Miss Manners walked onto the stage in a glass jar containing six sets of comedian-numbered yellow balls. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

Wu Bo put his hand into the glass jar and stirred it, and then asked the audience: "Who do you want to be the first to appear?" ”

"Lin Feng!"

"Lin Feng!"

"Xiaobao!"

"Fujino!"

"Lin Feng ......"

The audience shouted the names of their favorite comedians, and Lin Feng's name was the most mentioned.

Under the gaze of everyone, Wu Bo finally chose a yellow ball.

"I won't watch it, you can watch it, and then tell me loudly that the first comedian to appear today is ......" Wu Bo said, directly unscrewing the selected yellow ball, and then pointed the name inside at the audience.

"Jiang Cheng!"

The audience shouted in unison.

"Is it Teacher Jiang Cheng?" Wu Bo took the yellow ball and looked at it himself, and then said with a smile: "The first comedian to appear today is the new comedian who fills the position, Mr. Jiang Cheng, please." ”

After Wu Bo finished speaking, he walked straight off the stage.

The scene was led by a group of nurseries in the front row, and there was applause.

Lounge.

Seeing that he was the first to appear, Jiang Cheng couldn't help frowning, although he had never been to this stage before, but as an old artist with decades of stage experience, of course he knew that the most difficult thing to perform in a performance was the first actor to appear, because, at the beginning of the performance, the audience did not enter the state, so the first actor to appear not only brought the audience into the performance, but also to heat up the stage, this is more difficult.

"Let's go, it's good, after the performance, you can watch the next performances steadily." Although Jiang Cheng was unhappy in his heart, he looked indifferent to the camera in the lounge.

Jiang Cheng's partner is called Liu Zhijie, and the two have partnered for more than 20 years, which is a rare combination in the domestic cross talk circle for more than 20 years.

"It's a little uncomfortable to act." Liu Zhijie said as he walked beside him.

"It's okay if you don't adapt, let's warm up the field for you." Jiang Cheng said with a generous face.

Liu Zhijie shrugged his shoulders: "Come on, then we have to warm up this place." ”

Stage.

The red curtain slowly pulls open.

Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie, who were dressed in Mao suits, walked on the stage with smiles on their faces.

Seeing the two of them, there was immediately a round of applause at the scene, although Jiang Cheng's reputation has not been very good recently, but after all, he is an "old man" who has appeared on the Spring Festival Gala more than a dozen times, and most of the audience present can be said to have grown up listening to his cross talk, in fact, Jiang Cheng's early works are still good, but later, the bureaucratic temperament on his body is getting heavier and heavier, and his works are getting worse and worse, and he has gradually faded out of the public's sight in recent years.

However, seeing his familiar face on the stage again, many audience members were still willing to give him some applause, after all, it had brought them laughter.

"Hello everyone."

"Hello audience."

Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie walked to the front desk, first greeted the audience, and then stood in front of the microphone steadily.

"We two brothers go to this stage to stand on this stage, some know and some don't know......" Jiang Cheng said without hurry, the typhoon was very stable.

"We all know each other!"

At this time, there were audience members below shouting.

Jiang Cheng smiled: "You can't know each other, there must be someone you don't know, in fact, it doesn't matter if you don't know me, just vote for the wrong one later." ”

"Hey, I said that I was in such a hurry to introduce, it turned out that I was holding back to let people vote." Liu Zhijie continued.

Jiang Cheng smiled: ""Happy Comedian" is a competition stage after all, since we are here, we have to strive to go forward." ”

"That's right." Liu Zhijie nodded.

"Okay, I still have to introduce myself, my name is Jiang Cheng, standing next to me is my partner, Liu Zhijie, today, our two brothers are talking about cross talk, the name is "You Want to Be Elegant". Jiang Chengzi said in a straight voice.

"Well, not only did I introduce it, but I also brought it with me." Liu Zhijie smiled lightly.

"There's no way, the host is too disrespectful, this job should have been Wu Bo's, but as a result, he didn't do it, so I had to do it myself." Jiang Cheng said with a smile.

As soon as Jiang Cheng ridiculed Wu Bo, the audience also laughed, and overall, the opening of the two was not bad.

The lounge for several other groups of comedians.

Fujino: "Mr. Jiang Cheng's typhoon is really steady, and he deserves to be an artist of the older generation. ”

Xiaobao: "Jiang is still old and spicy, Lin Feng has met a strong opponent today." ”

Sun Jiajia: "You want to be elegant"? The name of this cross talk ......"

Liu Changhe: "Lao Jiang is in good shape today, I haven't seen him in such a state in recent years." ”

Everyone's evaluation of Jiang Cheng's opening was good, Lin Feng and Yu Qian's lounge, both of them leaned on the sofa with a relaxed face, because there was plenty of time to prepare this time, so the words of the two were already correct.

At this moment, Yu Qian was smoking a cigarette and staring at the big screen in the lounge while smoking.

