In the blink of an eye, it's time for the start of the new year.

Less than two days after the start of school, Niu Tiangou walked into the campus and saw a message written on the big blackboard with "notice" often written on the propaganda board:

Mr. Hu's grandson is celebrating his first birthday, and the wedding banquet is scheduled for the 11th of this month (the day after tomorrow, Saturday) at the Newman Hotel (lunch box lunch at noon). If you are interested, please contact ××× and ×××.

When I arrived at the office, there was already a cigarette and a small bag of candy on the table. Needless to say, this was sent by Mr. Hu's entrusted contact.

Niu Tiangou picked up the cigarette on the table and put it in his mouth, and at the same time came to the next office with the teachers in the office, found the contact person, and handed over the "wedding banquet money".

……

At noon on the 11th, Niu Tiangou came to the banquet hall of Newman Hotel, and saw that the hall was full of people, several tables of people were smearing playing cards with relish, and more than a dozen tables of people were rubbing mahjong loudly.

After eating the box lunch, Niu Tiangou returned to his home in the vegetable market, he did not like to play mahjong, instead of waiting for the dinner, it was better to go home and read a book or TV.

After reading the book for more than two hours and watching TV for a while, it was not until about 4 o'clock in the afternoon that Niu Tiangou received a call from the contact person (Niu Tiangou's home phone has been paid and activated), and then came to the Newman Hotel again.

In the banquet hall, the teachers who played mahjong were still "fighting" with great interest, like addicts taking drugs. The teachers and guests who came one after another had nothing to rely on, so they could only sit on the stools in twos and threes, or gather around the card table and mahjong table to watch.

Niu Tiangou was also bored, sitting here, looking there, patiently waiting for the feast.

It wasn't until half past six o'clock, with the crackling of firecrackers outside the hotel, that the dinner officially began.

The dinner was also pompous, and the hall was crowded, with 20 tables set up and 4 tables in the small private room. It was the first time Niu Tiangou had seen such a big scene.

As the first course was served, people's mouths were focused on drinking and eating, and the chaotic voices stopped and were replaced by the sounds of persuading to drink, inviting to eat, and chewing......

It wasn't until it was completely dark that Niu Tiangou returned home drunk.

……

Less than a month after the start of school, Niu Tiangou ate 7 wedding banquets from teachers (a first birthday banquet, a housewarming banquet, a 10th birthday banquet, a remarriage banquet, an old man's "immortal death" banquet, a 70th birthday and an 80th birthday banquet), and gave 7 love gifts.

Each person has a gift of 50 yuan, although Niu Tiangou's current salary has risen to more than 300 yuan, but in less than a month, he spent more than a month's salary and became a "moonlight family".

I remember that when I first joined the work, a love gift was only 5 yuan, but I didn't expect it to rise 10 times after 10 years, and the favor gift also rose with the rising level of prices, and kept pace with the times, it seems that there is a trend of rising to 100 yuan and 200 yuan, and this gift money has really become a heavy burden for him.

Originally, his wife Teresa Teng left 10,000 yuan when she left after returning for the New Year, but Niu Tiangou used all of it to repay the arrears he borrowed from his sister's house when he bought the house.

Niu Tiangou still owes his parents and younger brothers more than 20,000 yuan in debt to buy a house, and he is really shy at this time.

After another two months, Niu Tiangou felt that the human courtesy between the teachers in the school was like a huge whirlpool that made him dizzy.

There are more than 150 teachers in the school, in addition to their own marriage, childbirth (full moon, first birthday), housewarming, illness and hospitalization, remarriage, wife's opening of a store, children's 10 years old, going to school, joining the army, getting married, parents' birthdays or funerals, grandchildren's first and 10 years old, etc., all have to hold banquets.

It is necessary not only to do it, but also to do it in a big way, to do it with pomp, momentum, and glory. Regardless of whether others are sincere or not, as long as there are many people who come, give yourself a magnificent scene, increase momentum, and add glory, and a group of cats and dogs.

In order to invite more people, they often use the form of "notice" and "good news" to write on the blackboard board of the propaganda board at the school gate to advertise widely, lest some teachers "pretend to be deaf and dumb".

In particular, school leaders and school district leaders are crowded with people when they hold banquets and entertain guests, and there is an endless stream of flattering people.

The teachers were all involved in the whirlpool of human affection as if they were drunk, and Niu Tiangou was also caught in it.

By the end of May, Niu Tiangou had given 12 favors, not including his brothers, sisters-in-law, relatives, old family relatives and two old classmates who had not been in touch for several years.

Especially in August, there are always about 10 teachers' children or grandchildren in the school who are admitted to university, and the college banquet is in full swing, and Niu Tiangou has put several months' salary into it.

Alas!

When has the relationship been? How much do you know about socializing! The restaurant is noisy day and night, and the teacher is overwhelmed. The face of friendship seems to be there, but I just sigh helplessly. How sad can you be? Pity a year of hard work to pay the water!

