(I've been in bed all day after I've been feeling unwell today, and I've been getting up at night to write this chapter, hoping that tomorrow will get better.) I was supposed to write two more chapters as planned, but I finished them all today, which is an attempt at another language style. I wish you all good health and all the best! ）

In my previous life, I was always in a state of insecurity with gains and losses, and if I had to find a time period during which I no longer felt sorry for myself and complained about the cruelty of life, it would be the first few years I spent with Gong Wei.

It was a sunny day, a sunny day, and even on a rainy day, I could see a ray of sunlight rushing out of the thick dark clouds to illuminate the road in front of me. Gong Wei's thoughtfulness and carefulness are almost meticulous, and I can also hide my stubbornness and stubbornness, revealing the posture of a little woman.

Gu Zhe returned to his own city, his own life, and then withdrew from my life, intentionally or unintentionally. Gu Zhe fell in love, he brought the girl to my side, the girl was very beautiful, and she was a good match to stand with Gu Zhe.

The girl called sweetly: "Sister." ”

I smiled happily and took each other's hands like sisters, but I felt the girl's brow furrow slightly, it was a disgusting, disdainful emotion, as if I had taken possession of her beloved toy for no reason. No matter how well she hid it, I could feel it clearly.

I went to the beach with Gong Wei, Gu Zhe and the girl, the girl was innocent like a child, carefree and holding Gu Zhe's hand and running on the beach, her snow-white little feet stepped on the soft sand, stepping on shallow footprints.

The girl turned around and smiled at me, and Gu Zhe also turned around and smiled at me.

I knew that the girl's smile was far-fetched, but I couldn't see what Gu Zhe was thinking. I can't tell if his smile is real or fake. I grew up with him, I should understand his every move, his thoughts, but now I can't, I can't see his heart anymore.

That night, the four of us had dinner together. Only Gu Zhe was drunk at the table. Still the kind of drunken drunk, he told the story of me and his childhood from beginning to end like an old man reminiscing about the past.

From that moment, I knew what it was like from his point of view. My childhood with him turned out to be a colorful oil painting with bright colors and clear details. I don't know why I'm obsessed with Gu Zhe's narration, maybe it's because of my happiness now. Makes me interested in reminiscing about the past.

It turned out that I was a superman in Gu Zhe's eyes, because when he first saw me. I was standing on the big elm tree in the orphanage, and he thought that only a superman could climb that high.

Because Superman is kind, that night, when he stood by my bed with a teddy bear in his arms. I would let him go to bed, and sure enough, I let him go to bed.

Then I climbed the elm tree again. Climb to the courtyard wall, only one step to be able to cross the courtyard wall. I saw the scenery outside, but I looked back at Gu Zhe who was standing under the tree, and I returned to the orphanage.

In the future junior high school life and high school life, the life in Gu Zhe's eyes is completely different from the life I see, my life is monotonous and colorless, but the life in Gu Zhe's eyes is colorful, so Gu Zhe is optimistic, I am pessimistic.

That night, Gu Zhe was drunk, and Gong Wei sent him to the place where he lived, leaving only me and the girl.

The girl sat opposite me, drinking the boiled water in the cup shallowly, she said: "Gu Zhe is the same as this cup of boiled water, I liked him at first sight." ”

I couldn't help but nodded, feeling that what this girl said was very accurate: "Gu Zhe is indeed a glass of boiled water, spotless. ”

The girl suddenly smiled bitterly, this kind of wry smile was like the scene where Gu Zhe saw me and Gong Wei holding hands for the first time: "But this cup of boiled water does not belong to me, Gu Zhe has someone in his heart, I will never be able to go to his heart, and the intelligence wanders around the periphery, occasionally peeking into his inner thoughts." ”

As if I had heard something incredible, I frowned slightly: "Gu Zhe has someone in his heart?" I grew up with him since I was a child, how did I not know that he had someone in his heart? You must be mistaken、"

The girl sneered, looked at me with some pity, as if she were looking at the most pitiful person in the world, and then said something that I didn't understand very well: "Whether you really don't know, or you are deliberately deceiving yourself, you are pitiful." Then she was gone, and from behind, her figure was charming, like a flower waiting to bloom for someone.

In the future, Gu Zhe has been here a few times, and the girls around him are different each time, but they look at me differently, and there is a little pity in disgust.

Gong Wei is an excellent person, his excellent subtle and gentle, like a round jade, a burst of warmth, people can't put it down. As a result, Gong Wei attracted the favor of many girls, and the craziest of them was the junior girls.

The younger sister is a beautiful and smart person, living a wealthy life, doting on her elders, she doesn't know what it's like to be sad, and there is no shortage of suitors around her, but she likes Gong Wei without hesitation. Her liking is unassuming, low-key and subtle, like a beacon guarding Gong Wei's side, whenever Gong Wei needs it, she will always appear just right. Even I have to admit the sincerity of this feeling, it is not the crazy possessiveness of the rich lady, nor is it the dark psychology of not getting it or being good. This relationship can go through the tempering of time - even as a rival in love, I admit this relationship - not to mention Gong Wei.

