"Makoto~"

Under the gloomy tree, the girl snuggled into the boy's arms, and she smiled, smiling so happily. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Even though it's winter, the tree is still evergreen. The cold can't make it afraid, the years can't make it wither, and Makoto said, "It's like me and you!" Always together, won't change, always ......"

"Is that really going to happen?"

At that time, I was not confident.

"It's going to be like that!"

At that time, Makoto never thought that we would separate.

"Why is Makoto so sure?"

"Lan Xiang, if you don't (take the initiative) to leave me, I will always be by your side! Ranka, will you leave me? ”

Yes, if I don't leave, Makoto won't leave me. No matter what happens, no matter how the years change us, one thing will never change.

"Lanxiang, I like you too!"

That shy kiss, that moment of sweetness, that moment of warmth; He hugged me, I snuggled into his arms, those warm palms, that wide chest, those deep eyes that hid loneliness under gentleness, and that touching smile. I'll never forget that person - the person who loved me the most, the person I miss the most now, the person who will be the saddest in the future.

Makoto Ito, my, my, my...... ...... who will always be with me Favorite people.

"Thank you, Makoto! I like you the most! ”

……

"Na, Makoto!"

"What's the matter? Arashika! ”

"We're going to have a baby!"

That's a matter of course!

“……”

But it was just for me, or for us, and I never thought about it.

"What should I do if I conceive a child, Makoto?"

Makoto's silence made me feel uneasy, and I seemed to have touched something. He suddenly became calm, so calm that there was no expression on his face; put away his soft gaze, and there was a faint hint of cold light in his sight!

That kind of sincerity makes me feel afraid, I am a little afraid! It's the first time I've seen that kind of sincerity, and it feels so strange and terrifying! But......

"That's Makoto!" -- At that time, I thought that in an incredible way.

“……”

Makoto's silence again made me feel remorseful: "Probably, I shouldn't have asked!"

But at the same time, the doubts in my heart are deeper! I wanted to ask him, "What's wrong?" Why don't you say anything? ”

Under the covers, I reached out and squeezed Makoto's palm. I want him to feel: I'm here; And then there's, "I hope you can tell me."

"I'm sorry, Arashika! I don't want children! ”

It was as if he had heard my heart, and Makoto, who had been silent, responded to me as a matter of course. He smiled apologetically, as if feeling guilty, and he felt that he owed me something that seemed irresponsible.

("Kids or something, the most annoying!") ”）

What Makoto didn't say, I heard!

For a moment, doubts and confusion intertwined in my heart. Mingming still trusts, Mingming still likes Makoto deeply, and Mingming is not angry about it; But whether intellectually or emotionally, he can't accept or agree with it.

Why?

Because I don't understand, because I don't understand, because I can't accept it......

"Why...... Why not want children? ”

That's why I want to know more.

“……”

("You won't understand!") ”）

If you don't say it, if you don't explain it, of course I don't understand!

-- Gradually, I started to get angry.

"Na, Makoto! Don't you like me? ”

He actually asked such a stupid question......

"How is that possible!"

But he answered me seriously!

"I don't like Lan Xiang or something, it's impossible."

Even if you don't say it......

"So: Lanxiang, don't think too much!"

I know that, too.

His eyes, those soft guilty gazes that did not shy away; The slight vibration of his heartbeat, which did not change; His movements, the careful care; His breathing turned from light to rapid—I could feel it, I could feel it.

They were silently repeating to me:

"I don't like Lan Xiang or something, it's impossible."

But...... But......

"Then why do you hate children?"

Even so, I couldn't accept it.

"The other children aside, it's me and yours! Why? There shouldn't be a reason to hate it......"

Before I knew it, I cried.

"Not good!" I immediately realized that I had done something wrong, but I couldn't stop crying, and I couldn't stop the tears that had been pouring out.

“……”

Because of the close relationship between the skin that was not covered by an inch, I could clearly feel the slight tremor of Makoto's body, and he seemed to be trying to endure something.

