I quietly looked at the building that was covered by layers of green nets, and I couldn't help but fantasize about the happy appearance of Gu Ran in a wedding dress and smiling waiting for the groom to take her off the car, although I don't know what kind of mood Gu Ran was in at that moment, but I am sure that she will be happier than when she was with me.

After waiting for a long time, I took a puff of cigarette and said into the phone, "Next week, I'll go buy a train ticket in the evening!" ”

Dad said again: "You go and contact Ran Ran's child first, and then buy a ticket to come back with her when the time comes!" ”

I didn't want to tell my dad Gu Ran the news that he was getting married this week, so I said casually: "Let's talk about this matter, I haven't contacted her for two years, whether I can get in touch is one thing!" ”

Dad was silent for a while before he said, "If you can't get in touch, I can contact her myself, I remember she said that her number won't be changed!" ”

I asked suspiciously, "How do you know that her number won't change, have you called her before?" ”

Dad groaned and said, "After you left, she came back once, and she hasn't seen her since!" But no matter what, you must bring her back this time, your grandmother doesn't know how many days are left, maybe it is a question of whether she can wait until you come back, so don't let her go with regrets! ”

I felt a pang in my heart, said "yes", and then chatted with my dad for a while, then hung up the phone in a hurry, and sat alone on the balcony smoking a cigarette......

When the neon of the night was reflected in my retina in turn, I realized that I had been sitting on the balcony like a fool for several hours, when Sun Zhenzhen had woken up and took a blanket to cover my shoulders, I turned around to look at Sun Zhenzhen, only to see that she smiled slightly, and she had faded away from the malaise of the afternoon.

After Sun Zhenzhen sat down next to me, he asked me, "Boss, do you think there is a paradise in this world?" ”

I followed Sun Zhenzhen's gaze towards the endless dark sky, and then pointed to the flickering airplane beacon light in the night sky and said, "Did you see it?" That's a shining star, so where there are stars, there must be another place, and that place is heaven! ”

Sun Zhenzhen looked at me with a somewhat ugly face: "Are you cursing those who take the plane to go to heaven?" ”

When Sun Zhenzhen said this, I realized how vicious my analogy was, so I explained with a smile: "I'm just praying that all those who have been involved in accidents because of airplanes can live happily in heaven!" ”

Sun Zhenzhen looked at me: "Obviously he is the devil, but he still compares himself to Jesus as holy!" ”

I touched my nose embarrassedly, and said, "By the way, I plan to go back to my hometown next week, if you have time, help me take care of the stall, and you can take all the money you earn!" ”

"Do you think I care about your money?" Sun Zhenzhen continued to stare at me and asked me, "Why do you suddenly want to go back, or ...... I'll go back with you! ”

I subconsciously replied: "What do you go to my hometown to see, I'll go back to see my seriously ill grandmother, I don't have time to take you around!" ”

Sun Zhenzhen's eyes suddenly began to moisten again, and said, "Boss, I said that I would go wherever you go, I don't have a home now, you shouldn't just leave me in Shanghai!" ”

I looked at Sun Zhenzhen speechlessly: "You really think too much, I will go back for about a week at most, and I will rush back as soon as I am done!" ”

"Oh...... That'...... good," Sun Zhenzhen said, changing his mood and grinning and hugging my arm.

……

At about eight o'clock, I was back at the stall again, when not far from me, I inadvertently heard the familiar melody "The Aftermath Forever" sounding again, just as I had heard from the bearded homeless man I had met with Suman at the crossroads of that highway.

I subconsciously walked over to that side and found him sitting under a neon plane tree on the edge of the road, so I didn't bother, but sat down quietly next to him, and then lit a cigarette for myself, wondering if Suman would show up at this time? But in the end, after waiting for a long time, I didn't see Suman, as if she had never appeared in my world.

After another period of time, the homeless man glanced at me who was squatting next to him and smoking, then smiled politely at me, and then put away the stall and left, I wanted to stop him and hand him a cigarette to smoke, but in the end before he could speak, he quickly disappeared from my sight, and at this time I also took out my mobile phone again, and looked at the little pig on Su Man's WeChat avatar and some chat records in the smoke, and unconsciously laughed......

Time went back two days, and in the blink of an eye, it was a weekend morning, according to the schedule, I booked a ticket for next Tuesday, so I handed over some trivial things in Shanghai to Sun Zhenzhen in advance, and then packed some clothes to take home, and after everything was almost ready, I sent a text message to Gu Ran, asking her if she had time at this time.

After waiting for a long time, Gu Ran didn't reply to my message, I couldn't help but feel a little lost in my heart, maybe Gu Ran should be carrying out her wedding at this time, or maybe she was spending her honeymoon abroad with Lu Hui, or maybe they were lying on the bed at home at this time enjoying the joy of love......

I took out a photo of myself and Gu Ran from the mezzanine of my wallet, in which we hugged each other tightly and looked at each other and kissed wildly...... Once again, I felt my vision blur, and I smiled a little self-deprecatingly, and then tore the photo to shreds with my memory, fucking love...... Farewell, Gu Ran, don't say goodbye to my love!

I hugged the guitar that Suman left, and then sat on the balcony according to the score and tried to play and sing Suman's favorite song "The Future" for the first time: "When a ship sinks to the bottom of the sea, when a person becomes a mystery, you don't know why they left, that goodbye is his last ......"

I once thought that I lived just to live, but what is the meaning of life to me, the first time I felt the taste of loneliness and separation was so painful, the people closest to me left one after another, and I could only helplessly watch them leave, what was my last faith? Life is so realistic, where should I go from here? I had a stomach full of bitterness and wanted to talk to someone, but at this time, I searched through the entire phone address book, and I couldn't find a friend who could drink and chat with me......

I don't know how long later, sitting on the balcony, my legs gradually began to become numb, at this moment, the original silence, also with a knock on the door, I instinctively looked back and wanted to stand up, but because of the numbness of my legs, I staggered and fell to the ground.

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