At 12 o'clock in the afternoon, the strong light is blocked from the door by the shoji paper window, and the interior seems quiet and soft.

There was a six-fold room, a long wooden dining table that could accommodate eight people, and I was the only one sitting on the tatami mat.

The kimono-clad waiter pushed the sliding door and entered, and on the tray in his hand was the sushi and sashimi I had just ordered. She placed the plates on the table one by one, and asked me, "Miss, do you need to order some more?" ”

I thought about it for a moment and asked her, "Is sake easy to get drunk, and I came by car, will drinking a little bit be considered drunk driving?" ”

She smiled: "Probably not, the degree is very shallow." And our sake here is made from junmai, and it has a good taste, so you can try it. ”

I nodded and said, "Okay, then bring me a vial." ”

The waiter said, "Okay." She bowed and stepped back, her hands folded in front of her with her plates, the service here was orthodox Japanese.

When the waiter brought the sake up, I poured out a small glass of wine and started to move my chopsticks.

After killing one tempura shrimp and one salmon, there was finally movement in the next room.

Everything is good in Japanese-style restaurants, but the worst thing is about this sound insulation effect, just a sliding door with roe papier-mâché paste, which can't isolate any sound.

I carefully and slowly put my chopsticks back on the table, picked up the glass and took a sip, maybe it was really Junmai, the sake alcohol flavor was mellow and strong.

The man who came in with the door next door had a voice that I was familiar with, and I could hear the rustling of clothes, and judging by the sound, he was seated no more than five paces behind me. He said, "Why did you book here, I remember you didn't like to eat Japanese food. ”

Another voice replied: "Isn't this place closer to your company, Mr. Qin, you are so busy, you have to work and prepare other things, I have to seize this lunch time to catch up with you." ”

After a few seconds of silence, Qin Yan's voice sounded: "Ah Yi, I'm not here to eat, just say it if you have something to say, you don't need so much foreshadowing, it's useless to me." ”

Zhao Yi seemed to smile: "Okay, I want to ask a lot of questions, come one by one, why do you suddenly want to get married?" ”

I bit the rim of the cup, heard the sound of the teacup slamming on the table, and after a few seconds, Qin Yan said: "Marriage and childbirth are the same as birth, old age, sickness and death, a normal thing in life, how do you want me to answer you?" ”

Zhao Yi seemed to sneer: "But you seem to have forgotten that you once had a fiancée, and her whereabouts are still unknown." ”

Qin Yan's voice was still calm: "Two years of missing people can be declared missing, and four years can be declared dead." It's been seven years, can't I give up? ”

"How dare you say such a thing? You know that Cen Jia is not dead, she just doesn't have the courage to come back! ”

"Is it my fault that she didn't come back?"

"You're not wrong? If you protect her, what will happen to her? You don't feel guilty at all? ”

"I'm not guilty that I won't look for her for that long, but since she doesn't want to come back, I think she thinks her life will be better."

"What do you know? You don't know anything at all, you don't know how she's spent all these years! ”

The words stopped suddenly, and after a while, I heard Qin Yan say lightly, "So you always knew?" You know, it's she who wants you to know, she doesn't want me to know, then I'll fulfill her. ”

Zhao Yi sneered again: "The way you can achieve it is to find someone to marry casually?" ”

There was no response to this question, and I took another sip of sake while holding the wine glass, and heard Zhao Yi continue: "Do you think you can clear it with the past two in this way?" But you must be too selfish, for the sake of you and other women, to catch up with an innocent person. How old is that girl, in her early twenties? At such a good age, married to you, and you don't love her, what can you give her? ”

After being silent for a long time, Qin Yan whispered, "That's my business. ”

Zhao Yi smiled: "The most I hear is because of your family's business, that's why you want to marry that woman, right?" ”

Qin Yan said: "As you understand, I have no opinion." ”

Zhao Yi was silent for a while: "Then if I can convince Cen Jia to come back, will you change your decision?" ”

Qin Yan was also silent for two seconds: "I don't want to discuss this meaningless assumption with you. ”

