When Chen Zimu heard this, his expression was shocked, he never thought that he was such an existence in Shen Xiaozhi's heart. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info Shen Xiaozhi looked at Chen Zimu's expression, smiled self-deprecatingly, and continued: "It's stupid, isn't it?" In fact, sometimes I feel that there is a brave silliness in this relationship, but I really started to like you at some point. I still remember the first time I went to your house was on June 1st last year, when we had PE class in the afternoon, and we were supposed to be honestly at school. But Yuan Yuan didn't say that Children's Day was okay, I was going to laugh at her for being naïve, but when I heard that she was going to take me to your house to play, all the reluctance turned into expectation, and I wanted to save all the time on the road, and I arrived at your house in one step. When we arrived, you were watching Conan at home, the same episode you often watch, I remember you silently closed the DVD after seeing us arrive, and the whole person's expression was a little lonely, I didn't know why you were unhappy at the time, but just spoke cautiously, afraid that if you said something wrong, it would be bad for you to get worse. You later said that I was a shy girl who didn't want to speak, and I really wanted to tell loudly at that time, how could it be? How could I not speak to you? I obviously have a lot to say to you, but I just don't dare. I know you won't like me, but I'm afraid that you'll hate me. Later, you made us egg fried rice, and you fried all the chopped green onions, and at first glance, you don't often cook by yourself, but what is particularly strange is that it is the best egg fried rice I have ever tasted. Later, I went to a lot of snack bars and ordered egg fried rice, and I always felt that they didn't make as good as yours. One time I had a cold and fever, 39 degrees 5, my mother took me to the clinic for injections, at noon my mother asked me what I wanted to eat, I said I wanted to eat egg fried rice, and my mother went out to buy me takeout. But when I ate it, I suddenly couldn't help crying, and my mother thought I had a fever that was too uncomfortable, but I knew that I just missed you. ”

After Shen Xiaozhi said this, she looked at Chen Zimu a little shyly, so she didn't see the clear softening look in Chen Zimu's eyes, but continued to herself: "You may not remember that the first time you sent me home was on October 8th last year, which is about this time. That day was the second time I came to watch your game with Yuanyuan, and I thought it would be good to go together, but Yuanyuan suddenly had something at home, and I didn't even have time to tell me properly, as soon as the game ended, she went home directly with her brother. I felt a little lonely at the time, but knowing that when Yuanyuan entrusted you to send me home, you didn't know how happy I was, and even thought a little viciously, fortunately she had something to do temporarily, which was good. At that time, I lied to you, I said that I was going to go to the bookstore with Yuanyuan before going home, and I had already told my parents, so they went out to socialize at night, and I shouldn't have come home at that time, even if you sent me home, I couldn't get into the house because I didn't have the key. I was so nervous because it was the first time I had lied to you, and I was afraid that you would find out about me, but I just wanted to spend a little more time with you. I suggested that we walk back together, and I said that it would be good to take a walk when the weather was not cold, and the time to get home was about the same, but I didn't expect you to really agree. It was just autumn, and there were occasional fallen leaves on the ground, and when we walked under the trees on both sides of the sidewalk, we would sometimes step on one or two leaves that crunched, and the sound was a bit harsh, and you sometimes couldn't help frowning, but you know what? It was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, because there was you standing next to me at that time. At that time, you stubbornly asked me to walk on your right, I asked you why, you said that girls go to the right, you can help me watch the cars coming and going, safe. I suddenly felt very romantic, I knew it was just your gentlemanly demeanor, maybe you did this to every girl, but at that moment, I suddenly thought how good it would be if I couldn't reach the end of that road for the rest of my life. There have been several times when my hand was just a few centimeters away from your fingertips, and I always wanted to hold your hand all of a sudden and never let go. But I held back, I was afraid that you would alienate me. My mother believes in Buddhism, and I remember that one time on Saturday and Sunday, my mother took me to the temple to offer incense, saying that I would make a wish in front of the Buddha and ask the Bodhisattva to bless me with a good grade and get into a good university, but I secretly made a wish that I would walk home side by side with you again. ”

