(.) During this period before noon, because McCho went crazy and closed his mouth and said that he was firing people, I spent it in anxiety.

On the phone, Saori said that she had a treat for lunch today. When I drove to the community agreed upon by Saori, I was still a little apprehensive. Seeing that Saori was waiting at the entrance of the community with a large bag of things in her hand, I quickly let her get into the car. This place is still my first time and there are many houses in Saori. Rich people, buy a house if you have nothing to do, different styles: fantasy style, pastoral style, black and white classic, gorgeous style. At this time, Saori was wearing a silk floral dress, and her proud and professional face was not as aggressive as I imagined. With that mature, charming and delicate look, when she walked into the elevator with me, we were more like a pair of lovers in love.

This house is three bedrooms and two living rooms, and it should be more than 140 square meters. The living room is large and elegantly furnished." Which house are you going to use as a wedding house?" I asked.

She said, "Will you tie the knot with me?"

"Okay. Next life."

Seeing that Saori skillfully took out the dishes she had just bought from her bag and put them on the plate, and saw that I was sitting more reservedly, she showed her flowery smile at me, but I felt a little scared of that smile." How? You look like you're a little scared of me. I'm not going to eat people." She just spoke very directly.

"Where. Where. This braised ear silk is so delicious!" I casually took a ear wire from a plate and put it in my mouth, and at the same time quickly pulled away from her topic.

"Wash your hands first! It's like you're too late." Saori sneered. She looked a bit like my mother did when I was a kid.

By the time I washed my hands and returned to the table, she was done. Looking at the pots of fragrant dishes, I feel as if I have returned to my childhood, sitting down alone and eating. Saori smiled and poured me a glass of red wine: "Don't be busy eating. You don't have anything to do in the afternoon. Let's have two drinks."

"Hmm. Of course I'm fine. They'll call if there's something." I'm really a little hungry, looking at the food and drinks in front of me, and the work is simply forgotten. It's a sin to go to work.

"You haven't given me a message these days, do you want to leave me alone?" Saori is obviously a little dissatisfied with my watch these days.

"Saori, you should have a home." I took a sip of my wine and said to Saori seriously.

"You look me in the eye and answer me, do you really want me to marry so much?" Saori, who had drunk the wine, slowly became more ruddy, and her expression began to be a little stern when she spoke.

"I know. Saori, we're not going to get results. For the sake of your future happiness, we can't go on like this any longer. That's not good for anyone." I looked at Saori quietly, comforting word by word." Even your family won't want you to go on like this." It was a bit difficult for me to say this, especially in the name of her relatives, which made me feel despicable. At this moment, I am a complete hypocrite, and you can imagine what a girl would think when she gave up on her.

Saori was not angry, on the contrary, she was calm. Her eyes were firmly fixed on me, as if to see through my inner world.

"Then you tell me honestly, have you ever loved me in your heart. Just like last time." She spoke calmly and later became a little shy.

It's a question that I'm really hard to answer for a while. To say that there is no such thing as that would be self-defeating. There is an essential difference between the kind of love between husband and wife and the kind of love between the simple opposite sex, from the secular point of view, the kind of love between husband and wife is called love, and the kind of love between ordinary people of the opposite sex can only be called love. But how many people in the real world can tell the difference. House flowers are not as fragrant as wild flowers, and men make it clear that most of them are animals that like to think with their lower bodies. Morality and reason can only be regulated for a while, and few real men can resist the arms of beautiful women, and the ancient Yanagishita Megumi can only be considered sexually impotent now (this is not the first time I said this).

"Don't say anything, it means you still have me in your heart." Saori looked very sincere when she saw me, and took the topic slyly, and then changed her words, "It seems that it is useless to snatch you away from Lin Xi. I've been a loser from the start." After saying this, Saori's love was obviously a little low, and the wine in the glass bottomed out again.

"Saori. You're my best confidante outside of marriage, and I can't forget the scene we were together. It's just that. It's just that. We really can't go on like this now. It's not good for you or me." I don't have the confidence to say this, and I really don't have the courage to continue talking about Saori in front of me.

"Xiao Luo! I'll seriously think about my own business. I'm not going to drag down your family." Saori was visibly drunk, and she was already leaning into my arms as she said this.

Stroking her silky body, my heart couldn't help but tremble again.

"Saori, are you alright? No, just drink less." I gently rubbed her reddish forehead and looked at her with pity. Apparently she drank a few more glasses of red wine than I did just now, this thing just has stamina, of course I'm fine, but she might be a little uncomfortable drinking so much today.

