Sure enough, Si Liya was obviously stunned when she heard this, she probably never thought that I would say such a thing to her.

Although the two of us often make some jokes similar to this, those are harmless, and Si Liya's personality is also very cheerful, so even if there are some aspects that go beyond the slightest, Si Liya will not worry too much about me.

It's just that this time it's different, I asked her to face (0) cannon, and I even said it so suddenly, she must not have been mentally prepared at all, and my straightforward teasing is too disrespectful to her.

So I also regret it a little when I say it, and I'm very weak-hearted, I feel that I really shouldn't deserve it.

Si Liya began to look at me very carefully, she didn't say a word, she seemed to want to get to know me again, I saw Si Liya frowning slightly, she frowned and looked good.

But I also felt that there was something very raw between the two of us, a sense of invisible distance, and I knew that it was all the result of my abruptness and recklessness, and I shouldn't have teased her so recklessly.

But there is no way, things are already like this, if Si Liya is really angry because of this, let her attack me, I am willing to bear the consequences, I even hope that Si Liya can give me a slap in the face, and it is good to drink it as a head, my current mood is still very depressed, and it is all depression that causes trouble.

However, Si Liya did not lose her temper, her personality is free and cheerful, but she is definitely not an impulsive woman.

So Si Liya didn't slap me on the spot, she just looked at me very calmly.

"Han Bin, is your heart very painful?"

The two of us were silent for a while, but Si Liya said such a sentence, and she didn't lose her temper.

I suddenly discovered another side of Si Liya, she is not only a calm woman, but also a very careful woman, she can see the essence of things through superficial phenomena, which is a virtue that many people cannot have, especially women.

But Si Liya did it, she didn't beat me to death with a stick because of my excessive words, she actually considered the reason for this situation from my standpoint, maybe she had guessed something, Si Liya was still very calm.

Indeed, I was in a lot of pain, and it was because of this that I said what I just said without thinking, it was just a catharsis in my heart, and it didn't really have any purpose.

However, hurtful words are still said after all, and unintentional offense does not mean that there is no fault, the difference is only whether the other party can understand it.

I didn't expect Si Liya to understand, she still regarded me as a friend, and in turn cared about me, but I was a little afraid to face Si Liya's gaze.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I really ...... just now It's a bit excessive. ”

I said this like a defeated rooster, and I silently walked to the balcony, thinking that I should really calm down.

I opened the window, and the night breeze blew in.

The higher the floor, the more I could feel the wind blowing hard, my hair was blown by the night wind, and my clothes were grinning, I felt like I was standing on a cliff by the sea, the only difference was that instead of the endless sea, there was a darkness that seemed to be full of flowers.

Si Liya came over and closed the window, and then she stood silently beside me, and began to look out the window, and then turned her head to look at me, and then she quickly turned her head away, and I suddenly couldn't help but be amused by her.

I said, what are you doing, your head is like a rattle, why are you so childish?

Si Liya smiled and said: "What's wrong with being childish, children are the happiest people in the world, because they don't understand anything, but they are happier, so once I am unhappy, I imagine myself as a child who doesn't understand anything, so unconsciously, my mood is relieved, and those unhappy things are swept away." ”

"Can it really be that simple?" I'm still a little confused.

"Simple or not, it just depends on your heart." Si Liya said seriously, "There are some things you want to let go, you can naturally let go, and if you can't let go, don't force yourself to let go, we should learn to think like a child, don't think so complicated, for example, you can't let go now, why force yourself to let go?" Or is it really good that you don't want to face a certain fact and torture yourself in a senseless way? You're just going to get deeper and deeper. ”

I didn't know what the problem was, but now, I seem to understand a little.

Because I have been avoiding, I obviously can't forget Cheng Lin, but I have always wanted to force myself to forget her, and even did not hesitate to use other women to fill the gap in my heart, I went against my own will, not to mention the deviation from the direction, I have gone further and further on the diametrically opposite road.

However, although the truth is like this, the problem is that there is a key point in this that I can't explain, it is like a dead knot, I can't untie this dead knot, and then this dead knot gradually turns my life into a dead game, and no matter how clever a chess player is, he can't solve this dead game.

That dead knot is, although the woman I have never forgotten is Cheng Lin, but it is not the current Cheng Lin, but the previous Cheng Lin, I can simplify complex problems in the way of Si Liya, but what is the point of doing that?

I can indeed go to find Cheng Lin, it's not that I can't find it, but what if I find it?

Although she is obviously Cheng Lin, she is not the Cheng Lin I want, the person I really like no longer exists, she is just an illusory image in my memory.

So this is a dead knot, such a dead knot, how can I untie it? Who can unravel it?

This kind of pain, Si Liya can't understand, even if she understands, it's useless, the dead knot can't be untied after all, I don't need anyone's sympathy.

So after a moment of silence, I let out a long breath of realization, and I pretended to have figured it out.

"That's right, why didn't I think of it before, the complex problem is simplified, why bother mediocre people, that's what I'm talking about, that's the truth, great, listen to your words, it's better than reading a book for ten years, I didn't expect so many years of trouble to be broken by you in one word, I figured it out at once, haha......"

I pretended to be happy, so Si Liya smiled happily, she thought that she had helped me solve my inner troubles, and if I looked at it from the perspective of a friend, she was very pleased.

I also feel very relieved, if I pretend to be happy can bring happiness to others, then I would rather pretend to be happy, I don't want others to be unhappy because of me, that's my own problem,

But the dead knot in my heart is still there, and I really can't untie it.

So when I turned my eyes, I still didn't feel a wry smile.

Thankfully, only I know that feeling, and I won't let it affect anyone again.