(Weekend update)

"Senior, it's too boring, let's tell the story."

Trapped Volcanic ...... No, on the twentieth day of the great cause of watching, all the mahjong brought by Liu Mengyuan had been rubbed into a tabula rasa, and the table was about to fall apart. The state of the three of them is worse than the other, even if Liu Mengyuan, who stands there every day and stares below, his eyes are sunken, and his face is stubble, not to mention Wan Rongbing and Xing Lao.

Every day he carved a small stone on the wall, and the four "positive" characters were written on it for a long time, as if it had been twenty years, wishing that he could sleep through these painful forty-nine days.

"Okay, let's tell the story." Liu Mengyuan said.

The three of them sat down face to face, and Wan Rongbing said, "Elder Xing, you are the youngest, you can come first." ”

"Your Excellency, come first."

"You come first!"

"Bastard!" Liu Mengyuan snorted violently, "Do you have to push back on this matter, Elder Xing, you say it first!" ”

Xing Lao thought for a while: "Once upon a time, there was a person who was invited to eat the Manchu Han banquet, there were braised duck feet, there was braised sea bass with green onions, there was bird's nest abalone, there was shark fin, ......" He suddenly cried, "There are also hairy crabs!" ”

Wan Rongbing shed tears with empathy.

Xing Lao cried and said, "He eats and eats, and he eats so happily...... and finally he couldn't cry anymore.

"It's not promising!" Liu Mengyuan said, "Finished? ”

Xing Lao wiped his tears and nodded.

"Wan Rongbing, come on...... If you eat more, I'll beat you to death! ”

"Then let me tell you a poignant love story." Wan Rongbing thought for a while, "There was once a scholar who married a beautiful wife, and the two stayed with each other and swore to die in vain. The scholar tried and failed, and the life of the family became poorer and poorer, so poor that he ate instant noodles and boiled eggs in hot springs every day, and his wife struggled to support him. One day, a high-ranking official passed by this town and was attracted by the beauty of the scholar's wife, but was politely refused. In anger, the senior official falsely accused the scholar of being a rebel and arrested him, but he was inexplicably released a few days later, and the official only said "Mistaken!" When the scholar returned home, he found that his wife had left, and the neighbor told him that his wife had gone with the official...... The scholar who was carried away by anger thought that his wife had abandoned him, so he studied hard, and this year he was invited to the house by the prime minister to a banquet, and they ate braised duck feet, braised sea bass with green onions, bird's nest abalone, shark fin, and hairy crab......"

Xing Lao was drooling and crying, Liu Mengyuan coughed, and Wan Rongbing hurriedly stopped.

"It is said that people rely on clothes, and the prime minister may not have seen this scholar before, but the scholar recognized this prime minister as the official who took away his wife at that time. At the end of the banquet, the scholar saw the prime minister's concubine, that is, his former wife, and the two looked at each other silently, with a thousand words but could not speak...... It turned out that his innocence and fame were exchanged for herself, and when she saw that her husband was finally the top student in high school, she hanged herself, and the scholar who heard the news was sad and indignant, and silently put her favorite beef and tofu hot pot on his wife's grave......"

"It's so touching!" Xing Lao said with his saliva in one hand and tears in the other.

"It's boring!" Liu Mengyuan said, "Let you see how powerful I am." ”

"The seniors are going to tell the story."

Liu Mengyuan said with a gloomy face: "This is a true story in the newspaper!" There was a veteran who had participated in the battle, and there was a three-year-old boy under his knees, and the father and son depended on each other in the mountain village, because they loved their son too much, and the veteran bought him a long-life lock. Once a veteran comrade-in-arms came to visit him, and he cooked a table of food to greet his old friend......"

"A table of food?" The two swallowed, their eyes wide.

Liu Mengyuan continued: "...... During the meal, his comrades-in-arms asked him, 'Brother, are you getting better here?' He pointed to his head. The veteran said strangely, 'My illness here?' His comrade-in-arms said, 'Can't you remember?' In 40 years, we were trapped in the mountains without food or drink, and in order to survive and complete the mission, we did a sinful thing - eating the corpses of our comrades! Our group of people either got a weird illness or went crazy, and you had a very bad amnesia, and the doctor said you were trying to forget that terrible memory. The veteran was surprised and said, 'I have amnesia?' You're kidding! The comrade-in-arms said solemnly: 'How can you joke, as soon as you get sick, you will do terrible things, and then you will not remember anything.' ''Is there such a thing?'' Then the old soldier suddenly caught a long-lived lock from the large plate of lamb ribs on the table, and his mind buzzed, and he ran into the house to look for his son, but there was no trace of him anywhere, and in the kitchen there were several stripped children's clothes, and there were bloodstains! ”…,

This was originally a terrible story, but Liu Mengyuan laughed after speaking: "This story shows that human beings are so fragile, eating the corpse of their companion once will cause problems, it is really an inferior race." ”

Wan Rongbing suddenly woke up from his dream for a long time: "Ah, why didn't I think of it, human flesh can also be eaten, it is said that people's alias is two-legged sheep." As he spoke, he set his eyes on Xing Lao.

Xing Lao shuddered and shouted uneasily, "Little brother, what do you think I'm doing?" ”

"Bastard!" Liu Mengyuan scolded majestically, "Don't you all applaud? ”

……

Insect Ting was harassed, and when she came back from grocery shopping that day, she shouted: "Sister Jin, someone is harassing me!" ”

"You shouted injustice, shouted so loudly." Jin Xuan said.

"That's right, if you are harassed, you have to swallow your anger, especially an inferior gender like you, don't imagine that someone will give you justice, this world is our male!" Lu Su said.

"What? Inferior gender? Jin Duan squinted at him.

