25 June 2006

When I came back from my run in the morning, I found that the little girl had a cold, lying motionless in the cat bed, her nose was wet and listless.

I drove to the pet hospital to buy medicine, and the little girl fell asleep after eating.

Doctors said they would recover in a week at the latest.

… Two...

30 June 2006

When I went home in the evening, I found that the little girl had become very lively, and she should have recovered from her illness.

……

1 July 2006

The mobile phone was left in the army, and when I went back to get it, there was a missed call, which was the number of City B, and I called back and found that it was a phone fraud.

3 July 2006

Political Commissar Zhang's grandson plans to report to the B major and come to the house to ask for opinions.

B is big in city B, the capital city of the next province, which is very good.

……

10 July 2006

The application for admission to Tibet that I made a few days ago was rejected this afternoon, and Lao Xu vaguely revealed that it was the superiors who did not agree.

I think it's my father.

11 July 2006

My father came home today and talked to me after dinner, talking about my marital status in Tibet.

may also notice the difference between me and Han Jingqiu.

Han Jingqiu has so far refused to sign.

Three years in Tibet is the best choice, whether it is for me or for her, more than a thousand days, enough for her to take the initiative to let go after she understands it.

……

14 July 2006

The application for entering Tibet for the second time has already been submitted, and this time it was not intercepted at the division headquarters.

I just found that the military shirt buttons resting on the sofa were bitten off by cats.

Naughty little girl.

……

18 July 2006

I moved to the army dormitory today, and by the way, I took the little girl with me, and when I sorted out my things, I found that the little girl had more luggage than me.

……

23 July 2006

I couldn't sleep, so I took out the book "Lolita" and read part of it, and there were a lot of typos, but fortunately it didn't affect the reading.

24 July 2006

When I came back from going out, I met a little girl at the gate and came to visit my boyfriend in the group.

The little girl was about twenty years old, very young, and sent her to find someone by the way, and learned that she was a sophomore and her boyfriend was an instructor during her military training in college.

In the evening, when I went back to the office to get a cigarette after dinner, I saw the old card from Yunnan in the drawer.

Thinking that there are still a few good friends' numbers that are not saved, I put the card back into the phone, and there is no information prompt after turning it on.

After checking the phone bill, there are more than 137 yuan.

25 July 2006

A group of recruits came today, and there was a name named Ye Heqin, who was biased towards girls, with three or five thick eyes and very small eyes.

26 July 2006

Busy training.

27 July 2006

Keep busy training.

……

10 August 2006

Today, I took the little girl to get vaccinated, and the little girl saw that the needle was shaking very much, and turned her head to look at me, asking for help and confused eyes.

But for the sake of health, you can't spoil it too much.

……

16 August 2006

I just glanced at the page number of "Lolita", there are still 147 pages left, and I am actually surprised how I can read such a boring book.

It's understandable that this book would be banned for so many years.

A forty-year-old man is madly infatuated with his stepdaughter Lolita, who is only twelve years old, and the whole article is almost a pathological psychological description of the male protagonist, the kind of anxiety and pain that can't be loved, normal people are afraid that it is difficult for normal people to accept this feeling.

……

22 August 2006

I don't know if it's old, I've been having auditory hallucinations lately, and every time I look back, I find that people aren't calling me, which is embarrassing.

The little girl has gained a lot of weight recently, but she doesn't grow much taller.

……

25 August 2006

Han Jingqiu called and wanted me to go back to the apartment for a few days, because the Han family had relatives who wanted to come over and wanted to keep that little self-esteem in front of the family.

The relatives of the Han family didn't know about her divorce from me.

As for the divorce, she said it was already being considered.

……

28 August 2006

In the afternoon, she received a text message from Han Jingqiu, saying that the relatives of the Han family had already seen a doctor in the hospital, but she never expected that the 'relatives of the Han family' in Han Jingqiu's mouth were the children of the Ye family.

I took the time to go to the hospital.

The little girl sat there and lowered her head to play with her phone, her expression was very focused, as if she didn't notice me walking over.

I went to get the checklist for the little girl, although I don't know how to treat medicine, but I can see from the list that there should be no big problem.