Du Mijin was silently sulking for a while, and when he turned his head, he saw that Liang Youhuan was still listening with headphones, and there was a look of "moved" on his face. Du Mijin stretched out his hand and patted Liang Youhuan with some puzzlement, and said: "You listened seriously enough, it's already like this, it's useless to listen to it again, think about how to help Shen Xiaozhi remedy it." But he saw Liang Youhuan stretch out a finger to his lips, made a "shhh Du Mijin put on the headphones again in wonder, and heard Shen Xiaozhi still talking in fragments: "Did I scare you when I said this?" In fact, I can understand that it must be very stressful to be liked by someone almost madly. So I've been carefully restraining my behavior in front of you, I'm afraid that you won't know how to refuse me after you find out, so you will ignore me completely, I'm afraid of losing you, even if it's just looking at you from afar, it's actually good. I wrote down all the details related to you in my diary, and every time I thought of you, I wrote a few lines, and in more than a year, I had unconsciously saved up enough three diaries, which were full of your name, and I was amazed when I saw it myself. I thought I could be like this for the rest of my life, secretly liking you, until one day you have a girlfriend, and I can still play with you from time to time in the name of Yuanyuan, and play with your girlfriend. I think I'll be nice to her because that's the one you love. I think I would also envy her very much, because she is so lucky to stand with you all the time. If there is a day when we slowly change from friends to good friends, as long as I can always have such a small place in your life, I think I will feel happy and satisfied. But on the night of February 21 this year, I suddenly went to sleep and dreamed of you. I dreamed that many years later, you got married to someone else, and you invited me to your wedding. I was dressed beautifully, standing at the front of the crowd and watching you and your bride say their vows to each other, and you only had her in your eyes. Suddenly, I felt so uncomfortable, I cried inexplicably, and when I opened my eyes, I found that the pillow was wet. I just knew, it turned out that I couldn't bear that kind of picture, I had to do something, I couldn't be very close to you, but I watched you finally hold someone else's hand and walk forward. I'm not afraid that you will reject me, I am afraid that if I don't do anything, the person I fall in love with in the future will be like you. ”

When Shen Xiaozhi said this, there was already an irrepressible choked throat in his tone, he had loved someone so hard for so long, and he could finally say all the sadness and hardships along the way, what kind of turbulent emotions it was, outsiders would not understand. And Chen Zimu's face was also full of emotion at this time, he never knew that there was a girl who loved him so silently and so deeply and passionately. People are not plants and trees, how can it be said that they are not moved? Chen Zimu felt Shen Xiaozhi's sadness, and he asked in a somewhat difficult tone, "Then why did you tell me?" ”

"For I am timid, you are like a star, shining brightly in my life, and I am as dim as a mosquito, how dare I expect you to notice me?" When Shen Xiaozhi heard Chen Zimu ask himself, he sniffed and couldn't help himself from crying, pretending to smile freely, and said truthfully. But it is this expression of tears in the smile that makes it look even more worrying.

Du Mijin's heart was in her throat at this time, and she shouted loudly in her heart: "Baby, you are about to succeed, don't die!" With Shen Xiaozhi's confessional vigor that he didn't care about now, Du Mijin had an irrepressible sense of foreboding in his heart.

Sure enough, after Chen Zimu heard Shen Xiaozhi's sour words, he was already moved not to want it, he took two steps closer to Shen Xiaozhi, wanting to hug this stubborn and stubborn silly girl. But he didn't want Shen Xiaozhi to stretch out his arm and wave his hand and said, "Don't come over first, listen to what I say, I don't want to hide anything from you, you wait for me to finish speaking before making a decision." Actually, I deceived you. ”

Du Mijin's guess became a reality, and Shen Xiaozhi was finally ready to say everything. But unexpectedly, at this moment, Du Mijin's intuitive reaction was not anger, not anger, but moving. Moved by Shen Xiaozhi's honesty and fearlessness, perhaps this should be the clearest and clearest appearance of love. No matter what the result is or what the result is, Du Mijin admires Shen Xiaozhi, he loves seriously enough, and he has the courage to love. Du Mijin was suddenly a little worried about Chen Zimu, if he missed Shen Xiaozhi, he would never find someone who loved him so without distractions in his life.

When Chen Zimu heard Shen Xiaozhi say that he had deceived him, the expression on his face was very puzzled, he and Chen Ziao were worthy of getting along indifferently, and the number of times they met could be counted on one hand, what else could she deceive? He looked at Shen Xiaozhi with some puzzlement, Shen Xiaozhi lowered his head silently, instinctively avoided Chen Zimu's gaze, gritted his teeth, and continued: "You just asked me why I told you now, it was indeed because I was afraid. I know that I am not good enough, not what you like, and there is little intersection in our lives, and there will be no long-term love, so I can imagine that if I rashly come to you and tell you that I like you, even if I am sincere, you may be very moved, but what about after being moved? After being moved, you will deliberately avoid me for fear of embarrassment, and I won't even have a chance to get close to you secretly. So I've been struggling with how to let you know, how to find a way to get closer to you, let you know more about me and then come back to you, maybe there will be a little possibility. I thought about it for a long time, but I couldn't help it, and every day I was a little more desperate, until one day I accidentally received a flyer while shopping. The flyer is sent by an emotional planning company, and they say that they can help people realize their dreams of falling in love with their sweethearts. Believe me, I really have no other way, it's like a person who is about to drown and suddenly finds a life-saving straw, whether it really helps me or not, it's a hope for me, I can't miss it, I have to try. I took all my continuations out and paid the commission fee, and I accepted all the plans they made for me, and did my best to cooperate, including the image makeover, so that you see me now that I am the same person, not the short, chubby tomboy I used to be. Of course, I know that you will not be a person who only values the appearance of girls, otherwise so many beautiful women like you, and you will not be alone until now, but anything that can make you feel a little more good about me, I am willing to try. They help me analyze your experience, personality and preferences according to your Weibo, space, and all the social network dynamics that can be found, and it is also because of this that I can understand you more and try my best to do what he likes. ”