Zhao Yi forced him to ask, "Do you dare to give me a promise?" If she's willing to come back, you're going to give up your current engagement? ”

After a long silence, I finally heard Qin Yan's voice: "I don't make such boring promises, let's stop here, I'll go first." ”

The sound of the sliding door rang, and I heard Zhao Yi finally say: "Qin Yan, Cen Jia has suffered from depression for seven years because of stress disorder, she is almost well, she just needs a little time, you give her a little more time." ”

There was no sound from the next door, only the sound of footsteps walking straight away. I picked up my chopsticks again and lowered my head to solve the plate of udon noodles in front of me. After a minute, the sliding door behind me opened, and footsteps came to me from behind. I looked up, and Zhao Yi sat down across from me.

He looked at me with a proud expression: "Miss Li, have you listened to everything?" ”

I looked at him at the same level and said, "I heard it all, but I didn't hear him promise you to break the marriage with me." ”

Zhao Yi closed his eyes slightly, it was a contemptuous and unbelievable expression, and after a few seconds, he said: "Miss Li, you are a daughter who was raised from Zhong Mingding's family, do you really have no self-esteem at all, are you really willing to be a third party?" Even if you don't have self-esteem, you know that Qin Yan didn't marry you because of love, so do you think he will be happy if he is tied to you? You say you like him, but in terms of behavior, you don't really want him to do good. ”

I was silent for half a minute, and I have to say that his last words pierced my soft underbelly, making me feel a little pain in my chest, and I tried my best to suppress the feelings in my heart: "What happened to Cen Jia you said, and why did she leave him suddenly?" ”

He paused for a moment, did not answer immediately, the expression on his face became a little gloomy and heavy, and it was a long time before he spoke: "Something very unfortunate happened to her, and it is the worst nightmare for any girl. A criminal gang, five or six people, robbed her, slashed her several times, and ...... She was only about the same age as you are now, and you can think about it with your heart, if you were violated like that, would you still be able to face the situation in front of you casually? I think most people will feel that it is better to live than to die. ”

It took me a few seconds to fully understand what he meant by the aggression, my hand scratching at the corner of my shirt under the table, and my chest skipped several beats, I don't know why I had such a panicked reaction, maybe because of a similar encounter with him a few days ago, or maybe because of something else.

Zhao Yi continued: "You can think about it empathically, if it were you, on the one hand, there was an emotionless contract marriage, and on the other hand, you had been looking for the old love for many years, what would you want to choose?" Miss Li, you didn't see the expression on Qin Yan's face just now, he was not as firm as you sounded. ”

After a long stalemate, I tried to make my tone appear natural and calm, and I said, "Mr. Zhao, I already know the cause and effect of the incident. But I also hope you can understand that the choice of marriage is not something I can make alone, it is a matter for two people. You forced me to sacrifice myself, and that's not fair to me. But I can promise you that if Cen Jia comes back one day, and at that time Qin Yan is willing to give up on me and choose her...... If there really is a day, I promise you, I will quit. ”

When I came out of the hotel, I walked around the city a lot, but I didn't know where to go.

I drove from the city center to the suburbs until the glow in front of the car turned orange, and then I turned the car around and went back to the city, to his house where Qin Yan had brought me last time.

I went upstairs and rang the doorbell, but no one was home. I was stunned for a moment before I suddenly remembered that Qin Yan seemed to have a few residences in N City, and he usually went back to the nearest place depending on the situation, maybe he wouldn't come back here tonight.

I sat down in the doorway and buried my head in my knees, but in just two days, things had turned out a little more than I had expected. It is true that I never expected Qin Yan to love me so much, but at that time, I thought that as long as he liked me a little, it was enough. The incident that happened the other day even made me feel as if he cared about me a little more than he thought. But today, when Zhao Yi spoke, I roughly figured it out, and it turned out that the reason for Qin Yan to deal with the Song family unusually was not that I was framed, but maybe those things touched the bottom of his past pain.

More than two months of memories came one after another, and I remembered a lot of details that made me doubt myself, such as his carelessness about the details of Yiqiē's wedding, such as how happy he would be when I danced four little swans to tease him, and for example, all my relatives and friends around me asked me to think carefully.

