"Zhang Huan listens to orders!" This is Di Renjie Di Gong giving orders.

"In!" Zhang Huan heard the commander-in-chief call his head, and quickly stood up from the crowd, for fear that the military commander would be unhappy if he was slow.

"I order you to go to the Han Empire with my letters, give my handwritten letter to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, and ask him to summon Liu Sun Cao, with the Han Empire as the unification, to go to the land of Middle-earth, and participate in the Battle of the Golden Fleece. Other matters are detailed in the letter. With a fast horse 800 miles expedited, there must be no mistake! Di Renjie opened his eyes wide and said, there is a kind of emphasis in this, and the command itself is a kind of emphasis, which is just to reinforce the emphasis.

"So-and-so will be ordered." Zhang Huan ordered to go down with a fast horse, this is a capable general under Di Renjie, and the task of this trip is very important, because the emperor of the Han Empire is in name only, which requires Zhang Huan to have the best adaptability.

So how was Di Renjie's distress letter written? (In the afternoon, I hope that after the lunch break, I will have a more refreshing brain and write a supernatural work that shocks China and foreign countries.) ）

The content of the letter is roughly as follows:

It has long been heard that Liu Bang slashed the snake uprising and unified the country to establish the Han Empire, but this has become history.

Now that we have entered a chaotic situation in which people, ghosts, and gods dominate one side, according to your prestige in your previous life, we hereby hire you as a member of the General Staff of the Eight-Nation Alliance, and we will decide the unfinished matters in the future.

The full text of the reference is as follows:

The first thing I want to tell you is that this place has found a world-class beauty, she is the number one beauty in all of Greece, and if there is a world competition, she must be the first.

This girl's name is Helen, and it is too abstract to say that she is beautiful, so I will use a few terms to explain it to you. When I first saw it, she was just a prototype of a beautiful woman, and if I look for an inappropriate metaphor for this, I'll talk about her mother.

Although she gave birth to her daughter Helen, her two ** are like the pyramids of Egypt, standing tall and unslanted.

What caused this woman's beauty was stunning. The case of the dereliction of duty of the sun god. When the sun god drove the sun chariot to ascend in the east, he saw the woman's true body from the light, and in only one ten-thousandth of a second, the hormones on the sun god Helius grew so violently that the sun god could not control his man's nature. Knowing that it was a capital crime, he abandoned the sun car and flew to the beauty without a cloth......

To be honest, Helius, the god of the sun, is also a man among men, a beautiful woman among beautiful men, a woman who can cause hormonal expansion. To be sure, there are only single digits in the world.

You know what? This product made the beauty so sassy that she didn't even want her life, and in the end she was so tired that she died on the stomach of the beautiful Leda. Later, it was Hua Tuo who brought him back to life. I'm talking about this being the mother of the beautiful Helen, and that's enough. Because there must be a mother and a daughter, do you want me to say that her daughter Helen also uses the same noun, ** sharp as a pyramid? You must know that this daughter Helen is still a beginner.

Do you know how far this has got? Goose, here I have found a perfect analogy, we compare this Helen beauty to a piece of stinky meat, and it stinks so badly, and all the flies that fly this way to all kinds of heroes. Of course, there must be a comparison among them, otherwise whoever flies first will taste the freshness of this stinky meat first. Is there still stinky meat on this piece of stinky meat? No, it has long since turned into maggots.

This is to use the high god metaphor to use a fan to keep going, and this person is the supreme god Zeus. He is also the illegitimate father of Helen Beauty. With power, with relationships, this piece of stinky meat is undoubtedly genuine for heroes from all walks of life, who dares to dye it secretly, it is almost certain that he will not live for three days, his private father is the god of thunder, and there are immortal things when he fights a thunderbolt?

So, for the sake of fairness. The Supreme Divine Realm decided to divide the world into two. On one side is the Roman Empire, which belongs to the land of Middle-earth. On one side, it is headed by the Tang Empire and belongs to the land of China.

The victory or defeat of the war is not to go directly to get the beautiful Helen, but to get the Golden Fleece. But it is estimated that every man who gets the Golden Fleece will exchange it for Helen's beauty's B, because this product is so beautiful that it can't be more beautiful, because her mother even loves the gods to death. That man loved him even more so that he died ten thousand times.

I guess if you come to participate in the battle for the Golden Fleece, Helen Beauty is yours because you have a huge army, and we have two female directors on our side who are secretly messing around. Especially the Queen Mother, this cicada B. I haven't read a book, I think that if I don't hurt people, I won't break the law, I don't understand social norms, and I leak the military information of the Supreme God Realm in exchange for bribes...... I'm embarrassed, I have to give her some gold bricks, just let her get it like this, Amen!

Di Renjie ended up using a Buddhist term that means to thank God?

"Di Gong, it's okay, I'll wait outside to see the movement to see the thousands of changes in the situation." This is the commander-in-chief of the Tang Empire, Li Shimin, he wants to master the first material, and now he is still mainly looking at the trend, and there is no sign to deduce the future.

