Chapter 52: The Letter of Confession

As the saying goes, 'Good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles.'" Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info’

It didn't take long for Lu Ranran to hear from other people's mouths about Zeng Xunque and Quan Yunzhen's quarrel. As Zeng Xunque's girlfriend and Quan Yunzhen's friend, of course she doesn't want to see their relationship so stiff. Especially seeing Zeng Xunque's 180-degree transformation, this situation made her unable to adapt. And Zeng Xunque's mood is low these days, which makes her deeply worried.

So she decided to have a good talk with Zeng Xunque about this no matter what.

"I already know about your quarrel with Quan Yunzhen." Lu Ranran looked at Zeng Xunque's eyes and said.

Zeng Xunque was silent for a moment, and said seriously, "I don't want to talk about this matter. ”

"Why? Didn't you ever have such a good relationship? He used to help you so much, how did you..."

"Enough!" Zeng Xunque interrupted her without reservation, "Do you even want to speak for him?" Do you think I owe him and want me to pay it back? ”

"Xunque... I... I didn't mean that..."Lu Ranran defended aggrievedly, Zeng Xunque's angry appearance made her a little scared.

Zeng Xunque saw Lu Ranran's fear of herself, and also realized that her attitude was too radical, so she eased up a lot and said gently, "Ranran, I'm sorry, I spoke a little too much." But I don't want you to be on his side too. ”

"I'm not on his side, I'm just wondering why you're suddenly so stiff with him, there must be a reason for that."

"For no reason. Ranran, didn't you like me to be very close to him before, and you should be happy that I broke off relations with him now! ”

This sentence directly poked at the complex emotions in Lu Ranran's heart, she did have such radical thoughts because of her humility before, but now seeing the breakdown of the friendship between these two people, the pity in her heart has long surpassed the radical feeling.

"I... I admit that I used to have low self-esteem, and I had such radical thoughts, but now, I don't want to see you so unhappy than that inferiority complex. Lu Ranran said.

"I'm not unhappy!" Zeng Xunque said with a smile.

Lu Ranran saw his fake smile again, and said sadly, "Liar, you are not happy at all, you have been sullen for so many days." You're just sullen because of what happened to Quan Yunzhen. ”

"I didn't!" Zeng Xunque explained palely.

Lu Ranran took his hand and said earnestly, "Xunque, I know you're sad now. But is there something in your heart that you can't tell us? How uncomfortable you are in your heart! ”

Zeng Xunque shook his head in disappointment, pushed away Lu Ranran's hand, and said, "Why?" Why are you like that? Why do you even have to help Quan Yunzhen speak, is he so good? ”

"I'm not helping him, I just want you to face your inner thoughts so that we can help you!" Lu Ranran explained aggrievedly.

"Enough! I'm your boyfriend! Shouldn't you help me? ”

Zeng Xunque's current overzealous appearance made Lu Ranran feel helpless, and now he treats everything he says as a defense for Quan Yunzhen, so many suspicious looks make Lu Ranran extremely disappointed.

"Xunque... I think you should calm down..."

Zeng Xunque sneered, "Very good, I'll be calm." I guess you'd better not come to me these days, and I think we're all going to have to reflect on it. ”

"Huh? Xunque... I didn't mean that..."Lu Ranran defended herself aggrievedly, but Zeng Xunque didn't intend to listen to her at all, left her where she was, turned around and left. Looking at his back, Lu Ranran's eyes blurred......

——————

Zeng Xunque returned home alone and closed the door of the house. At a glance, the furnishings in the room are so familiar, the familiar coffee table, the familiar dining table, the familiar kitchen, and the familiar old sofa...

It's just that all these decorations now seem to be so painful in his eyes. How much laughter and laughter there used to be in the room, how heavy and sad it is now.

Sitting on the couch, staring straight at the fluorescent tube on the ceiling, the dazzling light burned my eyes a little. He slowly closed his eyes, and everything he had done these days came to mind.

He quarreled with Quan Yunzhen, and said so many ugly and unconscionable words, he was already extremely resentful of himself in his heart. Moreover, he said such ugly things to Ranran, who loved him deeply, today, and his heart hurt too.

He just wants to hide the hidden character flaws in his heart forever. So he became like a trapped beast, so he made a powerful appearance, so that those who tried to open their hearts avoided him.

