Lying on the bed at home, the more I thought about it, the more I felt that something was wrong with it. If my father was obviously a gangster in Beijing, why did he never tell me? If this is true, then my grandfather is a gangster? But why did he stay in that small place in Hengyang? And you've never told me anything about it?

My whole mind was like a mess of mush, and a sense of the unknown that I had never felt before rushed over me, and I felt like a fish out of water, unable to find any way out.

I, who had never smoked, suddenly ran downstairs to the store and bought a pack of cigarettes, smoking one by one, as if I wanted to use the smoke to forget all my so-called troubles, even though my choked tears were about to flow out.

The cigarette butts in the ashtray slowly piled up, one by one the cigarette butts seemed to find the brother, slowly overflowing, I seemed to forget the troubles in front of me in this feeling of swallowing clouds and spitting fog, I didn't think about making a phone call to ask my dad clearly, but before the facts were further confirmed, I think I still don't have the courage to uncover all these so-called mysteries, no courage, no better way to accept.

Suddenly there was a sound of unlocking at the door, and when I looked up, Xie Bixia was walking in through the smoky doorway.

"Ahem, Ouyang Mingxuan!! Are you crazy today, smoking so much, don't you know that I hate the smell of smoke the most? I still smoke, this cigarette is not good for the body, and you will die of smoking so much. She said angrily as she glanced at the cigarette butts piled up in the ashtray on the table.

I ignored her anger and inexplicably uttered a sentence "What would you do if one day you found out that your whole life had deceived you and that everything you had lived before was not real?" What to do? He only uttered a few words.

"What's wrong with you? Who lied to you? What did you find? Xie Bixia's eyes suddenly became a little unnatural, and she looked at me so fixedly, as if she was waiting for my next step.

"I suddenly knew some secrets, about my father, he seemed to have a lot of things to hide from me and didn't want me to know, but I suddenly knew, although not sure, but at least not groundless, what do you say I should do? Should I confess to the person I know, or should I wait? ”

"Mingxuan, you have to believe your father, everything he does is for your good, you know? Anyone in this world may harm you and betray you, but only he won't, after all, he is the one who loves you the most, since he hides it from you, then there will definitely be his troubles, so you have to understand him, and when it's time for you to know, he will tell you everything. Believe me" Xie Bixia's eyes had an unprecedented light, I always felt that there was something hidden in her eyes that I didn't know, and I suddenly felt that Xie Bixia's face seemed to be covered with a veil of mystery, and I couldn't guess it.

"Bixia, do you have something to hide from me?" I suddenly felt that Xie Bixia always seemed to be mysterious, the dragon could not see the head but the end, and I couldn't see anyone all day long.

"Hehe, Mingxuan, you're laughing again, what else can I hide from you, don't you know me, and I'm not a person hiding any secrets." Xie Bixia said with a smile, she was also playing the drum in her heart, could it be that he saw something? Or something else, how would he know, didn't my cousin tell him?

"Haha, it's good if you don't have it, it's good if you don't have it, I'm joking with you, you won't really be a person, right, in fact, I'm just teasing you" I looked at her nervous face, and I also had an idea in my heart, I wouldn't really say it.

Without continuing to speak, we suddenly fell into a quiet atmosphere, and both of us sat quietly under the sofa, thinking about each other's hearts. There was a quiet smell in the air, and I suddenly liked this feeling, I liked this feeling of silence without saying anything, maybe I hadn't spent so quietly for too long!

"Alright, I have to go. I'm going to have to go to the bar and sing at the party, I've got to go! "I suddenly wanted to go out and indulge, and singing was a great way to vent.

"You want to go drunk? Don't think about it, I'll go with you," Xie Bixia suddenly said nervously.

"Well, let's go! Evening Li Zecheng. Yang Xin and his girlfriend are estimated to go too, don't worry I'm fine! I just want to sober up. ”

Sitting on the way to the Forgotten Grass Bar, I suddenly felt a sense of relaxation, I liked the feeling of the breeze hitting my face, I liked the relaxed atmosphere, I liked everything I wanted.

"Do you know what I wanted most in the past? In fact, I think what I want has always been very simple, with the person I love, eat together every day, go to work together, get off work together, travel when I have time, walk around, have a home of my own, maybe have a baby of my own in the future, and then watch him grow up, we can grow old together. I don't want much, that's all. Is this the life I want? I suddenly looked at the scenery outside the window and said to Xie Bixia next to me.

"Do you know what I want?"

"What is it?" I suddenly asked a little strangely, after all, Xie Bixia had never told me about this before, after all, I had never asked her.

"Actually, you know what? I've always had a little dream, very small, but it never came true, because I couldn't decide my own destiny and was always at the mercy of it."

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