Because the only two readers of this book have started school, no one has read this book, so I'll write down the reasons why I wrote this book. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ

First of all, the book is set to take a brisk and comfortable route at the beginning. I want to write a book, how to say, the kind of book that can make people feel warm, have positive views, and have positive energy.

It's not the routine text that is circulating on the market now, if you don't have a black belly and don't plunder everything, you can't survive. It seems that there is only darkness in the book, and there is no light, and the protagonist is always inexplicably contradictory to people.

Although I know that this is a book writing routine, otherwise how to pretend to be slapped in the face, how to develop the plot, however, this is biased from reality, even in reality, not all of them are like this.

Here's a look from my life, but I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything, but I'm just going to explain some of the reasons why I wanted to write this book.

Well, let's start when I was a kid.

Because there's a birthmark on the face, yes, that's right, it's on the face. So my mother took me to all kinds of looks, and hit the pioneer on the face, but it turned out to be suppurated, and there was a small pit on the face. Corrosion of the face with chemicals, oh my god, that pain, well, you can imagine sulfuric acid corroding the body. Anyway, it's just to let it become dead skin and fall off. Laser Treatment...... I've tried all sorts of things, but I'm still the same me, still wearing the birthmark.

So, when I was a child, I don't know if I knew what self-esteem was at that time, but I remember a person who said to me the word 'ugly', and I cried, I felt very uncomfortable, and I felt that the world was full of hostility towards me. And this sentence, which has been engraved in my heart for decades.

Growing up, my father's company reformed, he lost his job and was made redundant. My parents quarreled at home every day because of work.

But my father was mild-tempered, and my mother, well, was hot-tempered like a tiger. Anyway, I'm really curious, my father is a tiger, and my mother is a monkey.

In other words, is your second elder wrong?

Haha, gossip and get down to business.

They were clamoring for a divorce when I was very young, and then I just dismissed them with a simple word.

If you give birth to me and don't raise me, what are you giving birth to me for?

In this way, the two barely got by.

The two quarreled and fought every day, and my father, in a fit of rage, ran away to work far away and came back once in a long time.

Yet, yes, however, my mother had an affair...... I feel that this is human nature, there is nothing that cannot be said, and in the end, it is good for the judges to continue to watch.

I don't know if it's because of the way my mother was raised, but she was always beating people. I was often beaten by her, domestic violence or something, it was really annoying, and I even had the idea of choosing death to get rid of it when I was very young.

No one even dared to believe that it was just the thought of a child who was not yet ten years old.

I received a rigorous education, and when I came home a minute late, it was ten belts. Well, bloody pain...... Tsk, mother, mother.

She also has severe, self-destructive tendencies.

Maybe she's tired of being alive too, so she wants to kill me before she dies.

So, they locked me in the balcony and let me die by smelling the gas, and threw me off the balcony on the 6th floor, although not only once.

But when I was young, I already had a strong rebellious heart, she wanted to throw me, I crawled out, I was fed up, I felt that there was no freedom and dignity in being a human being, and I didn't even want to look forward to any future.

My father knew that my mother was having an affair, so they quarreled every day, and when they were done, they beat me. Men's singles, women's singles, mixed men's and women's, and men's and women's relays.

Tsk, mom, I'm really a humanoid self-propelled sandbag, really.

So, I was afraid to go home, and I hid in the Internet café every day, becoming an Internet addict in the eyes of others, but no one knew.

This teenager who is addicted to the Internet doesn't even have a dime, and would rather be cold and hungry in an Internet café every day, skip meals for a few days, and not go home for a few days.

In short, my mother felt that she couldn't control me anymore, life was boring, she didn't even have the last sustenance, and chose to commit suicide.

She asked me to buy her alcohol, and if I didn't wake up, I would beat me if I didn't go.

But when I got it back, I was beaten up again, and she said, 'I'm going to die, so you can buy me wine.'" Oh my God, I'm really wronged, isn't it really what you asked for yourself, I won't go, you fight, I'll go, you still fight, what do you want me to do? She clamped me with a vice. Tsk, there is no doubt about my mother, I have no doubt that I picked it up from her mouth.