"Okay, then let's go to the mysterious island of the main battlefield, and first keep the terrain of the main battlefield in mind, so that it will be useful to arrange troops in the future." Di Renjie obeyed Li Shimin's wishes, because he was the commander-in-chief after all, and he had a veto power in handling matters in this decisive battle.

"Wait a minute, I'm going too." Wu Zetian said.

"You said you were going to follow, why did you go back, sick?" Li Shimin said in the tone of an old husband and wife.

"Because I'm a girl, I have to go home and put on some lipstick...... Wu Zetian's ass twisted and twisted, almost old, why do you want to wear lipstick as soon as you go out, this can be said to be a kind of inertia, as if if if you don't fight is going out with your bare ass, shame me to death!

"You just said you went home and got a green hat for me." It doesn't matter if she can hear it or not, she puts the words out first, and it doesn't need to play a lot of role anyway.

"What did the emperor say about this?" Di Renjie pretended to be a layman and couldn't understand the cuckold.

"I'm laughing at this, if she really has the ability to put a green hat on my head, I'll be shouting God long live in the depths of my heart! You see that she has become a hippopotamus all over her body, and I want to vomit next to ......" After Li Shimin finished speaking, he made a grimace at Di Renjie, and stuck his tongue out, like a dog that had just stopped running under the sun in summer.

Wu Zetian was looking for cosmetics, but he didn't easily find a small note: Dear Emperor Li Shimin, you see how I compare to Wu Zetian, I don't talk about it based on my appearance, I just rely on a tender word, which is enough, and this alone can make men love crazy. Guess who I am? - Wu Yuanmin

After reading the words on the small note, Wu Zetian had to laugh, thinking that you little girl has braids, Li Shimin is already so old that he has lost all his teeth, you are still interested, it is really a little X son reincarnated, and she will return to her old business as soon as she is born. Why didn't you eat the ** soup, that damn Hades made a mistake.

Thinking about it again, no, there may be fraud, do you want to make me angry to mess with Di Renjie, which can make Li Shimin let her do it, and get two things in one go. It seems that this little ghost is smart, and he buys firewood to burn while picking firewood to sell...... In this way, don't let them have a father-daughter relationship, lest others say that they are incestuous X?

Thinking of this, Wu Zetian really began to dress up more charmingly. The goose is in the middle of Li Shimin's curse on himself.

(We remember not to curse when we do things, two women play hemp and make a mistake to win or lose, curse and say that people will die, but before they can get off the table, someone will say what happened to someone's someone...... And it's not necessarily true or false.

Some people will think that the last time I was missing someone else's said that someone else was missing mine, my curse is still fine, this time I'm still like this, but I was really hurt by the other party, of course, there is only stealing fun when such a thing happens, you are embarrassed to say that I am missing her, I swear that she is missing mine, but God did not have long eyes, and the disaster was on her head, don't blame the master! ）

"Hurry up, I've seen you for so long, I'm afraid it's not just lipstick on your mouth, right?" Li Shimin said a little weirdly.

Wu Zetian didn't have the heart to listen to Li Shimin, she focused on Di Renjie's face, it was really better than Li Shimin in comparison, then I won't expose Li Shimin's involvement in Wu Yuanmin for the time being, this may be just a symptom, then let him go.

"Isn't it?" Li Shimin was almost lifting Wu Zetian's skirt to see if it was red.

"What's not, how did you learn to be like an ignorant countryman, yin and yang?" Wu Zetian was already suspicious of Li Shimin, and seeing that he had become so light in his speech, he felt that he had no weight in the other party's eyes.

Li Shimin leaned close to Wu Zetian's ear and whispered: "Did you also put lipstick on B, otherwise it would be an autumn eggplant......

Goose! This sentence happened to Wu Zetian's weakness, she really forgot about this stubble, she really had to pay attention to this in the future, the times have changed, unlike the old society when doing this stupid thing, always blow the lamp first and then do it, which can also give men a little beauty! Of course, she can also dress a little tender in her own old autumn clothes.

(I often guess that women nowadays may have understood this, so is this name Yin Hong?) Relative to lipstick. ――At this point, I can think that this is a good business opportunity, if we don't have a cosmetics called Yin Hong, why don't we preemptively register this trademark? It's called "The First Beauty Helen Brand B Gets Red"

Think about it, friends, how did Jack Ma come about? Oh, I thought of it, Baidu! (Areola bleaching - female vulva, ** profile of bleaching body cosmetics distribution company.) Laugh at me, 10,000 years behind. Serious behind closed doors. But I believe that there are people like us who are 10,000 years behind, and at this time, when you read the novel and see this, you must be half laughing to death, if it is a young woman, she will run to the city before dawn...... It's not crazy, it's just to buy this thing and surprise the river. It turns out that women in the world are tossing like this! ）

Wu Zetian saw that Li Shimin was yin and yang, and after whispering to her, he pretended to be a little scared. This made Wu Zetian think that when a man has such a situation, the woman will reach out and pinch the man's thigh hard, otherwise the man is uncomfortable, otherwise the man will treat the woman as a fool.

"Ouch hey!" Wu Zenaïve pinched, and Li Shimin was so painful that he was pinched to the waist, and his eyes were full of tears, the ghost wants you to be light? (To be continued.) )