"Open...... Just kidding. Lu Su said tremblingly.

"Who's harassing you?" "Have you ever poked that man in the eye, kicked the ball, broke the arm, or trampled the knee?" ”

"No, nothing was done."

"How can you be so uncompetitive, didn't I educate you that if someone harasses you, you will be beaten to death?"

"What do you usually teach her?" Lu Su said.

"It is these bad people who harass our fellow citizens in the streets as they want and do nothing, as you swallow and do nothing. Conniving at crime is tantamount to being an accomplice, do you know that sexual harassment is punishable by death in law, and the whole family sits together. ”

"Whose law is it?" Lu Su whispered.

"My family!"

"Hey, when you encounter this kind of thing, it's all about comforting the victim, how can you be like a prisoner."

"I'm angry!"

Insect Ting suddenly blinked and said with a grin, "Guess why I didn't beat that person?" ”

"What kind of reaction do you have, when you encounter this kind of thing, you should be disheveled, with scratches on your bare chest, and you should kneel on the ground and cry."

"Is it a woman?" Jin Xuan said.

Worm Ting shook her head.

"How can a woman sexually harass a woman, why should a woman be embarrassed by a woman." Lu Su said.

"Sister Jin is often that me."

"Oh...... You two are a little dangerous, have you ever grinded? ”

"Grinding what?"

"Grind that mirror, forget it, when I didn't say it!" (Grinding mirrors is a magic horse play, you can take a look)

"Guess again!" Insect Ting said.

"You have a prize competition, I guess the other party is a person who can't fight, you are such a person who respects the old and loves the young, and the other party is either a child or an old man, the child's hair does not grow and the libido does not exist, the other party must be an old man, and he is seventy or eighty." Lu Su said a long list of speculations.

"yes, that's right."

"You don't have life experience, do you?" Jin Duanhu said suspiciously.

"How can I have a life experience of such a thing!" Lu Su remembered some things he had heard before, and was excited, "Hey, I know that some old men are the most, such as walking with their hands crossed like this, and their elbows are not honest and deliberately rubbing against young girls, such as this......" He "harassed" Jin Duan, "Also, for example, when shopping things, I deliberately stick very close, and rub my body against others, such as this, ......" and demonstrated with Jin Duan, "Not to mention the favorite way of 'let me touch my breasts and I can tell your age'." ”

"And say that you have no life experience, what did you do before!" Jin Broken said with his eyebrows upside down.

"Learn ...... Learn journalism. ”

"When I came back from grocery shopping today, there was an old man in the car who kept sticking to me and touched my buttocks."

"Like this?" Lu Su slapped Jin's broken ass. …,

"It's not that loud! Quietly touched, I screamed, and when I looked back, it was an old man......"

"What's wrong with the old man, the old man is also beaten, there is no object to punish and eliminate evil."

The old man over there poked his head out of the room: "Say me? ”

"It's none of your business, get out of here!"

"Worm Ting was harassed by an old man." Lu Su said.

"What?" The old man's expression was as if he had been harassed, and he ran in to ask long and short questions, as if it had happened as if it was a rape case, and finally sighed, "Alas, honor is the most important thing, and women in ancient times had to chop off their arms when they were touched by someone." ”

"Do you want to chop your ass if you get touched?" Worm Ting asked, sticking out her tongue.

"Yes!"

"Old man, what era are you looking for?" Lu Su said.

Jin Duan suddenly snapped his fingers: "Come on, let's be a chaste martyr once, chop off an arm!" ”

"What?"

"Come on, come on!" She forcibly dragged Worm Ting to the kitchen, only to hear a scream inside, and the sound of flesh and bone separation was unbearable.

Then, the two walked out, one of Worm Ting's sleeves was empty, Jin Duan grabbed an arm, Lu Su asked puzzledly, "What are you chopping her arm for?" It's the buttocks. ”

"It's hard to chop the buttocks, so I have to chop the arms."

"Don't engage in formalism, okay, what's the point of chopping off your arm...... Does it hurt, one-armed gods. ”

"It hurts!" Insect Ting wanted to cry and said, "Sister Jin is too much. ”

Jin Duan smiled evilly and said, "Since he is an old man and can't be beaten, we will kill him in other ways!" Sue, you and Worm go to the old man's house and throw this arm in front of his house. ”

Lu Su knowingly said: "What a vicious way, but I don't know where to find him." ”

"Don't you know? Do you know it by chopping hands? ”

"Ah, I can't go!" Lu Su was so frightened that he stuck out his tongue.

Insect Ting took Lu Su to find the station where the old man got off, and Lu Su said to her, "Protect me!" Worm Ting "oh" and pulled out her sword.

"It's not this kind of protection, I'm going to close my eyes now."

"Got it." Worm put away her weapon.

With the upside-down preparation in his palm, it was easy to find the old man's home, and while no one was paying attention, he threw the broken arm into his house...... When they turned to leave, there was a scream from inside, which was probably a soul-scaring thing for ordinary people.

"No, that's too much!" Worm Ting walked back.

"Come back! People who sexually harass are big evildoers who have rotten hearts, do you want to protect this kind of people? ”

"Ah, I see!"

This girl is really easy to educate, Lu Su thought to himself.

The next day, an elderly man who lived alone found the woman's broken arm at home, and he was frightened at that time, and now he is suffering from a heart attack and is lying in the hospital.

Jin Duan looked at the newspaper and smiled evilly: "The wicked will eventually be rewarded, isn't it?" ”

"Yes, on the premise that good people are willing to pay the price of blood."

"I plan to set up a sexual harassment counter-attack operation center to protect the majority of compatriots."

"But...... I don't think you can generalize this experience. ”