It's March again, and kites are flying all over the sky. The weather was sunny and cloudless.

Hello everyone, my name is Chen Chong. Male, second in line, I've always thought I'm only twenty-three years old since three years ago. Weight confidential. After-sales service personnel of a brand company of professional household appliances, simply a repairman. Hobbies of secrecy. The three Cs of the table word. I'm a cultural person, really.

The above is not the main point of what I am going to talk about, but the following will be the beginning.

On March 15th, a weekend afternoon, the sun came in warmly from the windowsill. I had some difficulty getting out of bed, my stomach had been out of work for more than thirty-six hours, so I had to get up.

The right thing is to climb, because if I bend up, I'll either have a mouthful of sour water or hold my breath. It's hard for me to explain that it's a heavy price.

Speaking of my body, it was a scene of childhood that could not be looked back on. I was six years old that year, and Xiaohua next door was five and a half years old, we danced rubber bands together, pasted pictures together, threw sandbags together, and when we were tired of playing, we peed together, of course, I was standing, and Xiaohua was squatting. Another year, I'm seven years old, Xiaohua is six years old, don't tell me that Xiaohua should be six and a half years old, because what I'm going to talk about is the spring of that year.

"Little flower. Marry me when you grow up. I lifted my pants up my navel with one hand, and quickly wiped my snot with my sleeve with the other.

"My mother told my eldest sister that day that when looking for a boyfriend, you need to find a mature and stable boy. I saw you wiping your nose just now. ”

I remember Xiaohua looked very disdainful when she said that.

Later, I began to develop in the direction of maturity and stability, but later when I developed to the point where I ran a few steps and gasped, I thought I was stable.

I went to find Xiaohua with hope. But Xiaohua told me that she likes boys with deep connotations. And what I have is a body sink.

Later, I thought about it for a long time, and finally understood that Xiaohua couldn't read my heaviness.

It is also because of the above reasons. At the moment, I only have a goddess in my life, and I don't have a girlfriend. So, after I was hungry for thirty-six hours, I was heading for the supermarket. I know that my galloping is about the average person to squirm.

I chose five bags of instant noodles, five steamed buns, five steamed buns, and a bag of frozen dumplings. Fruit in the supermarket is too expensive, and I plan to buy some fruit in the alley when I go back.

As I said earlier, this is the third day of March of the year, so when I saw a white-haired old man squatting under the wall, with a basket of peaches in front of him, I couldn't help but walk up to me.

"Yo, I've had peaches so early. Peach? How is it sold? I squatted down beside the old man and asked the old man with a peach in my hand.

"Hey, kid knows the goods. It's a peach. Look, do you want to take a bite? The old man smiled at me with his mouth open with two less front teeth.

I have to admit that the old man's words were too tempting, because when I heard him say that he wanted to take a bite or not, I really didn't control it, and half of the peach in my hand was already in my mouth.

I looked at the peach in my hand a little embarrassed, and smiled: "That, that one didn't control it, I'm sorry." By the way, uncle, how do you sell peaches? Don't let me eat a peach from you, you will take the opportunity to trap me. As I spoke, one hand rubbed a few times against the heel of my shoe. I have already planned, if the old man dares to say that the price is more than twenty yuan, I will immediately smear the peaches with my dirty hands, saying that my stomach hurts when he eats peaches.

When the old man heard what I had said, he threw me a look of contempt and said with a treacherous expression, "Out of breath." Grandson, alas, peaches don't want money. ”

You've heard it, this shameless old man, calling my grandson. I just called him something, uncle. I'm calling uncle. It's shameless, but who made me lose it first. I got up and decided to leave, not to be like the old man.

"Don't go, kid. I have to take care of my grandfather's meal. The old man stretched out his shriveled hand and grabbed my clothes.

I looked at the old man, then at the pedestrians who passed by from time to time, and then at the steamed bun instant noodles in my hand, and felt weak.

"Your uncle's." What else can I choose, I can only consider myself unlucky.

"Grandson, do you understand respecting the old and loving the young?" The old man snatched the last bun in my hand, squatted on the stool and took a sip of the teacup, looking like he was enjoying it.

"I ......" I really don't understand, why this old thing is so unkind, it's just an old rascal, but for the sake of I've already eaten three buns, I don't plan to bully the old man, and more importantly, the dumplings in my pot should be cooked.

"Vinegar, vinegar? Go, bring me the vinegar. "The old thing still looks unpolite, and it makes people hate toothache.