Hawkers, in the end, she still left, or chose to commit suicide.

When I first heard the news, I was not shocked, only shed a tear, I don't know if I hated her at that time, or loved her. All I know is that I suddenly feel a lot easier in my life.

However, my infamy spread thousands of miles away. Of course, this is a joke, in short, people say that I am an Internet addict teenager who does not listen to my mother, and my mother commits suicide. I told my children not to let them play with me.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I just feel like I'm jumping from one pit to another. A lonely, hopeless pit.

I desperately wanted to be recognized, so at the age of twelve, I stole money at home and went online with my so-called 'friends', all I knew was that as long as I had money, they would want to play with me.

Well, my dad found out about me stealing money. He beat me hard, but I also felt wronged.

I cried, and he cried. At that time, I really didn't know that this painful man was the only person I would rely on in the future and the only person who would accompany me.

If possible, I would like to say sorry to him, but unfortunately it was too late.

Well, in the winter of the following year, my father suffered a heart attack and died at his place of work because of my mother's affairs.

Hehe, when I was thirteen, I became an orphan, a helpless orphan. Next, there is the sadistic action.

The school thugs beat me for fun, they thought I was a beast, a brute, and killed my parents. Beat me badly, rob me of my money, and if you don't give it, you will see it once and beat me again.

At this time, I was living with my grandparents.

It's probably hard for anyone to understand that, how to put it.

is that the other party is seventy years old, but for you, he begged in a low voice, picked up rags, picked up rags in the wind and rain, carried a bag of garbage every day, and climbed six floors.

I couldn't do anything to make them sad in the face of being so kind to my grandparents.

So, I endured all kinds of bullying...... However, they will only get worse. Even the teacher will say that if others don't find trouble with other people, isn't it your own problem that they only find trouble with you?

Maybe, maybe it's my problem, maybe I'm too weak, maybe I'm not there, or maybe I'm afraid to say these sad things to my grandparents.

So, I didn't dare to go home when the two elders were sober, so I secretly ran back in the middle of the night every day to wash the bloodstained school uniform, and the next day, I wore the clothes that were not yet dry as usual, and ran to school early in the morning.

In order to reduce the burden on my family, I go to school during the day and go to the Internet café at night to train people in games, at least the other party can take care of my dinner and breakfast.

Call parents, call parents, damn it, I hate calling parents. Is there anything you can't tell me?

What's wrong with me going online, I'm online, you guys fire me, tell my grandparents to do something.

I don't know how my heart was twisted and painful when I heard from my grandparents that people were going to fire me and they were going to kneel down and beg others.

I hated me for being weak and powerless.

So, a 14-year-old boy would rather skip class than go to school.

He was completely blackened, glaring at everything, believing that all the evil in the world should be destroyed.

Yes, you are strong, I can't afford to provoke you, you rob me, it's okay, I'll rob the weaker people.

However, he was kind and never forced others, so people who knew his situation lent him money one after another.

And he was used by the thugs, yes, others robbed in his name. The person who was robbed called the martial arts masters of various factions to come to the top of Huashan to fight with him.

Oh my God, use your pig brain to think about it, a war scumbag may go to rob the disciples of the major masters?

Anyway, I carried the black pot, it was nothing more than more beatings, it didn't matter.

Well, when I was sixteen years old, the resentment in my heart was about to explode, and the whole person had fallen into the edge of darkness.

That's when I had the idea of writing novels to make money.

But because of my personal experience, I was blackened, so my works were also blackened, and as a result, I couldn't even pass the first review.

I'm decadent, I feel like I can't love it, and I'm useless at all.

That year, I committed the most suicides, but God seemed to be against me.

It just wants to see how I'm struggling with all this.

I was chased by a murderer with a machete, but unfortunately, I practiced and ran away. I wanted to die with the gas on, but I didn't expect that I had already decided to leave my grandparents alone and come back that day.

Speaking of which, I have to mention why my grandparents don't care about me.