I have forgotten when, Makoto once said:

"There are many things I hate, and among them, the girls I hate the most are the girls who cry a lot and the children who cry all the time......"

"I love quietness! I hate things that ruin the quiet. It's just that...... There are so many people in the world, how good it would be if half of them died! It's unlikely, but if I can, I wish I could all die......"

"It would be nice if there were just the two of us left!"

I didn't understand it then, and I must be the same now! What Makoto is thinking, what he wants to do, sometimes I really don't understand at all; For him, "not wanting children" is something that has already been decided, and he must have a reason that cannot be compromised.

So what exactly is that reason? I want to know, please let me know......

"I don't want children, it's because ......"

"What...... Makoto, what inexplicable are you talking about? ”

"I want to put an end to the continuation of sin! At the very least, I can't let my sins continue...... Also, I will never allow my existence to be proven after death! ”

Although it is rare to see it, it will occasionally come into contact after getting along with Makoto for a long time. It was an unwavering look, a calm countenance that reflected the burning gaze that looked into the distance. He was expecting a death that I couldn't understand, but more than that!

I didn't have the courage to dig any further, and what awaited me must be something I couldn't understand, just like I did when we first met!

"That, I like you! Please ......"

That's a very good junior. Good grades, outstanding athletic ability, generous but rigorous; Chic, handsome, gentle and polite, and has a good relationship with me; If Makoto hadn't suddenly appeared at that time, if he hadn't interrupted Matsushita's words and said those words...... Probably, I'll just say yes to him—even if I don't like him at all.

But even so, I will definitely say yes!

He is so good, so good that as a girl, I can't help but have the idea of "if you are false, you must accept it, otherwise you will lose a lot".

But to that excellent Panasonic, Makoto said this:

"Are you scum?"

"What?" Probably because Makoto suddenly broke in, Matsushita was frightened and reacted a little slowly.

"Don't you know that she likes you at all? Confessing to people who don't like you, how bad you are! Or is it because you know, confessional...... She'll take it......"

He looked down at Panasonic with contemptuous eyes, like garbage; came from behind Matsushita, passed by him, and left him without the slightest pause; Glancing at me contemptuously, he looked away, passed me, and without a moment's pause, walked away from me again, and went behind me: "You too!"

I don't know what Makoto meant when he said, "You too!" It's just that Panasonic's confession became very embarrassing because of his troubles, and the result was inconclusive. Since then, although the relationship has been very good, Panasonic has never said the same thing to me again.

Fate is so interesting!

The next day, I met him again, in the home of a younger sister who longed for me. He sat across from me, and the junior sat next to him, he was the junior's boyfriend, and the junior's confession was yesterday......

All sorts of things that may have been just a coincidence reminded me of a funny joke that made people laugh.

Unlike yesterday, he behaved very naturally. A light and peaceful smile, a soft gaze, elegant and quiet, like a silent primeval forest. It naturally feels fresh, comfortable and mysterious! There was a hint of doubt, a curiosity, wanting to know more about him.

"Makoto Ito (Desi), please advise, Arashika-senpai!" He is not very handsome in appearance, but he is polite, calm and calm in his manners and speech, and his every move exudes an immature and mature atmosphere, like an almost perfect gentleman who can only appear in novels!

To be honest, I was very interested in him when we first met, and now I want to get to know him more and more!

"Can I call you 'Makoto'?"

He looked at his junior, looked her in the eye, and seemed to intend to ask for her opinion. However, the junior was puzzled by this, and just nodded inexplicably.

"Alas......"

For a moment, I seemed to hear a soft sigh.

"Hmm...... Yes! ”

The next moment, he showed a somewhat far-fetched smile. Looking at the smile on his face, I don't know why, the sound of water dripping into the water sounded in my heart. Then suddenly there was an incredible calmness in my heart.

After that, I heard someone's voice - "Sure enough, ......".

It was his voice, it was the voice of his heart, it was the voice that should have been heard only by him, but ...... But I heard it! Gently, delicately, like a whisper; But it struck ripples round and round in my heart lake.

