Book Review by Mrs. Han

Published: 2015-07-18, 13:38:27

Link to original book review: http://bbs.qidian.com/show/896799/2

[Comment]

The title of the book is clear at a glance, the introduction is summarized, and the style of online games is played; The cover is good-looking, plus points; The introduction is a bit long, and I privately think that the four sentences containing the content of ":" are dispensable, and I can see that it is confusing.

The first two chapters are scattered.,You can delete it.,It's good to start with the third chapter directly.,Two sentences from the side in the middle.,Explain the relationship between the medical girl who came from the fourth heroine and the noon of hoe Heri.,You don't need two chapters - and these two chapters say some mobile phone ringtones.、Don't bring a key, etc.,It's not helpful in the advancement of the plot.。

The first part of the third chapter explains some game settings, and there is no need to focus on shaking out, and it is better to write them into the events.

The fourth chapter begins with a war of words, all kinds of "[channel] [game network name]:", the most important thing is that the impulse of the heroine behind is not pleasing, unless the character is a little white cripple, but personally, I don't love this kind of character heroine.

Chapter 5 The heroine's greeting of other people's ancestors and female relatives for generations is overreacting, and the image of Xiaobai is further established, and there is a war of words behind it......

The first nine chapters, if there is a main line or the sense of upgrade that readers expect, it is probably to brush the mirror equipment, but the process of writing and brushing is not even the length of a chapter, and the middle is full of water.

My feeling is that through the introduction point, I hope to meet a heroine who is proficient in ancient Chinese medicine, and in a game where the setting is synchronized with reality, muffled adventures and make a fortune - even if it is not muffled, the focus is on the process of accumulating wealth, rising to fame, and even continuing the achievements in the game to reality.

However, the first two chapters gave me water that I couldn't find the north, and the personal taste of the next two chapters was directly not set on the heroine's personality, so the blow to the enthusiasm for chasing the text was huge.

It is recommended that the author make an outline, including the personality positioning of several major protagonists and important supporting characters, as well as a list of major events and arrange the number of chapters for each major event, leaving no room for water.

*

Author's Note:

First of all, I would like to thank Mrs. Han for her valuable advice, and the author has cut down the problems that have been too much in the previous chapters, and I hope to improve them.

The unavoidable content is: hoe He and the afternoon are important supporting roles, the war of words is writing about the appearance of the male protagonist, and the contradictions and conflicts between the first male and the third male (it will spoil if you are not careful).

About the setting of the heroine: It's really a little white! When the heroine touches the game, she doesn't know anything except for taking medicine and medicine. Readers who like strong women's articles, I'm really sorry for everyone, this article is not a strong women's article. Embarrassment......

About the outline: Before the novel was written, there was a 20,000-word outline, a detailed list of events, and a total of four volumes (now the first volume written by the master has ended), so you can rest assured that you can jump into the pit.

Thank you again Mrs. Han for your advice!