30 How can this be?

Since stepping on this land, you can't leave, you can't move your steps backwards, go back. The pen & fun & pavilion www.biquge.info is so dazzling, so confused that I can't see anything clearly, I can't see anything clearly, I just don't know why.

I just don't know the reason, and the wound, the pain, is still there for a while, the pain that doesn't stop, the pain that doesn't stop endlessly, and I will look at someone's smile in that trance, hurt, hurt, sad, and feel as if I have forgotten myself.

Dream-like scenes, dream-like apparitions and hallucinations, dream-like people, where, as if in front of him, when he reached out and touched, but her hand had completely passed through him, her hand through his body?

Still air, hallucinations, stunned, blinking, looking closely, no, indeed nothing.

It's so hard to breathe, it's so painful, it's so overwhelming, it's so frightened, it's so unknown, it's like a young child, shivering in the cold corner, shivering, scared, and ...... Fearful......

The pain of the heart is from one organ in the body, or all the organs are linked to the convulsions of pain and pain, and she, the spirit of the white fox, can only endure it slowly, silently, silently, silently. You can forget something, and it seems that you can't forget something, only to see the clouds and smoke floating in the air, and in the depths of the clouds, there is a ...... Kite.

It was an ordinary butterfly kite, but it was flying and swimming so freely.

Once upon a time, the blue-haired man looked at the blue sky and smiled at her and said, "Look, how high and how well it flies, Ling?" What happened to you? ”

The pain, the deep pain penetrated into the heart, the pain made her faint suddenly, for a long time, she had to wake up again, but she woke up in a frozen ice cave, she trembled, she trembled, she panicked and said: "Miss, fail, where are you?" Where is it? I'm so scared, so scared......"

The whole cold world echoed her lonely and shivering voice for a long time. What kind of loneliness there is, what kind of difficulty and confusion there is, what kind of pain and pain will there be again, what kind of forgetfulness will there be, so that the mind of memory is blank, and let the place of forgetfulness disappear forever and forever.

Wouldn't it be nice if the painful memories could disappear? But the painful memories are just the opposite, very clear and very deep imprinted in the mind.

There is a jump, a jumping picture, or air, or land, or your own heart, just there for a moment, there is such a whirling feeling.

has such loneliness, so lonely feelings, but it is so difficult to give up, difficult to avoid, difficult to confide, it is impossible to confide feelings and moods, it is so shaky, so trembling, but I have only found out.

can only endure silently, in the endurance, nostalgic for whose eyes, whose sincerity, whose warmth, whose care, and...... Whose coldness, that cruel coldness, will freeze the coldness and sadness of crying in the heart.

What is lost is as if it will be so and so that it will disappear forever, and it will disappear forever. Goodbye, to say goodbye to him. But she is a crying child, she seems to only cry, and the world is left to her as if she is only cold except crying.

"Yinling, do you still want to become a human?" Li Xianxian's voice sounded in her ears again and again above her head.

"I don't know, I really don't know." The white fox's soul was at a loss and shook his head in confusion, but it was so broken, and there was a broken sound in his heart.

"Yinling, there will be some cruelty in this world, that cruelty and indifference, which you can't refuse or avoid." Whose voice is that, whose answer is that.

She looked up gently, but found that she was still so white that she could not see anything, and she could not find anything. She just cried and continued to cry.

"What if you're blind from crying?" Whose heart is distressed, whose pity is that, before her heart has recovered from trembling and moving, the warm lips kissed her eyes, kissed her eyes, kissed the tears on her cheeks, Wen Cun said, "Girl, be strong, no matter what happens, no matter what everything will become, girl, be strong, learn to be strong." ”

"Falling ...... the Void" woman cried, and the woman in the blue-haired man's arms was weak and sobbing silently, tears like beads, as if she couldn't stop it.

