In the next few days, I only met Zhang Lijuan once.

When we saw her in the workshop that day, neither of us showed the slightest embarrassment, we were both calm and calm, because nothing really happened between us, so what was there to be embarrassed about.

For the experience that we once had together, maybe we haven't really forgotten, as for whether we have touched each other anything, we can't know, because no one understands each other's hearts, it's just an indescribable memory, we tacitly regard everything as a secret, a secret belonging to the two of us, buried in the bottom of our hearts forever.

But when Zhang Lijuan and I look at each other, there seems to be something unspeakable hidden in each other, is that our heart? Have we both appeared in each other's dreams? What happened to us in our dreams?

I don't know, these questions obviously can't have answers, even if we open our hearts, it's just a dream, what's more, we don't open our hearts, we all have our own lives, we are destined to not be able to intersect, we can only look at each other from afar.

It's just that compared to me, a certain feeling seems to be getting stronger and stronger, I don't know if it's a kind of longing for Zhang Lijuan, I only know that I often think of her, think of her purity, think of her words and deeds, smile, occasionally and sometimes, I also think of Zhang Lijuan's impure side.

Of course, the so-called impurity is actually that I am not pure, and those scenes have nothing to do with Zhang Lijuan herself.

Just like Zhang Lijuan's unintentional departure, as well as the pair of naughty and cute little white rabbits, when I hugged her tightly, the unique girlish atmosphere, the indescribable softness and temperature when I was hard and tight, and even her expression when she was in a hurry, the entanglement and sorrow in her eyes, I would think of it from time to time, and even dream.

Maybe I shouldn't think about Zhang Lijuan like this, because it's very impure, but the problem is that there are some things that don't mean that you shouldn't think about them, so you can't think about them.

Human beings are such animals, especially for the subtle feelings between men and women, it is always difficult to control, and it seems that the more tangled things are, the more often they will think of them, and they will not be able to hold them at all.

Just like now, I am with Zhang Yan, and we are even doing that kind of thing, but at a certain critical moment, Zhang Yan in front of me has inexplicably become Zhang Lijuan, she distorts her pretty face like Zhang Yan, and indulges in releasing herself.

That feeling, it really doesn't seem like an illusion, the woman I am galloping across can be completely replaced by Zhang Lijuan, and when I am confused, I really confuse the two of them.

Maybe doing this kind of thing with Zhang Lijuan is almost the same feeling as it is now.

I suddenly felt very excited, I began to think of Zhang Yan as Zhang Lijuan, I didn't hide my mood at all, and in the end, I couldn't help but shout Zhang Lijuan's name.

Then I came to my senses after a strong eruption, and at that moment, I knew something was wrong.

Zhang Yanzheng looked at me without blinking, the expression on her face was like no expression, I don't know how she could still be so calm, I just think, this is a warning before the storm, yes, what woman can endure this situation? I didn't dare to look at Zhang Yan's eyes.

Zhang Yan finally spoke, her voice still calm.

Zhang Yan looked at me without blinking and said, "Han Bin, have you met the girl you like?" ”

"I ......"

I don't know how to answer, especially Zhang Yan is still so calm, I am a little at a loss, after all, I am still thinking about other women at this time, I am really sorry for her.

"I think so, actually, you don't have to be embarrassed to admit it."

Zhang Yan sighed faintly, she didn't lose her temper, she hugged me instead, buried her head in my chest, like a wronged kitten.

I felt pity and shame in my heart, I wanted to hold Zhang Yan in my arms, but my arm seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, and I felt that I had no face to hug her anymore.

Zhang Yan naturally put my arm on her shoulder, she sighed again, and was silent for a long time before saying, "Han Bin, I remember that you asked me before, what kind of heart knot I have that I can't open for you, I think it's time to tell you." ”

"Zhang Yan ......"

A wordless sadness suddenly welled up in my heart, I wanted to say something, but Zhang Yan covered my mouth with her little hand, and she said faintly: "Han Bin, you listen to me first, I hope you can understand my heart for you." ”

I nodded silently, I don't think I'm in a position to say anything more right now.

Zhang Yan said in a calm voice: "Actually, my heart knot is very simple, and it has nothing to do with others, only me and you." ”

I was slightly stunned, because I always thought that Zhang Yan's so-called heart knot came from her lack of courage to face a new life, maybe she was disappointed in her marriage, or maybe she still had a lot of things that she couldn't let go, but I never knew that Zhang Yan's so-called heart knot was only me and her.

Zhang Yan continued: "Han Bin, in fact, I knew from the beginning that you didn't really love me, you just liked me, or, just moved by me for a while, but it is this that I often worry about, yes, I moved you, so the two of us can be together, but what if one day, you are not moved? How do we deal with each other? Love really doesn't have everything by being moved. ”

"I ......"

I suddenly didn't know what to say, and Zhang Yan didn't let me speak, her little hand covered my mouth again.

"Han Bin, I know you, as early as before, you were too affectionate for Cheng Lin, so at that time, although I loved you more than once, although I dreamed of having you, I also knew that it was impossible, I could only silently have a crush on you, and I loved you very deeply."

"It wasn't until later that that kind of unpleasant thing happened between you and Cheng Lin, I knew that you were very hurt, and when you were in prison, I cried for you more than once, but I was thinking, maybe, I can finally have a chance to love you, I will never be as cowardly as before, I even thought, for you, I can completely let go of a woman's vanity, and I can even take the initiative to confess to you."

"Fortunately, you confessed to me first that day, I was nervous and happy, I really ...... that day For the first time, I really enjoyed the joy of being a woman, and I was finally able to be with the person I loved the most, and I will never forget that feeling in my life. ”

"Later, we are finally together, in the days with you, I am happy every minute, just like a little girl who has just fallen in love, I will be nervous, I will be relieved, I will be sweet, I will be satisfied, I feel as if I have returned to the former girlhood, with you by my side, I have forgotten all the troubles in life, yes, as long as I have you, what other troubles do I have? My biggest trouble in the past was because I didn't have you, and all my unhappiness was because I couldn't get you. ”