The next morning, while everyone else was still asleep, I took a taxi back to school. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 Info thought of last night's thrilling experience, and couldn't help but want to chat with Fu Wenxin.

I told Fu Wenxin about it, saying that I was almost seduced and raped by a last night.

She was very happy, saying that I don't sell my body as an artist, and I am worthy of praise.

I sighed and said, "I'm stupid and don't want to sell my body, so if I continue to write like this, maybe the article will never see the light of day in the drawer." ”

Then you have to keep writing, because you are doing what you like, doing things that are beneficial to the world, although these benefits are not immediate, but they will always affect the outside world from a deeper dimension. Writing is never something that happens overnight, and only a few copies of "The Red and the Black" were sold, and a great writer like Balzac was so poor that he couldn't be a gunman, and he was so hungry that he couldn't help but be a gunman, do you know what I want to say to you? Fu Wenxin looked at me seriously.

"What do you want to say?" I stared at her with interest.

"Some words are like artillery, and when they explode, they are gone, leaving behind a little cloud of smoke and debris. And some words have to fly for a long, long time, and fly far into the air to explode beautiful fireworks, and those who watch must know how to wait to see its beauty. She drew an arc of flight in the air with her hand, "Some words are like a flash in the pan; Some words are like pines and cypresses through the ages. ”

"Does my text belong to the former or the latter?" I asked deliberately in a humble way.

"Phew!" She deliberately ignored me.

At that time, I wanted to give her a grateful hug, like a friend, but I only said "thank you for the encouragement" lightly.

Fu Wenxin's words rekindled my desire to fight, I continued to write, write in class, write after class, sometimes get up in the middle of the night and think of good words and sentences for fear of forgetting to get up and write on paper, I am chasing dreams.

Occasionally, when I forgot to eat or sleep in the library, she would accompany me and help me look up materials.

Wang Yi bought coffee and lunch, and Fu Wenxin and I chatted happily while eating in the dining area, only to find that Wang Yi was standing next to him like a sculpture, and he waited for us to finish eating and then packed up the lunch box.

I said let's do it ourselves, but I couldn't force him, he had to help us pack our lunch boxes. Seeing his soft fingertips meticulously fold the lunch box neatly, I felt that I had taken advantage of him.

When he went to throw the lunch box, I said to Wen Xin regretfully: "Hey, what a warm man, it's a pity!" I ate other people's food and drank other people's coffee, and I don't want to go, what should I do? ”

Fu Wenxin said: "Come less, do you have any intentions not to go, are you taking advantage of me?" ”

One night, Wang Yi chatted with me alone in the library and confided in me: "I am satisfied to see Wenxin so happy with you. I just want to see her smile every day, I don't want to deliberately stand in the way of you, please forgive me. ”

"You have nothing to forgive, you are such a good person, we can be friends."

"Okay, I hope to be friends with you forever." He threw a sunny smile from a big boy, and I thought to myself that this child was innocent enough.

Actually, I wanted to tell him that I was the one standing in their way. Whether it is Wang Yi or Yuan Zheng, they have paid a lot for Fu Wenxin, and Yuan Zheng has even changed from beginning to end.

For a person to change himself, it is easy to persist for a day or two, a month or two months is fine, but in the amorous and restless youth, it is difficult to endure such loneliness for a few years.

The beauty resources of liberal arts universities are notoriously high-quality in BJ, not as cheap as the broadcasting academy, nor as frivolous as the film school. The beauties of this school belong to the type of talent and temperament, with the conditions of Yuan Zheng and Wang Yi, as long as they want, I don't know how many beauties are willing to be upside down to become their crotch.

But in order to Fu Wenxin, they "made people haggard for Yi", and they had the kind of artistic conception that Wen Tingyun said, "Exquisite dice and red beans, lovesick to the bones and don't know".

Acacia can enter the bones and turn into ten thousand years of sadness, at least the two of them can blatantly express their love, pursue it, and resolve the pain of the bones, and I, hopelessly, let the poison of lovesickness gnaw at my bones in countless late nights, and the pain is unbearable.

Yuan Zheng said that he would be widowed for Fu Wenxin for the rest of his life.

I said, "You are not called a widow, but a widow."

He asked me that we have attacked our hearts, and the band has been doing it for so long, and I don't see Miss Wenxin change her mind, there must be something wrong.

I said, maybe it's not enough, in "The Legend of the West Chamber", Zhang Sheng went to self-study and review his homework every night in order to soak Cui Yingying's family, just to get fame and get a beauty.

Yuan Zheng said, I think it must be Wenxin who dislikes me for being too abusive and dirty before, it must be so. He asked me how I could wash myself.

I said, there are some things that can't be washed by jumping into the Yellow River, so you can pull them down.

Yuan Zheng was silent and looked at the sky stupidly.

By the end of my junior year, finally, my artillery was about to take to the skies.

I was taking a nap that day, and a strange phone call woke me up, and I picked up the phone angrily, and the other party sounded like a middle-aged man, and he was full of anger.

He said that his name was He Fei, he was a publisher, and Professor Zhuang's friend had read my article, which was great, and he wanted to ask me to talk about it.

As soon as I heard the name He Fei, I was full of energy, and I stood up from the bed like a spring.

Speaking of the "Freezing Point Series" at the end of the last century, everyone in the publishing industry knows about it. He Fei set up the banner of "steppe tribe" in BJ, called himself "chief", and edited a large number of books that were loved by young students.