"So, Makoto!"

"Hmm!"

"Makoto~"

"Hmmm......"

"Honest ......"

Looking back now, although he was still Xing's boyfriend at that time, when the three of them were together, it was him and me who were like lovers.

After a long relationship, I realized that the real him is very different from the first impression of meeting him for the first time. obviously has a girlfriend, but is often alone; Obviously everyone is together, but he is always in the corner; Walking alone on the street without people, it makes people unable to think of loneliness and loneliness.

He always seems to be alone, and he seems to be alone! It's not that I'm unsociable, it's not that I'm ostracized by the people around me, it's just-

"In comparison, this is more natural!"

Can't refute!

"Senior Sister Lanxiang, you think so too, right!"

Because, indeed, I think so......

But......

"Arashika!"

"Huh?"

In this way, it always feels that it is unacceptable, no, to me.

"Arashika! From now on, just call me 'Arashika'! ”

I had to do something! to change ......

"Arashi...... Incense ......"

He......

"Hmmm! It's a bit stiff, but it sounds much better! Then please call it that from now on! Makoto~"

I......

"Arashika ......"

"That's right, that's right! It should be called that in front of the apricots! It's exciting! Well, see you tomorrow! ”

And apricots......

The road to the future, no one knew at the time, but the moment I turned around that day, I seemed to see a knowing smile flash on Makoto's face. There was a relief, and that touching chuckle made me stop turning around and look back at him, but it seemed to be all an illusion.

When I looked back, he was gone!

"Thank you!"

Just rubbed by me like a gust of wind, and left me like a gust of wind; No attachment, no attachment......

"Wait a minute!"

“……”

When the wind cleared, his back was revealed, and he didn't turn around, just turned his back to me and was silent......

"Let's go together!"

My gut told me that he would not turn back, let alone go back; Stopping, that's the biggest concession he can make. Probably no one can change it! If you want to be by his side, the only way to do so is to keep up with him now!

Stand side by side with him!

"Let's go, then!"

Stand beside him!

"Hmm!"

He will respond to you, sometimes stubbornly, sometimes considerate and gentle.

The encounter on the roof of the building was the real beginning of us, and at that time I also realized that Makoto didn't like apricots. It's just that he's too gentle! Apricot is serious, she really likes Makoto, and it is precisely because he understands that he accepts Apricot with a smile. In order not to make her sad, afraid that she will be hurt; That's why he chose to hurt himself and try to like apricots.

to understand her, take care of her carefully, accompany her silently, watch her intentionally or unintentionally, and play the role of "apricot's boyfriend" almost perfectly.

It's a pity......

"Alas...... She couldn't understand my thoughts! ”

"Sure enough...... It's better to be alone! ”

At that time, he was not fully committed! At that time, he still had some reservations, some scruples, and he always kept it in his heart - "it's better to be alone".

As a result, no matter how similar it is, a fake is just a fake after all......

……

"Makoto!"

That day, I threw myself into his arms in desperation. Although he felt a little, he was surprisingly quick to accept. He held me cautiously and looked me in the eye to confirm. Probably he had already noticed it, but because of the apricot, he had always avoided it intentionally or unintentionally.

Maybe I'm a cunning bad girl!

"I, I like Makoto......"

But I won't say anything like "please have a relationship with me."

- It's going to bother him.

However, I was still looking forward to it. I can't resist my will, and I can't do anything that will bother Makoto; So, I stared into his eyes and waited quietly, silently......

In fact, the purpose at the beginning was not this, but because I was going to move, I was going to leave Cheng, and I was very reluctant. I know very well that Apricot is his girlfriend and Apricot really likes him......

However, I fell in love with him!

Apricot is a good girl, but I'm actually a bad person. For a few days, I thought about it and finally decided to convey my heart to him without reservation before leaving; He should have noticed, but I want him to know for sure that "I like you"!