Because one day someone called my home and said that my time of death had come, over and over again, my grandparents heard about it and thought I was hopeless, and the next day, I went back to my hometown early in the morning.

After that, I lived alone, living on only 100 yuan a month, eating instant noodles every day.

It wasn't until half a year after eating that my body completely collapsed.

One day in the heat of summer, I almost died.

The bleeding did not stop, nosebleeds for 5 hours during the day, and at night, it flowed for 3 hours, and finally passed out. The blood can't be stopped, and when the nose is blocked, it flows out of the eyes, ears, mouth, especially the mouth, which is simply spraying. I almost choked myself to death.

Seeing this, the first half of my life, the first half of my blackened life is over.

Let's talk about some happy things, at least, that's what I think.

In '08, I started writing books to make money again, but I failed.

After 09 years, I went to work at Foxconn, but I had a scar on my arm that I left and was not allowed to pass. Speaking of which, I have to remind readers not to harm yourself, that's stupid...... Don't say stupid, civilize you, me and him. Something to do.

Because I borrowed money to go to Foxconn, I was desperate and tried to be a security guard.

paid a few hundred yuan and joined the ranks of security guards, but because of his appearance, it was a birthmark problem. He was assigned to a coal washing plant in the mountains by a security company.

Started a dark life, working overtime every day, working overtime, and at the beginning it was said that there was overtime pay for overtime. In the end, we worked too much overtime, saying that we would only pay half of the overtime, and finally saying that we would not pay overtime.

Speaking of which, I really want to say, in fact, as long as the conditions are not so bad, people will really obey, at least I am very satisfied with half of the overtime pay, why do you have to force each other.

However, this was a desperate situation, and I resigned.

As a result, that...... The leader of the soul is weak, and he actually embezzles my salary. Uh-huh, sir, am I so good to give in. I was forced to die and received a salary of less than 2,000 yuan.

Hehehehe...... I really, eh, be good and don't swear.

Then I stayed at home for a while, and then I had to go to work in other places.

In the middle of this, I met the girl who made me feel intrigued. She was afraid that she was the only girl who saw my face, deleted me in seconds, blocked me, and said that she liked me.

The love is just beginning, how to say, anyway, I fell into the peach blossom array, the first time I was emotional, and it was also the last emotion in this life.

Yes, seeing this, is it a bad idea again, that's right.

Here's the thing, I'm very tired from part-time work, I don't know if anyone knows it, it's the drilling team, looking for coalbed methane.

I'm a weak physique, and I have to do all the work of the class, as for why, because there are 4 people in a class, a squad leader, a co-pilot's son, and one is, so what's the matter, that kind of bastard, second-rate.

So when I was 22 years old, because of overwork, plus sleeping in a tent, how many degrees were 0 degrees at night in the tent, so, I was rheumatism, one leg was lame, I couldn't work, I had to go home to rest, and I didn't go to work until a month later.

Bleeding and sweating, all the money earned, was sent to my girlfriend.

Bite...... Seeing this, doesn't it feel like I'm stupid. Actually, no, I just, I have never had the goal of living, I just maintain the basic characteristics of life, however, my heart has long been dead.

And her appearance is the motivation to support me to live, although ...... More on that later.

I worked part-time for a few months, with a salary of several thousand yuan a month, 12 years, more than 3,000 a month, which is really not a little.

I GAVE ALL MY SALARY TO MY GIRLFRIEND, AND THEN, SHE PLAYED COSPLAY AND SPENT ALL HER MONEY ON IT. So much so that after I resigned, I didn't even have the money for the journey, and it was still the money that netizens gave me.

I asked my girlfriend to give me a hundred dollars, and she said yes, and the result was ...... Heheda, blame me for being naïve, I'm still too young.

I had no money, I couldn't even afford a ticket, I only had ten yuan on me, and I asked my friend to call me a hundred yuan the next day, and I went home.