She still silently stays by Gong Wei's side, but the emotion of longing sometimes breaks through people's reason, and that kind of torment is like a seed buried deep in her heart, every time she sees me and Gong Wei together, it is like rain dripping on this seed, letting it take root and sprout, and then thrive, and finally bear the fruit of darkness. When the fruit was ripe, she made a very stupid mistake.

She used her unique status to frame me, like my roommate's lost money would appear in my wallet for no reason, and some rumors spread around the campus that I got into the luxury car of a wealthy businessman, so I became a thief and a woman of bad character.

These remarks reached Gong Wei's ears, but I was not worried at all, because of my confidence in Gong Wei. At the same time, it is also my confidence in myself. Sure enough, Gong Wei accepted the rumors as if he was listening to a joke, and treated me better, like a declaration, declaring my importance in Gong Wei's heart.

I used to ask myself afterwards, what would I do if I were her? The answer is that I will do it harder, because she has been happier than me since she was a child. Received a better education. has a higher moral bottom line, and I'm only strong because I have Gong Wei, that's all.

I had a sour taste. asked, "Gong Hao, don't you have a little feeling in your heart?" ”

Gong Wei smiled and said, "I'm not a greedy person, it's enough to have you." Besides, no matter how good she is. Whatever I do. ”

I laughed, smiled happily, and I got pregnant.

I was pregnant, and I was a little scared. I don't know what to do with my newborn life, whether I can handle the duties of a mother. Gong Wei said a lot to me in a warm voice, and we have our own nest. There is a peaceful life.

But the bad news of the thunderbolt on a sunny day came suddenly, and Gong Wei suddenly seemed to be a different person. Standing in front of me coldly, it seems that the previous palace does not exist at all.

I asked, "Why?" ”

Gong Wei looked at me like a fool, he seemed to have expected me to ask such a question, and he also thought of the answer, but he didn't want to say it, but stood there with a faint smile.

On weekdays, when I see this kind of smile, I feel warm and kind, but now when I see it, I feel a chill behind it.

Gong Wei left without looking back, and walked very decisively, that is a mystery that I can never solve in my previous life and previous life, how can a person who is warm in spring suddenly become ruthless and cold, my trust in Gong Wei is gone all of a sudden, but fortunately I still have a child, a child in my belly. I didn't tell Gu Zhe what happened to me, there was no reason, I just didn't want to, there are some things that I always have to face by myself.

To be honest, I don't hate Gong Wei, after all, he gave me the happiest time in my life, during which I was no longer an abandoned child, but a child who was cared for. It seems that in my subconscious, I saw the separation from Gong Wei, but I didn't want to admit it.

I've been living alone for so many years, and I don't care about living alone for many more years, until my hair is gray and I can't go to the old one. So I rented a house for myself, the house is not big, it is very warmly furnished by me, there is a pot of cactus balls on the balcony, covered with thorns, it does not need to be watered every day, as long as I occasionally sprinkle some water when I think about it, it will thrive with contentment - this is a stubborn and stubborn plant - I am not as good as it, but I have to learn from it.

However, the injustice of fate to me had just begun, and one day I walked into the toilet with my stomach in my hands, and then I saw bright red blood flowing out, and a piercing pain hit my mind, like a sharp needle, piercing a thousand holes in my body. I sat on the ground crying helplessly, I knew that the last glimmer of hope in my life was gone, I couldn't see the phone number on my phone, I couldn't see the scenery around me, and I couldn't even see my own hands.

I wiped away my tears and lay alone on the bed, curled up like a child in my mother's belly, full of sun-kissed warmth, the corners of my mouth slightly upturned, with a smile.

I saw:

Outside the classroom, the sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and there was Gong Wei sitting beside him, which was very reassuring and warm. Gong Wei handed over a plum, and I ate it with crooked eyes, it was very sour, sour to the root of my teeth, but it was also very sweet, sweet to my heart.

At that time, it was laughter, joy, a world of two people, even in winter, it felt warm like spring, and the north wind was sultry.

The whole picture begins to shatter, then there is a merciless parting, darkness and an endless road, the sun is no longer shining, the wind is no longer singing, red is no longer red, blue is no longer blue, white permeates a hazy gray.

Then there is the anguish, the despair, the quagmire that cannot be escaped, and the sadness that is getting closer and closer.

Finally, there was the sound of the small glass cup shattering, whirling on the ground, shattering in an instant, and the crystal clear glass slag on the ground shattered the heart along the way.

When I left that world, I seemed to see someone kneeling on the ground, hugging himself and crying bitterly, and the man muttered, "Don't be afraid, you see, what a blue sky...... Walk past and you can melt into the blue sky...... Keep walking and don't look either way...... Go for it......"

It's just that I can't tell if that person is Gong Wei or Gu Zhe.

The previous life is like a dream, the dream is very long, but it is not complicated, it is like a new experience of the story of the previous life. (To be continued)