My name is Tang Seng, Tang of the Tang Dynasty, a monk of monks. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info, as the name suggests, is the monk of the Tang Dynasty. Thinking back to the source, it is very simple to think that a name with this meaning is not a name that a normal person should have.

It's true that it's not my real name, but it doesn't matter because both words will be my name since that incident and until the end of the matter.

It happened when it was dark and windy...... Oh no, it's a sunny day. I remember that day, my sister and I went to the big **** held in Chang'an City to give a lecture...... Of course, it was my sister Jiang Liu'er who was preaching, and I wasn't interested in those things, so I was only responsible for going to the onlookers.

Although it is a girl, but my sister is not simple, she is the elder of Jinshan Temple who has not entered the temple, and has an innate talent for Buddhism, and now she is only eighteen years old and has been familiar with the scriptures and books, proficient in Buddhism, if it weren't for my brother at home, it is estimated that she would have cut her hair and become a nun who was destined to be alone.

By the way, Jiang Liu'er is not my own sister, but my adopted sister. Eighteen years ago, I just came to Chang'an, and I happened to pick up her on the riverside and went down the board, and it happened that I had nothing to do at that time, and I didn't want to continue wandering, so I adopted her and stayed in Chang'an.

Of course, whether my sister is my own sister or not is not the point, the point is that a major event happened on the **** that day that changed my leisurely days!

A bodhisattva named Nanhai Putuo Mountain, Great Compassion, Great Compassion, Relief of Suffering, and Relief of Suffering, suddenly came to the Bodhisattva, and then took a tin rod that was very valuable at a glance and a robe that also looked super valuable, pointed at me and my sister and said, "Your master is talking about Hinayana Buddhism, and the dead cannot ascend to heaven. I have the Mahayana Buddhism Sanzang, which can save the deceased from suffering and live without damage. Can eliminate the disaster of innocence and solve the knot of grievances, are you willing to take it? ”

At first, I thought that the woman was referring to my sister Jiang Liu'er, after all, she was a monk who worshiped the Buddha, and I was just watching the crowd. But then I realized that it seemed to be me...... It's me!?

Is there a mistake?! Uncle is not a monk, and it has nothing to do with you, a woman with a stinky and long name, why do you refer to me?

With the luck that maybe the woman was mistaken, I ducked to the side, but later found that no matter how much I dodged, her finger was always pointing at me.

I'll it! Look at my violent temper, thinking that uncle, I am not a fairy, so I take your name stinky and long, and I have been hanging golden light floating in the sky, is it okay? Joke! If it weren't for the uncle's sister pulling desperately, the uncle would jump up and slap you to death! Don't think I can't do it, the reason why I don't fool you is just because Liu'er is pulling me, and there is a large audience, I need to pay attention to my demeanor!

Of course, I knew that the thief was in trouble as soon as I heard it, especially the woman with a stinky and long name who said that she would walk to the West Tianling Mountain, which was 108,000 miles away, and I decisively refused.

The woman didn't give up, and she also promised me a lot of benefits on the spot, what can become a Buddha if you get the true scriptures, live forever, live forever, and you can go to the world and everything.

Awesome? Well, that sounds great, but I firmly refused.

Uncle, I don't object to others believing in Buddhism and worshipping the Tao, but I hate the one who is worshiped by others the most. And is it tempting to live forever and live forever? Don't be funny, that kind of little thing can be done as early as 180 million years ago!

I refused the woman's troublesome request to let me go to the Western Scripture, fearing that she would continue to ramble, so I left my sister and the others and ran away.

I thought that such a thing would pass, but I never expected that it was called viewing, viewing...... Uh, what's going on? I'm sorry, because the name is too long, and I don't remember the woman's name. There's no way, people are old, and their memory is poor~

Back to the topic, the hateful woman whose name I didn't remember couldn't fool me into going to get the Western Scriptures, and actually played a trick to save the country with curves, fooling my sister Jiang Liuer and another tigress named Li Shimin to let me go to learn the scriptures.

…… ! Shoes! Where's Uncle's shoes!? Where's the woman?! If you have the ability to come out, the uncle will not be soft this time, and he will definitely beat you to death with shoes on the spot!

Unfortunately, no matter how angry I was, the woman I didn't even remember by name just didn't come out and asked me to whip her with my shoes, and then changed my mind and said, "Amitabha, you can get out."

On the contrary, I was tormented by my sister and the tigress named Li Shimin. My sister Jiang Liu'er is okay to say, she is virtuous and quiet, except for often whispering in my ear, I pretend to be deaf and dumb as if I didn't hear it. But that tigress is terrible, and she will come to my door with the guards of the Imperial Guards to block me all day and night! Originally, the uncle wanted to go to the yamen to sue her for disturbing the people, but then I thought about it, and went to the yamen to sue her, uncle, I must have my brain in water - that tigress is the emperor!

Hell, obviously when I was a child, I was a street player who was robbed by the uncle, I robbed the sugar man, pinched my face, and bullied me, and I would only cry, and I didn't know how to resist, a useless girl, how did I grow up and become so fierce? The eighteenth change of the female college has become too unreliable, right?

Because I didn't agree to learn the scriptures because I was killed, the matter of taking the Western Scriptures was delayed for the time being, but I never expected it...... Uncle hates this sentence!

Unexpectedly, it seemed that he was angered by the uncle's stubbornness that refused to compromise even if he died, and Li Shimin's tigress suddenly carried a sword one day and killed the door single-handedly.

She said that she had no patience to play a game with me, and asked me if I was going to learn the scriptures.

Do you still need to ask? Of course, the uncle's answer is no. Basking in the sun and napping during the day every day, bathing in the moonlight and sleeping at night, this kind of mixed eating and waiting for death, makes people decadent to moldy leisurely days, but what to go to the west thousands of miles away to learn from the scriptures...... Ha! I'm sick in the head, huh?