Then, silently waiting for my girlfriend's so-called 100 yuan, in the meantime, I haven't eaten for 6 days. Of course, this is not the longest time, the longest time is 10 days without eating, hungry legs have no strength to walk, and I have to sleep for more than ten hours a day. This friend gave me a hundred calls, and when I got the money to eat, I was beaten. Yes, I had no strength, and I was beaten and covered in blood. As a result, I went home with a limp, and I didn't even eat.

Talking about my girlfriend, I gradually found out that something was wrong, so I went to her Taobao and saw the record of her buying cosplay outfits with money.

So, I said to break up, and she stopped replying to my messages.

But, who regards her as a spiritual pillar, mother, I really can't let go of her.

So I panicked, called her and didn't answer her messages.

Then, I saw a sentence that life should be a trip that is just about to go.

So, because of her, I couldn't sleep all day, so I got up early in the morning, took a few hours of car rides, went to another place, booked train tickets, and prepared for a trip that I said would go.

I got motion sickness, and I was really afraid of taking the car, but for her sake, I still took the car to her city.

On the first day I came to her city, it was raining, and the Internet café outside the train station was expensive, because I didn't know how long I would have to wait to see her, so I didn't dare to spend money and froze all night outside the Internet café.

The next day, I missed her, but there was still no news, and I kept taking the bus to her school, but she turned a blind eye.

On the third day, I went to her QQ, contacted her teacher, and through her teacher, I finally met her.

However, irretrievable, it is irretrievable. I don't know if she was born like this, or if my breakup really hurt her.

In short, this period of my life, the most attentive and emotional feelings, was shattered like this.

During that time, it felt more painful than when my parents were away. But, you think this is the end?

Wrong, I went back to my city and saw her Weibo saying that she lost her phone.

So I gave her a thousand dollars, but I only had a few hundred dollars for my own living expenses. As a result, do you guys know what's going on?

Hehe...... I was reported by my most beloved woman, damn, she reported me to Tencent, and then Penguin blocked my QQ account that night. Hahaha!

This is the most desperate moment, I was crazy, crying, and drunk, but my self-control was not bad, and I was still not drunk in the end.

So, I put all the remaining money into Tenpay, opened a monthly donation, and let the money be donated automatically. But, yes, there is a but.

However, the next day, my Moneypay was stolen. Heheda, you also want to steal the money I donated? Very well, this hatred is not endless, I am in hell, and I curse you deeply.

After that, my life was as tasteless as plain water, and I looked forward to death.

However, the thing I wanted to do the most was not done.

What is it? It's about writing a book that leads people to goodness and tells people that the world is not so hopeless.

Why do I, who have gone through all kinds of despair, have such thoughts?

Because, after experiencing pain, how can you bear to watch others experience such pain again. Therefore, I want to write such a book, one to tell others that in addition to sorrow, there is love, warmth, and the eternal light of hope in this world.

So, while working part-time, I enriched my thoughts.

Because I didn't study hard when I was a child, I could only work hard in a steel factory, as a pharmaceutical worker, corroded by chemicals, and my skin was rotten, but I still gritted my teeth and insisted, obviously, I was so fragile, but I still had to persevere. Because, if I don't finish that book, I'm not reconciled, that's my only wish.

I don't know if my experience is too fascinating, there are always a few young girls who say they like me, however, the most I say to them is to study hard, and then if they are disobedient, block them. So, I deserve to be a single dog.

However, I'm proud, I've had enough of the suffering of not studying well, how can I bear to let others suffer this kind of hardship, even if I am scolded and hated, it doesn't matter. Mostly, the most hurtful time was when a certain girl said that she wanted to take revenge on me...... Oh my God, what kind of outlook on life, values, girl, I'm saving you, you don't understand.

Speaking of which, well, so, I was stupid again and forgot the lesson. At that time, I had actually opened a monthly donation on Alipay, but I still wanted to open Tencent's, so I went to open it. However, I was stupid and couldn't tell the difference, and I was hit again. yes, the next day, the next damn day, my Tenpay money was stolen again.

Ladies and gentlemen, I really hope that you will remember this lesson, Tenpay...... Pitters.

