He ignorantly took his father's big strong hand and walked on a hazy road. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ

Suddenly, several people on the side of the road wanted to arrest him, but he was severely scolded by his father, and he felt that his father's hand was warm and strong......

He woke up from his dream with a sense of familiarity and a strong sense of security.

It's a dream about a father.

The content of the dream is very simple and vague.

However, the dreamer's feelings are so intense.

I said earlier: if a dream produces emotions that are very strong and clear and brought back to real life.

Then let's say: this dream is very valuable!

The value is reflected in the fact that this wonderful emotion transcends the feelings in reality.

This transcendence is different from the narcotic, drug-addicted hallucination.

It's a kind of déjà vu reality.

And so it is.

The sense of security that the dreamer feels when he wakes up from a dream is different from the security he feels in reality.

The former is almost an unconditional, innate security; The latter, on the other hand, is simply a kind of security that is dependent on certain conditions.

Just like many people in the social environment, they always crave the harmony of family affection; the longevity of friendship; The sweetness of love.

Because it gives them a sense of security.

However, each of these feelings of security has its own specific conditions.

It must be premised on the harmony of feelings.

Once a relationship is in crisis, their sense of security may disappear in an instant.

Even before the crisis, they had a sense of caution and could not achieve true ease and pleasure.

Just like people with mental illness always think that the tranquility when they are not sick is safe, it is actually a very compromised happiness.

However, the sense of security after waking up from a dream is different.

It seemed to be a strong sense of security that could only be understood, without the kind of happiness and dependence that my father had succeeded in protecting him because he had drunk those people; Still a hazy, wonderfully hazy; It is as if born to be rooted in the psyche of the dreamer.

Of course, this is just speculation.

Whether it is true or not can only be judged by the dreamer himself.

According to the dreamer's description, this sense of security after waking up from a dream is completely consistent with the memories of being protected by his father as a child.

Don't think that this memory is too obvious, it's almost the content of this dream.

Because I can almost say that many adults have forgotten this feeling of being close to their father as a child.

This is what is often referred to: the generation gap.

In real life, some adult men often keep a distance in front of their fathers.

This distance is often referred to as respect.

But in fact, it is a kind of rejection of the same sex, a kind of fear of authority.

They will feel awkward if they are intimate with their father now.

It is also reasonable to say that this is a normal and relatively common social phenomenon.

However, if we look at it from the point of view of joy and happiness: this phenomenon has its irrationality.

Because of the distance from his father, in terms of psychological personality: it is an imbalance of personality.

This was explained in the chapter "Personality Deviation" in the previous volume: people with depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, people with withdrawn personalities, feel depressed, sentimental, and unhappy in life. It is because their personalities are too much inclined to the femininity of motherhood, and they have forgotten the courage of fatherhood.

Of course, this is only a superficial analysis of the "deep psychological analysis".

You may see a contradiction: Don't you always emphasize the importance of motherhood?

The boy is a lover of his mother and hatred of his father.

The reason for mental illness is the detachment from maternal security and the compromise of strong fatherhood.

But why is the importance of fatherhood emphasized at this time?

It is not difficult to unify these two contradictions.

As already explained, only when we are fully integrated with motherhood will we neither reject nor compromise with the outside world; Keep a normal distance.

The previous analysis only highlighted the patient's excessive compromise on paternity.

Therefore, it is reasonable for this dream to emphasize the importance of fatherhood.

The meaning is only to remind the dreamer not to be too repulsive to fatherhood, because excessive rejection is often self-harming.

It's like someone hates a stern man in reality, and the more they think about it, the more they hate it, and they hate it so much that they are not interested in doing other interesting things.

This rejection is actually punishing oneself.

……

However, if we can connect this superficial analysis with the sense of security in the dream, we can save a lot of complicated and cumbersome analysis in between.

But the premise is that the dreamer is a person whose personality is not too pathological and whose innate memory is relatively intact.

Because only in this way can he connect the feelings in the dream with the original memory, instead of relying on the psychoanalyst to completely psychoanalyze and deconstruct it, and retrace his memory step by step and strictly.

This is also one of my original intentions for adding the volume "Dreams and Memories".

However, we have to face up to the fact that only a small number of people can restore their mental health by relying only on the feelings in the dream and the comparative superficial psychological analysis.

Most people need to go through a complete and in-depth analysis to find their lost memories, and dreams are just an aid to the icing on the cake.

There is also the opposite situation: first put the role of dreams in the first place, and then combine it with in-depth analysis.

Because according to the contact, I found that many people with mental illness do not keep much childhood memories, or their understanding is too shallow, and their memories are not far enough away.

They always complained about the misfortune of that time and the harm their parents caused him.

And I forgot the emotion and joy of that time.

Even when they are moved, they mistakenly regard that feeling and happiness as instinctive and unconditional happiness.

Because those so-called touching and happiness have their own specific conditions and circumstances.

Only the kind of feeling in symptoms and dreams is unconditional and undisguised.

However, the feeling of symptoms makes them too disgusted and repulsive; If you ask him to explore more distant memories, they may easily lose patience.

And the feeling in the dream is more acceptable to them, and everyone should be moved by the dream.

This is another reason why I added the volume "Dreams and Memories".

Therefore, combining psychoanalysis with dreams may make them more receptive.

Otherwise, it is difficult to ensure that they have enough patience by using psychological analysis alone.

Back to topic:

The sense of security in this dream is the dreamer's childhood memory of being close to his father.

This intimacy cannot simply be attributed to dependence, but to an unconscious intimacy, not dependent on one's own fear.

It is a kind of "virginity", a trait that is most natural, pure, and instinctive.

Not literally and formally.

Arguably: this is a must-have for every mental health person.

Because of "virginity", there is a hazy memory of the concept of death, and only then will there be enough courage to face the disasters and dangers in life.

Because of "virginity", there is no rush to produce a "disguised maturity" that surpasses that of the father. In life, we can show our true self and not suppress our pure and happy self.

Those pedophiles are all because of their extreme attitude towards this "virginity". Sometimes extremely repulsive, pretending to be mature; Sometimes they behave childishly.

So sometimes they are very infatuated with mature women, and sometimes they are pedophiles.

Because of "virginity", there will be that indispensable seriousness and seriousness; Just like the unconditional seriousness that children sometimes show.

Treat life, there will be no cynical false and free and easy; There will be no such "wild laughter" of "it doesn't matter", "self-defeating", and "seeing through the red dust".

In short, no matter how mature a person is, instinctively being "virgin" is a must.

And many people are afraid of showing closeness to their parents in front of outsiders, which causes them to lose their most instinctive and natural happiness. (To be continued.) )