I still can't accept Zhao Jun's passing. The night I woke up, I escaped from the hospital, but it was the day after Zhao Jun died.

I walked aimlessly down the street alone with my suitcase.

When I went to the bus stop again, the blood stains at the station entrance had been cleaned and order was back to normal, as if nothing had happened.

As I stood at the entrance of the station, my mind automatically replaying the scene of my father's murder, and my legs began to tremble unconsciously, and that sense of fear followed.

I hated my father, hated his madness, hated everything about him.

It's just that no matter how much I hate, I can't save Zhao Jun's life.

I went to the ticket office and bought a ticket back to Changchun, and I had to attend Zhao Jun's funeral anyway.

I sat in the waiting hall and pulled out my phone, only to find more than 20 missed calls from my mother.

I stared at my phone screen, not knowing what to do.

At this time, my mother's phone came in again, and I pressed the connect button and heard my mother's crying.

"Unnamed, where are you? Where are you? "My mother's voice was hoarse, and she seemed to have been looking for me for a long time.

"Mom, I'm ??? at the station"

"Weiming, Mom heard about you, your dad is not a person! What about that companion of yours? Is he okay? ”

"Mom, Zhao Jun is dead." When I said this, my tone was extraordinarily calm, so calm that I couldn't believe it.

"Kid ???" The mother continued to sob, as painful as her own son's death.

"Mom, I'm not going back to the countryside, I have to go back to Changchun, I have to go to Zhao Jun's funeral."

"Go ahead! This is what we owe him, and our whole family is sorry for this child! ”

"Mom, don't be sad, Zhao Jun died for me, this favor, I have to return it as a cow and a horse."

"Mom, I'm sorry for you, it's my mom who is not good, and let you have such an inhuman father!"

"Mom, don't be sad, he will be sentenced to death, he is innocent!"

"It's okay, we don't have to suffer his sins in the future." The mother sighed on the other end of the phone, and her tears never broke during the whole call.

I know that she doesn't feel sorry for my father, but I only hate my father.

After hanging up the phone with my mother, I got into the car, still in the window position, still the scenery when I came.

I held my phone, a thin layer of sweat appeared in my palms, I wanted to call Fang Wenke, but I didn't have the courage.

I think he must have known about Zhao Jun, I think he must be complaining about me, even if the two of them have been unhappy because of me, but in the face of family affection, in the face of life and death, the power of love is still weak.

I kept saying words in my heart, but no matter how sincere the words were, they couldn't hide the fact that Zhao Jun died for me.

Fang Wenke, can he forgive me? I asked myself.

Halfway through the drive, Liang Xue sent me a text message, she learned about Zhao Jun from Xiaopang, she said that she and Xiaopang are now on the train, and they are both rushing to Zhao Jun's funeral.

After Liang Xue learned the news, she complained to me a few words, I know that she didn't mean to say me, but she loved Zhao Jun after all, and her pain may not be shallower than mine.

I broke too many people's hearts, I hurt Zhao Jun's life, this time, I may lose a lot of things.

When I arrived in Changchun, I booked two rooms in a hotel near the school, and when Liang Xue and Xiaopang arrived, they could move in directly.

I dropped off my luggage and ran straight to school because my biubiu was still at my dorm aunt.

When I went back to school, the people on campus hadn't been cleared yet, but most of them were people with luggage, coming and going.

I walked along the basketball court to the dormitory building, and when I saw Biubiu eating leaves in the garden downstairs, I ran up and picked up Biubiu.

When my aunt saw me through the window, she came out of it, "You rabbit is so rare!" ”

"Auntie, thank you for helping me take care of Biubiu."

"You're welcome, the cage is next to the pot!" The aunt pointed to the cage in the corner of the small vegetable garden.

I picked up the cage, said goodbye to my aunt, and left the school.

Along the way, there was an endless stream of people coming and going, and my heart fluctuated.

Everywhere on this campus, there is the shadow of Zhao Jun, as well as the memories of me and him.

Those memories are mostly gentle, and for him, most of them are painful.

I rejected him like that, but he tolerated me like that.

Now what he has lost is not only his life, but also his future life.

I felt guilty, so guilty that I couldn't forgive myself.

After walking a few steps and seeing a few landscapes, I finally mustered up the courage, took out my mobile phone, and pressed Fang Wenke's number.

I didn't have time to think about whether it was day or night on his side, and I didn't have time to think about whether he was complaining about me, I just wanted to confide in him, pour out my grief, confide in my faults.

When the phone rang for the first time, it was immediately connected, but Fang Wenke didn't speak, and he was silent over there.

I took my steps and whispered, "Hey???"

"Yes, I'm here." Fang Wenke's voice was clear and sober.

"I'm sorry, you should already know about Zhao Jun???"

"I know." Fang Wenke's voice was desperate, as if someone had uncovered his scars.

"I'm back in Changchun now, and I want to go to Zhao Jun's funeral."

"I'm back too, I just got off the plane this morning, sorry I didn't contact you." Fang Wenke's tone became more and more polite, and an inexplicable estrangement spread between the two of us.

"I understand, I know you must be blaming me."

"I don't blame you, maybe this is my brother's life, although I usually work with him, but he is my brother after all, and I still love him. Unnamed, I'm sorry I can't be honest with you right now, because my heart is really messed up. ”

"I understand."

"You better not come to the funeral, my mother might go crazy if she sees you. I won't be able to contact you anytime soon, can you understand me! ”

"Yes."

"Then let's do it first! I have a lot to do tomorrow, I have to take care of my mom first, she is very depressed right now, I have to comfort her. ”

"Well, you should be busy first!"

“???”

This time, it was Fang Wenke who took the initiative to hang up the phone, which was completely different from his usual appearance.

This small gesture made me understand my current status, he had ideas about me, and the relationship between us was affected.

I was standing on the side of the road with my biubiu in my car, the sun was shining overhead, and the traffic around me was noisy.

But I still couldn't take a step, my legs were stiff like two iron rods, I couldn't lift them, I couldn't push them away.

Biubiu in the cage stuck her head to the top of the cage, and it kept tapping the ring on my ring finger with its little tongue, which was a testimony of my love with Fang Wenke.

There was some irony in this scene, and I picked up the ring on my finger and felt that it seemed to be a little loose.

This sense of disparity is like a thousand arrows piercing my heart, this fact is the same as I expected, I lost Zhao Jun, and I may also lose Fang Wenke.

Even if Fang Wenke may forgive me in the end, this hurdle in his heart will never be overcome.

I'm going to quit eventually, and I know that.

It's just that I'm still going to this funeral, even if it's just standing at the door and watching.

My condolences, I must convey.