At the fortune-telling stall on the corner of the road, a fortune-telling man with a long beard fluttering and looking a little fairy squatted in front of a young man who looked like a college student. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

Chen Dou has been very unhappy recently, and when he plucked up the courage to confess to the goddess, he saw the goddess get out of a middle-aged man's car, the time was morning, and the middle-aged man was definitely not her father or other elders, because the middle-aged man's fat hand stayed on her upturned ass for more than a minute, rubbing and pinching.

"Loss, loss and gain, its path is ......"

The school is located in a remote area, he has to go to the supermarket in the city every week to buy some daily necessities, instant noodles and ham sausages and the like, the day before yesterday it was time to store food, the process of buying things is very smooth, the car is familiar with the road, when he came back, he collided with someone, delayed a little time, and almost missed the last bus. Tired like a dead dog, he got on the bus, only to find that his phone was gone, and it must have been stolen by the person who hit him just now.

"There is a loss and there is a fortune, Yuanji is not to blame, but it is chaste, and the benefits are at stake......"

The shadow of the thief could be seen through the window of the bus, Chen Dou immediately got off the bus, there were many people waiting for the bus at the station, and after squeezing out, the shadow of the thief had disappeared into the vast sea of people. The last bus left, taking with him the dry rations he left on the bus.

"曷之用二簋, can be used to enjoy ......"

And last month, the linear algebra teacher, who has never been named, suddenly took a roll call, and received a notice from his roommate that he was in a hurry but still a step too late, and drew a big red cross on the roster, and the teacher announced in the classroom that all the students who did not arrive at the roll call usually had zero grades, and made an exception for them to take the final exam, but they had to get 80 points to pass.

"There should be a time for the two to be strong, and there is a time to lose the rigidity and the softness......"

In class, the class he goes to is not named, and the class he does not go to must be named; In the cafeteria, he stood on which team was the slowest in the team, and when he switched to the fast team, the people in front of him began to play five or six; Go to the Internet café, either full and no empty seats, or the keyboard has fewer keys, the mouse is not working, and finally came across a normal, having a good time, and I can't tell which host is his own and turned off his computer.

"Profit and loss, go with the times."

"Why am I so unlucky, is it because of the evil or the birth year is early? In another month is the final exam, linear algebra is my dead end, eighty points, it is as difficult as climbing to the sky, I plan to take the test fifty points and then plead with the teacher, hope is shattered, and the destruction is very complete. ”

The fairy fortune teller's beard was trembling, and he persuaded himself infinitely in his heart that in the service industry, the customer is God, "Young man, have you listened to me, are you here to tell fortunes?" ”

"Of course I'm here to tell fortunes...... What did you just say? Chen Dou scratched his head, he has always regarded fortune-telling and feng shui as feudal dross, but his recent encounters are really evil, so he should find a psychiatrist to comfort and comfort himself.

The fortune teller's lungs were about to explode, "It's okay, you can't understand it anyway, I'll explain it to you." ”

"You've had bad luck lately, and it seems that your luck has been damaged, but it's not, it's just a loss of the present gain into the future. As for when 'in the future' refers to, it is useless to ask me, but to ask the heavens. ”

"How do you ask?"

"This is a very good question, since ancient times, people have to sacrifice to the heavens before asking the heavens, and they must offer sacrifices to the heavens, and when the heavens have enjoyed the sacrifices, you will come and go, and you will be able to enjoy the fortune of the future."

The fortune teller smiled mysteriously and slowly pulled something out of his gown.

"A cell phone? I've heard of fortune-telling software, as well as tomb-sweeping software, and the worship of heaven can also be replaced by software, will it seem too insincere? Chen Dou shook his head suddenly, "I lost my mobile phone, it is already very insincere to use software to worship the sky, I still use your mobile phone, God knows that it will be difficult for me to operate in my life." ”

The fortune teller's smile was even brighter, and his beard fluttering in the wind showed that he was holding a pearl of wisdom, "You misunderstood, it's a sacrifice." Your phone is lost, and the sacrifice is the phone, as fate would have it, it was yours. ”

……

"No, I'm here to tell fortunes, how did I buy a mobile phone?"

Chen Dou walked down the street in a daze, patted his head, and immediately ran back. The fortune-telling stall had been closed, and the long-bearded fortune teller was nowhere to be seen, and he squatted on the ground and hit his head a few times.

"I ...... How could I be so unlucky! ”

A thousand yuan is gone, in exchange for a mobile phone that I don't even know the brand, the front and back are smooth, and the trademark is not even printed.

"Fortunately, the phone is real, if it is a model, it is called a tragedy."

Press the power button, the phone screen lights up, and you can enter directly without a password. The inside of the mobile phone is also smooth.,There's only a WeChat.,The rest of the software doesn't have any.,I can't even find the functions that should come with the system.。

He tried a lot of methods, long press, short press, alternate press each button, swipe on the screen, swipe down, swipe left, right, mixed swipe, no effect, no normal mobile phone should function.

"There is only WeChat, and I can only chat with people about WeChat in the future, and I can't make a phone call if I want to."

WeChat has complete functions, voice and text are available, you can also watch the news, and the popularity is also very high, Chen Dou's parents have already used it, and they can barely make up for it.

"How do I connect to the Internet?"

Can't find the system's own function, naturally can't connect to the Internet, and the whole mobile phone he didn't see the place where the mobile phone card can be disassembled, what kind of mobile phone is this.

He opened WeChat in a daze, the address book was empty, he didn't add any chat groups, and only followed an official account.

"Heavenly Court!?"

The name was very strange, and he clicked it in casually.

"Gong Cao on duty brought back news from the mortal world: the controversy caused by the consumption of dog meat has become increasingly fierce, and the two sides have gradually evolved from online quarrels to real fights, which have occurred in many places, and the two sides have slightly injured each other, and there have been no vicious incidents of death."

"The gods of rivers and lakes in various places have reported that the situation of illegal immigration is becoming more and more serious, and the crayfish (also known as crayfish) are grabbing the living space of native fish and shrimp, and the situation is difficult to curb under the deliberate connivance of human beings, and the heavenly court should propose practical and effective management methods for this problem as soon as possible."

"The mortal controversy over the consumption of dog meat has sparked a new controversy in the heavenly courts, focusing on the different treatment of pets and protected animals from other animals. If a person has done evil in a previous life, he will be thrown into the animal path in the next life to be driven, scourged, and filled with the intestines of others, so as to repay all kinds of evil deeds in his previous life. However, if they are reincarnated as pets or protected animals, they are treated even more than many humans, and they cannot be warned that 'evil will be rewarded'. Heavenly Court decided to convene a joint meeting of Heavenly Court and Difu in the near future to discuss the new standard of reincarnation. In the course of the argument, there was a small episode, Erlang God and the roaring dog angrily left the table, they expressed their resolute opposition to the gods eating dog meat, and the roaring dog even stated that the problem of eating dog meat was guided to the animal path and reincarnation. ”

It's really weird!

Chen Dou quit the "Heavenly Court" public account, this should be a funny public account, it's not bad to go in and see the jokes, but he's not in the mood to watch the jokes now.

I received a new message, didn't open it, and glanced at it casually.

"The Hundred Flowers Festival will be held in Weng Yushan in three days......"

There is a mountain near the school that seems to be called Weng Yushan, and it is said that it has been called this name for hundreds of years.