Zhang Xiaohua's senior brother Yu Qian, and Teacher Yu in another time and space where Lin Feng is located, are simply carved out of the same mold, the two not only look quite similar, but even their hobbies are similar, the teacher Yu in front of him is also a small roll, often holding a cigarette in his mouth, and he also likes to drink, the only difference is that this Teacher Yu's hair is not hot, but natural, however, Lin Feng did not let him go, and still added the stalk of "smoking, drinking, and perming his head" to the joke of the two.

"Jiang Cheng is much stronger than Cao Wei, at least this typhoon is very stable." Lin Feng said lightly.

"It's an old fritter, what's the point of mixing up without a typhoon, but it's useless to say that the cross sound light typhoon is stable, as long as a few burdens go down, the audience in the audience doesn't laugh, and no matter how good the typhoon is, it will be chaotic." Yu Qian said while puffing on the smoke ring.

Lin Feng nodded: "That's right." ”

Stage.

Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie's performance continued, and after a few words of gossip at the beginning, the two entered the theme of this cross talk joke "You want to be elegant".

And after the two entered the theme, Yu Qian's words were a little verified, Sun Daodao's work "You Want to Be Elegant" has a lot of baggage, but most of them are old stalks that the audience has listened to for a long time, plus the theme "Taizheng", the audience was a little interested after listening to it for a while, Jiang Cheng threw out three burdens in a row and didn't make much noise, and suddenly, he saw sweat on his head.

However, Jiang Cheng has also experienced a lot of storms, after a short period of panic, he adjusted his state in time, and tried to say the next part of the wonderful, Sun Daodao's book, the later stage is more powerful, before the end of the whole cross talk, the audience finally had one or two laughs, and Jiang Cheng on the stage also fell slightly in his heart.

At the end of the ten-minute program, Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie bowed and left.

Wu Bo walked to the front stage, Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie, who finished the performance, also walked to the front stage, and the audience applauded for face.

"Good work, two teachers." Wu Bo greeted with a smile.

Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie also greeted Wu Bo separately.

"Are you two happy with your performance today? If so, how many points? Wu Bo asked.

"Today's state is okay, but the preparation time for this show is too short, so many places are not perfect, if I want to score it myself, I give six points, barely passing." Jiang Cheng responded, he said it very modestly, but he left a way back for himself.

"Only six points? Teacher Jiang Cheng is really humble. Wu Bo asked Liu Zhijie again: "What about Mr. Liu?" How much would you rate the performance you just had? ”

"Lao Jiang is too modest, I give it a score of 7." Liu Zhijie said.

"Hey, that's not that high." Wu Bo smiled and shook his head.

"It's pretty high." Liu Zhijie said with a serious face: "We only decided to come to the show on Monday night, and today is Thursday to record, so it is really too hasty to prepare for the show in three days, so many places are not particularly satisfied, but we are already very satisfied with it today." ”

Liu Zhijie is also an old fritter, not to mention the quality of the show, you must leave a reason for losing the game, that is, the time is too rushed, in fact, this is also what he and Jiang Cheng discussed in advance, no matter what the scene is, say so, leave a back hand for yourself.

As it turned out, this decision of the two was also wise.

"Three days is indeed quite rushed." Wu Bo nodded in understanding, and then continued to ask, "So, can you two tell us why you agreed to come to our show?" Actually, with the status of the two, there is no need to participate in similar competitions to prove anything, do you? ”

Hearing this question, Jiang Cheng smiled: "Wu Bo, you asked this question to offend the people in the back, and the people sitting in the back probably don't need to prove themselves through the show." And the reason why everyone came to this show, I guess the reason should be the same, one is the love of comedy, and the other is that as comedians, everyone naturally wants to show the best side to the audience. ”

"I think these two points are the original intention of everyone to participate in "Happy Comedian", as for me personally, I still have a small wish, the reason why I agreed to participate in this show is also because I want to tell the audience that cross talk does not need to use 'three vulgar' things to please the audience, we abandon those things, and we can still say cross talk well."

Jiang Cheng had a straight face, obviously, the last reason he said was the real purpose of his participation in "Happy Comedian", and of course everyone knew that he was secretly satirizing Lin Feng with his words, and the reason why he came to participate in the competition was also for Lin Feng.

The audience at the scene didn't react much, and everyone was still very disdainful of Jiang Cheng's self-righteous attitude.

"Okay, please rest behind the two teachers, and I wish you all the best if you can fulfill your wishes on this stage." Wu Bo smiled and made a gesture of please, Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie arched their hands at the audience again, and then left.

The lounge for several other groups of comedians.

Fujino: "Overall, the cross talk between Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie is still good, and now I am looking forward to Lin Feng's performance." ”

Xiaobao: "It smells of gunpowder, and today's game is exciting again." ”

Sun Jiajia: "Teacher Jiang Cheng's last speech is still quite pertinent. ”

Liu Changhe: "Lao Jiang's work in this issue is very good. ”

Lin Feng and Yu Qian's lounge, after listening to Jiang Cheng's last words, both of them showed playful smiles on their faces, in the eyes of the two, Jiang Cheng was slapping himself in the face!