This summer, I finally couldn't bear the intensity of work. Because the environment there was so bad, I went to donate blood while working for two days in a row, and I had serious sequelae of the respiratory tract, and as soon as the environment was not good, I would get sick.

So, at a young age, I suffered from rheumatism and the sequelae of respiratory tract infections. However, the prodigal like me is simply the representative of the wave and not dying, you see that I am still alive and kicking now.

So, I picked up my old dream and wanted to write the book that I wanted to leave to this world, which was probably the only evidence I had ever had, and the last gift I could leave to this world.

So, in my book, the main character is a promiscuous person, a virgin. I don't know when Our Lady became a derogatory term in other people's mouths.

However, I am the Mother of your mouth, and remember, there is such a Mother in this world.

When he couldn't eat well and couldn't dress warmly, he donated two-thirds of the money he exchanged for blood and sweat. He donated blood and suffered from sequelae, but he had no regrets. When others scolded him for being an idiot, he said, 'As long as there is a penny that is used for the real thing, then my money is not a free donation.' ’

Because of the problem of organ donation, he had conflicts with his only remaining relatives, so he did not return to his hometown to visit his grandparents for many years. For organ donation, he spent his own money to go to the hospital for a physical examination, but fortunately, the internal organs of this broken body were still intact and could barely be used.

So, on behalf of Our Lady, I, asked, "Our Lady, what's wrong?" Our Lady, when did it become a derogatory term? Please let me know out loud.

Because of my experience, I was desperate, grief-stricken, and even hated the world for a time. However, as I grew older, I was relieved. I learned to be compassionate, I learned to be tolerant, I learned to forgive, I learned to be grateful.

I use everything I have to love this world, to love this world that has hurt me deeply. Even if it's so unbearable, I want to light myself up and let others see a little bit of hope, even if it's just a little bit, it's enough.

I feel sorry for every unhappy child who is still smiling.

I know that my pen is limited, and I can't write such wonderful words that make you happy and learn a lot.

But I did my best, it was the only thing I could stay, and it was my last wish, I was tired, tired.

Other people's wallets are full of banknotes, but my wallet is full of receipts for donations to others, which is ridiculous, and some people cheat me for money. But, it doesn't matter, my heart is dead, it doesn't feel pain anymore. The torn heart has long been painful to the point that it can no longer be painful.

Just like when I started writing this book. A few days before this, I had been defrauded and lost six hundred, one-fifth of my remaining property.

And because of the rain leakage at home, I fell asleep with the sound of rain every day. The house leak happened to rain overnight, and the ship was late and encountered a head wind. The sound of night rain disturbs people's dreams, and the sound of silk rain weaving curtains into a line.

I know that I don't write well, so I don't dare to ask others to read it, so I always say sorry to readers and hope that they will tolerate me. Because, with a low level of education, I have already worked very hard to write and study very hard.

So, this book was written in such an environment as a memorial to my whole desperate life.

Originally, I was going to write these after I finished this book, I didn't go to seek sympathy, if I wanted to, I could even support myself myself, and I didn't need to donate money at all.

It's not a big deal, I just want to tell you. No matter what a person has experienced, as long as there is hope in his heart, there are many possibilities in his life.

I originally wanted to finish what I said, but I was really afraid that I wouldn't last until then, so I changed it to a shelf.

As a result, the only two readers have started school again, so it doesn't matter.

I am too lazy to look back, so as not to shed tears again, so you can bear more if you make a typo, a sick sentence, or something.

I hope that when you read my book, you will be happy and learn to be happy. Rather than simply, go for the so-called pleasure, because, this book, it is probably difficult for you to find pleasure.

If I wanted to, I could write better stories and even follow the famous ones. But I can't, I don't forget my original intention, I have to always.

I want to fulfill my one, one, last wish. The only evidence that can be left to this world is well preserved.

I'm tired, give me a hug, feel sorry for myself, for so many years, you have been wronged. Give me a hug and thank myself, it's great that you haven't gone bad for so many years. Give me a hug, thank you, thank you, and be so kind.

Above.