Until you really like someone, you may never imagine how much you will feel sorry for someone who is not related by blood.

Yan Shu was now looking at Yu Gui in a daze, feeling that his breath was astringent, and as soon as he inhaled, a series of small tingling pains spread from his nose to his heart and lungs.

He didn't know what he was supposed to say at the moment.

If it is comfort, such a thing as the loss of a loved one, after so many years, no matter how much he says, it will not make much sense, not to mention that Yu Gui has never shown the fragile side that needs comfort.

He seemed to be nothing, but he was still distressed.

"Yan Shu, I'm really fine." Yu Gui shook Yan Shu's hand hard at this time, not wanting him to worry so much.

"Returning to ......"

Yan Shu suddenly turned around and hugged Hui Gui tightly, and at this time he could more deeply realize why words are more reliable than words.

He didn't know what to say, but he knew what to do.

Accompany him, hold him, and integrate all the emotions you want to express but can't express into this simple action.

A hug is worth a thousand words.

After Yu Gui was hugged by him, he didn't speak for a long time.

The body went from being tense at the beginning to slowly relaxing, and finally leaned completely on Yan Shu, closed his eyes and buried his head in his neck socket.

If you really talk about it, Yu Gui has never felt pitiful, and he doesn't particularly need comfort at the moment. But if it was in Yan Shu's arms, he didn't mind letting his sad feelings reveal a little.

No matter how long it has been, the feeling in my heart when the memories are touched is the same as it was back then, but the outside is wrapped in layers of barriers by the years, so that people can face it more calmly.

I don't know how long I hugged like this, a few minutes or ten minutes, Yu Gui didn't deliberately measure it, but he just wanted to let himself be by a person's side to temporarily unload all the mental burdens, and he didn't have to think about anything, as if his body and mind were relieved for a moment.

After a long time, it was finally Yan Shuxian who loosened his arm a little, gently dropped a kiss in Yu Gui's ear, and said in an extremely mellow voice: "Yu Gui, as long as you want, I will always accompany you." ”

After Yan Shu finished speaking, he felt that Yu Gui's back seemed to stiffen under the palm of his hand, and he didn't respond to his words immediately.

It seems that the last time he was in a Las Vegas hotel, when he wanted Yu Gui to believe in himself, Yu Gui had a similar reaction......

Why would he be so unconfident in such words?

Even if you are a reasonable person, you will be happy when you hear your lover say such things to yourself in the process of falling in love, at least it should not be resistant.

Yan Shu couldn't figure it out, and after pondering for a while, he still couldn't help but ask, "Yu Gui, are you particularly unconfident that we can always be together in the future?" ”

Yu Guizhi got up and looked at Yan Shu's eyes, in which he saw the deliberately suppressed sadness, and his heart instantly became sour.

"Yan Shu, I'm sorry." Yu Gui lowered his head and said.

"I don't believe in any verbal promises and oaths on matters that come after. It's not against you, it's just me, I can't do it. ”

"Why ......"

Yan Shu was engraved with grievances from the tips of his hair to his toes, he took back the arm behind the ring and put it between his legs, and bit his lower lip vigorously before he spoke again: "I know you have your worries, and I can understand it, but Yu Gui--"

Yan Shu's voice suddenly raised, and he turned his head to look at Yu Gui and said more seriously: "--Have you ever thought about how I would feel if you were with me and were always mentally prepared that we would be separated one day in the future?" What should I do if you were ready to part with me from the beginning......"

Yan Shu's hands were getting tighter and tighter in front of him when he spoke, and he could feel that he was very sad in his heart, but he couldn't help but vent it.

"Yan Shu ......"

Yu Gui couldn't help but stretch out his hand to hold Yan Shu's hand, seeing his expression made Yu Gui feel that his body was also cold for a while, the temperature on his hand plummeted, and his fingertips couldn't tell which of the two of them had colder hands when they touched the back of Yan Shu's hand.

