"Dad"

"Dad"

From silent tears to choked shouting such a dad, my heart is like being cut by a knife, not my own heartache, but for their heartache, giving birth to such a unfilial son who has no interest and is very cold-blooded.

"It's really cute, have you changed your number? Called you yesterday and turned it off. ”

Dad paused for a moment before he was surprised and excited, obviously his character is still so strong, even if he is excited, he must remain calm like a soldier.

"Dad, are you okay?"

I choked up, trying to suppress my feelings, but I couldn't do anything.

"Very good, what's wrong with you? Crying? Is something happening? ”

Dad asked me with a calm eagerness.

"Who is the old man? Is it cute? Come, call me, I'll talk to my son. ”

The anxious mother seemed to have directly snatched the mobile phone in his father's hand, which made the father complain for a while.

"Son, what's wrong with you? Did something happen in Hangzhou? Tell your mom about it. ”

My mother asked me in a straightforward and eager tone.

Listening to the anxious questions of my parents, I have a feeling of suffocation, parents all over the world are forever anxious about whether something is wrong with their children? The mother of the child is worried that this moment is so real.

"Hey...... Why didn't my son speak? Hey......"

"Mom, I'm fine, I just want to cry."

I squatted down at the door of the supermarket, dropped the cigarette case in my hand on the steps, and tried to control my voice as much as possible, trying to be as normal as possible without crying.

"Huh? Why do you want to cry, son......"

Mom said in surprise and eagerly.

"Manly man, what are you crying about? Men would rather shed blood than tears, and can't be a bad seed, how did I educate you from childhood to adulthood? ”

As soon as my mother finished speaking, my father, who seemed to be by the phone all the time, suddenly yelled loudly.

Dad's roar really startled me, and the mother standing next to him complained.

"It's okay, I just miss you two old, give you a call, and ask you how you've been doing lately, do you miss the tea I think of?"

I regained my composure and said half-jokingly with a smile, and also diverted my uncomfortable thoughts.

"That's good, that's good, son, you can rest assured, we are very good in our hometown, nothing to rub mahjong, nagging is very good, you have to eat and drink well in Hangzhou, winter, you are used to living in Inner Mongolia, not used to the wet and cold in the south, you have to wear more clothes and take care of yourself."

My mother seemed to be very happy, and reminded me with great concern.

"What's good, as soon as your mother goes out and sees your second aunt holding her eldest grandson, it's not a taste, every day she talks about wanting to hold a grandson, and she misses Tom too."

Dad suddenly 'plugged in' again, and said in a rather low tone.

"What, it's obvious that you, an old man, nagged and wanted to be a foreign grandson every day, and said that I, don't want to be old."

"You...... It's your ......."

"Son, bring your daughter-in-law back with little Tom during the Chinese New Year, your dad can't think about it anymore."

Mom and Dad said in a mess, don't give me a chance to interject, I don't know how to interject, after all, I don't know if Tom is my biological son, even if I don't mind, but Dad will definitely mind, whether it's or not, I have to say yes.

"Stinky boy, let me ask you, is that Tom your own son?"

Dad snatched back his mother's phone again, lowered his voice and said in a deep voice, but his eagerness to know the truth could not be concealed by the composure of a soldier, this is the psychology of an old man who wants to be a grandfather and wants to hold his grandson.

"Yes, Tom is my son, no doubt my father, your grandson, if you and your mother want, I will take Tom back to see you in my free time from work."

I picked up the cigarette case with my hand, looked at the bright cigarette case, and said firmly, in my eyes, no matter whether Tom is related to me or not, he is already my son, and no one can change it.

"Okay, okay, okay, you're busy with work, just come back during the Chinese New Year"

Hearing my dad say three good in a row, the indescribable happiness can be felt even through the phone, just hearing my father's commanding words, I can't agree to anything immediately, just slowly hang up the phone, put the phone down tremblingly, and smoke a cigarette from the cigarette case again, this is already the third cigarette, I want to play the lighter, but because of the cold wind, I can't let the fire ignite

Just when I kept trying, I still couldn't play, suddenly stretched out a hand, a woman's hand, holding a silver-white brand-name lighter in my hand, my fingers pressed lightly, hitting, yellow-blue flames stood still in the cold wind, I didn't see who this woman was, just collided with the smoke and flames, the cigarette was lit, I took a heavy breath, but I was choked, and coughed out of breath

"You don't smoke."

The woman who lit the cigarette for me spoke and told the truth to the point, and I also knew who this woman with a brand-name lighter was, and this time she didn't scold me, and she didn't scold me with blood.

"How do you know?"

I looked up at the female star who was still dressed as usual, and asked suspiciously.

"Look at the posture of lighting a cigarette, holding a cigarette, smoking, and you will be choked when you smoke, obviously a novice, a good man, a man who doesn't smoke, but it's hard to meet."

The female star squatted beside me uncharacteristically, not scolding me, but talking calmly, but a female star who was high up and had too many shining points on her body squatted next to me as an ordinary person, talking about the opinions of cigarettes on men is really drunk enough, which is also difficult to meet.

"I'm sorry, I'm not a non-smoker, isn't that what I'm smoking now? However, a female star and an ordinary person squatted in front of the supermarket in Erhai, eroded by the cold wind in the middle of the night, and lit a cigarette for me, I think this is difficult to meet, right? ”

I didn't look at the female star around me, I couldn't see her face, I just held a cigarette between my fingers, looked at the distant sky, looked up at the twinkling stars, I didn't give the female star a chance to speak, I hummed a song by myself, with guilt, with sadness, with all the love, singing in the dark night, accompanied by the wind, accompanied by the concrete floor.

"Struggling for the ideal, I worked hard to carry it in the cold wind and night, for the sake of dignity we lied, I no longer have the courage to go back to my hometown, where to go, I will never forget, it is my mother's bowl of soup, my elderly mother, you must not understand my sadness, don't guess my stubbornness, if you can light the lamp for me, please give me hope again, the window of my hometown, hide my father's gray hair with health, don't let the ideal shine with tears"

At first, I was humming, but gradually I sang loudly, singing my heart to the night, in this moment that can freeze people's cheeks and turn purple, I really want to drink the hot soup at home, but now I really don't have the courage to return to my hometown.

Half a year ago, I was a college student village official, but now I am a reptile with a guitar on his back and wandering around with a single-lens reflex, asking for money without money, all my savings have been bought for 2000, and I have bought a bad car, anxiously looking for Xiaoyan, but I can't send it, I have no job to work, and there is no manuscript fee for the book, I am simply an unemployed vagrant, the song fell, but I was desperate with tears, my butterfly with broken wings still has a chance to be reborn, I have some doubts, questioned myself, I am afraid that I will live up to my parents' expectations, Really scared.

"Don't you dare go home? Why? ”

The female star squatting next to me is the one who really listens to my singing, and as soon as the song falls, she asks me, it's just a hundred thousand whys, did she forget that I kissed her? I thought she had a small heart before, but now I think my heart is quite big.

"Because I don't have the ability, I don't have the face to see my parents, and it's a shame to not be able to put a light on my parents' faces, what face do I have to go back, I have lost my courage."