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35. Depressed and struggling

It's just that looking back is hopeless, there is a shameless angry reproach in his ears: "What are you doing, you are looking for death, how long have you been lying there, your whole body is so hot, it is obvious that you have a fever and a cold, why are you still lying on such a cold ground, what is wrong with you, Yin Ling, Yin Ling, what are you doing?" Where are you going? Hey......"

There is something free, there is a dream, there is something in the dazzle and flying of memory, there is something of dust and gas hanging in the air, there is pain hanging in the air, it is so quietly in the air, it seems to disappear and disappear in the air, there is something in distress, there is something in distress, there is something in distress, on the shiny marble floor, in the empty air that seems a little dull, where she runs alone and without mistake, She thought she was weak, she thought she was sick. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

But she still had to run, she still ran in the wind, in the wind she ran powerlessly and without mistakes, and she could no longer find anything, she was so difficult to find anything anymore, as if she could no longer find it.

When there is silence, a person has to carry it so much, she will think that even if she is such a person, she will be very strong to carry, but she will still have to wait, but there is something numb there, as if it is paralyzed and numb like freezing, there is a melancholy, it is a wandering scene, as if there is a picture of something floating in the air, something unpredictable, and so unpredictable, where to forget and forget, and then there faintly looking for guard, What kind of smell is flowing in the air, and what kind of strange smell is there.

Suddenly, the pace of running stopped, and something seemed to follow behind her, and there seemed to be something behind her, what was it that followed her so much?

But after turning around, after turning around again, what I still had to find was a cloud of air, it was complete air, it was empty nothingness. There is a void in the air, and there are too many things in the void that cannot be found and cannot be found, but they are not so easy to give up.

It was a dance, like a child's swing, and she hadn't been there like a child for a long time.

She can splash water so unscrupulously, she has to splash and play with water like playing, and he doesn't blame when he sees it, and sometimes even the water splashes on his body, he doesn't have much angry blame, she just sticks out her tongue at him, feels his doting smile, and the feeling of being tolerated and pampered is so happy.

It's like the hearts of all girls, so eager to be spoiled, so eager to grow smaller and smaller, hoping that they can be so stupid and stupid all the time, they can always be so stupid and stupid, and they can always be so ignorant of anything, and they don't care about anything.

Then there is someone who can do something for her again, just have to solve something for her again, and then she can stop worrying and taking care of too many things, she has to desire so much, she has to hope so much, but not a person can get what he wants, what he desires.

The more I look forward to something, the more I am afraid of something, there is something very fearful, as if it is a kind of fear of horror, it is as if the heart is broken somewhere, there is something trembling, there is something helpless trembling, it is still so difficult to approach, it is still so as if it can't be approached, there is a pause, there is nothingness, just non-stop, non-stop gasping.

There he exclaimed, "Yin Ling, you girl, you don't actually have to be like this! You shouldn't be like that! O Soul ......"

She didn't listen and still did whatever she wanted, he was a little angry with her, because she was so obsessed with her own unauthorized behavior and ignored his emotions, what she couldn't control, what she couldn't control would make people angry, it would be so unbearable to be angry.

In fact, what is so distant, so very, very distant, so far away as if it is difficult to reach, as if it is so difficult that it can no longer be touched, what kind of bondage, what kind of difficulty and difficulty it is comfortable, but in that bondage it is ignorant, so confused and dazed, there is something to ask, but it is so difficult to ask in that place not knowing and unknown.

She still wants to look for it so much, keeps searching, she thinks about the time of the doll, she can raise her smile so innocently, she can look up at the sky as she likes, and then she has to hold his arm, she can walk so well by holding his arm, she can hold someone's arm so well, walk together, all the way, even if it is not holding her arm, just holding hands together, holding hands together is also very good.

However, everything is a dream, it is all a fantasy, and everything is impossible.

When the dream is shattered, and she gets angry there, and she gets angry again, just so annoyed and annoyed, can people be so stupid? It's obviously impossible, it's obviously messy nonsense, but it's still so good at deceiving yourself to believe, and it's still so good for everything.

She always deceived herself into thinking that there were too many things to think that she could always do this and that. There will be a lot of things in life that should be taken for granted, thinking that many things will develop according to their own will. In fact, a large number and all of those so-called ideas do not exist, or they only exist in those fantasies, but suddenly they feel a little closer.

