In the canons of several major spell universities, there is one of the most luxurious and effective means for cultivating potential juniors.

Rain of mana.

It's like taking a bath, a shower sprays all the thickest mana factors in a place the size of a bathroom, and only one person enjoys the feeling.

With special treatment, not only will people not be affected badly, but they will gradually become accustomed to the benefits of spells.

Moreover, it is of great benefit to a person in the practice of spells.

It's very comfortable.

Long Yifei was very comfortable at this time.

It was warm, comfortable, quiet and peaceful.

Suddenly, she remembered something, and it seemed that she was in danger!

Make room for it.

The surroundings seem to be different from the secret realm.

There are many trees, the ground is very soft, and the surrounding arrangement is very delicate, not under the few well-known gardens that Long Yifei knows.

She stood up and looked at Lu Qingyi, who was still unconscious next to her, but began to inspect the surrounding situation.

The situation here is simple.

About 100 square meters, it is such a small yard with water and forests, beds and light.

And the courtyard is surrounded by walls, behind the walls...... Nothing.

This is a small secret realm, a small space, as small as this, and I don't know how to maintain it.

On a very comfortable collapse, a guqin was placed there.

Long Yifei looked down, reached out and touched it, and confirmed that the manufacturing method was very old-fashioned, but the maintenance was not bad.

Just as she was about to play it, "Take your dirty hands off me." ”

Long Yifei smiled indifferently and said, "This is yours?"

"It's not mine, everything here is mine, you leave quickly!"

Long Yifei gave up some position, but his hand still didn't leave, and said: "Then you play, let's have a discussion, I really don't know, you also know the rhythm!"

Lu Qingyi quickly got up, sat there with a black face, and said, "Go away!"

"Okay, I need to rest now," Long Yifei leaned on a cushion and said, "This is your hole card, a secret realm that is fully controlled and can come back at any time?" ”

"It's a lot of restrictions, well, should we leave right away. ”

"No, I'll take a break......"

“......”

Long Yifei gradually fell asleep, breathing steadily, but seemed to be in a bad mood.

Lu Qingyi looked at it with a malicious expression at first, but after a while, he didn't do anything, and began to sort out the things here, in a daze.

She has a rattle in her hand.

kept making the sound of "dong dong dong", and Lu Qingyi suddenly burst into tears.

Tears kept flowing, but the stream in the distance began to make the sound of running water.

I don't know how long it took.

Long Yifei stood behind her and said, "This is where you grew up." ”

"How do you know, you're spying on me!"

"Isn't it obvious, the layout here, the stroller and so on, it means that there was once a baby born and raised here, judging from a few things, it was a girl, and, for many years, well, there is no one here, I made an analysis, what will become of the character model of children who grow up in this small and secret place, especially girls, irritable, violent, don't care about people, and have a single purpose. ”

"Hmph. ”

"So, that's where you grew up, and I'm going to have to change my analysis of you, at least you...... I guess I was born many years ago. ”

"Before my parents died, they used secret methods to send me here, and with my swaddling clothes, there was also an afterimage of them, which was their last energy, which only lasted for ten years, and took care of me for ten years. ”

"So you're so withdrawn, so lonely, and you've been on your own since you were ten. ”

"I don't need your sympathy!"

Childhood trauma can continue to affect a person's entire life. And when we grow up, we don't remember them. And this technique of losing memory in painful situations still works for us as adults.

Those bad moods, jealousy, anger, confusion, we hope that they will never appear, so we are always looking for ways to deal with them.

It's strange that we've been taught to be honest as a virtue since we were young, but we've never been honest about how our bodies react. This kind of dishonesty refers to the fact that emotions are clearly happening, but we try our best to deny them, cover them up, and suppress them. Perhaps we have also made a filtered choice of honesty, choosing honesty with others and dishonesty with our own bodies.

Because subconsciously, we think that once these emotions appear, we are denying ourselves that we are a kind, generous, and calm person with good character.

In the deeper subconscious, we believe that only when we have good emotions are we worthy of being loved and affirmed, and when we have bad emotions, we are not worthy of being loved and affirmed.

Our greatest trauma is that we have never been loved for our true selves.

Obviously, in the process of growing up, at home and school, and in all adult environments, we will inevitably encounter all kinds of normative constraints and bad tastes, which come from parents, teachers, and elders. Out of the desire for love and the fear of survival, we are incapable of demanding self-development, so we can only submit to submission and are forced to develop a false self.

In the preface to the Chinese edition of the book, the author's son gives a definition of the false self: "The false self is a mental structure that arises from the subservience shown in the face of external needs. People often think that the false self is their true self, their true personality. ”

None of us are aware that this training of submissive consciousness begins at a very early age.

From childhood, we begin to adapt to the needs of our parents, which also determines the direction of our personality (4~7 years old is the period of personality formation). Because what we need most is love and affirmation from our parents.

What is even more terrifying is that the personality that parents inherit from their parents will unconsciously oppress us as they raise their children as adults, and we will also unconsciously bring them to our children.

It's like the fate of human beings, which keeps the secret of our true self hidden for generations, unless we can see through this illusion and develop our true self. Is it possible to break this spell?

Fortunately, all the secrets of our lives, although forgotten by the brain, are faithfully recorded in our bodies. Those outpouring of emotions and illnesses are the most faithful reactions. It's a pity that when we grow up, we only learn to think rationally to see things, and leave our body reactions behind.

