If there is a saying about the past and this life, then reincarnation must be a technical job. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

A poor baby suffered a lifetime of sin, and when he was reincarnated, he won a lucky prize, and the king of Yama promised to grant him a wish. He said that if he is reincarnated, he will live in a big house, sleep in a big bed, and sleep with beautiful women.

King Yama thought for a moment and said, buddy, this is no problem. As a result, he was reincarnated as a mosquito in the female star's family, and all his wishes were fulfilled.

My name is Zeng Xiaoyu, I was born in Qiaobian Town in the late 80s of the 20th century, and I was born with Yin Deji, Geng Hao and Lu Zehuan at that moment.

The so-called "six joys of reincarnation, such as the wheel of fire", I don't know if King Yama's hands trembled when he drew the reincarnation charm, or if the four of them worshiped the handle in their previous lives, counted down to three, two, and one in the mother's womb, and then worked hard together, popping out.

At that time, the doctors and nurses looked at it, and their faces turned blue, Mom, is the gourd baby reincarnated? I've never seen a team that works so well together. It's a pity that we didn't get all seven, otherwise the town would have become a tourist attraction Huluwa's hometown.

It is said that someone saw the purple vapor steaming on the mountain that night, and said that these babies were reincarnated and would do great things in the future. We really did a few big things, the first of which was to block the road in the town, and the county police drove police cars over, thinking that there were people who did not know the truth to pick quarrels and provoke trouble.

Here's the thing, as soon as the four fart children were born, Yin Deji and his father couldn't hold it first, his legs trembled, he couldn't stand steadily, holding the child and crying for his father and mother, tears flowed down his face, that excitement.

Yin Laohan's cry attracted rumors, and as soon as the rumors spread, after the rabble added oil and vinegar, it became that today's hospital delivered four Zhu Bajie, with long noses, big ears, big eyes, and dark chest hair.

The crowd of onlookers in a radius of 200 square kilometers worked tirelessly to rush to Qiaobian Town to see our four "Zhu Bajie", and surrounded the hospital so much that the road was blocked.

When the police uncle learned the truth, he wanted to cry without tears.

How do we grow crazy in the warm air, how do we cultivate spirituality among the mountains and rivers, and how do we wander uninhibited in the rivers and lakes of the town.

At that time, my mother was the head of the town's women's office, and all the belongings of the Family Planning Commission were put on my house. Once, out of curiosity, I turned out a fun thing in a pile of clutter.

I asked my dad what it was.

He said it was a winter melon balloon, and he opened a pack for me to play with.

I took the winter melon balloon to share with my friends, and everyone worked hard to blow the balloons big and round, like winter melons. The adults in the town were undisciplined and didn't tell us that the melon balloon was called a condom.

I can't help but retch nauseously when I think about it, we used to play with that damn thing in our mouths.

Later, someone told me that two of the greatest things mankind has ever done were the Reformation and the Industrial Revolution, and the invention of the condom. Just think that condoms are so noble and not dirty.

There are many ways to play with condoms, and the most interesting way to play is invented by Yin Deji. Fill it with cold water, tie it tightly, and use it as a sandbag to throw people. When Yin Deji threw a female classmate, the sleeve broke, making them wet.

The female classmate called her mother to the school to solve the problem, and her mother looked like a shrew with a long tongue on the cheeks of a monkey with a sharp mouth, and asked the principal to come forward to administer justice, otherwise she would roll on the school playground.

The principal asked the female classmate what was going on, and the female classmate said that Yoon Deji threw her with a winter melon balloon.

What about the tools of the crime?

The female classmate trembled and handed a torn condom to the old principal with old glasses.

The old principal pinched it in his hand and played with it for a long time, then put it under his nose and sniffed it, and found out what the hell this winter melon balloon is, obviously used by men and women to do errands. Immediately, his face turned crimson, and he became angry, and let Yin Deji stand for a week.

Yin Deji is thin as wood, with a few rows of freckles scattered on his face, which is automatically arranged into the constellation Ursa Major, and looks like a Sagittarius constellation from a different perspective. He is outspoken and has a very strong self-esteem, and never allows others to say that he is as thin as wood.

At that time, KFC did not enter China, and the town was unharmed. When we were in junior high school, there was a local tyrant named Zhang Bing in the town who followed his parents to BJ, and had a meal of KFC, and as soon as he returned to the town, he teased Yin Deji, showing off in front of him and saying: "KFC is delicious, I will eat it next time." ”

Yin Deji pounced on him like a hungry African cheetah. Of course, this KFC didn't make it, but it was almost eaten by Yin Deji.

Yin Deji's father, Yin Laohan, who is also a lean farmer, reluctantly accompanied the other party's medical expenses, and after beating Yin Deji violently, he reluctantly sent Yin Deji to the hospital to spend another amount of medical expenses.

