It's been raining all the time today, and the gray sky just reflects my gray mood. I sat in the car back to my hometown www.biquge.info but I didn't have the excitement I had before, and today I was buried for my father. I sat by the window of the car, holding the sandalwood box containing his ashes in my arms, and I couldn't even speak except for silent tears. I know that according to the rules of my hometown, you are not allowed to cry on the day of the burial of your loved ones, because this will make the person who leaves unsteady, unable to let go, and unable to give up, and the soul of the deceased will not be reincarnated with peace of mind. Although I knew it in my heart, when I really experienced this lesson, I couldn't control my emotions as well as I imagined. Even at that moment, there was a selfish feeling of not wanting his soul to leave and wanting him to continue to be company. The relatives around me also understood me, so they didn't blame me, and let me wipe my tears by leaning against the car window with the small sandalwood box in my arms.

My father, who had died in the hospital due to illness, reached out to me before leaving, as if he wanted me to grab him and pull him back from the clutches of death. That scene, even after his death, I could see it very clearly in my memories when I closed my eyes. But there was nothing I could do, I grabbed his hand, and I still couldn't stop Death from taking him away from me.

Seeing my father, who struggled to go to the window to smoke the night before, left me forever, even if the doctor had countless cardiopulmonary resuscitations, he could not pull him back from death, I felt powerless for the first time, I stood beside my father, and my body trembled uncontrollably. A few minutes later, the doctor shook my head, said there was nothing I could do, and announced my father's death to me. I couldn't hear what he said afterward, and at that moment, I couldn't hold back the tears that were falling. I didn't accept his death as calmly as I had promised my father, and I covered my mouth but couldn't suppress the crying in the hospital room. After calming down a bit, I informed my other relatives, and everyone rushed over one after another after receiving the news. I was told not to cry, but I couldn't hold back. The nurse came and reminded me to do the final cleaning for my father, and then I had to put on my shroud and take him on his last journey.

After the nurses had done their routine, I did the final cleanup on my own, and I helped my father with one last scrub. This is the space left for us by all of us individually, for me to officially say a separate goodbye to him. I finished the final cleaning with tears, kissed him on the left and right cheeks as I did when I was a child, and said my final goodbye. I believe that his soul is still in this ward, so I hooked his little finger and made one last promise with him, in the next life, he will definitely be reincarnated as his child, so I hope that he will still be able to meet my birth subconsciously. I'm sure his soul must have heard this promise.

After that, I informed his friends, and everyone hurried to see him one last time. The funeral home came, and as the hearse drove towards the crematorium, the mortuary threw a few coins at each intersection. The moment I watched my father be wheeled into the crematorium and the door closed, I knew that the man who loved me the most in the world would never return to me. I can no longer hear his criticism or encouragement, go to the market with him to buy my favorite shiitake mushrooms, taste the specialty dishes he made for me, hear the stories he told me, and never see him laugh again. We'll never see each other again.

"He doesn't like you to be so sad, he'll be gone." On the way home, my mother's comfort came out again, and my mother seemed to be startled by me, looked at me, and said no more, leaving me alone in the living room. The moment she returned to her room, I heard her whisper, "Cry out, cry out all your sadness, after all, he will never come back." I know how sad you are because I've been through the same thing. However, life has to go on, and after crying, live well. When my mother left, I said to myself, 'Although she can't come back, you can still take the half of the blood she left for you and go on with your life.' 'Mozhi, you have half of your father's blood in you, and in you, he is still alive. After leaving these words, the mother went back to her room. Soon I heard her lying on the bed, and I knew she must be crying too. I know that in addition to feeling sorry for her father, she must also think of her mother, who had just passed away, and this kind of touching scene is even more sad.

My father was buried three days after he died, and on the day I went to pick up the urn, I found that I was not the only one with swollen eyes, and my sister laughed at me for having eyes like peaches, but I found that she was not much better than me. We have all lost loved ones, and we are all equally sad.

