Extremely suppressed emotions needed to be released, so I thought of games. Reopen the long-lost online game, open three numbers at a time, large with small numbers, crazy brushing books. I think the big and small monsters represented by the red dots on the map are cancer cells. "Kill", "kill", "kill" ......, while constantly calling in my heart, I eliminated one monster after another, and I felt as if I had erased one cancer cell after another. Although it is self-deception, no matter what, the depression in my heart has finally been released to a certain extent.

Closing the game and returning from the unreal to reality, I can't help but feel a little more lost. How I wish my father's cancer cells had really become monsters in the game! At the slightest possibility, I want to kill those damn cancer cells with my own hands.

I've always been very rational, but at this moment, I can't contain that unrealistic thought in my heart no matter what. Originally, the effect of the game on mental relaxation was basically not used much this time. After the short, illusory and exhilarating "killing", the huge contrast between the unreal and the real made me more obviously aware of my helplessness and helplessness. The pain in my heart became more and more intense.

Time has passed, and I would never have imagined that what was once the greatest pleasure and enjoyment would now turn into pain and even torture. At this time, I have to sigh that human beings are indeed very emotional animals, and it is completely possible to obtain two diametrically opposed feelings about the same thing due to different moods.

The Qingming Festival is finally coming, and we don't have any other arrangements. Everyone returned to their hometown without any suspense. "During the Qingming Festival, it rains a lot, and the pedestrians on the road want to break their souls", this is a sad gray festival, but this time, our family still shows a happy reunion atmosphere out of time. Even my sister, brother-in-law, wife, and I, who learned the whole truth, knew each other very well and carefully buried our worries deep in our hearts.

Although my father's spirit was not as good as before due to the carousel cells, the smile on my father's face was still very obvious during the whole holiday when his children and grandchildren gathered together and the family affection was strong. This situation is exactly what we as children want to see the most. Before the surgery, we all wanted my father to be as happy as possible. Because, who can say for sure the outcome of the operation?

April 7 is the last day of the Qingming Festival holiday, and the time for my father's surgery is scheduled for April 8. In fact, on April 6th, I was already nervous. On the evening of April 6, we all came to the city. My parents still live in my house. The pace of time is unstoppable, and whether you want it or not, April 7th will always come. Early this morning, I accompanied my parents to the Municipal People's Hospital with great trepidation.

Even though I knew that I would not have surgery today, I couldn't help but get more nervous as the distance from the hospital got closer. The more nervous I feel, the more I feel like time is slowing down. What used to be a fleeting journey now feels like a long one.

I finally arrived at the hospital and took my parents up to the twenty-first floor. I asked, but the attending physician was not there. However, everything for today, he seems to have arranged it a long time ago. As soon as I got there, a nurse came to change the mattress and take my father's temperature and blood pressure ....... The only thing I wasn't happy with was that my father's hospital bed was still in the hallway.

As mentioned before, although the reputation of the Municipal People's Hospital is not very good, the locals, in many cases, have to come here. As a result, the inpatient area for cardiothoracic surgery is very crowded, and many patients are placed in extra beds due to the limited number of beds. When my father was first hospitalized, he was also placed in an extra bed because he was still away from the knife for a while. It didn't matter before, but tomorrow I'm going to have surgery. Could it be that after the operation, you still have to sleep in the hallway? How can you rest when people come and go?

Thinking of this, I was very dissatisfied, and began to negotiate with someone. Due to the absence of the attending physician, I had to find someone else. According to my observation the other day, the person in the white coat is usually a doctor. When I saw one of them go to the nurse's bar, I rushed over as fast as I could. Now, I finally deeply experienced the rumored service attitude of the Municipal People's Hospital.

I shouted "doctor" and "doctor" for a long time, but the person didn't look at me. Looking for all the things he needed, the "doctor" with high eyes left as if no one was around. At that time, I was a little skeptical that I was invisible.

Later, when I became familiar with the operation process of this hospital, I had to "admire" the intelligence of this "doctor". My father's extra bed was leaning against the nurse's bar, and by the time I walked over, the "quick-eyed" "doctor" already knew that my father was not his patient. Therefore, in response to my request for help, the "doctor" calmly chose to ignore it directly.

This unpleasant encounter did not make me give up. For the sake of my father, I can give up everything. It was just a mere ignorance, but it wasn't enough to stop me from moving forward.

Immediately after that, I came and waited at the nurse's bar. Fortunately, soon, I saw another man in a white coat coming. Immediately clap the horse-like call "doctor".

It may be that I can't figure out who I am, so it can't be ruled out that I must not be a family member of his patient. Therefore, although the doctor's expression was cold, he still answered me and asked lightly, "What's the matter?" ”

"Hello, the hospital bed will be operated on tomorrow, can you help transfer it to the ward?" I had to be as respectful as I was to ask for help.

My deference had no effect, and the doctor was immediately uninterested as soon as he heard the bed number I had reported. "You go to Director So-and-so (my father's attending physician) and ask about it." His tone grew colder.

"But, Director So-and-so is not here!" I said a little anxiously.

After waiting for a long time, the doctor ignored me, and like the previous one, he finished his own business and left without hesitation.

I was a little skeptical that he had suddenly become deaf.

It is impossible to give up. I'm still waiting at the nurse's bar. The conversation kept repeating in my head.

"Could it be that something is wrong with my title?" "Well, it's possible. Didn't the doctor just call Director So-and-so, it seems that for the attending physician, he may prefer to be called the director. "I don't know if I'm right, but I've decided to change my name first. Perhaps, after changing the name, these "rich people" will have a completely different reaction. Although I was somewhat resentful in my heart, for the sake of my father, I had to try to restrain my emotions at this time.