Niu Tiangou felt embarrassed, entangled, and depressed about this kind of human courtesy.

Send it, such a big school, more than 150 teachers, a variety of gifts are really unbearable, the salary of 300 yuan a month, often will not be able to make ends meet, this "high-priced rice" is really not delicious; Don't send it, a school teacher, everyone looks down and doesn't look up to see it, people like cigarettes and candy, and they are also "widely advertised" on the blackboard, can you still pretend to be stupid, don't talk about "human favors", and don't give face? Aren't you afraid that you will feel embarrassed when you meet afterwards and eventually cause alienation in the relationship between colleagues?

Alas, our Chinese people are the most face-conscious and face-saving, and the favor is not a sincere blessing, it is all squeezed out of face.

To be honest, Niu Tiangou is extremely disgusted with this kind of human courtesy that is too large and too indiscriminate. At the beginning, in addition to inviting all the teachers of Tuhuang Township Middle School (less than 20) when he got married, when his daughter turned one year old, he did not notify the teachers of the school at all, only invited his brothers and concubines and a few immediate relatives to hold a wedding banquet at home.

Niu Tiangou believes that this kind of human affection that is too large and too indiscriminate has at least three major harms:

1. Wasting everyone's time.

More than 150 teachers had to participate in a banquet, wasting a whole day of eating, drinking, and having fun. Even if the average teacher only wastes 10 hours a day, it adds up to more than 1,500 hours; Even if there are only 10 (and definitely more) banquets in the whole school a year, it adds up to more than 15,000 hours. What are the more than 15,000 hours of time that teachers are not good for? Do you have to waste it on a card table, a mahjong table, or a waste of idle?

2. Wasting everyone's money.

Needless to say, the person who gives the gift of favor wastes money, but the person who receives the gift (the person who hosts a banquet) does not waste money?

You send 50 yuan for other people's errands, and then you charge 50 yuan for other people's errands, which seems to be flattened on the surface, but the 50 yuan you receive has to subtract the expenses of the banquet, assuming that the expenses of 25 yuan are subtracted, and you only have 25 yuan left. In other words, the 50 yuan you give out is only 25 yuan in the "to" and "to" of the favor. If you give away 100,000 yuan in 20 years, you will only have 50,000 yuan left in the end, and part of the "wasted" 50,000 yuan will be eaten and drunk, and part will be taken away by the hotel or chef.

Therefore, the scope is too large and too indiscriminate to send favors back and forth, and in the end it can only be poor everyone, fatten the hotel or chef, and satisfy the vanity of the guests who are hosting a banquet for a few hours.

3. It increases the burden on everyone.

More than 150 teachers had to give gifts to a banquet, which increased the material burden of the teachers;

The scope of human affection and etiquette is too large and too indiscriminate, some teachers are overwhelmed, they don't want to send face and don't have any face, hesitate and distress, sometimes the happy events of relatives and friends outside the school and old classmates and old colleagues are "on the same stage", whether to go after receiving the invitation, which one should go on the same day, whether to give gifts in person or to transfer them to others, how much is appropriate, whether they can afford more, and whether it will affect face and feelings...... All kinds of considerations are entangled and troubled, and even because there are too many gifts to give people, they rack their brains for how to "fish" it back, which adds too much unnecessary mental burden to the teachers.

Niu Tiangou believes that relatives must be sent because of their inherent blood relationship; A few close friends, in order to express affection, should also be sent, but what about those ordinary colleagues? What about the old classmates who haven't been in touch for years? They usually don't contact, but they send invitations as soon as they get in touch, are they willing? They are out of face and helpless.

Especially those colleagues who are estranged from themselves and look detached, they feel that everyone has sent them, and they don't send them seem too stingy, unsociable, and unpopular, so they can only send them hard.

This is really a waste of money and money, and it hurts the people.

Niu Tiangou was depressed: the harm of such human courtesy is so obvious, why are teachers willing to fall into it as if they have madness?

When encountering weddings and funerals, it is natural for people to hold banquets and entertain guests, why can't you hold one or two tables or three or five tables, and let your immediate relatives and sincere friends express their hearts? Why can't you "tailor your clothes" and "live within your means" and decide the scope of the banquet according to your own poor income? Why do we have to "bluff" and "slap a swollen face to become fat" to run a dozen tables, twenty tables, or even thirty or forty tables, and pull in irrelevant colleagues and acquaintances to waste time, waste money, and energy to gather the number of people to make a lively show to save face, so that the teachers of the whole school are not at peace?

He couldn't figure it out.

Do people have a subtle "blind herd" mentality? When the surrounding environment agrees with one thing, even if it does more harm than good, will it still be assimilated by this fanatical environment? Otherwise, they will be considered "outliers"? Seen as "eccentric" or "unsociable"?