Stage.

Wu Bo started the second round of the draw again, this time, he didn't show the audience first, but took a look at it himself, and then, with a surprised expression on his face.

"Who do you want to be the second to play?" Wu Bo asked the audience.

"Lin Feng!"

"Lin Feng!"

The audience almost shouted Lin Feng's name in unison, because Jiang Cheng's last words were obviously fired at Lin Feng, so the audience also hoped to see Lin Feng face each other immediately, and the two of them were competing on the front and back feet, and the contrast could be more obvious.

"As you wish, the comedians in the second group of this game are, Lin Feng and Yu Qian!" Wu Bo showed the name of the comedian in the yellow ball.

"Wow, it's really Lin Feng!"

"Haha, that's interesting."

"Look at what Lin Feng is doing this time!"

As soon as they heard that the second performance was really Lin Feng, the audience suddenly boiled.

"Oh, by the way, just now Mr. Jiang Cheng complained and said that he didn't do the work of the newspaper, so this time I have to do the work of the newspaper, Lin Feng and Yu Qian performed today The show is the cross talk "I want to oppose the three vulgarities"!"

After that, Wu Bo withdrew directly.

As soon as Lin Feng wanted to say the name of this cross talk, the audience and several other groups of comedians in the lounge suddenly exploded.

"What? I heard it right, "I want to be against the Three Vulgarities"?? ”

""I want to oppose the three vulgarities", I, laughed to death my name."

"Jiang Cheng's side is "You Want to Be Elegant", and Lin Feng's side is "I Want to Oppose the Three Vulgarities", which is too funny."

"Lin Feng's funny comparison, just after being criticized for the three vulgarities, he made a cross talk called "I want to oppose the three vulgarities", which is too funny."

"Damn, just rush this name, I'll give the ticket to Lin Feng."

Backstage, the rest of the rest of the comedians.

Fujino looked confused: "What is the cross talk that Lin Feng said?" "I want to be against the three vulgarities"? I heard you right. ”

Xiaobao laughed: "Lin Feng is so funny, the name "I want to be against the three vulgarities" is really good." ”

Sun Jiajia was drinking water, and when she heard Wu Bo burst out the name of Lin Feng's cross talk, she laughed directly.

Liu Changhe was stunned for a moment, then shook his head with a smile: "Young man, you really dare to think and dare to do." ”

Jiang Cheng and Liu Zhijie, who had just sat down in the public lounge, were dumbfounded after listening to Wu Bo's report.

"What's the name of the work he's going to talk about??"

"It seems to be called "I want to Oppose the Three Vulgarities"."

"Just him, do you want to oppose the three vulgarities??" Jiang Cheng looked disdainful.

"Let's listen to it and see how he reverses!" Liu Zhijie said with a frown.

Stage.

The red curtain slowly pulls back.

Lin Feng and Yu Qian, who were dressed in coats, appeared in the audience's sight.

Today, Lin Feng and Yu Qian are both wearing black coats, and they look relatively old.

"Guys, meet again." Lin Feng walked towards the front desk with a smile on his face.

"Lin Feng, I love you!"

"Lin Feng, I'm going to give you a baby!!"

There were still people in the audience shouting "teasing" Lin Feng, but this time Lin Feng didn't joke like the last one, but sank his face, pretending to be angry and pointing at the female audience who shouted "I want to give him a child", and scolded: "Get out!" Get out of here!! ”

"People like you and love you, why are you so rude!" Yu Qian on the side spoke for the audience.

Lin Feng glared at him: "Didn't you read Weibo?" Didn't you read the news? Just because there was a female audience shouting to give me a baby in the last show, I was criticized as a typical example of the three vulgarities, as a cross talk actor, I am resolutely anti-vulgar! Therefore, the audience like this who took me to the road of the three vulgar people resolutely wanted to be thrown out!! ”

"Quick! Get out, lest I continue to be vulgar!! Lin Feng exaggeratedly pointed at the female audience and shouted.

Lin Feng and Yu Qian's back-and-forth conversations and ridicule immediately amused the audience again.

"Whoa......!!"

"Lin Feng, I'm going to give you a baby!!"

"Lin Feng, I'm going to give you a baby!!"

"Lin Feng, I'm going to give you a baby!!"

“……”

Lin Feng didn't say that it was better, as soon as he said this, the audience shouted that they wanted to give birth to Lin Feng.

On the stage, Lin Feng shrugged his shoulders helplessly, then pointed at the audience, and said angrily: "You guys, you are too vulgar!" ”

"Directors, producers, and leaders of relevant departments, see it, it's not my three vulgarities! It's the audience who is too vulgar!! Lin Feng said with an aggrieved face: "They took me to the ditch, if you want to criticize them, criticize them!" ”

As soon as they heard this, the audience in the audience was in a flurry again.

"Huh......"

…… (To be continued.) )