Chapter 147: Impulsiveness
He uttered those words, and spoke the feelings that had been rooted in his heart a long time ago, but were later vaguely obscured by something inexplicable, and it was not until a short time ago that he regained his words. Writing "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info perhaps because he was still a little nervous, his voice unconsciously increased a little when he spoke, so after the words, the aftermath of the words still echoed in the living room.
He finally said this sentence that had been accumulated in his heart since he woke up, teasing his mood from time to time, which made Zhang Zhou unconsciously relieved. After saying those words, the pressure that had filled his heart and made him a little breathless was instantly relaxed, and all the tension was relieved. He took a small breath, raised his eyes to look at Li Ai, and saw that she was still looking out the window with her head tilted, and there couldn't help but have a trace of indescribable unease in her eyes.
But this trace of uneasiness did not last long, and was left behind by him. I like her, she likes herself, and she likes herself, two people who are also lonely and will not have anyone to intervene, and this matter is also a matter of mutual affection, where does the variable come from? If she doesn't turn her head, she should just be shy, right? He thought like this, but An An sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Li Ai to take the initiative to turn his head, waiting for her to give a positive response.
But he didn't notice that she was clutching the quilt, and even the palm clenched into a fist was weakly released when he said that sentence. And on the face covered by loose hair, despair and desolation encroached on everything, and even her beautiful eyes were full of defeat.
She bit her lip unconsciously, and her gaze, which was focused on the shadows of the tall buildings, quietly lost focus, leaving only a numb blank. Something spilled out of those grey eyes and slid down his cheeks. The loose hair covered everything, so that Zhang Zhou, who was waiting quietly, could not see half of the clues. He thought she was shy, but how could he have thought that now she was biting her lip and silently shedding tears?
Despair and desolation filled her pretty face, while pain and struggle permeated her chest, and she was mired in the mire, not knowing where to go. She had wondered what she would do if everything turned out like this. But she didn't think about it deeply, but pressed this difficult question to the bottom of her heart and left it for later thought. But how did she know that that would come so quickly in the future?
At that time, she tried to devote all her thoughts to unraveling the meaning of the words left by Moyin Bao'er, wanting to think and choose again after helping Zhang Zhou get rid of that fate. She thought there was still time, because he was so sluggish at that time...... Nothing she was aware of. But everything was like a wild horse that had escaped from her control.
He suddenly became no longer sluggish. It's like a different person, not only feeling the feelings and intentions she suppressed in her heart, but even taking the initiative to sit in front of her, saying the words that she secretly looked forward to in her heart, but tried her best to avoid it, and didn't want to touch it too soon.
Overnight, everything changed. Li Ai couldn't understand why everything had changed like this just after a rainy night and a short sleep. She was a little confused, and suddenly there was a little resentment towards Mo Yin Bao'er in her heart. If she hadn't untied those shackles, how could Zhang Zhou have remembered those things, and how could everything have become like this. However, this trace of resentment was torn apart by her in an instant.
How can you blame her? How could she know the pain and uneasiness in her heart? Moreover, where did he come from to resent her? After all, didn't she do this to help herself achieve the goal of freeing Zhang Zhou from the fate of death?
However, no matter what, those questions that originally wanted to be put aside and avoided and wanted to be left for later thought about were suddenly poked out. It's so unexpected, and it's so difficult to choose...... But, in any case, it all came to the point where the choice had to be made.
What should she do? Li Ai bit her lower lip tightly, and her pretty face, which was already suffering from illness, was even more pale. Faced with this sudden confession at the wrong time, in the wrong place, in the wrong scene, what should she do?
Do you want to say yes? Ignore the lie for a while, just agree to it, let yourself get what you want, and then wait for him to tell him the truth later? Or do you treat the lie of the past as a secret and bury it in your heart forever, just like that, nothing has happened, and enjoy the peace of mind?
But can you really feel at ease? Can you really not care? Founded on lies and deception, as beautiful and illusory as the moon in the mirror, the love that will be broken at any time, is it really what you want?
So, do you want to say no? Reject his unsolicited confession? But can you really do it yourself? In such a situation, can you really open your mouth and say no words?