Came out of the hospital and went straight back to the troops.

Until now, I can't describe the mood at that time, maybe I didn't worry that Han Jingqiu could take care of people, after the evening training camp, I went to Han Jingqiu's apartment in the city center, and I didn't see the child, but I learned from Han Jingqiu's mouth that I tried my best to pick up the child and live at home, but it was

Tang wants to use her to ease the conflict between the husband and wife.

Anger that has never been felt before, that is the first time to take the initiative to quarrel with Han Jingqiu.

Looking back now, it's a bit inexplicable, probably because of her behavior, I didn't expect that one day, this marriage would need to be maintained by these means.

29 August 2006

In the morning, I went to the political department, and when I came back, I met Han Jingqiu, who was arguing with a man standing by the flower bed.

It's a little familiar, and I recognize it as the original one.

At that time, the first reaction was not that they were still involved, but that they thought of the child, Han Jingqiu was outside, so she should be home alone.

I don't understand how I could recite the child's number so lightly, just as I don't understand why I forcibly took her away on the side of the road, regardless of her wishes, and the mood at that moment was complicated, even though I can't analyze it one by one now.

Recalling the questioning of her in the car, I can't help but feel naïve and unreasonable.

In fact, what qualifications do I have to ask about her, especially when I hear her say that she is unwilling to pick what others don't want, she can't suppress her feelings like that.

Now that she finally realizes how wrong and stupid her behavior used to be in liking a married man, it's good to have such an epiphany, isn't it?

It is undeniable that when I heard the boy's voice on the phone, I felt faintly uncomfortable in my heart after being stunned.

Perhaps this is the root of human inferiority.

When you learn one day that the person you've been chasing you suddenly lets go, it's inevitable that you will not be able to adapt, even if you are already an older adult.

30 August 2006

I don't understand what I'm thinking.

After taking a shower, I looked at the man in the mirror and suddenly felt a little unrecognizable.

I called the apartment with some kind of luck, and when I learned that Han Jingqiu was not at home, I temporarily pushed down the dinner in the group, saying that I wanted to go home for lunch, for fear that she would be suspicious, so I specially called three or five comrades-in-arms, but told them to come over later.

Someone in the elevator said that I was her boyfriend, and suddenly she didn't want to give her a chance to explain, and even acquiesced to the misunderstanding of her comrades.

I like to see her embarrassed look, I think it's cute, staring, like a 'little girl' who tilts her head up to eat.

Seeing her behaving intimately with Yao Lie, she couldn't help but want to interrupt them.

Seeing her secretly answering the phone, desperate to know who was on the other side of the phone, without waiting for her to answer, she had already begun to guess, was it her little bamboo horse or the boy named 'Xiao Yi' yesterday?

Obviously he had heard the sound of the door opening, but he held her hand and refused to let go.

There was nowhere to vent a nameless fire squeezing in her chest, and she saw panic and pleading in her eyes, and she was no longer the girl who indifferently seduced/seduced the man she called 'little uncle', but more like a trembling guinea pig, finally letting go of her before people came in.

The only thing left between him and Han Jingqiu was to quarrel.

When I saw "Lolita" next to the table, I suddenly found Humbert's shadow in myself, and I was worried that one day I would become a pervert like him.

31 August 2006

I've been in the army today, but I think of that kid from time to time,

There is no way to stop this filthy mind.

She is mature and sophisticated, she is sleek and cunning, she is innocent and straightforward, and she is full of charms, lingering in her mind.

Such a self is uncontrollable, and it is becoming more and more unfamiliar, and I don't know what the problem is.

All the changes seemed to happen overnight.

1 September 2006

Intentionally or unconsciously chose to go to the apartment today.

She used to haunt me, but now it seems that her role has changed.

Sending her to the hospital, forgetting her yin and yang temperament, but she left for a while, and she had already run away.

Seeing her being moved, she couldn't restrain the emotions surging in her body, she never thought that she would fight for a woman at this age, and finally asked uncontrollably, don't you want to stay with me?

Trying to get close to her, wanting to see the occasional shyness in her eyes, I couldn't help but show off my shooting in front of her, and I held her soft little hands firmly as I crossed the street.

