The quiet night triggered an unprecedented inspiration for Ané. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

It was a distant, magical, déjà vu feeling.

It's a magical feeling that dissolves all the confusion and sorrow that Ane is experiencing.

This is a state that cannot be attained by any external comfort and transfer.

It is true that when he is depressed, he listens to music and watches comedy; Or read some philosophical books; Party with friends, singing...... can give him pleasure.

However, these are short-lived, superficial anesthetics.

Extremely dependent.

Once lost, the loss is also reciprocal.

However, this touch of inspiration seems to be a constant flow of happiness close to the source.

It was as if he had discovered a secret that no one else had to do - to treat all the pain he had experienced as a whisper to his mother.

The pain will soon disappear - no matter how deep-rooted and distant.

For example, he used to work in Dongguan, and he was displaced and did not eat. Eating fast food is a luxury, and you can only save money by eating pho and egg fried rice.

Compared with those rich people who drive millions of Maybachs, go in and out of six-star hotels, eat Australian lobsters that come by air, and drink 82 Lafite; Lives in the Presidential Suite......

This gap is hopeless and depressing.

He lamented that he had been physically and mentally exhausted and homeless by repeated love-breakdowns, but he was also tormented by material deprivation.

And those who are rich, women and wealth are abundant.

Even if it doesn't compare with the rich.

Those working boys who exude youthful vitality are also much better than him.

At least they haven't been crushed by setbacks to the point where their spiritual pillars have collapsed, and at least they still have dreams.

And his pillar has been uprooted as early as his college days.

Even if he really gets love and career, it can only give him the happiness of surface anesthesia, and cannot make up for the qualitative trauma in his heart.

What's more, he has no ability to get all this, not even the joy of topical anesthesia.

This is probably what people often call depression.

It's just that he's been running away from the word.

Because the word is socially recognized as "terrible", "terminal disease".

Even if there are some positive statements that say that depression is not terrible and can be treated......

However, the implication behind it is always that the person has had this disease before, and the recovery is only temporary, and if there is anything abnormal in the future, it is because he has had this disease before.

This is a kind of socially tacit "consensus".

As they often say - I understand your feelings, but I can't accept you.

Behind sympathy, there is always a hidden rejection and rejection.

However, it was such a sudden inspiration that magically healed this kind of psychological wound, which was considered a "terminal disease" by society, in an instant.

All he had to do was put all the pain he had experienced, from the outside world in his heart, and by the negative description of outsiders implying that "this child will be a tragedy in the future......"

Converted to an intimate conversation with mom -- "Mom, that person said; 'I will be a tragedy'. ”

This "tragedy" will soon cease to exist.

It is like a child who has been separated for many days, breaking away from the dark embrace of outsiders and returning to the familiar embrace of his mother.

In the endless flow of people, crowds, and busy streets, a dazed and anxious Ane is looking for work everywhere.

Some young men and women who were bright and energetic walked by, and there was a hint of disdain and mockery in their eyes.

for there was a childlike anger in his eyes, which was peculiar to his age, very disproportionate to his age; Plus his homemade suit and handmade sweater that his mother insisted were good clothes, shouldn't be wasted. It's a joke that a rural kid who has just quarreled with his mother, angry at social injustice, wants to find a job in a glittering and competitive metropolis.

This is a real scene that he has experienced before.

At that time, everything in front of him was gray, depressed, and invincible.

No matter how angry he is, it doesn't help - society can't tolerate him like his mother.

No matter how ridiculed he is, he has to compromise - otherwise he will not find a job, and will have to starve and live on the streets.

But when he imagined turning all this into a conversation with his mother, and describing these scenes to his mother as if he had seen them in a day,

The high-rise buildings that were once towering into the sky and beyond his reach suddenly became no longer so "high"; Aston Martin and the crowd that exudes a strong sense of professionalism are gradually blurred. -- A blur and obscurity of reality, vision and impression.

He is no longer oppressed by the so-called "business empire" and the tide of occupation.

He's just getting so "ridiculous". ――Isn't this kind of scene the hazy childlike joy of taking the bamboo basket from the firewood pile from my mother as a child, walking out of the house, and going to Grandma Wang's house to pay New Year's greetings?

It's just that this "ridiculous" is a long-lost and wonderful memory.

It wasn't the scenes that grieved him, but the fact that he had forgotten the visual memory of the first time he saw them. (To be continued.) )