"Yan Shu, you misunderstood what I meant, did you listen to me?" Yu Gui grabbed Yan Shu's hand and shook it, motioning for him to look at him.

Yan Shu turned around reluctantly, his expression was so aggrieved that he almost shouted "The baby is going to cry to you", Yu Gui looked at him and felt like a stone in his heart, heavy.

"I never had the intention of breaking up with you one day." Yu Gui looked directly into Yan Shu's eyes and said seriously.

"But didn't you say you didn't believe we would always be together in the future?" Yan Shu said with his right hand and pulling the index finger of his left hand.

Yu Gui paused slightly, he didn't want his casual words to cause any misunderstanding to Yan Shu, but after thinking about it again and again, he felt that his thoughts would hurt people no matter what he said, so he could only tell the truth......

"Yan Shu," Yu Gui sighed softly, took back his cold fingers, and held them tightly by his side, before taking a deep breath and saying, "I can't believe what will happen in the future, it's completely my personal psychological problem. ”

He paused and continued: "When I was in junior high school, I liked a boy in the class, and he liked me too, and we confessed to each other, although secretly, but we also felt very happy. But in the first semester of the third year of junior high school, when my dad left, because my heart was too uncomfortable, so I became very dependent on him, almost to the end of the Cheng dù who couldn't leave all the time, and he was also very accommodating to me, always staying by my side as much as possible, comforting me, I am really grateful for what he did for me at that time, if it wasn't for him, I would probably ......" Yu Gui shook his head and smiled lightly when he said this: "I can't imagine what will happen to me." ”

Yan Shu was a little stunned when he heard this, because he was actually a little bitter in his heart when he talked about the person he once liked, but he was more distressed, because he could roughly guess the ending of this story.

Yu Gui got up from the bed at this time, probably feeling a little depressed, so he leaned on the desk before saying: "However, because the two of us got along too closely during that time, as long as people who are not blind can see that there is a problem, some classmates began to make all kinds of bad jokes about the relationship between the two of us, which is fine, but then someone reported this matter to the head teacher, and the head teacher called us to the office for questioning, and when asked about his relationship with me, he actually admitted that he liked me, The expression on our teacher's face at that time can only be described as frightened. ”

"That'...... And then what? Yan Shu couldn't help but ask.

Yu Gui raised his head and looked at the ceiling, the corners of his mouth hooked upward, and he said in a faint voice: "And ah...... Then the head teacher called the parents. At that time, there were no adults in my house, my grandmother was hospitalized because of my father's affairs, and other relatives were not close enough to come to the point where they could come as temporary guardians, so there were no parents on my side who could come. But his parents came to his house, and his mother hugged him and cried as soon as she entered the door after hearing the head teacher tell him about it, and his father ......"

Yu Gui sighed slightly.

Yan Shu held his breath, feeling that his heart was in his throat.

"His dad checked with him again to see if he really liked me, and he said yes, and then his dad broke one of his legs in front of me. It's true, interrupted. ”

"How can you ......" Yan Shu was a little stunned, moved his lips, but didn't say the second half of the sentence.

At this time, Yu Gui had a real wry smile on his face, he lowered his head and looked at the ground, and said after a while: "I still remember what his father said at that time, he said, 'Even if Lao Tzu beats you to death here today, I won't let you go out and throw this person!'" Like men? Are you going to be embarrassed?! ’”

"Yu Gui......" Yan Shu stretched out his hand to pull Yu Gui, but found that his body was trembling slightly, and his fists were clenched and couldn't be broken.

"Later, fortunately, a few teachers in the office persuaded his dad to stop him, and he was taken to the hospital, and when I saw him again, he still had a plaster cast on his feet, and he secretly ran out of the house to see me." When Yu Gui said this, he suddenly turned his body back, so that Yan Shu couldn't see his expression.