Obviously he is no longer a hairy boy, but he still does impulsive things.

Never thought there would be such a day.

2 September 2006

I called her last night, my phone was turned off, and the reason she gave was that I forgot to charge my phone.

If it's the truth, why should the eyes wander?

She said that she slept in the hotel with her little bamboo horse last night.

If it weren't for her aunt and uncle coming to Fengcheng, wouldn't she plan to go back to the apartment all day today?

I wanted to question her, but I didn't know how to open my mouth, remembering what she said in the car that day, she was an adult, graduated from high school again, and had the freedom to fall in love, she is now an obedient and sensible junior, and it is me who can't see it and can't figure it out.

There has never been a night like this, when I suddenly wanted to end the marriage with Han Jingqiu.

Lao Xu said that the authorities had already approved my application for Tibet, and there would be an appointment soon.

It is not as relaxed as imagined, but feels dignified.

Emotional changes can never withstand time.

After all, it was against his father's expectations

I am not a qualified soldier, and for my own selfish desires, I have begun to regret the decisions I have made.

There has never been a night like this at this moment, when I suddenly wanted to end the marriage between Kuài and Han Jingqiu in name only.

3 September 2006

It's not the first time I've called the little girl, but the moment I heard her voice, I was still a little nervous.

Unthinkable.

I made an appointment to meet her at the hotel in the evening, I don't know why I said that, I just followed the truest thoughts in my heart at that time.

Wanting to see her, it seems that he has been missing it for only a day apart, including the nervousness when talking on the phone, which is not the love that a twenty-nine-year-old man should have.

For the first time, I deliberately went online for a person Baidu girl's favorite birthday gift, because I wanted to make up for some regrets.

is with Han Jingqiu, it is too natural, and the process of falling in love is missing.

I don't know how to please a girl, especially a girl who is about a round younger than me.

4 September 2006

My father was just out of danger.

He and his mother already knew the crux of the problems in my marriage to Han Jingqiu.

Han Jingqiu confessed everything to her family, which was not what I expected, and until this moment, she was still unwilling to divorce.

I didn't think that I would pull Jiang Hui in again, and I didn't want the little girl to be involved in this divorce, but Jiang Hui saw through her thoughts.

5 September 2006

I couldn't get through to the little girl's mobile phone since the night before.

called Han's house, and found out that she had returned to City B.

Are you angry because of my no-show that night?

6 September 2006

The little girl's mobile phone has been turned off.

My father's situation has stabilized.

7 September 2006

Arrived in City B in the afternoon, found an excuse to go to Zhang Ji's house, and didn't see the little girl in the yard when passing by Ye's house.

8 September 2006

The troops had something to do temporarily and returned to Fengcheng.

Yesterday, I learned from Zhang Ji that the official opening of B University on September 10.

The little girl still hasn't turned on.

……

10 September 2006

Waiting for her downstairs in the dormitory, she was accompanied by a boy.

The picture is a bit harsh.

Before leaving, the words she said were still fresh in my ears.

She didn't understand why she was once entangled with a man who was about to stand up, just like I don't know when I started to let her into her heart, it seemed to be caught off guard, and it seemed to accumulate over time.

Suddenly I understood Humbert's state of mind, when Lolita left him without hesitation, was she also like me who couldn't sleep at night?

The little girl's sobriety brought out the filthiness of my unknown thoughts.

She was right, this was an unethical relationship and should not have started.

―――――― author has something to say――――――

The old man's emotional apocalypse is like this, because the middle span is a year, many things are not easy to write, and the suspense left behind is imagined by everyone, and it can only help you get here, the old man didn't plan to go to Tibet because of Hehuan, but then he went again, as for why he didn't stay for three years, it's not a secret ha~

【Off-site Interview】

Microphone: "Second brother, can you explain, you later wrote your diary so explicitly, aren't you afraid that the little girl will see it and think that you are a strange Shu?" ”

Second brother: "! ”

Microphone: "Also, why didn't you mention the fact that you deliberately drove a long way?" ”

Second brother: "!! ”

Microphone: "One last question, second brother, will you write down the process and psychology of eating the little girl for the first time in your diary?" ”

Second brother: "!! ”