At that time, I remember Yin Deji's stubbornness with a face that did not admit his mistakes, and he was beaten to the point that his nose bled for a long time, and he still suffered Yin Laohan's fist without saying a word.

Yin Deji's mother is honest and old, and she has been subservient to his father all her life, and she has no demands except for eating and drinking. Seeing her son being beaten to the point that her head was bleeding, she kept her head shut and didn't say a word. I think this is considered domestic violence, but at that time, people didn't even know whether lawyers were used for food or excrement.

The fact is that at that time, the four of us rushed up together and beat the arrogant Zhang Bing, turning his snot into red.

Whenever we do something bad, such as stealing peaches from the landlord's mother-in-law or using artillery to blow up the Ye Widow's thatched pit and are caught red-handed, Yin Deji must stand up and take full responsibility, an absolute model worker. In the circle of four, he habitually played the role of the prince of the black cauldron.

And I, due to the all-round development of morality, intellect and physique, has been rated as a good student by the school every year, and every time I pretend to be a little fresh in front of adults, I am praised by them.

Geng Hao is a super avant-garde and cool wash, scissors and blows, he doesn't like to talk, and he must be cold when he speaks. He is a low-key and luxurious presence in F4.

His father taught art at the town junior high school, and his mother died of a hemorrhage when she gave birth to him, and his father did not continue. His father had a sloppy beard, everything was normal when he wasn't drinking, and after drinking some horse urine, he immediately turned on manic mode and often beat Geng Hao.

At that time, his father gave us a lesson, and he played around with Suo Suo on the blackboard a few times, and drew a landscape for us to copy. I sat down on the podium, rolled up my trouser legs, and put my two scuds on the lectern and fell asleep. When I woke up, I ended the class.

Geng Hao is the only boy with long hair in the town, and his hair flutters when he runs, like a bohemian hero in a martial arts movie. He loves painting, and it should be said that he is deeply fascinated by painting.

On the wall behind the squatting position in the men's toilet at the east end of the town, the diapers are covered with his world-famous paintings such as "Guernica" and "Sunflowers", and they are all painted on the wall by piercing his fingers with cacti and dipping his own blood.

I never figured out how this guy had so much blood.

Every time I see Lu Zehuan, I will think of the picture of the goblin flirting with Tang Seng in "Journey to the West": Yo, little handsome guy, with fine skin and tender meat.

That year, a Taoist priest came to the town and said: "Ze Xi Ze Huan, survive in the water, this baby will be very tired in this life." Lao Dao suggested that Lu Zehuan's grandfather change his grandson's name, but his grandfather didn't agree, so he farted and blew the Taoist priest away.

Lu Zelu is one size smaller than us, and we treat him as a younger brother.

In F4, I usually lead the activities, Yin Deji and Geng Hao echo it, and Lu Zejun is in charge of the followers, and they follow us all day long and have a lot of fun.

Lu Zejun's parents died early, and he grew up with his grandfather since he was a child, and he would take care of him more every time we had trophies.

His great-grandfather was the only post-90s generation in the town, certainly a post-90s generation in the 19th century. This old man is a big birthday star, famous in the town, but unfortunately his legs and feet are paralyzed in bed, and Lu Zehuan's grandfather does not leave his body to take care of him 24 hours a day.

Some people say that the men in his family are sick and hard, and the women will be killed if they marry in.

His great-grandfather was two days away from turning 100 years old and swallowed his breath without fighting, and after that, Lu Zejun and his grandfather Uncle Lu depended on each other.

Uncle Lu likes to laugh, and when he sees people call him "Uncle Lu", he laughs, and his neat teeth are like making a toothpaste advertisement, which makes people can't help but laugh.

The fat man Zhang Bing looks very much like the little kid on the Wahaha bottle, and I suspect that his parents were drinking Wahaha when they created the man.

His father is a coal boss, although I don't want to admit the fact that the landlords and rich people in the old story are all square-headed and big-eared, but my subjective will cannot change the objective facts, this terrible fact is that Zhang Bing's family is indeed as round as in the old story, a hobbit family.

This family walked down the street, and from a distance it looked like a bunch of meat balls rolling over, which was very funny. Usually, the family relies on money, but no one has anyone in their eyes, which offends many poor people.

Therefore, Zhang Bing lives in another world in our eyes, and we already have a premonition that it is inevitable that these two worlds will break through.

Zhang Bing's attempt to eat KFC and being beaten by our group was just a fuse, contributing to the fact that F4 beat him up. Nietzsche said, "He who fights with the devil should be careful that he also becomes a devil in the struggle." When you look into the abyss, the abyss is watching you. ”

After beating Zhang Bing, we fell into deep thinking about fate and philosophy, we also want to go to BJ, watch Tiananmen Square, and eat KFC, but we must not be as arrogant and domineering as Zhang Bing after going to BJ.