"I'm just upset. Why don't I have anyone to care about, no one to love. The person I love is someone else's husband. I paid a qiē and risked losing everything for just a gentle look from yours. But why am I not worthy, why am I not worthy?" Saori's eyes were already visibly wet, and her hand was holding me tightly, as if I would leave her at any moment.

I feel guilty about Saori, knowing that I can't give her complete love, but because of my selfishness and impulsiveness, I've caused her some kind of Cheng dù harm.

"Saori, even though we can't live together, I always have you in my heart. If you have anything to do in the future, you can come to me." Without giving it any thought, I gave Saori a clear promise.

"I won't leave you." Saori's eyes slowly brightened, "I want you to stay here with me for half a day!" She hugged me and started to be a little coquettish, and her lips slowly fell over my face.

Looking back now, I don't know what the factors have made my relationship with Saori unclear until now, and it can even be said that it is constantly cut and messed up. That kind of relationship is like a bomb planted around you, and I'm really worried that it will explode at any time. Holding Saori in my arms, my heart felt heavy. I have a lot of reasons to get out of here, but I just can't say it right now.

"Yin Ran, hug me!" Saori ignored me and assigned me in a commanding tone.

"Huh! Such a big person still hugs?" After all, of course I didn't really hug her, but the two of them hugged each other more tightly.

Things that shouldn't have happened happened again, and because of some kind of mental burden, I obviously felt less passionate than before, and more like coping with something. For Lin Xi, for Saori, now I really don't know how to evaluate my behavior. Looking at Saori who was immersed in happiness in my arms, the shadows of Lin Xi and Saori in my mind were constantly alternating, how should I face these two women at the same time from now on.

Just as I was working overtime, my phone rang, and I saw that it was my mother's. I answered the phone and I didn't speak, and my mother's eager voice came from the other end of the phone: "Come back quickly, your father is hospitalized."

My mind thudded, and the crowd kept shaking in front of me, as if it was very close to me, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I stayed for a long time before I hurriedly packed my things. When I walked downstairs, I remembered that I should say hello, but when I thought about it, I couldn't care so much, and my mind was full of what happened to my dad. I ran downstairs to get my car, and I almost tripped over a fire hydrant and cut my pants in the parking lot.

A few hours after flying back to the people's hospital in the small county town of my hometown, I saw my relatives standing at the door before I entered the ward. I hurried over. They looked at me one by one with solemn faces, and my mind was swallowed up by a bad feeling in my subconscious, and I just mechanically asked my dad what was wrong.

My cousin pulled me and said, "Don't panic, your dad is not doing well." He paused and seemed to have a lot of courage to say, "A few days ago, I suddenly couldn't eat, but today the doctor came and said that it was already very difficult."

Before my cousin's words were finished, my tears came down, and my heart felt as if I had been shot, and my soul seemed to be shaken out of my body, and the world spun in an instant. It took a long time for me to wipe away my tears, take a few deep breaths, and struggle to muster all the courage to push open the door to the hospital room. My dad was lying quietly on the bed for an infusion, and my mother was sitting next to me secretly wiping her tears, and when she saw me coming in, she hurriedly wiped it a few times.

I walked slowly in front of him, he slowly rolled his eyes and struggled to focus on my face, and struggled to say, "Coming. I hurriedly replied that I would rest today. Tears kept rolling in my eyes, and finally they flowed unscrupulously. My mother suddenly covered her mouth for a long time, but she still cried. Dad suddenly became anxious, his brows gathered tightly, the expression on his face struggled to express a kind of anger, and he roared: "Look at you like that, what are you crying about?"

I choked up and didn't know what to say to comfort, when relatives gathered in, and some of them helped my mother. I rubbed my dad's slightly shiny and cold hands. The hand that once carried me on my shoulders when I was a child, and pulled me through the heavy rain, the hand that once gave me warmth and strength is no longer strong, and can only curl quietly.

As early as many years ago, my father had inexplicable low back pain. Didn't care much about it at the time. After that, he had severe low back pain again and was clearly diagnosed as lumbar disc herniation. The doctor told my father that the success rate of this surgery is generally about 50%. My father gave up surgery as a result. Over the years, it has persevered. But no one could have imagined that my father felt that the fish last time was too small, so he went out to cast the net himself, and this time he fell ill on the boat. My tears could no longer be suppressed, father, father, do you know those fish. Did people throw it in the trash?