"Don't cry, okay?" He stretched out his hand to wipe away her tears, but she stretched out her hands to hold his hand, he was stunned, and said, "Spirit ......"

"Don't go...... Don't go ......," said the woman in her arms, trembling as if she couldn't breathe, "could it be like this?" Will separation really be inevitable? ”

Does this always happen in life? When you love someone, you can't wait for anyone's love, when the love stops or is tired, or disappears, the love that was originally sleeping is belatedly obtained, but it is late. And even if you really meet the person you love and love yourself, it is a passing time, fleeting, and then, it is an empty melancholy end.

How cruel, how real, how inescapable of such a reality. It's not that the wound itself wants to be opened, it's just that the body unintentionally ruptures the wound during the movement, and the pain deepens, it will be a pain, and what kind of unavoidable pain it will be, dodging, constantly dodging, hiding in his arms, hiding, wanting to get warmth, but unexpectedly still getting a piece of cold, a piece of cold and frozen heart.

What kind of melancholy is it, but step by step there is no choice to move forward, moving forward.

"Yinling, do you know why that bell rings?" It was his childish voice when he was a child, and the bell waving in his hand was ringing: "Jingle bell, jingle bell......"

She replied without much thought: "Doesn't the bell ring by itself?" "Is the spirit stupid, or is it true ignorance and ignorance?

Or does she think it's her own knowledge? There will always be some things where the boundaries are not clear enough, the boundaries are not clear enough, and they are not clear enough, what kind of escape is that, and what kind of panic and loneliness are there.

Retreating, trembling, but it was touching a wall, a cold strong, as if someone was saying: "You can't retreat, you can't retreat, you have no way out, there is no way back." ”

Will something become real again, or something real will have to decay again, and in that decay, she can't find herself, she can't find herself, and she has to look up silently.

Sitting on the roof of the house, she sat on the roof alone, she squatted on the ground, her hands against her chin, she just looked into the distance so quietly, looking at the distant sky, the original blue sky, gradually turning red, sunset, red sunset, the sun began to set, is the sun going down again? Is the sun going to set in the west again?

The time and glow of the sunset, the time and the haze that disappeared, in the vanishing piece, nothing could be.

He just had to stare into her eyes one day, one day in his memory, and say, "That's so impossible." Spirits, really, all impossible, all untrustworthy, Spirits, don't believe it, don't believe anyone, including everyone, including ...... Me, okay? Yinling, be smart, write with bright eyes, and be smart with your head, okay? Yin Ling, you stupid girl, you are always so pitiful, heart-wrenching, and helpless to deal with you. ”

"What" She was so stunned that she couldn't hear anything clearly, and when she didn't particularly understand and wanted to look up and ask, she found that there was a blank space in front of her and around her, an empty piece of air, and she remembered that she had another delusion, or, it was just a memory, that was just the past, and the time and memories that could never be returned again, would suddenly, in that moment, in the blink of an eye, everything was pierced straight down by a sword, all gone, all shadows, all the fragments that were no longer left were gone.

"Believe him? If, believe him, let him go, let him go without hesitation. "What kind of sound is this, and what kind of decay is swirling in the silent air.

Letting go, it seems so easy, and it seems so difficult, she feels that she can't do it so much, can't let go so easily, can't say forgiveness so easily, forgiveness, it seems so difficult, it's so difficult to do.

She shook her head. Confused and struggling, he shook his head, and he was at a loss to wander away in a trance and lose his mind. What has been lost is the smoke and clouds, the traces of people have been lost, the beauty of the past has been lost, and there always seems to be so much that has passed, there are always so many that are difficult to change, so many that are difficult to change by a lonely woman.

One day later, when she came to the nunnery with heavy steps, she looked at the pair of gates, the doors stained with red paint, and she wanted to reach out and push them open, but after a long time, she thought about it again and again, or just clasped a pair of iron buckles on the door.