However, I was unwilling to think that there was not a line in "Casablanca", that she had walked into me in so many towns and towns in the world, in so many taverns in towns. Obviously, so many people like him, but Qin Yan chose me, and there will be no reason for him.

Almost as I was drowning in this struggling and contradictory relationship, a voice suddenly called me overhead: "Buckwheat." ”

I raised my head from my knees, Qin Yan looked at me from top to bottom, his eyebrows frowned slightly, and there was a little surprised and confused expression.

I reacted for a moment, stood up on the ground, and tried to smile at him, "You're back?" ”

He looked at me with a look of tiredness on his face: "When did you come, why didn't you make a call beforehand?" ”

I tried to be as natural as I could and said, "Oh, I didn't come on purpose, I was just passing by...... I thought you should be off work soon, so I didn't call you, and who knows that you never came back, so I fell asleep. ”

He pursed the corners of his lips very shallowly, handed me the bag in his hand, and then turned his face to open the fingerprint lock, and after the security door opened, he debugged and said: "Record one for you too, next time you come into the house and wait." ”

I didn't react too much, he grabbed his right hand and pressed his index finger on the screen three times, then he closed the door again and said, "Try it." ”

I put my hand on it and tried it, and the door opened again with a bang. He opened the door and entered, and I followed him. After entering the door, he walked straight in the direction of the bedroom, and said, "Put the bag on the table, pour me a glass of water." ”

I put his laptop bag on the coffee table and went to the table to get his cup. Qin Yan came out of the room and changed into a home clothes. He went to the living room to turn on the air conditioner and asked me, "When did you come and did you eat?" ”

I lied and said, "I watched a movie with her at my friend's house this afternoon and came here late in the evening after dinner." ”

He hummed softly, and I hesitated again and said, "What about you, what have you done today?" ”

He replied casually: "It was a one-day meeting." He walked slowly from the living room again, "What good movies have you watched?" ”

I bowed my head and took the kettle from the table and poured water into the cup: "It's nothing, it's just "Roman Holiday", "Broken Blue Bridge" and so on. ”

He stopped across the table, and there was no emotion: "It's all old films." ”

I hesitated for a long time, and the water accidentally filled a little. I put the kettle down, looked up at him, and said, "Well, we like to watch old movies, and Shinofei likes Audrey Hepburn the most, and I like Vivien Leigh." ”

Qin Yan stretched out his hand to take the water cup in my hand, lowered his eyes and thought for a moment: "Vivien Li? "Gone with the Wind"? ”

I nodded, "Yes." After a pause, he added, "Xiao Fei didn't like Vivien Leigh so much because she liked Clark Gable very much, and she felt unworthy for Rhett, because she felt that since Scarlett had always liked Ashley, she shouldn't agree to Rhett's marriage proposal." ”

He took a sip of water, his throat moving up and down, and slowly lifted his eyes to look at me. I looked at him and paused, but still asked: "What do you think, Qin Yan, if it were you, would you approve of a loveless marriage?" ”

He held the cup in his hand and looked at me for a while: "Buckwheat, do you want to talk to me about something?" ”

I hesitated for a few seconds and looked at him and nodded slightly: "I want to know why you want to marry me." ”

The expression on his face didn't change at all, only a slight pause: "There are many factors that go into making a decision. ”

I said, "Let's say? ”

His lips moved: "Let's say, you and I have similar family backgrounds, and we have a lot of common interests. ”

I said, "...... Anything else? ”

He lowered his eyes and seemed to think for a long time: "Also, you and my parents are also trying their best to reconcile this matter, and I have no objection to spending the rest of my life with you." ”

My mind seemed to become a huge, barren hollow, and for half a minute, I could barely hear my own voice: "That's not what you said to me then. ”

Qin Yan raised his eyes lightly again, and looked at me for ten seconds and was quiet: "I've always said this to you." Buckwheat, I said I was willing to take care of you. It's still the same, if you want, I'll take care of you as much as I always have, and whatever you want, I'll do my best to meet it. It's just ......" he paused and lowered his voice a little: "I don't know how to love you." ”