To break the spell, we need to relive the painful experiences of childhood, those feelings of helplessness and anger, to heal our true selves that have never grown.

It's not easy, and it may be difficult to break free from the inner cage for the rest of your life. Because we need to break through the barrier of great suffering, to have a deep physical awakening.

Only when we give up the illusion of a happy childhood and experience and recognize 100% of the pain (humiliation, envy, jealousy, sadness) that we have endured in childhood, can we open emotional communication channels, return to our own emotional world, develop the ability to feel sadness, and regain the vitality of life.

I thought maybe we could embark on the path of self-healing by reliving the painful experiences of childhood. Those emotions that we could not afford in childhood, only after using the physical experience of adulthood can we truly say goodbye to the fears of childhood, and we no longer need to rely on substitutes for a lifetime.

The importance of childhood to a person's life is self-evident.

There are many stubborn psychological diseases, which are deeply hidden, such as lack of love.

Lack of love is the root cause of many psychological defects. Such as timidity, cowardice, sensitivity, low self-esteem, etc.

When I was a child, I lacked love, and when I grew up, I often had low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. Sometimes you will gradually get used to not being noticed, not being cared for, not being cared for, not being understood, and then becoming a loner, not participating in others and afraid of others coming in.

Each of us, to a greater or lesser extent, is aware that our childhood experiences have an inescapable impact on our adult lives. Some of the effects are positive, such as rewards from parents and teachers or a win in a competition.

Some of the effects are negative, such as being beaten and scolded by parents, humiliated in public, etc.

Physical pain is easy to forget, but mental abuse is a nightmare!

We can recall these real events many times, and the impact of the events can also be truly felt. But there are still some "things" that we can't remember, but they can still have a negative impact on our lives.

It's just that this effect doesn't happen because things really happen, but because they should have happened but didn't happen. This is the lack of love in childhood.

In a family, when the child's emotional needs are not adequately recognized, accepted, and responded to by the parents for a long time, the child learns to hide or suppress their true feelings, and the negative effects of lack of love occur.

Young children do not have the ability to resist and resist the actions of their parents, but they have instinctive survival strategies.

In other words, in order to survive, children will fully accept their parents' responses to their emotions, and make corresponding changes to cater to their parents.

A child who regularly experiences the above-mentioned behavioral feedback from his parents will gradually let go of his feelings and put them aside, or hide them completely. Only in this way will these feelings no longer be discovered by parents, and they will be able to please them in disguise.

But in this way, after a long time, even they themselves are not well aware of their emotional state in the end. As a result, the outer self and the inner self are separated.

People who grow up in such a family environment are often unable to perceive their true emotions and often doubt their inner feelings.

Their emotional self has been denied and suppressed, and they have not been able to truly experience it through the affirmation and acceptance of their parents.

Their emotions have no foundation, they can't land, and they always seem to be in an ethereal state.

They may look like a sound person on the outside, but deep down they are hesitant, lonely, and empty.

I always feel that something is missing, something is wrong, but I don't know what is missing and what is wrong.

They are not well aware of their own feelings, nor can they be well aware and appreciate the emotions of others, so it is difficult for them to establish deep emotional relationships with others.

I always feel that there is a wall between myself and others, so I often have no sense of belonging in my heart.

They always have the feeling that they are always somewhere else, and they don't know where the world belongs to them.

People who lack love in their childhood, they can't trust their inner feelings, and they can't fully trust their decisions.

As a result, they often struggle with their decisions and often find themselves doing things they don't want to do.

People who lack love in their childhood, they always seem to think about others, but rarely for themselves. They are either unable to express their emotional needs because they are unaware of them, or they experience certain feelings and needs but are afraid to express them.

Subconscious voices keep reminding them: my feelings don't matter, my needs don't matter. They may be accustomed to smiling at others, but they seem to be extra themselves.

When faced with themselves, they often feel disappointed in themselves and always feel that they are not good enough.

When they reach adulthood, they have blind spots in their emotional experiences. Not only are they unable to understand their own inner state well, but it is also difficult for them to accurately understand the feelings of others.

When they become parents themselves, it is naturally more difficult to understand the emotional needs of their children. Therefore, their children are also very likely to grow up in an emotional blind spot and lack love just like they did back then. This kind of trauma is difficult to recover and heal. There is no other way than to make yourself strong and solid over time, or with the help of reliable people (such as a lover who loves you very much).

People who lack love in childhood like to dwell on past hurts, so they feel self-pity and self-harm. The injuries cling to you like seaweed in drowning, dragging you into the endless abyss of darkness, the more entangled, the more suffocating.

Some problems, ignoring them, are much better, much better than trying to solve them. Especially those who are destined to be inexplicable.

In an age when material things are not lacking, what may be lacking is love.

Without being respected, recognized, encouraged, trusted, or accepted, these "nos" will turn into a whirlpool in the long and short years, sinking into the deep sea, and being silent for many years.

One day, this whirlpool will rush out with several times the force, shattering the calm of the sea to pieces.

The longer it is hidden, the more violent the outbreak becomes, and even the waves are raging, and there will never be peace.

If at the beginning, you can let the sea flow, you can't help but hold it, you can't help but admire the way it swells, then it will grow up to have real strength, not fear, no retreat, no madness.

When people who lack love grow up, they often have the following characteristics and problems.

Long Yifei has been loved by thousands of people since she was a child, which is the ultimate of love.

Lu Qingyi has been withdrawn and speechless since he was a child, and he is the ultimate in love.