"Feng, what are you doing?"

The moment I fell to the ground, Yiyi's exclamation rang out.

But I just got up from the ground in silence, and then fell to the ground with my head up, this time I didn't get up again, and I didn't care about Yiyi, who was anxiously shouting, and kept pounding the soft grass with my fists, but by this time the so-called softness had become hard, and it was piercing.

But even if it hurts me, it's still like this, I don't speak now, the disordered mind has taken over my body, my mind is chaotic, except that the pale is pale, I don't know how many times I've been like this, but every time before there is no collapse and powerlessness this time.

No matter what decision I make, it will always hurt someone, so I can only rely on this venting to punish myself and numb myself.

"Feng, don't you do this? I know that my selfish request will make you very embarrassed, but my heart tells me that I can only do this, I love you, I love you and my heart has never changed, you have been the person I love all these years, and the only man I love, I used to love a boy, now I am a man, if you can't make a decision now, I will wait for you, but I can't watch you marry another woman, if there is really that day, I think I will collapse, I feel that I have no courage to live, Feng, you should think that I am threatening youI can only do that. ”

Although Yiyi was very anxious, there was already a trace of calm in the anxiety, perhaps during this time she had already thought about what she was about to face.

I know that she is very strong after going through too many hardships, but this kind of strength is just a manifestation of the imminent collapse, she is still holding on, she is holding on with our love, and she is struggling with whether to find me every day, and now she finally musters up the courage to dare to face me, if she sees me and Xiaoyan married, she will go to extremes, and even have an 80% possibility.

I can't bet on this kind of thing, Yiyi has suffered enough, her fate is miserable enough, if it is because of her beautiful life to zero, then I will definitely regret it for the rest of my life.

And if Xiaoyan learns that I am not married, but find my first love, what will happen to her? How can she give up now? It is even possible to go to extremes.

Thinking of all the possibilities, I became more and more irritable, regardless of Yiyi's restraints, and continued to pound the ground with my fists, the pain caused by my fists may be able to numb the melancholy in my heart.

Peaks

Yiyi shouted to me in a crying voice, but all I heard in my ears was the sound of bullets or bows and arrows whistling, this sound instantly gave me a kind of ruined thought, my fists clenched tighter and tighter, my chest was extremely suffocated, as if I couldn't breathe, and I was about to suffocate, now the sky was squeezing towards me again, the space was getting bigger and bigger, and the things I was facing were getting bigger and bigger, no matter how I dealt with it, something would happen, and I even had a suicidal thought when the frequency collapsed, I feel like if I die like this, none of them will die, and this is the best ending.

I don't know how long this madness, I don't know how long it lasted, anyway, I felt that I was already in a state of confusion, my head was particularly muddy, as if it was a severe cold, my whole body was weak and painful, I closed my eyes, I was in a dark, my mouth was dry, my heart seemed to be lost, I just felt that someone was shouting my name, and was still pushing me, trying to pull me out of the dark world, but I didn't want to get out of the dark world, I wanted to stay here forever, There is no pain and sorrow, no entanglement and melancholy, and the so-called hurt will not exist, living in a world without love, without space for seven emotions and six desires.

Then I lost consciousness completely, and before I lost consciousness, I saw the figures of Miao Man, all of them related to me, in this extremely fucked up world, but when I became more and more confused and delirious, one by one the figures were also destroyed by the wind, until the figure that kept changing its face disappeared.

I don't know how long it took me to gradually become conscious, and the moment I had consciousness and thought, I was angry, angry why I still exist in this world, why do I continue to stay here to give a personal pain that cannot be healed, this is not what I want, I don't want to see such a picture.

I heard someone talking, a familiar voice, listening carefully to the voice of Yiyi, I don't know where I am? Who will be around me but Yiyi?

But I didn't want to verify that it was the right and wrong decision for me to escape for the time being, but I had to make such a decision, I was silent in the dark world, but there was a pale, a pale and weak sense of picture.

And at this time, Yiyi's voice gradually became clearer

"Feng, I remember when you were in school, you especially liked to eat the roasted sausage in the sausage machine in the supermarket, one dollar, you finished eating a few bites, and I had to eat for a long time, you were indignant at the manufacturer of the roasted sausage, why did you do it so, I couldn't finish it in a few bites, and then I stuffed the rest of the roasted sausage into your mouth, and then you ate it with satisfaction, and then ran into the supermarket again with a small amount of pocket money, and bought two more, I thought you would eat it quickly, but I didn't expect you to put the roast sausage in front of my mouth, Motioning for me to eat, I'm a little dazed and a little shy about your actions. ”

"Anyway, I didn't want to open my mouth for a while, you saw that I didn't eat, and actually put the grilled sausage back into the white plastic bag, when I was slightly lost in my heart, you actually came directly to me and kissed me, that was the first time you kissed me, although it was dark at that time, but there were people around, there would definitely be people who saw us like this, it is forbidden to fall in love in school, I really didn't expect you to be so impulsive, I immediately wanted to break free of you shyly, but you grabbed my shoulders with both palms, Tightly bound me, kissed me hard, because it was the first time to kiss you at all, you were also extremely unfamiliar, I stood completely straight, my hands did not know how to place. ”

"But just then the dean came, well, it was your dean, who yelled at me very loudly, asking what we were doing? Anyway, it's extremely terrifying, you heard the voice of your teaching director Director Yang, and immediately let go of me, looked at Director Yang who came in a step, and then looked at me who had a red face, wittily pulled up my palm, ran to the night with the uneaten grilled sausage, and quickly hid in the woods, but Director Yang's voice continued, I was very scared at that time, afraid of being caught by Director Yang, and then called our parents, at that time you felt my fear, and forced your own fear to me is very firm: YiyiIt's okay, the old guy can't catch up with us, because he's old and we're young. ”