Over the years, most of the news about Xiao Ai will break my heart, this time it is the most ruthless, I hate myself for being incompetent, and I hate that I will be heartbroken because of her. I opened another bottle of beer and drank it in one gulp, but my body felt hollowed out...... The lights that floated in front of my eyes became even more unreal, and I was just a stream of air shuttling through them, which was insignificant to the world, but painful to myself......

And Chen Yi beside me didn't speak anymore, she who has never been a big drinker, she also opened a bottle of beer and drank it, as if Yang Qu's words just now also touched her heart. For us, the life we have gone through before is like a dream. When I woke up, it was raining heavily outside the window......

I finally opened my mouth and asked Chen Yi, "Did Qiu Zi'an tell you all personally?" ”

"Yes...... If you don't trust him, you can not believe these words, but it is difficult for you to verify anything, because there are only a few people who know that Yuan Zhen left the truth back then, and you can't touch anyone else, and even if you can get in touch, they won't talk to you about it. ”

"So, I can only choose to believe it?!"

Chen Yi shifted her gaze to me, she stared at the plane tree downstairs for a long time before saying to me: "That depends on your heart, if you think you have to be her, even if you are married, it is not an unforgivable mistake." On the contrary, I don't need to say more, you should also understand how to choose. ”

I fell into silence again, but Yang Qu had no interest in staying, she patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'll go back to the hotel to rest first, remember that it's a plane to Shenzhen at 12 noon tomorrow, and at 10 o'clock, you will meet us at the Tulip Hotel, don't be late, because there are only people waiting for the plane, and there is no plane waiting for anyone." ”

I was heartbroken, and then I looked at her and nodded.

After Yang Qu left, only Chen Yi and I were left, and I suddenly didn't want to go anywhere, I just wanted to sit in this dim yellow light and drink the two dozen beers I ordered.

A moment later, there was a faint sound of thunder on the other side of the city, and the wind was blowing in gusts, as if it was about to rain. This is really in line with the temperament of summer, thunderstorms come as soon as they are said, and they don't give people time to prepare at all......

I said to myself, "Go down, go down if you want...... By the way, wash my heart too, wash it into a blank piece of paper, wash it into an idiot, and then look at the world again, twice, three times......"

My incoherent appearance made Chen Yi feel sad, she lowered her voice and said to me: "Jiangqiao, it's going to rain, go back quickly, rest early, you have to go to Shenzhen tomorrow!" ”

I looked at her, then took my phone out of my pocket, held it up in front of her eyes, and said with depression, "Do you know what I want to do most right now?" ”

"Who are you calling?"

I slammed my phone on the iron tabletop, and the screen shattered, and then with a hint of venting pleasure, I said to Chen Yi: "I just want to throw this thing away, and then lock myself in the house, and start in ten days." I don't want to go to Shenzhen, I don't want to deal with those endless affairs, I don't want to see life and death, I just want to treat myself as a prisoner for a while, and I don't do anything except eat, drink and Lazar every day, I'm really tired, tired like a dog...... The heart is tired, and the body is tired! ”

Chen Yi sighed, she said: "Is there such a person in this world who knows that Jiang Qiao with money is more unhappy than Jiang Qiao without money?" …… Or is it that it doesn't matter to you whether you have money or not, all you want is the feeling of being with her at the beginning, but you gradually find that she can't give you those things now, so you are becoming more and more desperate and unhappy? ”

"I don't know, I don't know anything...... My head seems to be stuffed with paste. ”

This time, Chen Yi looked at me for a long time before he said to me again: "If the world can change at will in your brain, what picture do you want to appear the most?" You will always have this expectation, and when that picture appears, you will eliminate all distractions and pursue it...... That way, you'll always be happy. ”

My mind finally calmed down, and then some images really appeared in my head, and she was in them throughout...... We walked hand in hand in the sunset at dusk, she sat by the fountain and sang for me, we traveled to cities outside of Nanjing together, and even picked up some discounted food in the supermarket...... She really filled my past and future so much that I didn't know how to forget her, she gave me so much, too much hope...... The most uncomfortable thing is this feeling of only half of the realization and then abruptly stopped, it will attack like a drug addiction, and it will not be able to quit.

Yes, the pain was extreme, and I finally found a way to describe how I felt, and I was poisoned by something I couldn't ask for. This is a poison of the highest order, and there is no cure for it. And the deeper the injury, the more unwilling it becomes......

Therefore, many authoritative experts who understand feelings have said that in a relationship, the person who walks later is always the most painful, and the dull me, in the two years after she left, will still think of the tulip road we met, and think of her brisk back when she walked on this road.

That night, I didn't give myself any answers, but I drank a little too much, and finally Chen Yi sent me back to my accommodation. I fell asleep moments after she left, and continued to fall asleep until the next morning......

……

After getting up and washing, I didn't want to have breakfast at all, so I just sat on the balcony and watched the pedestrians and vehicles coming and going on the tulip road, and the time just passed......

It wasn't until there was a cat meow downstairs that I woke up suddenly, and then looked at the time, it was already nine o'clock in the morning, and I only had one hour left, and it was time to go to Shenzhen with Jin Qiu, Yang Qu, and Yang Jin.

I snuffed out the cigarette in my hand and went to my room to pack some change of clothes. I thought, I'm going to miss my appointment once, and I can't accompany her to school to see Xiaofang again, just like she couldn't accompany me for the rest of my life two years ago.

