone after she said "goodbye", and I listened to the "beep" hang-up tone, my heart was like a barbecue in the fire, I couldn't breathe in pain, and the uncontrollable inferiority complex was like a mountain smashing on my humble body, making me crushed.

My emotions finally spiraled out of control, and I raised my hand and slammed over the table next to me, the crimson chicken wings tumbling on the floor, the steaming porridge scattered everywhere, and the walls and floors all over the floor

I broke down in pain, whimpering and slamming my fist on the coldest wall in the room, the pain in my heart finally relieved the pain in my heart, and the blood that I couldn't feel the temperature just dripped down my fingers to the ground

My mental defenses all crumbled, and I sat in the corner like a dead man, looking at the mess in front of me.

Why, I would live such a wretched life, why I didn't have a complete family, why my world was like a black hole that never saw the light, hanging me over and over again

As everything calmed down, I finally closed my tired eyes and let the helpless tears drip from my dry face

I left my lodging and walked out of the alley through the thick snow, and then found a bar in another alley, and I took out the only 300 yuan from my wallet and slapped it on the table, and I drank as much alcohol as I could, and the only thing that saved me at the moment was alcohol

I drank in pain, I didn't want to see anything, I didn't want to listen to anything, I just wanted to get drunk, so drunk that I forgot about this snowy night.

I don't know how many bottles of wine after the stomach, a familiar figure appeared in front of me, she was carrying the piano box I had seen this afternoon, she was Xiao Ai, Xiao Ai who went to eat hot pot alone not long ago, and the scene presented in front of me at this moment I seem to be familiar, it seems that there is such a night in Yangzhou, but the person who drank that day was Xiao Ai

She only knew that I was in the mood to drink, but she couldn't see my sadness, so she smiled and said to me: "I just wanted to find a bar to have some drinks, but I didn't expect to meet you again, we seem to meet easily in a bar."

I looked at her, opened another bottle of wine, and drank the liquid in a few sips. At the moment, I don't want to talk, I just want to drink, drink until I can't recognize the true face of this world.

Xiao Ai didn't speak again, and then sat down at the next table and asked for a small amount of wine.

My legs began to go limp, and I knew I was on the right foot, and I stumbled out of the bar

I didn't realize whether Xiao Ai, who was still there not long ago, went or stayed, so I stepped on the snow on the ground and walked towards the alley where I lived, and there was no pain when I fell to the ground. So, I believe the drink was so good that it killed almost every cell in my body that was causing me pain

My legs were getting weaker and weaker, and I instinctively searched for something to hold onto. I don't know where I went, but I finally felt something supporting me, but I couldn't see clearly, but I only faintly sensed that she was leading me forward into the alley with the "mood coffee", not far from my home

The neon lights turned into circles of light and jumped in front of me, and I couldn't see everything in front of me, but I knew that the "mood coffee shop" next to me was the only one in the entire alley with neon signs embedded in it.

I stopped, and in those confusing apertures, I remembered the late night when I confessed to Chen Yi, and it was also here, and I was in a similar mood, everything was like a reenactment of the past.

I seemed to see a picture again: a man in a messy room smoked at the sunflowers, and then began to get angry, angrily smashed everything in the room, then rolled on the ground in pain, and finally sat on the ground, looking at the broken sunflowers on the wall, crying

It was me, and it didn't seem like it was me, I was suffocating more and more, I was being held up by the sunflowers that were growing rapidly, and the feeling of weightlessness at any moment made me panic, and the person I loved the most was looking at me with the same painful eyes, and I desperately tried to hold her

I'm whispering: "Don't leave me, don't leave me, I don't want to be so incompetent, there are many, many things I want to do for you, you have to believe in me, I believe in me"

Everything repeated itself in my weak consciousness, my hand uneasily reached into her clothes, the warmth of contact with skin made me extremely greedy, I drew closer to her, my mouth came with a psychedelic sweet taste, and I demanded more excessively

I unbuttoned my clothes more

The snow was blowing and the night was falling, but the huge sunflower was growing rapidly in my fugue consciousness, and it supported me to see more scenery, and in this changing scenery, a woman ran throughout. She tied her ponytail and embraced the guitar and strummed the strings to a strong rhythm; She sat on the weedy courtyard wall, raising her beer and toasting at dusk; As soon as she shook her hand, a piece of rubble seemed to start a journey full of jumps on the smooth river; She was crying, and the whole world was raining; She laughed, and the sunlight turned into sunflower seeds and scattered all over the ground

Who is she, and when did she call for wind and rain in the most secret place of my heart?

In a reflection of not distinguishing between right and wrong, I gradually saw the pale blue piano box that fell to the ground, like a storm that lifted the most shy skirt in the depths of my heart