Those books were my spiritual food and enlightenment reading materials in high school, and at the time when my view was formed, the words like snow and fire opened my eyes, and I was amazed that the Chinese language could still be written like this. "Hu Shi",

"Lu Xun", "Lin Zhao", "The Soul of May Fourth"...... There are too many keywords, like the flowers of youth blooming around me.

At that time, everyone else was reading villain books such as "Bosom Friend" and "Reader", but Fu Wenxin and I were in love with the books compiled by the "chief" He Fei.

In countless dark nights, with no boundaries of darkness, I followed the "chieftain" into a heretical world of light, and they opened the door to enlightenment in my youth. Those sharp, paranoid, even crude, thoughts led me into another dimension.

The air I breathe is no longer boring and monotonous, I have a lot of confidants, and I no longer feel inexplicably lonely in the crowd.

Without Mr. He Fei's legacy in the 90s, the publishing industry would have been bleak. He Fei excavated grassroots speech and cutting-edge ideas in an extremely difficult context, so that the ideological and cultural circles of the 90s continued the cultural bloodline of the "80s" contention.

The authors he introduces to readers are all young people, and he says that he likes to work with young people so that their voices can be heard.

We agreed to meet at a book bar next to the Broadcasting Academy, and the name of the book bar was between the lines.

Hung up the phone, it was hard to hide the excitement, dancing in the dormitory, Yuan Zheng and Yang Chenjun asked me suspiciously, why did you short circuit today.

I told them that the publisher I admired the most was asking me to meet.

They all congratulated me and said that it was finally written.

I called Fu Wenxin and invited her to dinner to thank her for her encouragement, because when I was about to give up, she asked me to keep writing.

I asked for bowls of rice that night, and I talked a lot, and I excitedly told her how I used to like reading the anthologies edited by He Fei, how I put those books under my pillow, and how much I liked the articles and power in the books. She looked at me tenderly, echoing, like a mother chicken in a cartoon talking to a chick with fluttering eyebrows.

Now that I think about it, I am not excited to publish a book, but excited to share the joy with her.

The next day, I met with He Fei at the book bar, and I couldn't associate him with a cultural person, like a small bag foreman who had just come out of the construction site.

This person is a typical Mongolian man, with a low and hoarse voice, carrying a large satchel and wearing gray earth-colored clothes, interpreting the simplicity of the Mongolian steppe and thick soil. Speaking passionately, I don't know tiredness, we hit it off at first sight

, many points of view coincide.

I printed out all my essays and stapled them into a sample book and presented them to him with both hands. He looked at it for a while, praised the sharp writing and good writing, and immediately took out a contract from his bag to sign with me immediately.

I didn't read a word, and wrote my name on the contract with a pen.

During that time, He Fei took me to meet scholars and artists whom I had admired for a long time, and when I talked to them, some of them had something to say, and I was deeply inspired, and some of them were better known than to meet.

He Fei told me that engaging in culture can only be done in BJ, although this place is mixed, but there is an atmosphere and space for you to talk about ideals, to a small place every day firewood, rice, oil and salt to the cow to play the piano, in BJ we smell the same at least can be warmed up.

It is difficult to define the profession of He Fei, who is a bookseller, a scholar and, of course, a man of culture. He is different from other cultural people, others see him as a contradiction, the status of a literati and a merchant can already create topics, if he is a Confucian merchant with a mediocre style, he can live a decent and prosperous life.

But he refuses to play the magpie, refuses to be a dumb drum in the dark. This man from NMG has become a crow in the literary world in a maverick way, reporting worries but not good news; He believed that in this barbaric material age, scholars should become spiritual leaders; He wants to use the spirit of reason to break the ignorance.

He told me about his family history and encouraged me to pursue my dreams passionately when I was young, and what is the difference between a man and the walking dead if there are no dreams.

He Fei claimed to be the son of a farmer, as soon as his parents saw that this fart child was black, it must be the life of a farmer, and he was named He Tu for the rest of his life, hoping that he would work on the land like his grandfather and father for the rest of his life.

It's the most fucking earthy name I've ever heard. But this child has a heart that wants to fly, and the land can't trap him, so when he grows up, he changes his name to He Fei.

When he was a child, his family was poor, and he did a lot of small businesses, selling sickles, straw hats, popsicles and even dog skin plasters, and worked from kindergarten to university.

In 1987, he was admitted to the BJ School of Economics, when he was in college, he liked to go to the library to read magazines, write poems, and planned to publish more than 40 books.

After graduating in 1991, he was assigned to work in the government sector. In the past, his world was full of poetry, thoughts and feelings, and he was instantly surrounded by lengthy official documents, verbose meetings and poor aunts.

So, despite the opposition of his family, he rejected the marriage contract of the county magistrate's daughter. At that time, the family had arranged for them to get married, but the groom ran away from the wedding on the eve of the wedding.

He went to GD to do business, doing dumplings and wonton business, and slowly accumulated savings and began to do his favorite cultural industry.

I asked him what he regretted the most.

He said that he ran away with the county magistrate's Qianjin Cave back then, what a fucking pity, she should have slept before she ran away. After speaking, he laughed, picked up a full cup of Mongolian wine and drank it all, his face was so spicy that he was red, and his face was bitter.