After a rainstorm, the damp smell in the air was quickly evaporated by the morning sun, so that the whole city seemed to be washed with a potion, and there was an indescribable smell.

Before going out of the house, I took out my mobile phone and hesitated for a long time, and finally sent a short message to Xiao Ai, I said: "I'm sorry, I'm going to visit relatives in Shenzhen with my family today, and I can't accompany you to see Xiaofang, please understand." ”

After sending this message, I found myself inexplicably uncomfortable, even though I knew I had to make this choice.

As I walked out of the neighborhood, I looked back......

The tall buildings in front of me make me not quite remember the atmosphere of the old alley, but they do exist on the same land. What about Jiangqiao, what is the difference between the present and the past?

I looked at the elementary school where Xiaofang attended, and I knew that Xiao Ai might go to see her in the afternoon. At that time, will Xiao Ai feel lonely? Will you long for a me by your side to accompany her to give Xiaofang a warm afternoon?

With a soft sigh, I gave up everything and dragged my suitcase towards the Tulip Hotel.

……

By the time I arrived, Jin Qiu had already driven the Mercedes-Benz 7 people she bought last time and came to the hotel in a PV. This car really came in handy, because with Yang Jin's assistant Xiao Li, there were a total of five people who went to Shenzhen this time, no matter how good the five-person car was, it would not be comfortable to sit in, but the seven-seater was different.

I put my luggage in the car, then looked into the hotel, and asked Jin Qiu beside me, "What about my mother and Yang Qu?" ”

"Yang Qu hasn't gotten up yet, Auntie is in a meeting with the hotel's top management, she should be coming down soon." She looked at me as she spoke, and then asked, "You don't look good, you drank last night?" ”

"Well, drink some."

After a short silence, I suddenly remembered that I only cared about looking for Chen Yi yesterday, and I didn't prepare gifts for my relatives over there. Although they haven't met yet, they have already given me a very shelf-oriented and very critical feeling, this kind of neglect without gifts will undoubtedly make them look down on me as a person, feel that I am uneducated, I don't want Yang Jin to feel faceless, especially after knowing that Xiao Ai's departure had nothing to do with her, I don't want to deal with the mother-son relationship between us with opposing emotions. However, it must be too late to buy it now.

Jin Qiu seemed to see through my thoughts, she looked into the trunk and said to me, "After leaving the hotel last night, I asked Yang Qu to send me a list of gifts, and then went to buy everything I wanted to buy...... Are you worried about this? ”

I nodded and replied, "Well, I forgot it yesterday, and if you do it, I'll be relieved." ”

I said and glanced absentmindedly into the hotel, I knew...... This trip to Shenzhen, if it is implemented, many things will also be implemented, such as my marriage with Jin Qiu.

Jin Qiu said to me again: "You haven't forgotten, it's that you haven't taken this matter to heart at all...... We all know you don't want to go to Shenzhen at all. You're carrying a heavy burden on your mind, and I hope you didn't go out drinking yesterday for that. ”

"No, not for this matter...... I also want to open it, Shenzhen is going to go sooner or later, there is no need to make everyone unhappy. ”

Jin Qiu asked lightly, "Really?" ”

"Hmm."

At this time, Yang Qu also walked out of the hotel with a sleepy-eyed look, she complained to me and Jin Qiu, saying that she regretted not buying a ticket at 3 o'clock, so that she could sleep a little longer, and complained that their school was inhumane, and she had to get up at five o'clock every day to practice all kinds of physical exercises, so it would cause her to sleep lazily every holiday.

I think she can combine every second and sleep in, and she is probably also a natural optimist.

At this time, I received a reply from Xiao Ai, and it was still a voice message, her tone was happy for me, she said: "You recognize relatives is a big thing, I just need to go to see Xiaofang myself in the afternoon...... To be honest, it's really nice to see more and more people around you. Come on life, Jiangqiao...... Let yourself be a role model. ”

I didn't reply to the message, and I didn't want to be in any more mood. At this moment, I was completely ready to go to Shenzhen.

……

At 11 o'clock, we arrived at Lukou Airport in Nanjing, and then Yang Jin's assistant went to get the boarding pass. The whole time, I didn't speak, I was like a lifeless being, and I don't know how long it would take to get back to normal.

Inadvertently, I glanced at Yang Qu sitting next to me, she seemed to have a heavier mind than me, her sudden change made me a little confused, but I didn't delve into it, because I was used to her neurotic performance.

Seeing that the time for boarding was getting closer and closer, Yang Jin motioned for us to go through the security check, just when I was about to check the ticket, Yang Qu suddenly squatted on the ground with a pale face, and then covered her stomach, she said to Yang Jin: "Mom, I have very bad menstrual pain, you go to Shenzhen first, I'll go to the plane at night to ......" and then said to me: "Brother, can you stay with me, take me to a nearby hospital to see...... I'm dying of pain! ”

I was stunned for a moment, but Yang Jin said to Jin Qiu: "Why don't you stay and take care of her, Jiang Qiao and I will go with this shift first." ”

Jin Qiu looked at me, and then replied: "Let's let Jiang Qiao stay, he is much better at taking care of people than me, and I also have a little project I want to talk to you about." ”

Yang Jin hesitated, but she didn't refute Jin Qiu's face, she told me and Yang Qu a few words, and then left with Jin Qiu and her assistant, and I was inexplicably left in Nanjing.