"Bang Bang!"

"Attention! I'm going to set it up! ”

The math teacher slapped the blackboard vigorously to draw the attention of all the students to the podium. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Zhen Yaofeng, who was sitting in the last row, skillfully stuffed the mobile phone under the desk back into his sleeve, and then raised his head, looking at the dense formulas on the blackboard, with a confused expression.

"Do I set X first, or do I set Y first? This is another question to send off..."

Zhen Yaofeng propped his chin, he was in no mood to think about where the math teacher was cumming, and he was not in the mood to pay attention to the chalk words "There are still 86 days before the college entrance examination" in the upper left corner of the blackboard.

His mind was still stuck on the news headlines he had just seen on his phone.

"All spicy noodles from supermarkets across the country were stolen overnight, which will be the largest spicy noodles theft since the establishment of China... According to the report of the Approaching Pit Science Column Group, the national spicy strip theft case is related to UFOs and extraterrestrial creatures, and at present, the relevant departments have intervened in the investigation..."

Now the media is enough to attract attention, and the spicy strips can be related to alien creatures if they are stolen, but almost all the spicy strips in supermarkets across the country have been looted, which makes Zhen Yaofeng very interested.

What kind of second-hand thief gang is this, specializing in stealing spicy strips? And what are you doing stealing so many spicy strips, it's not a valuable thing.

Zhen Yaofeng guessed that this is just a means of sensationalism by the editors of some news media, how could anyone steal spicy strips in these years, and it was a gang.

……

The last class was spent in cranky thoughts, and the moment the school bell rang, Zhen Yaofeng yawned, stood up and stretched, pulled the empty schoolbag from the desk, and walked out of the classroom lazily.

Although there are less than three months to take the college entrance examination, Zhen Yaofeng doesn't feel anything, maybe it's the reason why he got his soft hand in the penultimate place, the college entrance examination has no meaning for him.

Students with poor grades like him can only wait until they graduate to study in a technical school, learn a trade, find a job to support themselves, and take the college entrance examination, only for those top students.

Although he already knows that he has nothing to do in the future, Zhen Yaofeng has a good mentality, after all, life still has to live, and he can't stop living because he doesn't study well.

……

On the way home, Zhen Yaofeng, as usual, was thinking about going to New Oriental to stir-fry or to Lanxiang to drive an excavator in the future, but when he passed by a park with his schoolbag, something suddenly happened.

"Whoosh!"

Zhen Yaofeng saw a flower in front of him, and a huge body jumped out of the grass, and when he looked at it, he saw a black-clothed man with a height of nearly one meter nine standing in front of him.

Zhen Yaofeng was wondering what was going on, but he didn't expect this big man to grab his neck and take out a green water gun with the other hand and put it on his head.

"Don't make a sound! If you dare to call me, I'll turn you into toilet paper! A spicy smell wafted out of Dahan's mouth.

Zhen Yaofeng shuddered, swallowed his saliva and said, "Big brother... I don't have any money... I'm just a student..."

"Less nonsense! Walk! ”

Dahan sprayed Zhen Yaofeng's face with chili peppers and pulled him into the grass.

Zhen Yaofeng was frightened, he was robbed for the first time when he was so big, and the robber's weapon was a water gun.

He looked around in a panic, looking for an opportunity to escape and call for help.

But the strength of the big man in front of him is too great, and the physical fitness of the two is too far apart, Zhen Yaofeng can only be grabbed like a little chicken.

After the black-clothed man dragged Zhen Yaofeng into the depths of the grass, he found a big tree, pressed him against the tree, and then pressed the water gun against Zhen Yaofeng's head, and opened his mouth in a very strange voice.

"Tiny earthling, I am from the planet Rab 2.13 million light years away from your planet, my name is Rab 1414, I am the leader of this expedition to Earth, my partners and I have encountered a disaster in the process of exploring your planet, and we need you to help us."

"It's all because of our negligence, eating a food on your earth called spicy strips, and now my companions and I are suffering from an illness, which is called "mental illness" in the words of you earthlings, and it will take a year for our companions to come to the rescue because we Rab first came to make the planet too far away from here. ”

Spicy strips? Could it be that the spicy strip theft case mentioned on the news was done by the big man in front of him and his gang? Zhen Yaofeng frowned, thinking in his heart.

"During this period, you are not allowed to tell other earthlings about our planet, and you must help me find my companions and ensure their safety, if you don't find all the companions on my planet within a year, or let them have any mistakes, the partners who come to the rescue from my planet will turn all you earthlings into toilet paper!"

Speaking of which, the green water gun poked Zhen Yaofeng's head vigorously, as if reminding him that if he didn't do it, he would turn him into toilet paper to wipe his ass in the next second.

As soon as Zhen Yaofeng heard this, he looked at the spicy strips on the big man's lips again, and his heart "chuckled".

He knew he was mentally ill.

In view of some of the privileges of the mentally ill, he had to pretend to be very serious and follow the words of the big man.

"It's too technical... How do I find your buddies? ”

Dahan licked the spicy strip on his lower lip and said: "Don't worry, I have already arranged it for you, among our partners on this expedition to your planet, one of them has only eaten one spicy strip, and her condition is not serious, she will assist you in finding the rest of your partners, remember her name, Rab 9527!" ”

"It's so hard... Big brother, you'd better change someone..."

Hearing this, Dahan said with a firm face: "We, Rab, chose you on the earth when we first came to make the star, so naturally there is a reason for our planet, and you are the human race who saved our planet!" ”

Zhen Yaofeng said with a black line on his face: "Then how did I find Rab 9527?" ”

The big man weighed the water gun in his hand: "You take this, Rab 9527 will find you according to it, anyway, it's useless for me to keep it, I ate a whole pack of spicy strips, my intelligence and discrimination have degraded too much, and I'm basically a waste alien... But remember, this gun is a weapon of our planet, and hitting any creature will turn it into toilet paper, use it carefully! ”

Zhen Yaofeng rolled his eyes and said perfunctorily: "So powerful? ”

The big man saw that Zhen Yaofeng didn't believe his words and said, "Don't underestimate it, I can show you"

Before the words fell, the big man pulled the water gun back and aimed it at himself, added two pressures, and then pulled the trigger.

“biu~”

Zhen Yaofeng only felt that the green light flashed in front of him, and Dahan also disappeared, and there was an extra roll of toilet paper on the ground where Dahan was standing just now.

"! It's really toilet paper! ”

The sudden change made Zhen Yaofeng sit on the ground in fright, he gasped for breath, and then rubbed his eyes, finding that he was not hallucinating.

On the ground in front of him, a green water cannon and a roll of toilet paper.

Zhen Yaofeng's whole person is messy, this big man is really an alien? Those reports about aliens that I grew up watching are also true?

The roll of toilet paper lay quietly on the ground, but I didn't see it change from toilet paper back to big man.

Zhen Yaofeng stood up tremblingly, walked to the roll of toilet paper with small steps, he mustered up the courage to pick up the roll of toilet paper, put it in front of his nose and smell it.

A spicy taste.

Zhen Yaofeng stood in place for more than ten minutes, and pinched himself twice before he came to his senses.

"Rab first came to make the planet... Aliens eat spicy strips... The collective is mentally ill ... One year..."

While muttering, he looked at the spicy strip-flavored toilet paper in his hand, and then looked at the green water gun, recalling that the relevant departments in the news intervened in the investigation of the theft of spicy noodles, and he knew that he had a big deal!