If it were a few years ago, I would still be the girl who didn't know the height of the sky, I would definitely try my best to find out where Hu Xiaodong lived, and then make a surprise confession to him, how to toss and how to come, how to be romantic, how to be cheap.

But now I can't do it, even if I want to do it, I can't do it, not because I'm mature, but because I want to be faced.

My buddy told me that the symbol of maturity is that this person is pretending to be B less and less. This is the truth. It's not that I don't want to pretend to be B, it's that I can't pretend to be B because I'm tortured by reality. Because reality is the most pretending, even if we pretend to be in the B box, it will be eclipsed in front of reality.

All I have to do now is walk barefoot across a few streets and then go back to the hotel to find a pair of shoes.

The older I get, the more I don't know what I really want, and that's how I am anyway. Someone asked me how I feel about Hu Xiaodong now, and I said, I don't know.

I don't know exactly what it feels like, I just know that if this moment were the end of the world, he would be the first person I wanted to meet.

The first time I met Hu Xiaodong's hotel in Beijing, I still stayed in the same room.

It's just about one night, there is no arrival of Gong Xiaoyi, no arrival of Hu Xiaodong, and no snoring of Xiaoxuan'er.

I was lying on my own huge bed, my body sunk in the soft futon without support, and I looked at the ceiling and felt like the world was spinning.

I didn't look at the time when I fell asleep, I woke up as if it was my own dream, I dreamed that Hu Xiaodong rang the doorbell in my room that morning, his smile was the same as always, he said to me, let's go to dinner together.

I woke up laughing, and the doorbell was still ringing.

I felt that I could go back to my past by opening the door, and there would still be Xiao Xuan'er sleeping next to me and Hu Xiaodong inviting me to the past. Maybe when I open the door, as if it didn't happen, my parents will still happily wait for me at home for dinner. That door must have carried my happiness, just like when Hu Xiaodong and I pushed open the ancient door in the villa.

So I couldn't wait, I hurriedly went barefoot to open the door, I didn't even have time to put on my shoes, because I could detect that the person standing at the other end of the door must be Hu Xiaodong. He must have been impatient.

But the moment I opened the door, I was greeted with an apocalyptic light. My front was blank, except for the moment when I was frustrated about closing the door and accidentally glanced at the cup on the floor.

I said that I would never cry again, but at this second I broke the embankment, because this cup was made by my own hand, and my name and his name were engraved on it, and I also childishly wrote down my inner secret with a silver pen. This cup will only flicker in the dark night, as long as he has held it in the palm of his hand, as long as it has been in his room, as long as the lights in his room are out, he will see the silver light: I love you.

The next second, I lost my mind, holding the cup and standing at the door, shouting without an image.

"Hu Xiaodong, you kind of come out for me. What is your appearance like this! I kept looping this sentence indefinitely, until my voice was hoarse and I cried until I couldn't help it, and then I slowly slid down against the wall and sat on the ground curled up holding myself.

"Hu Xiaodong, I don't want you to be just my dream, I want you, I just want to be with you"

He hid in a blind corner that I couldn't see, and quietly covered his chest and said, Gu Ningdai, my heart hurts

We are sometimes very naïve, knowing that we will not be able to return to the original point and still like to play sensationalism.

But I am only after I realize it, and I am willing to tell you in the air after I lose it, I love you, and I am willing to love you regardless of it. But hiding in the real Middle East where there is a qiē all zài.

He has returned all the items I remember, and I understand his intentions. I don't want to dwell on the past anymore.

It's winter, it's cold, and this year it's unusually cold.

In Beijing, a bottomless city, all talents will struggle to sink to the bottom of the sea if they don't meet opportunities.

If it weren't for the opportunity, I would still be living the days of flowers in the greenhouse under the protection of my parents, I took my daughter, my parents took me, and every word and deed of our mother and every move was under the control of our parents. It is because I am a wild horse that I don't want to be tied down that I have a dream. In this society, if you want to get ahead, you have to face loneliness, heartbreak, and sacrifice.

I've seen too many girls go to great lengths to get what they want, and too many women have sacrificed their bodies to get what they deserve.

I keep saying that all my luck is earned by my own efforts, but in fact, I don't rely on luck at all, but who my father is.

Just because of my father, no one wants to uncover me. Just because of my father, I got a lot of passes. I went out with my talent and ambition, and when everyone saw my name, they would say my father's name with admiration.