It's not a big deal to go to BJ, it's not that we beat your nose and face are swollen. However, BJ has become more sacred in our hearts.

At that time, there was no CCTV in the town, and every household used antennas, which looked like the skeleton of a kite, and the weather was a little worse and the signal could not be received.

Only three television stations can be received: the local station, the central one, and the central one without sound. We look at BJ's news every day, and we yearn for it. So, there were four people by the river of the mountain alliance and sea oath.

It was the first time we drank blood wine, and I remember it very well, because the smell of blood wine was so fucking choking. The wine was stolen by Yin Deji, and when he came home at night, he was naturally beaten by his father again.

To drink blood wine, there must be blood. If you want blood, you have to cut the flesh, although I have seen all kinds of bloodletting in the green forest heroes in the costume films, but we know that it is acting, and when it comes to bloodletting, we will completely stop eating.

Yin Deji touched his whole body, and finally touched a wound on his left shoulder that he had fallen a few days ago, and as soon as the scar was removed, a thick stream of pus and blood gushed out, and Yin Deji hurriedly connected it with a wine bottle.

Lu Zehuan was stunned when he saw it.

I thought to myself, this trick is too ruthless, and it is not so easy to make an alliance with blood. Lao Tzu's body is intact, what should I do? Besides, the pus and blood in this wound mouth, I don't know that millions of bacteria and white blood cell corpses are howling inside, who can drink it?

Without saying a word, Geng Hao pulled out a cactus thorn and pricked it twice on the tip of the scarred left ring finger, dripping blood into the wine bottle.

I also learned from him to pull out a cactus thorn and prick his finger in pain to bleed.

Lu Zehuan next to him turned pale and didn't dare to look at me directly. If you look at it again, you'll faint.

Geng Hao still didn't say a word, pulled out another cactus thorn, pricked two holes in the other finger and bled out, saying, "This is when I dripped blood for the stinger." ”

Lu Zejun breathed a deep sigh of relief.

The four evil boys completed the ceremony, and the wine was so spicy that the four of us cried and called our mothers, and we didn't know why adults loved to drink such things.

We don't even know the exact location of BJ, only that there is Tiananmen Square, the Great Wall of China, Chairman Mao, and KFC.

That night, Zhang Bing and his old man Zhang Dafa reasoned with our four families. Although my family is not a wealthy nobleman, but in the town is also a scholarly family, usually the neighbors have to find my father when they have a red and white celebration, and even the neighborhood disputes do not go to the cadres, they all come to my house to reason.

After Zhang Dafa arrived at my house, he didn't look for my parents directly, but shouted outside the door: "Is Xiaoyu at home?" ”

My parents followed the sound and went out and saw Zhang Dafa with a smile on his face, his facial features crowded on his broad face, like a chrysanthemum in the dead of winter.

He said: "I heard from the soldiers, Xiaoyu beat him today, is it true?" ”

"We were walking and accidentally bumped into Zhang Bing, he tripped over a stone and fell." I say.

My father said, "Let the child solve the child's affairs." Let's not mix. ”

Zhang Dafa seemed to want to say something, but our parents turned around and went into the house, leaving him to stand alone outside.

My parents didn't blame me and didn't express an opinion on the matter. I felt guilty in my heart. I thought to myself, Zhang Fatzi actually didn't do anything bad, and he usually likes to show off the new gadgets his parents bought for him, such as remote-controlled airplanes or something.

If he continues to show off like this for a long time, it has caused the psychological imbalance of the little friends, and even a little jealousy, jealousy will turn into hatred over time, so he teased Yin Deji with a smile that day, which completely inspired our long-standing hatred.

Early the next morning, it was pouring rain, and it was true, the umbrella did not work at all, and the cold wind and rain poured in from all directions, and it was completely wet from head to toe.

I came to Zhang Bing's house alone, and Zhang Dafa saw me and hurriedly beckoned me into the house: "Xiaoyu, why are you here alone?" ”

"Uncle Zhang, I'm sorry, I lied yesterday, and I'm here to apologize to Zhang Bing today." I beat up others, and I was quite aggrieved.

"I know you're the most prolific of these kids," Zhang Dafa touched my head and said, "Come in quickly." ”

To my surprise, Zhang Dafa took a towel to dry my whole body, took out Zhang Bing's clothes for me to change into, and then took out a dozen Wahaha stuffs for me.

Wahaha was definitely a super luxury at the time, equivalent to a child's XO, and my parents only let me drink that stuff when I was coaxed before a haircut. Seeing that Zhang Bing's house was piled up everywhere, Lao Tzu's psychology was really a little unbalanced.

At this time, Zhang Bing, who had a blue nose and swollen face, was lying on the sofa drinking Wahaha, staring at me with fierce eyes.