"Don't cry!" Father looked at me.

I walked out of the room with the doctor, wiped away my tears, and asked the doctor. When my father was first carried to the hospital, he had two intervertebral discs that had prolapsed, which had squeezed the dural sac and bilateral nerve roots, and the vertebral body was unstable. The person has lost the ability to take care of himself. If there is no surgery or the operation is not complete, it will bring huge hidden dangers, and at the same time, it must be combined with traditional Chinese medicine treatment to achieve the desired effect. This treatment is difficult and risky. Possible. There is a danger to life.

After the doctor left, I walked to a corner, took out a cigarette with a trembling voice, and lit it.

Just thinking about losing my father, I felt unprecedented despair, so much so that I was terrified. The shame and grief of powerlessness made me afraid to go near the ward again. If he leaves me, I will break down, and I can't resist these but wait quietly, this torment is probably the most frightening thing.

I smoked quietly in the stairs of the hospital, and time passed me without noticing it. Saori happily called me and told me how many points her company's sales had broken through today, but she was startled by my choked voice. She didn't say anything more and just asked me where I was. I choked up and said about my father's situation, and Saori said in a calm tone Don't worry, I'll go over right away.

In the evening, the relatives are gone, the two younger sisters are at school, and the mother does not tell them. My mother went out to buy food, I sat on the chair next to the hospital bed in a daze, I watched the pedestrians on the road outside the window walking in twos and threes, there were couples, there were mothers and children, and more of a family of three. I was so envious that before I knew it, tears were streaming down again. Suddenly, the door opened, and Saori appeared in front of me with a handful of carnations. I grinned awkwardly and motioned for her to come in. The two of us sat silently, only occasionally hearing footsteps from the hallway. Saori held my hand and calmed my flustered heart a little. After a while, my mother pushed the door open and came in, and was slightly surprised to see Saori. I pulled Saori to stand up and said softly, Mom, this is my former girlfriend, Saori. I think she and I occasionally imagine my girlfriend going to see them, every time it's so abrupt, it's in the hospital.

Saori whispered, "Hello, Auntie".

Mom smiled, her eyes were still red and swollen, and she said a little tiredly, "Sit down." My mother asked me to take Saori to dinner, and I think she hurried over and didn't eat either. When I got out of the hospital, I asked Saori what she wanted to eat, and Saori said that she was not hungry and let me decide. I lit a cigarette and said, I'm not hungry, let's go and sit in the square opposite.

The moonlight was cold on the chairs by the square, and I felt very cold. Saori said, "You better eat something, you must be tired these days."

I said, "I can't eat it, thank you for coming over today."

Saori put her arm around me and said softly, "This is how it should be, don't worry too much, you can get over it."

I patted her on the head and said, "I'm really scared to have you."

Saori said, "You have to be strong, you have to take care of your mother."

I ate a bowl of noodles under Saori's persecution, and when I went back, she bought some fruit for my mother, and she said that your mother must not be able to eat lately, and it is good to eat some fruit. My heart warmed and I wanted to say thank you, but I was silent.

Saori asked me what about Lin Xi? I smiled bitterly and said, Does Lin Xi still know me?

Saori accused me of what the hell I was talking about. I said that Lin Batian was also sick, I went to take a look, it was not so strict, but Lin Xi's heart was all about work.

In the middle of the night, my father gradually opened his eyes, and his mind was a little restored. His gaze rested quietly on Saori's face, trying to see hers. Then the corners of his mouth twitched hard, and I think he was laughing. The old mother choked up again, and Saori's eyes were red and said, "Uncle, I've come to see you." Dad didn't have the strength to speak, just grunted in his throat.

When I was younger, I used to rebel against the idea that he would just rudely make me do things according to his code of conduct, without estimating my feelings. I constantly contradicted him, refuted him with reasons he didn't know, and every time I saw his eyes wide open and incoherent, I would look at him gloatingly. I blamed him for the contempt I suffered at school, blaming him for his inability. I also once watched him sit quietly on the bed smoking a cigarette when I got up at night, and I was full of sorrow. Maybe I would only really know him when I became a father, but he couldn't wait for that time. The sentence that the son wants to be filial and not treat him used to be just a bunch of blunt words in a textbook for me, but now it is a deep pain for me. When I heard these words, Saori just quietly hugged me, and I think she was the choice I missed in my life.

Lin Xi called, and said in a hurry that she had just finished working overtime and slept with her parents, I just hummed, and she hung up the phone.