Chapter 76: Love to Die and Come to Life
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After Chen Yi's cousin left first, her family and relatives walked out of the hotel one after another, my spirit was highly concentrated, and I kept looking in the direction of the exit, but I didn't find Chen Yi until the last person came out, let alone Qiu Zi'an, I was a little dazed for a moment, and then countless possibilities flashed in my brain, is it that Chen Yi has been created by her family to be alone with Qiu Zi'an
My face became more and more ugly, and Xiao Ai next to me looked at the cars leaving one after another with some curiosity and said to me: "Why are they all Audis?"
"Chen Yi's uncle is an Audi dealer in the local area."
"Oh, why didn't you see Chen Yi, and that Qiu Zi'an"
I didn't answer, but I thought of Chen Yi's relatives in my mind, some of them are indeed willing to treat me Jiangqiao as a friend or junior, but more than that, I can hear the contempt and even abuse in their words, although I have never expected everyone to look at the relationship between people with an equal mentality, but some words will still hurt people after all, so many times I have a rejection of Chen Yi's relatives.
I finally took out my phone from my pocket and dialed Chen Yi's number, I wanted to know where she was now and what she was doing
The reply on the other end of the phone made my mood fall to the bottom again, Chen Yi had turned off the phone at this time, so her whereabouts became a lingering suspicion in my heart, for the first time in my life, there was a kind of suffocation like fighting in the quagmire, it turns out that love can send people to the peak of the best scenery, but also suffocate people in the filthy quagmire, and this is the most terrible place of love.
At this moment, I felt more clearly how deeply I loved Chen Yi, otherwise why would I be so painful
I had no experience in a relationship, so I was so immersed in this extreme pain that I couldn't get out, my face became more and more ugly, and I didn't know what to do with what was going on with me.
Xiao Ai, who was beside me, carefully pushed me with his fingers and asked, "Are you okay, Jiang Qiao"
"Give me a cigarette."
Xiao Ai took out the box of Nanjing cigarettes from his bag, and then took out one from it and gave it to me, but refused to give me the cigarette box with him.
I put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it, and when my emotions gradually calmed down, I finally said to Xiao Ai beside me: "I'll go back first, you can go back and rest early." ”
"I'll send you back."
"Don't bother, it's too far back and forth." I opened the door and walked to the nearest taxi, and without looking back at what might exist, maybe there was no reality or falsehood, the next moment I threw my empty body into the profit-seeking taxi, and left the hotel that had given me so many emotions.
This night was destined to be difficult, I had been waiting for Chen Yihui to give me a call in a sleepless state, but she didn't, and I couldn't convince myself to call her again, just waited passively
I put on a coat and sat in the deserted courtyard, there was no smoke, no pot of hot tea, only the flowers and plants around me were swaying in the wind, they seemed to whisper to me to look at them one by one, and finally felt the value of the flowers and plants I planted, they were there to keep me from being too lonely at this time.
My mood gradually relaxed, and finally leaned back on the recliner and fell asleep, and when I woke up from the cold at night, I immediately picked up my mobile phone from hand and looked at it, but there was still no information about Chen Yi, and even the WeChat circle of friends that she would update every day did not post.
Disappointed and frustrated, I finally felt my brain pound, followed by a stabbing pain in my throat, and I realized that I was suffering from the wind chill and that it had been a terrible night.
Back at home, I drank a glass of boiled water, took a little fever-reducing medicine, and didn't fall asleep again until it was almost morning.
But even in my sleep, I couldn't get rid of the suffocation brought to me by love, I had many nightmares about the loss of Chen Yi, and every time I lost it, the reason was so sufficient, so enough that I couldn't be cheeky to keep her, so when I woke up, my forehead oozed dense sweat, and these sweats were completely due to the powerlessness and panic in my heart.
I sat up from the bed, wiped the sweat from my forehead with my hands, lit a cigarette for myself, and gradually realized what it was like to be in love with the smell of tobacco, and I had fallen into it
Suddenly, the door of my room was pushed open, and Xiao Ai, a girl, appeared in front of me with a thermos box, I was startled at first, and then I remembered that she had the key to my house.
She opened the window and complained: "Yesterday I worked hard with beer, and today I fought hard with cigarettes, what did Chen Yi do to you?"
"If you ask me again, I'll fight with you"
"I'm kind enough to bring you breakfast, do you need to do this to me?"
I put out the cigarette in my hand in the ashtray, and finally said to her with the emotions that had been accumulated all night: "I feel like I have died several times this night, have you ever experienced this feeling?"
Xiao Ai put the thermos box in his hand on the cabinet at the head of my bed, and replied: "I have never been in love, how can I understand your feeling of loving to death." ”
I looked at Xiao Ai, I didn't expect that she hadn't been in love yet, so it was not unusual for her to not be able to empathize, I lay back on the bed and wrapped myself in the quilt, and then stared at the empty roof in a daze, and the mood still did not recover from the swamp of love.
