"Did you go to bed?"

It was the first thing she said to me, and her tone was flat and expressionless, as if she were talking about a trivial matter. She picked up her coffee and blew it on her lips, but her eyes drifted out of the window, as if she didn't care about the answer.

Outside the window, the snow was drifting in large expanses, howling in the north wind, and the snow was like a beast that had broken through its cage, and it was venting wildly and wantonly, as if it was deliberately announcing its second coming to the world in this invincible way.

Snow, the first snow of the year.

Winter is still coming.

Today is December 22, the winter solstice.

When I got up in the morning, it was already snowing outside the window, I packed up and went to work as usual, and when I went out, I happened to meet Lu Xue and was about to go out, she said hello to me, I curled the corners of my mouth in response, and when I was about to go downstairs, I heard Lu Xue repeat, "Brother Xiaoshan, good morning." With her usual smile.

I stopped, thought for a moment, and went back into the house, changing into the coat that Luxue had given me. When I went out again, I saw Luxue standing at the door smiling and waiting for me.

"It's snowing outside, so pay more attention to your body." She said, smiling as much as ever, caring as ever.

There are very few customers in the Internet café on a snowy day, and I am also idle, Wang Huan is still browsing the online store, sighing or cursing from time to time, Aunt Liu is dozing off on the chair, and the customers seem to have become lazy because of the snowy day, and even the voice of the voice is much quieter than usual. This should have been a quiet and comfortable day, if Sun Hao hadn't appeared.

What is due will come, just as winter.

At ten o'clock in the morning, Sun Hao came, looking a little flustered, he said that someone was waiting for me, and then he couldn't help but say that he would grab me and leave. Before I could get there, I was in a hurry to ask what was going on, and he led me to a café not far from the Internet café.

When he entered the door, he respectfully introduced me to a middle-aged woman, and whispered to me that this was Lu Xue's mother. After that, he postponed a sentence, pushed the door and left, and disappeared into the snowstorm.

Luxue's mother looked me up and down, gestured to my seat, and motioned for me to sit down. I sat across from her, not knowing what to say for a moment.

She looked at me and asked calmly, "Did you go to bed?" The tone was extremely flat, as if he was talking about a trivial matter. Then I picked up my coffee and blew it on my lips, but her eyes drifted out of the window, as if she didn't care about my answer.

"If you, forget about each other faster." She put down the cup and said flatly, still not looking at me.

Forget about the other person to be faster. I looked up at her with some blankness, forgetting, forgetting Luxue, no, I didn't want to forget.

"Actually, I heard about you three or four years ago," she continued, "You're Xiao Hao's classmate, and my parents have passed away, so I'm sorry to mention your sadness." She looked at me and said apologetically.

I shook my head slightly, signaling to her that it was nothing.

"That year, after Xiaoxue went to the university to see Xiaohao, I found that there was a person living in her heart. I don't know who that person is, what kind of identity background he has, what kind of experience he has, and I can also say that I don't care who that person is, I care more about her growth than who lives in my daughter's heart temporarily. ”

She looked at me with a smile, but I felt that she wasn't looking at me, or that she didn't care who was sitting across from her, like a set, like a set, like snow outside the window, whether the snow fell or not, winter would always come.

"My daughter has finally grown up, and I often feel like this at that time." She chuckled and looked out the window again, smiling, the smile really resembling Luxue's. After that, Xiaoxue wouldn't tell me everything, she would often think about her thoughts, but whenever I asked, she blushed and passed perfunctorily. Hehe, it's really cute. ”

She burst out laughing, then picked up the cup and took a sip of coffee, and continued, "But then Xiaoxue changed, became silent, quiet, and began to like tea, she would often sit quietly all day, or read quietly alone, completely free of distractions, I was worried for a while." Is this still my lively, cheerful, a little cunning, a little cautious, and a little longing daughter? ”

"From then on, she no longer looked at me with dependence, and from then on she began to smile habitually, and that smile was very light, but very clean, very pure, but that smile seemed to me to be missing something, as if it was not me who made her smile."

"My daughter has become smarter, from ignorance to omniscience, but my worries have become heavier, and the questions she asks me have become answers to all questions, even answers that I didn't even think of and didn't notice, or simply refused. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, I hesitated for a long time and still couldn't bear to puncture the dream that my daughter had woven by herself, I knew, I always knew that what made her change was the person who walked into her heart, the person who lived in her heart temporarily. Daughters have to grow up. ”

"Maybe that's the price of growth." She paused, and after a long while, she continued, "Since then, I haven't bothered about my daughter's studies, she could have gone to a better university, even abroad, she has really applied for the exam, but she insists on coming here, I know she is here to see you, although I have been deceiving myself, but I know that you are her direction, at least temporarily." ”

"Me"

"But where can you take her?" She interrupted me, looked me straight at me, and asked calmly, as before, as if she didn't care about my answer.

"Where can you take her? In this increasingly competitive world, where can you, the administrator of an Internet café, take her there? ”

"Me"

"I know what kind of person you are, I have understood, I have long understood, your parents died early, giving you more opportunities to understand and adapt to this society, but unfortunately you have no platform, your sanity, calmness, give you a better chance of success, but you have no channel, you are down-to-earth, sincere and pragmatic, but you don't let go of the changes in this world, you, Zhao Qishan, where can you take He Luxue to?"

"Me"

I don't know, I don't know when my life has become monotonous, simple, I have no goal, just instinctively and mechanically moving forward, moving forward on the monotonous road of nothingness, without direction, without goal, and even unable to stop, maybe the meaning of life for me is to keep myself alive.

"Brother Xiaoshan, Brother Xiaoshan, are you okay, don't scare me."

Lu Xue's eager voice suddenly came from her ears, Lu Xue, why is she here? Luxue, maybe, maybe I'm not fit to be around her, maybe it's better for her to go her own way, I thought, but, no, I don't want to lose Luxue.

"What's wrong with him?"

"It's nothing, Brother Xiaoshan is thinking about things."

"Oh, it's autism, right?"

"No, it's not." Lu Xue said a little unconfidently.

"Why are you here?" I looked at Lu Xue, who had an eager face, and asked.

"My brother said that my mother suddenly wanted to see you, so that's why I came over." She forced a forced smile, her face full of self-reproach and worry.

"You shouldn't have come." Luxue's mother said.

"Mom, but"

"We're done, I think he's got a choice, let's go back."

"But, Mom, I"

"Isn't this good, look at him, what capital does he have to ensure his life?" She looked at me, then at Luxue, and said calmly.

"But, but"

"A person who can only walk in a small area, over time will regard the world around him as the whole world, no longer want to pursue, no longer want to have, your father is such a person, I don't want you to make the same mistake as me."

"But but," Lu Xue's voice choked a little, wiping her eyes from time to time.

Tears, she cried.

Perhaps, it would be better for her to pursue her own world.

"Daughter, you always have to give up something in life, this is the price of growing up, I know what women need most, but this is China, not a fairy tale world."

"Mom, I" Lu Xue finally cried, looking at me with teary eyes, she didn't care about the tears, and let the tears flow freely.

I, I think it's time for me to go, maybe it's best to leave.

I stood up and walked out of the café dazedly, into the raging snowstorm.

I turned around and looked at the café, which seemed to become illusory in the snow, as if it had become so far away.

I seemed to hear the real and magical singing from the café again.

Like this ordinary name,

Accept this ordinary and ordinary appearance,

Rejoice in this busy day,

Good thing to have you.

Find a kind and kind wife,

Raise a smart and intelligent child,

Think of a simple truth,

Live a lifetime.