After Dongfang Yu finished eating the instant noodles, the interest he had just now was gone, he knew that Shihui was unhappy, and left Shihui's residence disappointed. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 However, he didn't realize that Shihui's mind was changing significantly because of his repeated and repeated shirks.

Shi Hui's mind is indeed a bit big. That night, after listening to Dongfang's words, there was no interest in having sex, and the two broke up unhappily, and after that, they were not in the mood to continue creating, so they took off their clothes and curled up in the quilt alone. She was affected by Dongfang Yu's mood, so she was triggered by Dongfang Yu, thinking of the bits and pieces of her student days, the hopeless thoughts of leaving the campus, and the thought of Dongfang Yu after abandoning teaching and joining the police, which changed more and more. Everyone will change, up or down, left or right, good or bad, however, this change in Dongfang Yu is not what she wants. She only thinks about her husband and children, loving and loving, and growing old together. But now, she has doubts about Dongfang Yu. After all, she didn't understand the reason for the change, but whatever the reason, she just didn't like the change in him. Thinking of this change in Dongfang Yu, I can't help but think of Chen Chun. This is the top boss of the man she loves who has almost nothing to do with her, and she even thinks that it is this man who makes Dongfang Yu change, perhaps, this is the root of all evil. As she thought so, she realized that she didn't actually hate the man. Although there is only one side of the relationship, and this friend is somewhat wary during the period, but because of Dongfang Yu, she germinated her curiosity about this man, in other words, she wants to understand this man who influences her man. She was even thinking about the same thing, if this man were changed, how would she be treated, could it be so if she was so detached, lukewarm!

She was so agitated that there was no way out, so she quickly got up from the bed and went to the bathroom without even putting on her clothes. I wanted to rinse her face with cold water, but when she touched the faucet with her hand, the biting coldness forced her to instinctively retract her hand. Looking at the pretty figure in the mirror, I don't feel self-pity. She instinctively squirmed a few times, imagining what it would be like to have a man next to her. I want a man to see his current self, the man's hot eyes, the man's quick aggression, the man's peculiar gasp, the man's obsession, how wonderful and intoxicating that feeling is. Imagining the many wrongdoings that men may commit to women, there is a commotion, and at this moment, she is willing to be inescapable of being violated and possessed by men, which is the most pleasant. Besides, what is possession, in fact, this is completely a thought in one's own heart, if it is a need of oneself, why not do it, why not be bound by those stereotypes. She instinctively looked around, and didn't see half a man, and there was no portrait of a man even on the surrounding walls, she sighed softly, feeling that she was blessed, and her fate should be like this, why Qiao Li, who was not much better than her, had such a successful career and family, but she was bumpy.

Yes, a woman's youth is short, and when it comes to her, it is even shorter. A few years ago, she just stared at such a man in front of her, but now, other men have abandoned her, she is good, she is more than thirty-eight years old, this man still doesn't appreciate it at all, and he drags on without dying. She even wondered if her plan was right and too extreme, but she had no way out. Because, the body that looks like Bing Qing and Yujie in the mirror is actually no longer real, her body has long been dedicated to the man she has loved for half her life, how can it be so easy to say goodbye now. Not only the body, but also the heart, she still has a deep affection for this man, and she feels distressed when she thinks of him. Besides, what will happen when you retire, it must be a question mark.

That night, she had a strange dream that Dongfang Yu was sleeping with another woman. She shouted Dongfang Yu's name desperately, but there seemed to be a fish bone stuck in her throat, and she couldn't make a sound. She wanted to rush up and tear the woman apart, but her legs didn't obey her at all, she couldn't take a step, and her whole body seemed to be paralyzed. Suddenly, Qiao Li's shadow flashed in front of her, and she let out a smug smile, as if the woman was just her, and grabbed but didn't catch anything. In front of him, the face changed, it was not Qiao Li, it was Dongfang Yu's ex-wife - that coquettish and mean woman, Dongfang Yu blocked her torn hand, desperately protected his ex-wife, and stared at himself with very unfamiliar eyes, like an enemy. Shihui was heartbroken and cried.

Somehow she snuggled into a man's arms, she looked up suddenly, wow, it turned out to be Chen Chun. He was looking at herself with gentle eyes through the lenses, and she read the infinite affection behind the eyes, and her whole being was melted. It turned out that this man was so tender and soul-stirring, she trembled, couldn't help but indulge in the experience of having sex with Dongfang Yu as usual, and opened her beautiful and helpless eyes in the ** experience. Although everything was good, she still woke up.

She did open her eyes, but it was pitch black. In the middle of the night, there was silence, and I felt that I could hear the sound of needles falling to the ground, my heart was beating violently, and the whole person was completely awake. Instinctively, she reached down, her shorts slippery, and she was clear about the dream, and she felt humiliated. All said, thinking about it day and dreaming at night, she didn't seem to have thought about this problem, how could she have this dream without any clue. She couldn't figure out why, but there was an indescribable sense of freshness, excitement, a physical and mental experience that she had never experienced before, and she was tormented by this shameless feeling, and because of this absurd nightmare. When people encounter setbacks, confusion and embarrassments in real life and cannot be extricated, galloping in the field of consciousness will be the best release and self-protection. At this moment, under the cover of night, she did not have the slightest restraint, completely immersed in the wanton of desire.

She thought of "Lolita", and the meaning expressed in the phrase "morality in human nature is an obligation, and we must give beauty to the soul" has a deep sense of identity from the depths of her heart, which is highly consistent with her cognition. If we look at the world from a moral level, there is no doubt that human nature is ugly and dirty, otherwise, there is no need for moral restraint. Human nature itself is like the boundless universe, allowing it to be played and indulged, and it can do whatever it wants without restrictions and beyond the artificially defined barriers; However, from the perspective of human nature, life needs to be enjoyed, and it must be enjoyed, otherwise, where is the meaning of life, those so-called goals, ideals and justice, in the final analysis, are nothing more than the innate right to live and the right to enjoy. The enjoyment of life is supreme, but at the same time, it is like a colorless and odorless air, although it cannot be seen or touched, it must not be missing. Yes, the soul needs to be released, it needs to embody the inherent beauty of human nature, and it needs to embody the value of life.

This is what distinguishes Shihui, who loves literature, from others, because her rich imagination and more desire for emotional comfort than ordinary people make her more spiritual, more delicate, more emotional, and more emptiness. She wrote in her diary, "People want to live in the truth, they want others to show the real side, the sincere side, the simple side, in fact, almost everyone has a disguised cover, they live in hypocrisy, they associate in lies, and they spend every day in self-deception." In the same way, how much I hope Dongfang Yu is true, indeed, what I see should also be said to be true, but how do I think there is something hidden in him. In fact, I also know that he has privacy, concealment, and his own little world just like everyone else, but I hope these don't exist. I am also deceiving myself, people are always floating and living in confusion, I wish I could go on like this, in fact I do spend every day like this, but at the same time I don't want to live like this, I don't want others to think of me as fools and fools, but I do have a social relationship with each other as fools and fools. If Lolita's mother doesn't know the truth, if Humbert doesn't know Lolita's true thoughts, if Lolita continues to play life with Humbert, what will be the result, which is right and wrong, justice and evil, everything is a process, the short life process is like this until it dies, it is both dreamy and realistic, as long as it has existed, experienced this process of seeking death and life, vigorous, isn't it also a kind of beauty and happiness!