Originally, it was supposed to be just that!

confessed to Cheng, and then he knew what I wanted, and I left like this, and he continued to associate with Xing, but sometimes he thought of me, occasionally remembered my voice, and that sentence:

"I like Makoto!"

That's it, that's enough!

However, in fact, there is a continuation where it should have ended, and I like him more than I ever thought I would, and I wish for more just because I got a hug!

I'm a bad woman! So there will be punishment!

All of a sudden, Apricot appeared.

"Lan Xiang, you are still joking when you said 'no good'!"

In order not to get hurt Apricot, Makoto wants to cover up the facts, and looks in the hope that I can lie with him; I should have helped him—but I couldn't.

It's not because of Apricot, it's not that I don't want to deceive her; Just because "I like Makoto", I can't allow anyone to deny it even if it's a lie, let alone the person I least want to deny it!

So-"It's not a joke, I, I, I'm really ......," he said.

"Smack!"

Suddenly it was dark, and a black wind swept in front of me - I was slapped. The heat and pain in my face made me angry, and I subconsciously wanted to fight back...... But before my body could move, my consciousness stopped.

It was Apricot who slapped me because I betrayed her because it was the person she longed for and respected who was seducing her boyfriend. She was right, she had every reason and authority to do so, and I could only apologize to her with apologies and guilt, and I was not even qualified to be forgiven for doing that.

It's a matter of course, it's me who does what I can't do, it's punishment, and I should accept it with a rehabilitated mind - I just didn't do that.

Because I was slapped in the face! I'm sorry for Apricot, but I don't feel like I've done anything wrong!

What's wrong with conveying your heart to the person you like?

What's wrong with hoping that someone you like will be able to respond to your heart?

Expecting to be closer and more intimate with the person you like, what's not to do?

What's wrong with me?

I wasn't wrong! At least, I didn't "miss", and I didn't regret it!

Therefore, at that time, I looked at Apricot and said, "That's satisfying, right?"

I didn't fight back because of my guilt for Xing, and I didn't want Makoto to see me like that. At a critical moment, my feelings were contained by reason. Everything that needs to be done has been done, the purpose has been achieved, and today will leave the city, and it is time to go home!

"Sorry, Apricot!"

I knew she probably wouldn't be able to hear, but I whispered it anyway. Holding the burning left side of my face, feeling the sharp pain, and thinking about the seemingly inconsequential thing of "I probably left a handprint, I can't see anyone", and I left.

By the way, haven't said goodbye to Makoto yet?

But once you have taken a step, you can't turn back; Say goodbye and save it for next time! Moreover, it is not life and death, one day, we will meet again somewhere, we can chat together, we can play together, and we can be by that person's side...... You can like him again......

Before I had gone far and was still thinking about something like this, Makoto came to my side.

Really, the encounter came so quickly.

Makoto took me into his arms, the action was rude, but it didn't make me feel uncomfortable or painful, I felt his cherishment, I felt his care. He carefully wiped away the two tears of happiness that welled up because of happiness with his thumb, and gently stroked the handprints on my face, he was blaming himself!

I heard that!

"It's my fault!"

He actually said that to himself!

Obviously he didn't do anything wrong, but he took all the faults down, he didn't blame me for being willful, nor did he blame the impulsive apricot, but let himself bear all the sins.

It was so heavy, but he still said to me with a smile: "Go, I'll send you home!"

"Don't do that" or something, I couldn't say. In any case, this tramples on Makoto's will. He let himself carry it, he must not want the same thing to happen again, then, too......

I remember that the sunset that day was red and gorgeous, the brilliant light shone on my body, feeling warm, comfortable and warm, holding Makoto's hand, leaning half on his shoulder, although a little unstable, although a little shaky, but the heart is so comfortable.

"Thank you, Makoto, I will always like you!"

I didn't let him hear me, I just said it to myself.

Makoto delivered me to the door, then turned around and waved at me with a smile: "Then I'll go, goodbye!"

I haven't dealt with him yet, but he seems to know! What a sensitive person, what a boy who doesn't understand a girl's heart.

Thank you so much......