Suddenly, one by one, the sound was snapped, and just like that, the door was opened, and two nuns dressed in monk's robes came out. After listening to the staccato and chaotic words of the chanting, they only nodded, and one of them said, "Then please come in." ”

She followed them in, and she had to go into a world that was completely different from her life, and she had to go to a world where she didn't quite know whether she was supposed to go in. It's just that she thinks that her life needs to be changed, but she doesn't know that her world and life have to be changed like this.

"Will it be a good change or a bad change? Will it be a change that will satisfy her? Or will she regret the change for the rest of her life? What kind of words and questions were there, but they only drifted to her ears like a passing cloud, and they came and went, and they didn't remember anything anymore.

"If you become a nun and become a nun, you will cut off the red dust, are you really ready to make this determination?" The master nun asked earnestly.

Yin Ling was still a little confused and dizzy, she didn't seem to know very well, how she came here again, she just knew that life was very painful, there were too many things in real life that she wanted to escape, what she wanted to avoid, what she felt difficult to face.

His anger, his abandonment, his betrayal...... Still, it's not betrayal, it's just indifference, or ...... It's just a bit of his exploitation, or is everything just her naivety, or her stupidity, or her clumsiness, or her ignorance.

The day he left, the night, she cried, she cried so badly, she cried so loudly, she came to a no-man's place and let her go and cried, and then, so angry with herself, she felt that she was so wretched, so annoying, so idiot, so sluggish.

If she could have known the result earlier, if she could have known what was impossible, if she could have known his heart earlier, she could have known his personality earlier.

If she could have known sooner...... Knowing where he was going, knowing his choice earlier, knowing earlier that he would never choose his own, he would never choose himself to be a companion by his side......

If she had understood earlier, she wouldn't have been so stunned, she wouldn't have stayed by his side for a long time with wishful thinking, laughing and rejoicing, and the stupid person could be happy for herself, but she didn't realize that she was just deceived.

The dancing candles and incense in the temple were lit and floating, Yin Ling just looked at the nun master and nodded seriously: "Master, I have thought about it, I want to become a monk, really, master, I have considered it seriously, please shave the master." ”

In fact, it was not her idea to shave, he still told him to go, and in his ridicule, when she was trembling and still tugging at the corner of his clothes, he was so bored, he said so sneeringly: "You, a cheap woman like you who only sticks to men, should go to the nunnery to be cleaner." ”

Is it surprise, panic, anger, or bewilderment? It's more of an emptiness, a sadness that is difficult to express, she never thought that she used to care so much about him, so much about him.

It will be so strange, and it will be so suddenly strange, like a stranger, like everything does not exist, and his familiar and strange eyes, that indifferent eyes.

It was she who couldn't look at it, it was a stranger, that he, that Ye Luokong, as if it was him she didn't know, she had never seen him so cold, so indifferent, so refusal. His indifferent eyes and resolute back left so quickly.

And that one departure is also an eternal departure. Encounter, acquaintance and separation, as if it were a parabola, from nothing to nothing, and then from existence to nothing, in the end everything is still a nothingness that does not exist.

It's like climbing a hill, so hard to climb to the top of the mountain, but it is not until the end that you find that you have climbed so hard, climbed so high, and finally you will fall, and you will still fall down.

The higher you climb, the worse you fall. The more you care about it in the past, the more you will become more and more hurt and confused in the future...... Or...... Resentment. She didn't particularly know if she would resent him.

Will you resent a betrayal, will you resent a separation and separation, will you resent an insincere exchange and explanation?

She only knew that she had been sad and hurt. However, she still couldn't resent. The dark flame of hatred still struggles to burn.

In this world, people's hearts are originally empty, and when people walk a life journey in this world, their original complete heart will be broken, and it will be so little by little that the wounds and cracks will be opened, every time it is broken, every time it leaves, it is the destruction and injury of the soul.

But...... Who can tell...... These injuries may not make a fragile and small mind gradually grow up and mature.