It's just that occasionally sometimes, I feel that something is close, something is close, just like the flying bird always feels that she is about to touch the sky, about to touch the blue and vast sky, but in fact she is still so unsearchable, she is so unsearchable to find the touch of the sky, she never knows that she can't touch, just like the flying bird, just chasing, just so non-stop flying, constantly flying, but not stopping, It seems that it cannot be stopped and stopped.

There is something that cannot be explained, there is always something that is so difficult to explain, or there is too much and too much is so difficult to explain, and what is so difficult to explain, what to do, what to do, what to do again, and it seems that some words and words are needed, and it seems that it is not needed, so that in the end, he doesn't seem to know what he is for.

People may be doing something, thinking that there is a reason, there is a direction, but unconsciously, in that sudden, she found that all of a sudden, and suddenly she just felt that she didn't seem to be for anything, she was so unaware of what she was for, she didn't know what she was for, she didn't know what she was for.

When anyone who doesn't know what he is doing resolutely and stubbornly for, what is broken, it is like the pain in the midst of ruin, like a prison cell, a cage of painful restraints, and what kind of bondage, what kind of struggle is bound in that cage, she is like a prison, a tightly grasping the cage and constantly screaming, constantly yelling, and crying.

And his voice echoed coldly in the air: "You big fool, don't cry, you are screaming and crying, very annoying, do you know how annoying you are, how troublesome you are, you girl, I ...... What shall I do with you? ”

"Missed......" she was just so stunned and in a trance, she just repeated the only words in her mouth in a daze, but she muttered unclear words.

- Is she annoying? If he really thinks she's annoying, she'll shut up, she'll be quiet, just hope he's not angry, and that's why he won't be annoyed.

However, maybe sometimes the girl always thinks too much, or thinks too simply, thinking that everything is as simple as she thinks, sometimes, she is also very annoyed, why sometimes she thinks too much, sometimes, she thinks too simply, everything is not as simple as she thinks. So, what will happen to all those ends?

What is going to happen when everything is like that? She was so unclear, so confused, those pictures, those flowering seasons, those times with whom, and what lonely times there were.

One person's loneliness, two people's relationship, more people get along with each other, from the lonely and clean to the hustle and bustle of the crowd, and then from the bustle of the crowd to the loneliness and silence of no one.

A person can live a good life, or he can live a lonely and lonely life. But where is the one who wants to seek, who wants to find it again? And where can it be re-virtualized?

The search is endless, and the search does not want to stop, because in the search, you can find the sky with starry sky in the dark night, the warmth of the sun in the daytime, and the quiet beauty in the lonely person, and in the crowd, you can feel the warmth of the crowd, what is the search, and whose smiling face is looking for there.

Yin Ling used to be a person, she still remembers people's lives, she can still be there without getting angry, not upset, she can smile there, she can do everything she should do there, she can also carry her schoolbag so much, in the sun, bouncing to school, and at that time she was an ordinary primary school student, that is the joy of a very ordinary primary school student, a child who does not understand what loneliness is.

A child's heart is the cleanest and most innocent piece of pure sky in that life, it is a carefree time, in that carefree time, you can feel something beautiful, you can feel it as if every very, very small thing can feel beautiful.

When the mood is good, even if it is a small thing, even if it is a very simple thing, you can become very happy, you can become so surprised and happy, but when something is not going well, there is something confused and chaotic there is still something chaotic like this.

There is something uneasy and chaotic there, there is something confused, and there is something confused. Sometimes, or at some point in that time, the heart will suddenly be confused, and the heart will suddenly be overwhelmed in that place, and it will be a little messy and overwhelmed.

Fighting for something there, constantly fighting for something, as if she was desperate there, as if it was a gamble and struggle of fate, in the life-and-death contest, such a struggle and struggle with time, she would feel that she would lose, and she also believed that she would always be such a person who would lose, so on such a road that would definitely lose, or would definitely die, how should she be so and so deserved, and how could she find it again?

In the pain of that emptiness, a certain painful nerve in life will struggle there, what kind of strange breath of struggle, what kind of unknown pain of struggle, what kind of struggle seems to be not just such a chaotic air, in that struggle, there is something there that slowly begins to age, degenerate, something there slowly retreats, just like this and so has to retreat again.

It's like this, all of a sudden, I feel so heavy, what I have in life starts to become heavier and heavier, and the price to pay for what I have to pay begins to become bigger and bigger.

