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Every year of age is a forced demolition of memory. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info our youth, and in the end only a pile of lonely ruins remained.

……

The morning light appeared in the east, and there seemed to be an orange-red dragon hidden in the clouds.

Is it a dream?

Everything that happened that night was like a long nightmare.

I can't wake up, I'm scared.

Someone from behind gently tapped me on the shoulder.

It's Lao Luo.

He said regretfully: "Let's mourn and change, I understand your feelings, I have also experienced life and death with my brother, and moreover, more than once. ”

I nodded silently.

"I'll arrange to send it to this funeral home." Lao Luo handed me a note with the address of the funeral home, greeted two people, and carried Lu Zehuan away.

I just stood there, watching him leave me.

Still delusional that this was just a damn dream, I just needed a shudder to wake up and break free from the gloom and darkness in front of me.

I would never have imagined that our farewell would be so hasty and unbearable.

I remember once talking to Lu Zejun about the topic of life and death, and he said that when you die for your ideals, what dies is no longer death, but rebirth.

Now, I am tired of these "new birth" and "resurrection" chicken soup for the soul, this kind of self-deception and consolation, in reality, like a virgin, falling into the hands of a group of lewd wolves.

I saw that they were "killing".

This is clearly a man-made disaster, and I don't want to live so emotionally and metaphysically.

Thinking of the lonely old man again, I don't know how to tell Uncle Lu about his grandson, and thinking of this lonely old man sitting lonely in the house, my heart felt cold.

The white-haired man sends the black-haired man, and when he thinks back on this life, his descendants are gone away from him, and the irrepressible sorrow will accompany the lonely-loved person in the world until he leaves this world.

Lao Luo and the others were about to call it a day and were packing up their equipment, so I stopped him.

"Here's Wan for the miner with a leg injury, and you can share the rest with your brothers."

"No, no, no," Lao Luo hurriedly excused himself, with a resolute attitude, "Brother Zeng, I said that this time we came here purely to save people, and if you do this, the brothers will not go." ”

"This is what you deserve, please take it, or there will be no peace for my brother's soul. Before he was alive, he was most afraid of owing people something, for his sake, don't shirk it. ”

"But ......"

I didn't let Lao Luo say any more, but forced the suitcase into his hand and said, "Thank you." ”

Pacing out of the coal mine, the morning sun was dazzling, and only then did I realize that I was a little dehydrated, my mouth and tongue were dry, and my mind was dizzy.

I went back to the city and booked a hotel.

Rinse off dirt and sins in the bathroom, and black water runs down your body and down to the ground.

I was wrapped in my pajamas and slumped into the big bed.

My mind is full of pictures of Lu Zejun, and the scenes of our relationship when we were children keep flashing.

In high school, we often skipped class.

Geng Hao is a good boy, and he says he doesn't skip class. In fact, he didn't skip class because of Fu Wenxin, he wanted to look at others more.

Lu Zejun and I made an appointment to skip class, play arcade and PS together, and cross the river by ferry to eat spicy rice noodles. I have sores on my mouth when I eat it, and I can't stop it.

We shuttled through the intestine-like streets of the county, looking for all the novelties. Sometimes we plan to go back to the life of savages, carrying machetes to the mountains to chop branches to make bows and arrows, only to be bitten by mosquitoes and covered in red envelopes. Sometimes we decide to ride our bikes to the distant mountains, only to be exhausted before we reach a tenth of the way and come back by bus.

The dull years occupy an important place in my memory.

At that time, there were ideals every day, and every day was a hero. Like Buzz Lightyear, who just left the factory, he always thinks that he is a superhero who saves the universe.

Lu Zejun is the kind of human who has another world, and this is the same as me.

He doesn't have Yin Deji's utilitarian pragmatism, nor Geng Hao's style of digging into the horns, he said that we can't be the following people: some people are knowledgeable, but boring; Some people are rigorous in their thinking, but they do not live dullly; Some people are heavily guarded and do not know how to be gentle and delicate; Some people are proficient in cooking and cooking, but they don't know that there are photography, poetry, feelings and distances in the world.

He likes to watch Pixar animations, and he says that Pixar always touches the tenderest things in people's souls, perhaps neglected for a long time, or taken for granted, but should be picked up when necessary.