After the burial, in order to thank the relatives of the hometown who helped, I stayed and had lunch together, I suppressed the tears that I wanted to gush out again, and ate in a daze, thanked the relatives who helped, and when I returned home, it was already more than eight o'clock in the evening, and many things had to be dealt with the next day. When I went home, I probably finished sorting out some of the formalities that needed to be done, and it was already early in the morning.

Because he was too sad, he fell asleep in chaos, but he also became awake early. With the information I had prepared before, I was ready to go back to the hospital to go through the discharge procedures, and I wanted to go back to the ward where my father used to live again. When my father's patients saw me, they all comforted me and told me not to be too sad. Nodding his head and thanking the others for their kindness, he found that his father's previous hospital bed was still empty. The patient said that a new patient would come over this afternoon. There was no longer a father's breath here, and there was no point in me staying to see more, so I politely exchanged a few words of greeting and prepared to leave. As I was about to descend the stairs, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, and a familiar voice came into my ears: "Please wait a minute. ”

When I looked back, I saw a familiar face, the caretaker of another patient in my father's ward. I looked at him with some confusion, wondering why he stopped me. Seeing my puzzled expression, the man hesitated, then motioned for me to go to a quieter corner and handed me a note: "On the afternoon after your father left, a young girl came to me and asked me to give you her contact information, saying that she had something urgent to contact you. It seems to have something to do with your father. When he said the last sentence, an embarrassed look appeared on his face, and if he wanted to say it, it seemed that he was afraid of irritating the sore spot in my heart.

Something in a hurry? I took the note suspiciously: "Thank you, but is there anything else the lady said?" I tried to keep my tone as calm as possible, but I still found an irrepressible trill in my tone, and I still couldn't calm down when it touched on the topic.

The nurse uncle shook his head regretfully: "I'm sorry, she didn't say anything to me, just said that you will definitely come back to see the ward where your father lived before his death, and if I meet you, I will hand you the note, and when you contact her, you will naturally know what is going on." An awkward look appeared on the nurse's uncle's face, he hesitated for a few seconds, but still said the words, "I used to suspect that she was the one who wanted to fight you for the family property, you should know what I was referring to." The uncle gave me an uncertain look, and when he saw that I frowned, he immediately continued, "I advise her not to rub salt into your wounds at this time. But she dismissed my speculation. She said that I misunderstood her thoughts, she has nothing to do with your family, but there is something about your father that needs to be told to you, this matter is very important to your father, but this matter has nothing to do with your family or property. So I took the note, waited for you to come back, and gave you her contact information when I saw you, as the girl had requested. I think maybe your father really has some things to explain to you, after all, although his departure is also expected, but it is also a little sudden, he must have something unfinished, maybe this mysterious girl who left her contact information will really help you. Hopefully, you don't think Uncle is meddling. After all, living in the world alone, you have been exposed to far more things than you think. Okay, it's time for me to go back, the contact information has been given to you, and it's up to you to decide whether you want to contact her or not. As if trying to escape from this embarrassment, the uncle quickly left, leaving me alone, looking at the unfamiliar 11 numbers on the note. At the time, I didn't even realize that because of these 11 numbers, I was going to embark on a thrilling adventure that I had never imagined. But now I'm still wrenched in the grief of losing my father.

When I came to my senses, the figure of the nurse uncle was about to disappear from my sight, and I thanked me again, but the voice was a little loud, attracting many people's side eyes. The head nurse gave me an angry look and signaled that I was in the hospital. I blushed and apologized, and walked briskly out of the place I had ever known best in the hospital.

After completing the final formalities, I didn't want to go home, I couldn't face the home without my father, but I couldn't rest assured that I was left at home alone, I wanted to find a time to delay going home, and in the end I didn't want to go home, wandering around aimlessly, looking at the food familiar to the family, and finally rushing home. The taxi stopped at the entrance of the community, and the path to my home was just a few hundred meters away, but it was unusually long for me now, and I couldn't even lift my legs. Wandering to the door of the unit, I think that during this time, going home will be an extremely difficult thing for me.