Book Review by Carved Brand Mashed Potatoes

Publication time:2015-7-8,20:44:03

Original book review link:

http://forum.qdmm.com/MMthreaddetailNew.aspx?ThreadId=247123305

【Title】

The first time you contact the online game text, please include more places that you can't comment on.

Judging from the title of the book,Bag-what is a hot topic?,Contemptible people have had a few years of experience in online games.,Gun god or something should be a gun instead of a spear, right? (You're fast enough!) ）

【Introduction】

I advise the author to remove the parentheses, how can I spoil later? You've spoiled it yourself.

The Qing Dynasty or something is outdated, but since it is a time traveler, let's not care about the background of the previous life.

The identity of the heroine is still quite big, I can understand the meaning of the daughter of the medicine family, but let me bite the text and chew the words, is the daughter of the family a concubine or a concubine? Therefore, the first sentence might as well be changed to "the daughter of a medical family (concubine)" (the point is wrong!). ）

The introduction is still very decent, although there are not too many highlights, and the feeling of being the same, but it is not boring.

[Update]

A little into me crazy .

The author is big.,We actually played the same game.,I'll just say that the gun god is so emotional! To tell you the truth, I'm also a pharmacist...... After the comment, you must leave your contact information, let's communicate, maybe it's the same service.

The author has posted all the gameplay in the game very intimately, and the friends who have played this game must be no stranger.

By the way, I'll take a look at this game, it's still quite fun. Hawkers~ Let's talk about the update situation. The author is very well-behaved, there is almost no break in the situation, and the friends who like it can rest assured that they can jump into the pit.

【Beginning】

As soon as the mobile phone rang, the author had to say that he was a baby, but why was the voice echoing in my head the voice of a male duck comparable to that of a eunuch? Immediately afterwards, she confessed her identity as the heroine, not a white-collar worker, not a **silk, but a ***.

The author greatly used a stalk of "hoeing the day of noon" here, please read it with me: hoe he, day, noon. By the way, you know ~~~

The beginning feels very relaxed.,It's also a pleasure to read.,There will be a feeling of smiling.,I don't know if it's the reason why I've also played this game.,Inexplicably there's a sense of substitution.,Praise!

But the problem is also relatively existing, the first article is too bland, it's like reading a running account diary, there is no main line in the whole article, it is to answer the phone, forcibly explain the identity of the heroine, and then forcibly explain the noon of hoeing day.

If it's boring to squat, you can take a look.,If you're lying on the bed, it's estimated that you haven't finished reading a chapter.,The phone will be smashed in the face.。

Forgive me for being a bit vicious, it's because my expectations for the author are a little high, so I have to be more strict.

Also, did the heroine turn out to be just playing the game ordinarily? Playing on a computer? Lack of novelty.,I didn't understand why the author kept emphasizing that the heroine's crossing background was the Qing Dynasty.,Now I understand! Dare to love because the background of this game is also the Qing Dynasty?

Some...... Since it's just an ordinary game, what does it have to do with the heroine's medical family?

Don't tell me that there will be a very unconventional plot later, such as the heroine wearing into the game or getting a gold finger to change the game setting?

If there is, why not write it at the beginning? Readers have long since abandoned the text.

The first three chapters are all heroines' daily lives and it's too boring.,It's not advisable.,There's no exciting event in the game.,Two words:Bland.。

【Suggestion】

It is recommended that if the author has an idea after the big time, it should be moved to the front.,Such a beginning looks sleepy and immediate.。

In addition, this game is also an old game, and there may not be many people playing it, and the audience is relatively small, after all, this game is still a little worse than other popular games.

*

Author's Note:

First of all, I would like to thank the book review team for the comments that the carved brand mashed potatoes wrote to me in my busy schedule, and I am really grateful for the valuable comments that were put forward by Dada, which was indeed to the point and hit the nail on the head.

The author made revisions according to the big suggestions, and the contradiction between the heroine and the rival in love was put forward at the beginning, leaving a suspense.

I have also cut out all the excessive repetitions in the first two chapters, so as not to make the reader feel dull again.

Regarding the setting of keyboard online games, it's really because the author is a game nerd.,Today's popular holographic online games don't reflect the state of my game at all.,The plots in many novels are derived from the games I played at the time.。 Moreover, the author himself doesn't like to read holographic online games, only read keyboard online games, so readers and friends who have objections to this setting, please understand!

As for the goldfinger after the heroine crossed over, it is actually very simple, it is "pharmaceutical". The heroine was really a novice when she first came into contact with the game.,The only thing that knows is pharmaceutical.。 The embodiment of all the upgrade streams is exercised in the interaction with the male protagonist and the second male protagonist in the back.,There was no way to reflect it at first.。

The author is writing an online game essay for the first time, he is inexperienced, and he needs to be improved, thank you for the generous suggestion of Mashed Potato, I will accept it carefully, revise it well, and hope to present a novel that satisfies readers!

This article is reprinted from the original literature portal of the Internet - Starting Point Chinese Network: http://forum.qdmm.com/MMthreaddetailNew.aspx?ThreadId=247123305