Xiao Ai stood beside me a little bored, then pointed to the bright sunlight outside the window and said to me: "Aren't you going to go out for a walk in such a good weather?"
"Recuperate."
"You're not afraid of getting sick yourself"
"I'm getting sick"
Xiao Ai took another step in front of me and said to me, "Since this city makes you so unhappy, then leave this city."
I sat up from the bed again, remembering that I had indeed not left the city for too long, too long, my emotions and the pursuit of freedom were pressed by the steel and concrete of the city, and I even suspected that my depression during this period was caused by not going out for too long, I should go to see the outside world, even if it is not far, at least leave Nanjing, and then see where happiness is.
I finally looked at her and said, "If I leave Nanjing, will Chen Yi look for me everywhere?"
"If you try it, you will know, if you love someone, she will be worried without your news."
I'm a little moved, I hope Chen Yi can care about me, just like I care about her, I once watched a movie called Love to the End, the male protagonist couldn't find a sense of existence in the heroine's world, so he chose to run away from home, and the result of this exodus is that the two of them have resolved the long-standing misunderstanding and continued the seven-year itch marriage, maybe I can really give it a try.
I said to Xiao Ai with some inexplicable expectations: "I don't have much experience in love, don't fool me, does this work?"
"If you are afraid, just nest in this little broken house and be miserable, no one will sympathize with you."
I didn't speak, still thinking about whether or not to leave for a while
"On a whim, it's not too late, it's not too early, as long as you're willing to push open a door, the whole world is yours"
I look at her, she seems to have restless genes in her body, so she always has out of the ordinary but can make people feel impulsive thoughts in life, in front of her, I always feel that I have lived so timidly, so I miss too much beauty in this world
I finally said to her, "Let's go out for a walk." ”
Xiao Ai suddenly said to me with a cold face: "Jiang Qiao, I heard the waiter of the mood coffee shop say in the morning, you have taken over the coffee shop, but yesterday you asked me to invite you to drink, what do you think I am stupid and have a lot of money?"
"I didn't let you ask for it, it's the story that you have to exchange beer for me, I don't want to accept it, it's not that I'm stupid"
Xiao Ai said to me with a rare seriousness: "How do you understand, I hope you can be honest with me, I don't like the feeling that you are cheating me, although the matter is very small." ”
I didn't say anything, just picked up my coat from the chair next to the bed, put on my pants, and soon stood in front of Xiao Ai neatly dressed, and then looked at her, and the sun outside the window just right, illuminated the windowsill, illuminated the dust in the room, and the wind blew some fresh morning air
Perhaps, it really wasn't a bad morning, and I should have the courage to go to the world outside of Nanjing, and hopefully Chen Yi would come to me and know how much I had been tortured that night because I couldn't reach her
After breakfast, Xiao Ai and I stood on Tulip Road outside the alley, Xiao Ai handed me the car keys again, and said: "Go to Yangzhou, I have a friend who has opened a coffee shop on Dongguan Street over there, the business is very good, you can go to study and study by the way, I will send you his contact information when you go back, and you will call him when you arrive at Dongguan Street." ”
"Hmm." I answered, and then after a moment of silence, I said to her: "Your father is about to marry Li Zishan, and this city doesn't make you happy, aren't you going to go out for a walk?"
"Let's go, I'm going to Dali to see Erhai Lake, the ticket for the afternoon."
In her decision, I felt the impermanence of the world, originally I was going to accompany her to the surrounding cities on the day of her father and Li Zishan's wedding, but unexpectedly, she suddenly decided to go to Dali, and I will go to the surrounding Yangzhou alone.
It's okay in this way, we will play our own games, and we won't feel sorry for Chen Yi, but I still feel a little uneasy in my heart, and I asked her again: "Did you really book a ticket to Dali?"
Xiao Ai took out a ticket from his backpack, I looked at it, and sure enough, it was from Nanjing Lukou Airport to Dali, when he let go of the doubts in his heart, he immediately opened the trunk of the car and threw his simple luggage into it.
In the sun, I felt like I had seen the city as it was, and it was time for me to go outside and take advantage of the weather
"Jiangqiao, I hope you have a good trip, and I also hope that Chen Yi will go to Yangzhou to find you."
I stopped, and then I suddenly realized that there were so many purposes for going to Yangzhou, just like Xiao Ai said, what I hope most is that Chen Yi can come to me, we can meet in Dongguan Street, and then have a cup of coffee, and then lightly forget about the unpleasant things before.
Although our love has only just begun, I already have the feeling of dying and living, otherwise where would I have the courage to find a little presence in her in such an almost adventurous way