Promised? Refusal? Two opposing choices are on either side, waiting for her to choose. She vacillated between these two options, trying to make a choice. But in the end, she stayed where she was, not taking a step to either side. Because she found that whether she chooses to agree or choose to refuse, everything will have essential and irreversible changes in an instant. or choose a lie, walk on the abyss of thin ice from now on, and wait anxiously for the East Window incident to happen at some point; Either it will collapse and collapse directly, and eventually shatter into irreparable regrets.
Whichever side you choose, it's a bad ending. It's not a promise, it's not a refusal, so what should you do? Li Ai bit her lower lip tightly and thought hard. Gradually, her tear-blurred vision recondensed, still frozen in the shadows of the high-rise buildings outlined by the sun, still full of heartbreaking sadness and despair. It's just that in the eyes staring at the shadows, a faint glimmer of hope sprouted slightly.
At this time, Zhang Zhou, who had been waiting for a while, finally noticed that something was wrong. I've been waiting for no less than ten minutes, and Li Ai should be ...... no matter how shy he is You should have reacted too, right? Could it be that something really happened? He frowned, and his heart instantly lifted. After thinking about it silently, I decided to take the initiative again. So, he called her name out loud, wanting to ask her mind, "Li Ai? ”
Hearing his voice, Li Ai's shoulders shook, and the long hair that fell was shaken and scattered under this tremble, revealing her smooth and jade-like chin.
Is that...... What the? Zhang Zhou was stunned, but he didn't react for a while. Don't...... Could it be...... Tear? Thinking of this, Zhang Zhou's pupils instantly constricted, he pulled her shoulders like crazy, and said urgently, "Li Ai, what's wrong with you?" Why cry...... Am I doing something wrong? ”
His eyes were full of apprehension, and there was no longer the calmness and calm of not long ago. He didn't know why she was crying, he just thought he had done something wrong. And when he saw the tears on her face, his heart tightened, but he began to wonder if she was unwilling to accept her confession.
Perhaps, from the beginning, I misunderstood what she meant; Perhaps, the act of holding it that she once showed actually had another meaning; Perhaps, I woke up too late...... He thought wildly, and the sparkling hope in his eyes dimmed in an instant, degenerating into a distressing gloom. For a moment, he thought of Wang Yue, who had confessed to Li Ai, and even more of the figures who had surrounded her when she first entered school......
But he was not willing to retreat like this. He didn't hear her refusal with his own mouth, didn't open his mouth to ask her what she wanted, how could he, how could he be willing to just step away from her side and give her up? He can't do it! So, even though he felt bad, even though he thought he might get a terrible answer, he asked, "You...... Don't want to? ”
The tearful person in front of "......" was suffocated, but he slowly closed his eyes. Seeing her make such a move, the light in Zhang Zhou's eyes became even more dim, his lips trembled, and he slowly lowered his eyes. Answer...... It's already clear, isn't it? Zhang Zhou smiled miserably, very self-deprecating.
You guy, you put on a confident look and see through everything, but in the end, everything is not what you see and guess...... Really...... Self-inflicted. He laughed at himself like this, but he opened his lips with difficulty and whispered in a somewhat hoarse voice, "Is that so? I...... I see. ”
The last three words seemed to weigh more than a thousand pounds, and every word he spit out was so difficult, and it made his heart ache so much. Only then did he suddenly understand what it meant to be heart-rending and what it meant to have broken liver and intestines, it turned out to be ...... That's what it's like to be out of love......
"Zhang Zhou," he thought like this, but suddenly heard Li Ai in front of him call out his name in a trembling voice. He couldn't help but lift his eyes, and looked at her with a bit of hope.
The hope in those eyes stabbed Li Ai's heart, and the words that originally came to her mouth were blocked, leaving only the dry two words muttered and repeated, from crying to gradually returning to hardship, and finally disappeared into invisibility, "If ......" she said, "If ......" she repeated, "If ......" she said silently, but in the end there was no if.
And the hope in Zhang Zhou's eyes also dimmed with the gradual weakening of these two words, and finally came to the verge of collapse. He looked so fragile that Li Ai's originally organized language was blocked back, and he couldn't speak it anymore. He was already on the verge of collapse, how could she ......
Looking at Zhang Zhou, who seemed to have been drained of his spirit in an instant, Li Ai bit his lip, and under impulse, he suddenly spoke, "I am willing to ......" she said, "Zhang Zhou...... I do. ”