Like now I am turned away, not because my talent is not in place, and it is not because the company can't sneak into me that I resent, but because my father's company has changed dramatically and no longer invests in and sponsors our company. So the boss of our film and television company told me: "You go find and invest in making your own movie!" ”

My life has reached a low point, my relatives have either died or fallen down, I am either divorced or out of love, and my career is either brilliant or bankrupt. My life is 25 years old, and when I am about to enter 26 years, my style of painting has changed dramatically. The water flows down, it's true. My black fairy tale is called: Snow White and Cinderella's One Night.

After leaving Beijing, my weight skyrocketed by 30 pounds, and my original 90-pound figure became invincible and bloated.

Later, I learned that Jieyu had eaten a particularly effective diet pill, and she could pull wildly for more than ten days with just one pill, so I quickly took a pill and sat on the toilet while she was not paying attention. As a result, I sat down until dark and didn't feel anything, so I sat on the toilet and swallowed ten grains in one gulp. I was so satisfied, I changed my posture with a smile on my face, and continued to sit and brew my stomach. As a result, I learned a truth, people are unlucky, and they even bully you with poop. People pull one grain for ten days, but I don't even pull ten grains once.

The only thing to be thankful for during these days is that An Xiaoke moved to my house with Jieyu, one for me to do laundry and cook, and the other to take care of Xiaoxuan'er for me.

They kept saying that they were afraid that I wouldn't be able to open it, and I looked very kind for my good. In fact, my family has not stopped since they moved in, these two talk on the phone for several hours, sometimes I get up in the middle of the night to drink water will see them lying on their backs under the sofa snoring, I used to see that the phone is still on the phone, pick up the phone and listen, even the end is snoring.

My dream now is no longer to buy a big villa, or to buy a dozen or so cars that I like to match the clothes I wear that day. My dream now is very low, I want to sell my house and car and make some pictures of my own book.

They were surprised to learn of my decision.

Jieyu said me. "Gu Ningdai, you can't get along with anyone at all, you can't get along with your own life. The film market has been very sluggish in recent years, and you should know better than anyone. Even if the movie is good now, you can't joke about the house, wow. In case of loss, where will you live then, and where will Xiao Xuan'er live? ”

Xiao Ke also followed Jie Yu to persuade me. "Why do you have to make a movie? Now that you have a house and a car, you can find a rich, pleasing man to marry while you are young. ”

They seemed smarter than the other, but they didn't understand me after all. Married? Who to marry? Even if someone marries me, even if he loves Xiao Xuan'er, who can guarantee that he can give me a lifetime?

There are many women who rely on their looks or rely on their talents to marry rich businessmen, and finally failed to withstand the years, this pig-killing knife was tragically divorced, and it is not for nothing that they have lived a lonely life, and some seem to live the life of rich wives. If a man can be relied on, do I still need to fight desperately for wealth and status?

I finally sold the car and house, and took Xiao Xuan'er with heavy luggage and planned to move to Xiao Ke. The man who bought my house was a gentleman in a suit and leather shoes, and he told me that he had no plans to move in in recent years, and that I could buy it back if he moved in before he moved in.

I am very nostalgic for this house, it carries my past with Xiao Xuan'er, our songs and laughter. Before I moved out, I looked at every corner, and I was very reluctant, but for the sake of my dreams, for the sake of fighting for breath, let alone the house.

Xiao Xuan'er tugged on the door frame and didn't let go, she cried and screamed not to move out, this is her home.

I couldn't bear it, so I could only ask the buyer shamelessly: "Do you plan to keep this house empty if you don't live in the near future?" ”

"That's right!"

"Then why don't you rent it to me! I'll give you 100,000 back! Then I will pay you rent every year. ”

He was incredulous at first, but when he saw my pleading face, he smiled. "You don't have to refund my money, you can live! Empty anyway, it's empty! ”

"Thank you!" He is really a living Lei Feng who has not met in a hundred years, and I am grateful to hold his arm and rub it hard. The only thing I can repay him now is to express how touched I am.

My buyer's name is Pan Feng, and he asked me if the house opposite is for sale.

I said, the house opposite is my hair small, I haven't seen him for a long time, but I can tell you the contact information.

I asked him why he bought so many houses. He said that as long as he started spending money, he couldn't stop.