Back in the cell, it was another sleepless night.

That night, I thought a lot, thinking about the past, thinking about the present, thinking about the future, and I even remembered when I was a child, singing children's songs and holding the sugar gourd that my grandfather bought......

How good those carefree days were, with so many beautiful fantasies, unlike now, the reality that I can't face, and the confusion about the future, and the boundless darkness around me.

At that moment, I finally knew what I was afraid of in my heart, I was afraid of change, especially since I had not changed, but everything outside had changed, and I did not dare to face it at all.

I even wondered why I was only sentenced to five years. Why not fifty years, five hundred years, I'd rather live in a cell for the rest of my life.

The thought that if one day I went out, I would face a world that I didn't know at all, and the thought that so many people who had nothing to do with me and so many things that had become a thing of the past, that feeling of déjà vu and complete strangeness deeply terrified me.

It was like being stuck in a damp and cold quagmire, I struggled in vain, I couldn't make a sound with all my might, I sank little by little, I sank weakly, all the way to my chin, to my nostrils, to my eyes, and finally, the blue sky and a few floating white clouds were no longer visible, and I was completely plunged into a suffocating infinite darkness.

Ahh

I screamed silently in my heart, hysterical screams, I simply couldn't stand such a cruel reality.

No, no, I definitely can't just fall silently, my life shouldn't be ruined by a woman, I shouldn't let other people's mistakes punish me, Cheng Lin, one day I will make you regret it, one day I will ride on you again, enjoy you without pity, I want to make a career, I want X all women in the world!

At that moment, I was almost a little crazy, I tried my best to imagine Cheng Lin's appearance, imagining that she was wearing a white wedding dress, and was hit by my legs apart, and the imaginary Cheng Lin suddenly became Zhang Yanjiao's shy and weak face, she was also a prodigal don't want it, as well as the welcome lady in the hotel, and the waitress in a white shirt and black short skirt, a female bailiff with a heroic and upright face, my former female classmates, female colleagues, female neighbors, and even every woman I have ever seen in my life......

Whew――

Finally, in a state of near-madness, I fell into a state of weakness.

It was a feeling that I had just died, and I was finally alive again, and I was calm again.

Yes, since you are not dead, you should face life bravely, even if you can't see any hope ahead, even if every step you take is bumpy and thorny, what can you do? I'm still going to move on, because I'm not dead yet, so I shouldn't stop.

In the days that followed, I had figured it out, and I began to actively prepare for the days after I was released from prison.

During the labor reform, I did my best, never lazy, and let the sweat flow, because I wanted to exercise a strong body.

When I have nothing to do, I go to the library that is almost furnished to read books, I read everything, because I know that the knowledge in books is my only bridge of communication with the outside world, as long as I don't want to be eliminated by the world, I have to study all the time.

Sometimes my fellow inmates beat me for no reason when they saw me as an alternative, and I didn't say a word, letting them add their fists and kicks, and I wanted to exercise my own resilience and endurance.

It seemed like a bitter time, but it was more fulfilling than every day I had spent in prison before.

At night, I don't have insomnia anymore, and I can't sleep occasionally, I just imagine Cheng Lin and Zhang Yan and other women squirting up, but it's no longer a morbid vent, I know what I'm doing clearly, it's just a pleasure, so that I can fall asleep as soon as possible.

Time passed day by day, and I finally ushered in the day I was released from prison.

Due to my good behavior in prison, my sentence was commuted twice, and I was released from prison in less than three years.

That day, my fellow inmates watched me walk out of the cell, and they said, "You kid is really durable, you're a man," and some said, who is the woman who often X in your kid's dreams, and when you go out, go to X her openly, but don't make a mistake, you are not welcome to come back here.

Anyway, there are all kinds of words, and I didn't expect them to be able to say a word of proficiency in their mouths, I just patted them on the shoulder one by one, and I said, I will remember you, and when we meet them in the outside world one day, we will drink and not get drunk.

After taking a simple shower and taking back the little things that belonged to me from the warehouse two years ago, the prison guard Zhang Peng escorted me to the door.

The big iron gate was still closed, and I could only see the outside world through the small open door, and I walked through it step by step, as if walking towards a hopeful tomorrow.

It was sunny that day, the sky was blue, Zhang Peng sent me to the door, he said, keep going out, I believe you will not come back, just don't be so impulsive in the future.

I glanced at him and said, thank you, I am grateful for Zhang Peng's trust, among all the prison guards, I am the most familiar with Zhang Peng, he knows what happened to me, and he takes care of me, he used to often tell me that in his eyes, I am not a criminal at all, I am just a bloody and impulsive young man, who has never been young, just don't go the wrong way.

Zhang Peng waved his hand and said, logically speaking, you have not committed a crime, so don't carry too much ideological baggage for yourself after you go out, my duty is to enforce the law, and the law is ruthless, but ......

I thought that Zhang Peng's next statement would take a turn, but no, he just said, but I am more respectful and reasonable.

I thank him again, and I mean that you are a good cop, and a good cop with a human touch is a good cop.

Zhang Peng laughed and said, let's go, there are too many things like human feelings, I'm afraid I will deteriorate.

I bowed deeply to him to thank Zhang Peng for taking care of me for the past two years, and then I turned around and walked out of the prison wall without looking back.

It was two very different worlds for me.

The outside world is beautiful, even the air is fresh, full of the fragrance of flowers and plants, it is spring, everything is so hopeful.

Then I saw Zhang Yan, who was waving to me in front of a yellow Toyota car.

Zhang Yan was wearing a dress that fit very well, outlining her pretty and beautiful curves, the spring breeze gently floated her skirt, and her hair was full of hair, she raised her hand and gently swept the corners of her forehead, and walked towards me with a smile.

I didn't expect Zhang Yan to come to pick me up, and her overall freshness and brightness at this time, as well as her smile like a spring breeze, all show incomparable purity, which reminds me of the wanton YY that I once had no bottom line for her in prison, the two are in stark contrast, it is a completely different feeling.

But I am not ashamed in the slightest, because I can no longer be bothered by some superficial illusions, and I have become accustomed to evaluating everyone who appears around me with an absolutely objective attitude.

So I walked towards Zhang Yan with a casual smile, but I kept thinking in my heart, I didn't expect Zhang Yan to come to pick me up from prison, how did she know, and what kind of reason did she have?