Every year of age is a forced demolition of memory. In the end, our youth is only a pile of lonely ruins.

Memory makes me stand on the land, memory is my talisman forever, and no one can take away my right to remember.

We have memories, we have experienced our lives, and as Lu Zejun said, we did what we wanted to do before we were alive, so death is rebirth.

Tears flowed down my face again.

In a blur, I heard footsteps coming from the direction of the bathroom, and I could recognize that it was the rhythm of Lu Zejun's walking.

I slowly got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, and the sound of footsteps suddenly disappeared.

Is it because of the auditory hallucinations caused by exertion?

Just about to walk out of the bathroom.

Suddenly heard Lu Zejun's voice: "Boss".

I jerked my head back and saw him standing in the mirror, alive, staring and expressionless.

Suddenly, blood flowed from the top of his head and his clothes were stained red.

I yelled "Son".

Reaching out to grab him, he instantly melted into a cloud of blood.

Frightened, his body twitched, and he woke up.

Suddenly, I couldn't tell the difference between reality and dreams, and I didn't know where I was.

When I woke up and saw the scene outside the hotel, I realized that it was not a dream, nor was it a dream within a dream.

When I looked at my phone, I slept for three or four hours.

Yin Deji called and said that it was already Urumqi, and we made an appointment to meet at the door of the funeral home.

As soon as this guy saw me, he threw himself into my arms and cried bitterly: "It's all my fault! It's all my fault! Didn't come in time to save the son! I'm fucking damned! ”

I patted him on the shoulder and comforted him: "Don't blame yourself, it has nothing to do with you, we have worked hard, and the man is over there and will understand us." ”

When it came to Lu Zejun, he cried even harder.

The two old men hugged each other and cried, and put them at the door of the funeral home, which didn't seem to be excessive.

Enough crying, let's go in and go through the cremation procedures.

Lu Zehuan said that in the future, he would donate all the parts he could donate, and then set fire to scatter the ashes in his hometown, and the four of us didn't take this as a joke at that time.

Until now, I still think so.

Yin Deji asked: "How are we going to tell Uncle Lu, I'm afraid this old man won't be able to withstand this blow." ”

"Let's drag it out for now."

"Well, don't tell him at all, and hide it from him for the rest of your life. Let's say that Huanzi is busy with scientific research in Beijing, okay, I will send him money in the name of Huangzi every month, do you think it's okay? ”

"Well, that's a good idea. However, the money counts as my share. ”

In the aisle of the funeral home, a middle-aged woman was crying breathlessly, but a little girl gently hugged her, accompanied her to tears, and comforted her and said that Dad would bless us in another world.

This place is a place where life and death are staged every day; This is where reality and philosophy meet.

On the one hand, the staff are professionally numb to death, and on the other hand, there is an unforgettable farewell and grief.

"We are the families of the victims of the Beverly mine disaster, and we have come to deal with the remains." I told a bloated middle-aged woman in uniform at the window.

"What's the name of the deceased?" She didn't lift her head either.

"Lu Zejun."

The middle-aged woman picked up a booklet similar to an account book next to her, glanced at the computer screen, and asked, "When was it delivered?" ”

"This morning."

"There is no such person."

"What?" Yin Deji and I looked at each other in amazement.

Yin Deji said politely: "Auntie, we came all the way from Beijing, please take a look again, did you miss it." ”

The middle-aged woman glanced at us angrily, then picked up the ledger-like thing and looked at the computer screen, looking through the entries one by one.

"Lu Zejun." Yin Deji said as he took out the phone again, typed these three words, and handed them to the middle-aged woman.

The middle-aged woman took a look: "There is no such person!" Did you ask if it was delivered to this funeral home? ”

"It's this funeral home, there's nothing wrong with that! Could you have made a mistake when registering? I said.

"Hey, you lad got it! When you are in the vegetable market here, our process here is strict, it can't be wrong! "Middle-aged women have some impatience.

"How so?" Yin Deji roared angrily, "What are you going to do? Where did you get my brother? ”

I knew that his impatience was about to explode again, so I immediately pulled him into a corner and told him to calm down first. (To be continued.) )