"Old rascal, don't think that the master is easy to bully." When I took the vinegar out of the kitchen, I happened to see the old thing sneaking dumplings from my bowl. I can't help but get angry and say who's the master here.

"No wonder it looks like this. Fat boy, you come to help grandpa count, how many dumplings are in grandpa's bowl? ”

I picked up the rice bowl and pulled the dumplings into my mouth. Thinking with hatred, I don't bother to pay attention to you old rascal, sir.

Woohoo, woohoo......

"You say you're an immortal?" I instantly stood up from my stool.

Don't ask me why I stood on the stool, anyway, when I heard the old rascal tell me that he was a fairy, I stood on the stool excitedly.

Five seconds later, I was fighting with the old stuff with the cigarette case in my hand. I had to do this, this old thing is so hateful, eat my food, smoke my cigarettes, and finally, try to pretend to be a god in front of me to cheat me out of a little money.

"I admit that it's wrong for me to eat your peaches, but you can't insult the master's IQ if you are an old thing." I grabbed the old man by the collar and glanced at the old man's feet, which were at least fifteen centimeters above the ground.

"Grandson, let go. Grandpa, I'm a fairy. ”

I really admire this old guy, maybe he has reached the kind of state where he wants to deceive people, and deceive himself first. Well, just like hypnosis, he looks like his grandfather is a fairy. I feel very sad, I met such an old thing, I can't beat him, you said that if I touch him, my old arm and leg will be broken, you have to rely on me.

"Okay. Tell me what are the numbers drawn in this lotto? "I pulled out my last cigarette and was exhausted.

"Cut. Grandpa is a god. Not a machine. Even if it's a machine, it's a robot cat. ”

Listen, how justified the old thing is. However, I was instantly filled with pity for the old thing, what an innocent old rascal, he actually believed that it was a machine lottery. Faced with such an old thing, I decided not to entangle with him.

"Old fellow, are you sure you're an immortal? How did you lose your front teeth? ”

"Huh?" The old guy probably didn't expect me to ask such a question, and then he covered his mouth shyly, and finally his eyes were filled with something called tears, and he said emotionally: "Grandpa just stole a few fairy walnuts from Lao Jun to eat, then knowing that the shell of this thing is quite hard, he broke his two front teeth." ”

Tell me, what should I say? Whoever shows you the bad old man with two less front teeth is not a fairy. This old guy is purely amusing the master. I decided to have a good chat with the old guy as an after-dinner pastime.

"Dare to ask where the old immortal abode is? How to call it? ”

"Grandpa is too platinum. Residence is confidential. Even if you don't know, you kid won't know, and you won't be able to go. The old fellow bared his teeth and scorned me.

"Old rascal, have a better attitude. The master doubts that you can communicate happily like this. I took one last puff of my cigarette, slowly exhaled the cigarette, and then continued, "It's too platinum." The one who recruited Brother Monkey in Journey to the West? The obscene-looking one in the spring Pig Bajie? ”

"Grandson! You listen. The old guy pointed at me with some uncontrollable emotions, raised his head and said: "Grandpa, I was originally Li Changgeng, a Taoist from Yuzhou Moyuan, Dao No., Du Er, and a water-eyed golden-eyed beast under the seat. After a hundred days of tribulation in the Yunguang Cave, he cultivated his true body. Now my grandfather is ordered by the Jade Emperor to monitor the good and evil in the world, and is known as the Western Patrol. ”

"Water-eyed beast? Where's it, play with the master. "I remember hearing this thing somewhere, and I felt pretty powerful, so I couldn't help but ask.

"Is that what you kid can play? Little fat man, grandpa said it for a long time, you can believe it. The old fellow's eyes looked at me eagerly.

"Oh. Got it. I haven't heard what you're talking about. I just want to know if it's the one in Journey to the West. Oh, I see, monitor the good and evil in the world, Lord Chenghuang. No wonder you say so much I don't know, the master just said, generally famous immortals, how can the master not know. ”

When I saw the old guy's angry face, I knew I had probably messed with someone I shouldn't have messed with. As if to prove my hunch, for a moment, the first thing I noticed was that the belt around my waist was loosened, and then I felt a cool feeling in my crotch, like a cool breeze blowing in the heat of summer. What a treat it is, it's intoxicating.

I have to say that after that moment, I found myself losing weight. As I went from wide to narrow, I seemed to go from short to tall. I couldn't care about the pants that had fallen off, so I only grabbed the pants with my hand and cried: "I've lost weight." I've lost weight. It's true. ”

Really, I've lost weight.