"The first thing he said to me at that time was, I'm sorry. Then he told me that he was going to change schools, and in the future, I was afraid that I would not have the opportunity to meet again. And that was indeed the last time I saw him. Yu Gui's voice still sounded steady, and there was no sign of trembling, but the more obvious tremors of his body betrayed his heart.

Yan Shu finally couldn't help but stand up and hugged him tightly, and whispered, "With me, Yu Gui, you have me now." ”

Yu Gui exhaled and nodded: "Yes, now there is you." But what I want to say is that at that time, before this happened, I also said with him with great certainty that we would always be together in the future, and said that no matter what happened, no matter what anyone opposed, we would insist on the relationship between the two of us, and that no one should give up, but the result was obvious, wasn't it. ”

"Is that all there is to worry about? Are you worried that I might also give up later because of my family's opposition? Yan Shu turned his body around, his voice was a little excited, but his eyes were extremely firm: "I won't!" Believe me, I won't! ”

Whether it will or not, it is too early to tell.

Yu Gui looked at Yan Shu quietly, thinking of this sentence in his heart, but he didn't say it.

However, Yan Shu did not miss the hesitation that flashed in his eyes.

"Yu Gui," Yan Shu's tone added a bit of pleading, "I know it's hard for you to say what you believe now, but can you at least have a little confidence in me?" I know very well what is going on in my family, I know that it is not easy to come out with my family, and it is true that I have not told them that I am gay, but I never thought of hiding it all the time! I didn't say it before because I didn't meet someone I liked, but now that I have you, I will explain it to them and make them accept it! ”

"But what if—"

"No whatever!" Yan Shu didn't mean that he intercepted his words after speaking, looked at him fixedly and said, "Yu Gui, there won't be the case you are worried about." No matter what my family thinks about this in the future, I will bear all the pressure they exert myself, and I will never let them pass it on to you, can you believe me? I want you to trust me, at least on this point, I need your trust! ”

Yan Shu clenched Yu Gui's shoulders with both hands when he said the last sentence, as if to show that he didn't want to hear a negative answer again.

Comparing his heart to his heart, if Yu Gui is still indifferent at this time, then he himself will suspect that he is hard-hearted.

"Yu Gui, have you ever liked someone else after that person?" Yan Shu asked in a low voice at this time.

Yu Gui shook his head and looked at him: "Since him, you are the first." ”

"That means it's a breakthrough for you, right?" Yan Shujiang held the hand hanging by his side, pulled it up and placed it on his chest, and there was a burning heat in his eyes.

"Yu Gui, since you have already allowed yourself to risk being with me, how big is the marginal impact of taking the risk of believing me again? There are many uncertain factors in relationships, and I think it is more appropriate to use random processes to fit them than to use regression analysis, and you also know that the probability distribution of the next state in a Markov chain is only determined by the current state, and has no correlation with previous events in the time series, and how the relationship between the two of us will develop in the future will not be affected by your previous experience. ”

Yu Guicong couldn't help but smile in his heart when he heard him talk about the random process, and finally raised the corners of his mouth slightly at this point and said, "Professor Yan, if you continue to talk about it, I should take out the courseware." ”

“…… So, do you believe me now? Yan Shu asked with a blushing face.

"Well, you're right." Yu Gui nodded, and subconsciously clenched his hands when he answered, but realized that he still had a hand on Yan Shu's chest.

"Even if I can't trust myself, I can trust you." Yu Gui moved his hand from Yan Shu's chest to behind him and hugged him gently.

But Yan Shu tightly encircled him in his arms the moment he said this.

"Thank you." Yan Shu said sincerely.

Yu Gui's eyes were slightly hot when he heard this, and he waited for a while before saying, "I should thank you." ”

"You don't have to tell the difference so clearly......

Yan Shu suddenly lowered his voice, leaned into Gui's ear and held his earlobe with his lips, and the tip of his tongue □□ gently.

“…… Yu Gui, did you just call me 'professor' again? ”