The load in life is different, and it is not clear what kind of price to pay for what purpose, but as the difficulty continues to increase, the cost of what is there increases, and as time moves, with the degradation of time, as time advances, the cost and difficulty of what there is there begins to increase.

It began to be more and more difficult and increased, but it did not stop, like a little finch on that branch, so that it did not stop singing, what was there was still there and tried not to stop, and there was something that was repeated, and it was repeated in the pain of the struggle of every nerve, but it still did not stop, and there was no reason for the unlistener, when it was dark, the wind was blowing, and the heart was cold.

Beware that the heart is so completely cold, beware that the heart is so completely painful, when the tears really begin to burn, the tears, as if they are not a tear, the tears are as if they are not liquid, and the tears are like flames, like a burning flame, what kind of anger is burning there.

What kind of blazing flame disappeared and steamed with tears, and it was like a freewheeling soul released from the soul, the soul that melted into the body of a bird, seemed to be there asking, "My love, where is the love?" Where is the direction of love? Where does love belong, and if you love, why can't you feel happy? ”

What kind of crying, a whimpering cry, roaring there, like anyone's resentful complaint, "Since you love, try to love, and try to feel the taste of love, and bear any burden and burden of love, a very heavy burden."

But what is it for together? Why is it all about? If you work hard to love, care, and be serious, why are you still so unhappy? Why is it still so impossible to find, and happiness to be found?

The road of happiness seems to be very far, far away, the road of happiness seems to be very difficult to walk, it is difficult to walk, and then, she is so like this that she only has a sigh, she is in such an empty sigh, she has no tears, and the tears seem to be dried up as if her heart is dead.

Beware of tiredness, exhaustion, when a certain heart hidden in the body, suddenly has to feel that the heart of love is dead, it feels like it will not love anymore, it will not love each other anymore, it has a dead heart, as if it is going to die, as if there is something in the air that is choking the neck, it is so hard to choke the neck, and it is painfully strangled to the main point of life. It's as if in the midst of indifference and dead silence, the living flesh is as if it were dead.

What is alive seems to be better than dead, it is like this, it is like this, it is like it is so wrong to exist, it is not right to live, but it is melancholy, and it is so corrupted, there is something that was once simple, and those simple plots seem to no longer exist.

The simple heart, the simple desire to surrender one's own heart, is absent, and those simple and easily deceived hearts seem to not exist.

It's no longer going to be so gullible and deceived, as if you don't believe it all. When my heart began to become indifferent and turned into a shell of indifference to protect myself, I found that the shell that separated me from the outside world not only protected me, but also completely isolated myself, and I was so sad and painful that I finally isolated what little love and pain I had left.

The pain that pierced into the nerves and pierced into every nerve, the memories of memory, like the pain of pins and needles, were pushed away fiercely when they were warm **, and it was not just the warm embrace that was pushed away.

Pushing away is also the oath that once seemed to be a mountain alliance and sea oath, but now it is long gone, and I no longer believe it, something has begun to become indifferent, and when indifference is blocked between people's hearts, there is some pain.

What kind of lamentation and pity slowly permeates it, and it has to take root so slowly, it will be so rooted in pain, it will be so rooted in the pain, it will be so dead and intoxicating, it will be so undirectional, it will be cut off at a certain time, and what will be cut off again, as if it is broken off with distrust.

"It's not that genuinely unbelieving...... I still want to believe, I still have the thoughts and intentions to believe, but there is another fear, another fear......" she trembled and cried there.

"Yin Ling......" He was just opening his arms there, but he was just confused and overwhelmed, and he didn't know what to do with her in front of him.

"Disappointed, you say, what should I do? What to do? What are we supposed to do? "The girl cried, the girl twitched, the girl cried uncontrollably for a long time.

Sobbing helplessly and crying, she was so sad and sad that she wanted to drill into his arms, constantly and constantly drilling into his arms, because of sadness, because of pain, she wanted to drill into that arms, wanted to drill into that warm arms, she just wanted to feel his warmth with tears streaming down her face, but there was something that she had to throw into her arms and couldn't feel the warmth.

It was like a woman's sorrow, as if the wine shop was forever sad and sad, it was a warmth that could not be obtained by throwing into an embrace, as if it could never be warm.

Sometimes, the distance of the mind may never be replaced by the distance of the body. No matter how close it is, it can be very far away. That's the end of the earth at hand.