When I got home, I lay on the bed dizzily, and then fell asleep very deadly, but I dreamed of Mi Cai again, and I dreamed that she left me in a way that did not say goodbye, and I began to look for her all over the world, always thinking that the next dock, the next station, the next airport, there will be her figure, and then she asked her to give me an explanation, but the dream gave me all disappointment, so that I woke up in disappointment.

I turned on the bedside lamp, lit a cigarette, and calmed my feelings, and my heart was as unwilling to equate dreams with reality as always, only feeling that I hadn't seen Mi Cai for too long, and I had been too tired and depressed recently, so that this dream full of despair took my sleep.

Actually, Mi Cai she will not leave me, even if she can give up me, but also can not give up Zhuomei, so to speak, although there is a trace of sadness, but at least a reliance in the heart, sometimes, I really don't mind that my love is too humble, as long as she is by my side, will say a sentence like me Zhaoyang, I feel a kind of happiness.

There were footsteps outside the door, and then I heard the door open, and I knew that it was Daddy and Mom who had returned, for their steps, one steady, the other fast, I had been listening to them for decades, and of course I could tell the difference.

I hurriedly put out the unfinished cigarette in my hand in the ashtray, and then put on my clothes, I didn't want my angry mother to see how lazy I was.

When I was only halfway through my clothes, my mother opened the door of my house, and immediately took a step back because of the smell of smoke in the house, and her words were full of anger: "Zhaoyang, you let me say that you are so good, can you still see us as parents now?" With a son like you, we didn't accumulate virtue in our previous life, and we have been worried about you and tired for you in this life! ”

Ban Dad pushed her and said, "You are talking too much."

I bowed my head and was silent, knowing that since she saw me in the morning, she had begun to accumulate a lot of negative feelings in her heart, and Li Xiaoyun's wedding had aroused her long-standing dissatisfaction.

The old mother whimpered: "Lao Zhao, tell me, isn't this a sin?" Today, watching Xiao Yun get married under my nose, my heart is like a knife, but I can't help but bless this good girl, this disobedient son, if he cares a little about our parents' feelings, Xiao Yun She would have been the daughter-in-law of our Lao Zhao family a long time ago! ”

I endured it and said nothing

Ban Dad persuaded again: "Marriage is about fate, Zhaoyang and Xiaoyun really have no fate, it's useless for you to force it." ”

"I'm afraid that this disobedient son will regret it in the future, how can there be a second girl like Xiaoyun!" The more my mother talked, the more angry she became, and then she smashed her handbag at me, maybe even she forgot about herself, the bag was filled with eggs bought in the morning, so my body and bed were stained with a viscous liquid full of fishy smell, and this mistake immediately stimulated my feelings, and yelled: "Why do you always want to arrange my marriage? You can't think about how hard it is for me to live!! I sue you, for so many years, I have lived a very poor life, and I am very unhappy, because I have been dumped, because not a single qiē is what I want."

My mother's love was also completely ignited: "Is it me and your father, it's not what you want, you are now with hard wings and ability, then you don't recognize us as parents." ”

I yelled at Daddy again, "Dad, is this what she said like an elder?" Did you force me not to take this home as a home, so that she was comfortable!! ”

Ban Dad looked at me in disappointment, shook his head and said: "Zhaoyang, the most terrible thing about not protecting you this time is to treat other people's care as an attack on yourself, not to mention that this person is still the mother who gave birth to you." ”

At this moment, I seem to have been abandoned by the whole world, I can't understand my parents, just like they can't understand me, it turns out that behind human nature is really a white cloud and a dog, and even the most reliable family affection is so impermanent, I live in this world, what else can I rely on?

I'm going to collapse in agony! I really didn't expect that Li Xiaoyun's wedding would become a disaster for me!

Daddy took out a car key from his briefcase and said to me, "This is the car you bought for me, you can take it back, we don't need you to compensate us in this way." ”

I'm suffocating, why is my life full of need? Li Xiaoyun doesn't need my gifts, Le Yao doesn't need me to attend her wedding, my parents don't need me to be filial to them, what did I Zhaoyang do wrong, why did my relatives and friends isolate me from their world, they really won't stand in my perspective to see what kind of pain I am suffering?

It turns out that for so many years, I have been walking alone! Walk on a path where there will never be an answer.

I finally wiped off the viscous liquid on my face, took my briefcase from the bedside, and then took out the bank card that was originally prepared for the girl, put it on the bedside cabinet, and said to them: "It's not easy for you to raise me for so many years, I'm a disobedient son, and there is nothing to repay, there are 600,000 in this card, you should compensate or be filial, please accept this family, I don't need to stay any longer, it will make you feel bad!" ”

Her voice was heartbreaking: "Zhaoyang, you are too unconscious, too immature!" ”

"You don't want to force me, I really don't know, how to do it, how to say it, to be considered mature, in order to make you satisfied!" I said as I picked up my briefcase and slammed the door, my sanity completely crumbling at this moment!

This New Year of the Gregorian calendar, I am walking on the streets so lonely, watching the reunion of others, looking at the love of others, and I want to die in pain! So he stood by the moat of the city, smoking cigarette after cigarette.

Facing the wind, my tears fell uncontrollably, I had never been so lonely as I am now, I needed someone to understand me whimpered, took out all the cash from my wallet, and threw it into the moat like a vent I was tearing in a frenzy, hating these banknotes made of desire, it never brought me anything, without it, I lived like a dog, tired of running, but I didn't know that there was an endless road under my feet to rest

I was even more crazy to break all those bank cards that represented wealth in resentment, and finally broke them in the most extreme way, and finally sat on the guardrail and gasped, closed my eyes, and cried

At this moment, I even abandoned myself, because of the crazy act just now, my right to find a hotel in the city to rest was deprived of me, and I was poor and only this soulless body remained, even if I froze to death here, no one would give me a little mercy!

I was a little tired, but the moment I closed my eyes, I saw a familiar figure walking towards me. What appeared in my sight was really her, but I thought it was my hallucination, at this moment, I was just too eager for her to be by my side, how could she appear in Xuzhou? It's impossible, it's not possible at all!