When I decisively refused, the tigress jumped on her forehead, and then asked me viciously if I was going or not! If I don't go, she wants me to look good!

Want me to look good? Oh, what a naïve guy, since Li Shimin robbed her of the candy man when she was a child and then met her, I don't remember how many times she said this to me, a thousand times or ten thousand times? Or a full 100,000 times? But the result? Isn't it better to bask in the sun every day, and to eat and wait for death?

So for Li Shimin's words, of course, my answer is still no, and it is very disdainful to say - not to death!

And then ...... No then, because I promised.

After all, I said I couldn't go to death, but I didn't say I wouldn't go if I didn't die. was held by a sword to his neck, and the man said, "If you dare to say no, the old lady will dare to kill you on the spot!" "The fierce and evil look, how much do I have to die to dare to say no?

I'm not afraid of death, but I can't do it if it's so funny.

In this way, under the obscenity of the tigress Li Shimin, I had to be forced to shoulder the heavy responsibility of going to the west to learn scriptures.

But it doesn't matter, because I promised to go to learn the scriptures, but I didn't say when I would go to learn them!

Worlds apart...... Mmmm, let me sleep for 180 million years...... Hey, a one-to-one calculation, this number seems a little wrong. Hey, really, whoever makes me good at everything, but I'm not very sensitive to numbers. After pinching my fingers and calculating for a while, I happily made a decision, forget it, change it, and add another zero.

That's right, just sleep for 1.8 billion years first, and then go to get the western longitude. I agreed to go and learn the scriptures, and now the tigress has nothing to say, right? Hahaha, Uncle Ben is so fucking witty!

Pity...... Damn it! Just like before, Uncle hates this word too!

It's a pity that although my wishful thinking was crackling, it came to naught in the end. Because not to mention 1.8 billion years, it only took three days to mix, and Li Shimin's tigress came to the door with a sword again.

Oops, I'll go! At every turn, you take a sword to other people's houses to block the door, are you really a woman, are you really an emperor? is so cruel, be careful to be put in the name of a tyrant, and then you can't marry for the rest of your life!

I am a person with a very good memory, so this time when Li Shimin asked me when I would leave, I wittily didn't say that I wanted to sleep for 1.8 billion years before setting off, so that she would definitely come to ten swords and eight swords, or simply hack the corpse to death with 1.8 billion swords and then feed the fish, let alone dare to say that I will be killed and then set off like last time - I am afraid that I will be killed by her, and then she will send someone to directly protect my body to the west...... Wrong! After being killed, the uncle has already gone to the west!

Hiss~! Thinking of this possibility, I gasped on the spot. Li Shimin, the tigress, wouldn't have come to the door with a sword with such an idea? It's horrible!

No, no, this ill-intentioned tigress must not be given the opportunity to realize her vicious wishes, with such thoughts, I gave her an impassioned answer on the spot, and I will leave immediately!

Is it possible? Of course not! How could I, a lazy commodity who didn't want to take a nap in another place when the sky fell, be so easily scared by Li Shimin to go to the West to learn from the scriptures, so the answer I gave her was that when she and Liu'er got married, I would leave!

Haha, thinking of Li Shimin's stunned expression at that time, I really have to admire my wit. After all, Liu'er is good to say, beautiful people, gentle personality, as long as you are willing, greet someone at the door to marry me, and ensure that the door of my house will be broken by someone in a tea time. But what about Li Shimin?

Don't be funny, although that tigress is also beautiful and an emperor, but her temper is so stinky and her vision is so high, how can she marry out easily!

Li Shimin's tigress uncle knows her too well, and he can guess clearly what color her belly pocket wears every day, what clothes she wears today, and what attitude she has towards me. So I bet that even if Li Shimin really wanted me to go to Xitian to find someone to marry, with her critical eye, it didn't take ten or eight years to go through the entire Tang Dynasty, and it would never be possible to find a pleasing one. And it is more likely that she has seen all the Datang men, and she can't find one that she likes.

No way, Li Shiming is very stubborn and arrogant, and he has the same attitude towards everything, either he likes it or doesn't like it, and he will never settle between the two. So, how could that tigress get married?

How can I be so witty? No, no, I have to change the plan, 1.8 billion years is probably not enough for Li Shimin to find someone to marry, so add a zero to the end, and directly 1.8 billion years.

Hmm, I suddenly felt that this number seemed a little wrong, no matter, anyway, it was recognized that the uncle was not good at counting, so he decided happily!

By the way, not only Li Shimin, but also my sister Liu'er's vision is equally high. There's no way, who let her have me by her side, handsome, chic, upright and serious, standing up to the sky...... What about the brother who is so good that he is the best in the world? With an excellent brother like me as an example, there is no way for her to have a high vision.

In this way, I successfully fooled Li Shimin, who came to the door to find trouble, with an impeccable excuse.

And then...... This time there was no then.

Because Li Shimin's tigress and Liu'er announced to me the next day that they had found a suitable person to marry.

I remember when Li Shimin told me the news at the time, I almost slapped her chest flat.

Please, it's you who has big breasts, but it's not me who has no brains! What kind of people are you and Liu'er, and what kind of vision is the uncle? I haven't found the right eye in the past eighteen years, but this time I found the right eye in one night, or both? It's not like that, it's not like that, is it really stupid to be an uncle who can't think!? Don't be stupid, you don't go to Chang'an City to inquire, who doesn't know Uncle Ben's wit? Even Fang Xuanling's treacherous chick uncle can play around, so he wants to trick me with this kind of clumsy trick. Look down on people, huh?