However, now that they had avoided him, he was not at all at ease. It seems that the bearing in my heart has reached a limit, and the emotions that have been suppressed in my heart for a long time can't wait to be vented immediately. In his heart, he wished that there was someone who could listen to him.

He thought of the past, when he was young, he would always talk to his father about his emotions. At that time, I would have a long talk with my father about anything. But when I grew up, I changed, I became a person who buried my thoughts, didn't want others to find out, locked myself in a narrow corner, and pretended to be fine. It's just that after a long time, things have accumulated a lot, and I can't pretend to be like myself.

Disheartened, he thought of his father who was far away, and before he knew it, he hadn't written to him for a long time.

Spread out a piece of white letterhead, lift the pen, and the words in my heart bubble out like a spring:

"Dad:

I haven't seen it for a long time, and I miss it very much. It's been five months since the last time I said goodbye on the phone. I don't know if you're okay from afar? I know you must have been too busy with work to write to me.

I miss you so much, I want to see you, I miss when we used to be together. At that time, I was always very happy, even if the family didn't have any money, I was very happy because I had my father. Dad has overcome all vanity.

Maybe you think I'm too naïve. Indeed, I don't know why I'm still clinging to my dad when I'm so old now. Maybe I'm really naïve and don't grow up.

I don't mean to blame you when I say this, I know your difficulties, you left me for the sake of my future. I just miss you a little, and I miss the home that used to be full of laughter.

Ay... I won't say much about these sad words. I have good news for you, and that is that I finally got a scholarship. It's not a lot of money, but it's the first money I've made for this family. I know you're going to be relieved, it's what you've always wanted to see, isn't it? Now that I've finally done it, I really want to share this joy with you, so that you can also show off to your co-workers, and your son is finally angry.

It's just that... This scholarship came a little bitterly, thanks to Quan Yunzhen's help. If it weren't for him, the principal would have awarded the scholarship to his nephew for personal gain. In order to help me get this scholarship, Quan Yunzhen openly confronted the principal, and took risks to find evidence for me. I'm really grateful to him, everything he did for me was so crucial.

Because of his appearance, my originally lost life became cheerful;

Because of his appearance, I saw that life is full of that sense of justice;

Because of his appearance, I have learned a lot of great principles in life;

Because of his appearance, I realized how failed I was...

He fought with others for me, but I hurt him and was hospitalized. It's actually ridiculous to think about it, I've always brought him bad luck, and yet he still wants to be friends with me.

But how can I have a friend like me? has been asking others to help him, but he can't help him, and he has been hurting all the time. I feel guilty, and that guilt torments me every day. During the time he was hospitalized, I felt very uncomfortable. That was the first time I experienced the feeling of watching someone I cherished fall in front of me and I couldn't do anything about it. I really hate myself, I hate myself for being so incompetent. How I wish it was me who fell...

This incident made me realize that the gap between me and him is so big that I can't cross it.

Everything is good in him, everything is good. And he was so good to me that I didn't even know why he did this to me.

I was scared, I was afraid that if I continued to spend time with him, he would be hurt more and I would become more guilty. I didn't want to continue to feel guilty about myself, and I didn't want to see someone hurt for me, so I decided to cut ties with him. I know that if I do this, it will be a great disservice to him and to me. However, I'd rather cut it like this, even if he hates me. Even if he scolds me for being ungrateful, I don't know what to do, and I don't have a conscience.

I thought I could handle it myself. But now my heart hurts. Seeing my friends around me start to have a bad feeling for me one by one, I really feel bad, and I don't want to lose them. But I... There is no way. The guilt in my heart was so strong that it slowly evolved into a guilt that tormented my heart. I feel like I've fallen into a dilemma and I don't know what I'm going to do?

If you were here, I'm sure you'd enlighten me.

However, I don't know if you have time to read such a wordy letter I wrote. I've never said these things before, so I'll just think of them as a kind of outpouring. In this way, it may feel a little better to say it.

Son, respectfully."

Zeng Xunque put down the pen in his hand, tilted his head, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. When I finally said these words, my heart seemed to feel much more comfortable for a moment.

He doesn't know what the future holds, he just hopes that tomorrow may be better than today, right?