Walking on the old streets of Shanghai, it is as lonely as ever. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

A soggy yellow leaf falls on the shoulder, and a leaf knows autumn.

Thinking of the Qu Wen in "Dream of Red Mansions", in this life, "the red stripes come and go without worry".

It's loneliness in the physical sense, and it's also spiritual helplessness.

When you come, you cry, and the people around you laugh, and when you go, you laugh, and the people around you cry.

When people come, they will not be like Jia Baoyu with jade in their mouths, and they will not be entangled in fame and fortune when they go, and they will come and go cleanly.

Shi Xiangyun said, "Heaven and earth are endowed with yin and yang, whether good or evil, strange or strange, ever-changing, all of which are yin and yang." "It's a methodology.

The only thing that can eliminate this physical and mental loneliness is the other half.

But the other half is not safe, but only adds to the sorrow. So, Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu argued - who died first.

At first, everyone hoped that each other would live a long life and live longer than themselves. Later, I thought that the people who left later had to endure this biting loneliness, and they all fought for death.

This impermanent life cannot be predicted.

Now that I think about it, it seems that I have fallen under the spell of women, and all the women I fall in love with will leave me, and loneliness is my only reliable partner.

Or rather, I put this terrible spell on myself.

This 100-meter path is secluded and secluded, and the sycamore branches and leaves beside the road are intertwined, covering the road like a tunnel of time, leading to the unknown ahead.

Street-side shops, bakery cafes and old Shanghai garden villas are nestled in the courtyard.

She was in front of me, smiling at me.

Walking up, we naturally hugged each other.

Our hands, naturally, clasped together.

In these days in Shanghai, I realized that I have been dependent on her all these years, but I didn't dare to admit it before.

Now, I don't want to lose her like I lost Fu Wenxin.

We talked for a long time on the phone every day, saying goodnight to each other before we could fall asleep.

Once Fang Xiao saw that I was chatting happily with her on the phone, and felt that something was wrong, so she talked to me and said that now is a critical moment and don't be distracted by other things.

I reassured her that it wouldn't affect her work.

Walking on the warm streets, Chen Fei asked with concern: "You have lost weight, is it hard to start the journal?" ”

"It's okay, everything is going well, but there's one thing I need your help with."

"Don't be so polite to me in the future, what's mine is yours. Regarding the public welfare activity of 'Crossing the Gobi', the signed artists under our company are willing to participate, and I will take care of the follow-up matters, you don't have to worry. ”

"You're worried about this."

"No, I'm willing to do anything for you."

"I won't let your company suffer, and I will try my best to meet the requirements of artists."

"Look at what you said, we're not trading well. In the future, if you are happy, I will be happy, and the rest of the things really don't matter. ”

I held her hand tightly.

Her handpaper is slender and soft, her nails are not long, clean and transparent, like a flawless shell in the deep sea, without nail polish, and she feels a little cold.

She's a cold girl.

"My hands are very cold, my mother used to warm my hands in winter, she said, Fei Fei, you have to find a boy with hot air to warm your hands in the future, so that my mother can rest assured."

Chen Fei recalled the past, with a slight sadness.

I heard Yuan Zheng say before that Chen Fei's mother left when she was very young, but I don't know why.

I don't want to arouse her sadness, and I don't want to ask more.

"Do you think I'm hot enough?"

"You, it's okay, I'll use it." She mischievously rested her head on my shoulder.

We ate skewers at street stalls, Sichuan cuisine at the Fly Restaurant, and watched the sunset by the Huangpu River, Chen Fei couldn't hide his joy.

In addition to being happy, I saw the calm and stability in the depths of her expression. This cannot be disguised.

We cooked at our accommodation, watched TV, discussed all kinds of gossip in the literary and artistic world, and then got tired of getting together......

Sometimes I come home from work and she has already prepared a hot meal.

When she sees me gobbling up, she will hand me a glass of orange juice with concern.

All this seems to have come too suddenly, and there is an illusion that it has strayed into too illusory realm.

I asked her if I was dreaming.

She said, yes, there are only two of us in the dream, and we have to do this dream for the rest of our lives.

It's just that Chen Fei always likes to stay up late and asks me to chat with her.

I was afraid that it would affect her body, so I urged her to go to bed quickly.

She said she wanted to see me more.

I said that we would have a lifetime to look at each other.

She smiled faintly and didn't speak in my arms.

After a while, she said that she wanted to keep it like this, and asked me not to leave her.

I told her that I would never leave her, that if I felt tired, I could throw away everything in Beijing, and that we would find a random place to grow old, and that no matter where we were, I would work hard to make our lives better and better.

She said, "I will be where you are." She said she never regretted having her dress soiled by that stinky boy at his cousin's birthday party.

I told her that I didn't regret falling out with this unruly girl in my life.

Sometimes, Chen Fei would send me to the company and pick me up from work.

One morning, Fang Xiao saw me and Chen Fei hugging each other intimately downstairs.

I chased in, Fang Xiao didn't look back or speak, and went straight upstairs.

That day, during the whole morning meeting, Fang Xiao showed a different cold temperament from before, especially to me, accusing me of not paying attention to the details of this client, and accusing me of not strictly controlling the manuscript and making mistakes and omissions.

Even Concubine Zhao Li felt too strange, winked at me, and asked quietly, "What happened between you?" Editor-in-Chief Fang seems to have had a holiday with you today. ”

I made a "shhhh

After the meeting ended, she said coldly in front of everyone: "Xiaoyu, come to my office immediately!" ”

Everyone looked puzzled and didn't know why.

After arriving at Fang Xiao's office, as soon as she closed the door, her tone immediately softened: "Xiaoyu, now is a critical period before publication, don't be disturbed by other things, what kind of children are long, you can let it go first, I want you to devote yourself wholeheartedly to your work." ”

"I understand that I'm not going to let anything else affect my work."

"You've contributed so much to the new publication, don't make a mess at the last minute and fall short. The whole group is looking at us, and some people wish we were in trouble now. ”

"Editor-in-Chief Fang, don't worry, the wishes of those vain people will not come true, I promise you that "Roadfarer" will be launched smoothly!"

Angry, she shook her head, pointed to the door, and motioned for me to get out.

I understand that Fang Xiao is not aimed at my work, but at Chen Fei.

Her affection for me is by no means a simple relationship between her boss and subordinates, and her anger may be more of a resentment towards Chen Fei.

After going out, Luo Da Praw pulled me to the corner and said seriously: "I know a little bit about your affairs, Xiaoyu, I am also a person from here, you crazy men and women can only be handled by yourself, I want to say, you must not have any pressure now, do what you should do, I believe you have the ability to deal with these things, if you want to confide, find me Lao Luo, I have always been there." ”

I thanked him and said that I would consult him if I had problems that could not be solved.

Luo Da Prawn is a cheerful big brother who acts as a lubricant in the team.

In addition to Concubine Zhao Li, he can talk about everyone with an open mind, from astronomy and geography to beauty salons, he can talk for a long time, and everyone has a special dependence on him.

It's just that he didn't dare to look at Concubine Zhao Li, and we occasionally laughed at him, saying that this was Minglian's secret love.

He was so ashamed that he couldn't speak.

Chen Fei knew that I had worked with Fang Xiao in college, and she asked me how I felt about her now.

I told her that it was the relationship between my boss and ordinary friends, and if it really had anything to do with it, would I be able to wait until now?

Chen Fei looked at me seriously and asked, "You promise that you are just ordinary friends?" ”

"I promise, you can check the post at any time."

She laughed heartily: "Teasing you, see how nervous you are, I believe you!" “