Hearing this, this time Liang Youhuan couldn't sit still, and he couldn't help muttering in a low voice: "Isn't this kid a little dead-eyed?" ”

"Sort of, indeed. But then again, don't you think anyone can be loved by such a stupid child with a dead heart, in fact, it is quite happy? Du Mijin replied to Liang Youhuan with feelings, and suddenly thought that Shen Xiaozhi was still wearing Bluetooth headsets, and he could still hear himself talking, so he cheered Shen Xiaozhi into the headphones and said, "Xiaozhi, it's good!" I'm proud of you. Since you have chosen to tell Chen Zimu everything, then don't be afraid and tell him everything you want to say. Even if he can't accept it, at least you don't have any scheming about this person's relationship. Remember what you said to me when you first came to the store? It's enough to fight once in vain, be worthy of youth, be worthy of yourself, it's enough, come on, you can! ”

After listening to Du Mijin's encouragement, Shen Xiaozhi had the courage to insist on doing so. She took a deep breath, raised her head, met Chen Zimu's complicated eyes, looked back calmly, and continued with a smile: "Actually, I have never read Keigo Higashino's books, I am a science student, and the books I usually read are really limited. I also rarely listen to folk songs, except for some favorite anime episodes in the playlist I usually listen to, I just listen to whatever I feel is good about the melody, and it's purely about the song and not the person. It was only when you chatted that day that I learned that there was a number one person named Lin Xi, who was a lyricist, and many big-name singers were proud to be able to sing the lyrics he wrote, but before that, I didn't know anything about Lin Xi. The book of ancient reasoning that I recommend you to read, it's not what I recommend, everything is what the team behind the scenes is doing, and even the person you chatted with that day wasn't me. I like to wear simple clothes, cotton shirts and jeans, I like to eat sweets and chocolate, although I'm a little fat, I like to watch Japanese anime, but because of copyright issues, I generally watch some TV stations that don't let go of the niche, Conan is definitely not counted, I like to be in a daze and sleep when I'm alone, and occasionally read some youth novels written by Rao Xueman and Xin Yiwu, which is the most fundamental me. But do these things matter to you? If it doesn't matter, then what you need to consider is a Shen Xiaozhi who likes you, without any strings attached. If it matters, I can also reach out and learn all the things you like, just like I forced myself to go to a basketball game, but it might take a little time, and I don't know if you're willing to give me that time to get a little closer to you. What I want to say is that although the tacit understanding between us is packaged by others and is fictional, I like that you are extremely serious about this, and all my changes are also serious. It may be easier to change on the outside, but it may take a little more effort on the inside, just for you, I do. Well, that's all I have to say, that's all. ”

After Shen Xiaozhi finished speaking, he tried to pull out a smile, tilted his head, and looked at Chen Zimu in front of him bravely. She knew that if Chen Zimu refused, this might be the last time she looked at Chen Zimu at close range, she didn't want to make herself look too humble, she hoped that what she would leave Chen Zimu with in her memory was the proud, equal, but loving Shen Xiaozhi with all her heart. It's just that Chen Zimu, who was standing opposite Shen Xiaozhi, had already peeked out the nervousness and concern in her heart from her trembling fingertips. Chen Zimu was uneasy for a while, he didn't know what to say, so he could only ask instinctively: "You said that the team you hired investigated everything about me, including my emotional experience, then you must know everything, right?" ”

"Yes, you know, everything about you, including your past. I don't know how they learned about your past emotional experiences, but I don't want to lie to you, they told me your story in detail. Shen Xiaozhi heard Chen Zimu ask this, and there was a trace of hesitation in his heart. This part is the most difficult part she thinks, and it is also the place where she guesses Chen Zimu does not want to touch the most. For a moment, a thought flashed through Shen Xiaozhi's mind, it was better to tell a lie and prevaricate. But soon, Shen Xiaozhi dispelled this idea. What should come will always come, and no one can hide from what should be faced. Of course, she hopes that Chen Zimu can accept herself, and the two of them will be happy and sweet together, but if she can't, Shen Xiaozhi also hopes that after she completely leaves Chen Zimu's life, Chen Zimu can live well, so she also wants to take this opportunity to help Chen Zimu untie the knot. So Shen Xiaozhi said frankly: "They told me that you once fell in love with a girl, it was your first love, and the other party was much older than you, because of some helpless factors in the outside world, your relationship is not tolerated." The girl is very brave and wants to take you to break free from the shackles of reality and live together with you, but you chose to retreat at the last moment because you were too young, so that the girl left with hatred and let herself regret it to this day. After the girl leaves, you regret it very much, you have not been able to overcome the strong guilt in your heart, so no matter how much temptation you have around you, you choose to be alone, this is the real reason why you have been single until now, right? (To be continued.) )