After more than a month of turmoil, my life seems to be back on track. When I think about it, I think my life these days can be roughly divided into two stages.

The first stage was from the time I learned that my father had cancer until I signed off for surgery. Since the thunderbolt on a sunny day, the whole family has been gloomy. The first thing to be affected was my fragile heart. After the heartache and worry, it is extremely overwhelming. Due to various factors, we were hesitant about whether our father should be treated locally or in a big city. It was a very bleak time, because it was a time when our whole family was suffering psychologically.

The second stage was from the time I signed off on the surgery until my father was discharged from the hospital. For more than a month, our family was extremely busy. There are those who are specifically responsible for children, those who are specifically responsible for logistics, and those who are specifically responsible for guarding. Among them, the brother-in-law, sister and wife have to go to work while taking care of their respective affairs. It can be said that at that time, except for the two ignorant children, everyone else was busy and deeply experienced the taste of "hard work". Especially me, who is a new force. Many times, I took care of my father after surgery for dozens of hours without sleep. At that time, the greatest enjoyment for me was undoubtedly getting a good night's sleep.

Life is full of bitterness. In these two stages, we deeply experience the "bitter" taste of life. In the first stage, because of the extreme psychological suffering, our suffering comes from the heart. It was a kind of spiritual "suffering". In the second stage, because each has its own responsibilities and works hard, our suffering mainly comes from the body. That's a kind of "bitterness" on the **. In comparison, the spiritual "suffering" is more unforgettable and unbearable. Therefore, in the first stage, it can be said that the clouds of sorrow fill every corner of our whole family, including the heart. The clouds of sorrow urge people to suffer. We frowned, and everywhere we went, we had a bitter gourd face. The second stage of "suffering" is "toil". That's because of constant hard work. This kind of suffering can only fill the body of each person, but it cannot spread. Such suffering is not spread to others; Such suffering cannot penetrate into the heart; This kind of suffering can only stay on the surface of **.

There are two stages, each with its own "suffering". But spiritual "suffering" is deeply rooted in the bone marrow and cannot be driven away. It torments people to lose hope. Therefore, it is a nightmarish "suffering" like an appendage. Compared with this, I am more willing to endure the "suffering" on the **. Because the "bitterness" on ** is superficial and short-lived. As long as I stick to my own heart, even if it is a big "suffering" (**), I can completely survive; Even if I have more than 30 hours of sleepless guarding, as long as I am allowed to sleep for a short period of three or four hours, I can quickly dispel such "suffering" (**).

The first stage is the "suffering" of splitting the head and covering the face, and there is no hope. According to my father's condition, combined with my wife's cousin's professional analysis, I can only plan for the worst. At that time, I thought that my father's life was difficult to save. All my efforts were motivated by the idea of delaying my father's death to a certain extent. It was an effort without the slightest way out and no life. During that time, there was not even a single light in my life, and my whole land was completely enveloped in a terrible thick darkness. In the face of the boundless darkness, it seems that all struggles are in vain.

In the second stage, suffering is suffering, but it is an extremely clear "suffering". ** The "labor" on comes and goes quickly. As long as you rest in time, such "suffering" will soon disappear without a trace. It is not at all the same level as the invisible spiritual "suffering". This kind of "suffering" does not pose any threat to me at all. In addition, through our meticulous care and patient companionship, my father's health is getting better day by day. Looking at my father, who was gradually recovering, I couldn't help but recall what the attending physician said to me when he asked me to sign before the surgery, "There is a 90% success rate if you have surgery from the right side." In my subconscious, I thought that my father had been cured through surgery. Now, what my father lacks is to slowly recuperate and recover. Therefore, it is actually a kind of "suffering" full of hope, and it is the "suffering" before the sweetness. At that time, I always thought that after the extreme "suffering", I would inevitably taste the "sweetness" after my father's complete recovery. The "bitterness" in the second stage is only born to set off the "sweetness". The "bitterness" of the second stage is nothing more than a supporting role of "sweetness". In the beckoning of the "sweetness" of hope, the "bitterness" on the ** is no longer bitter. At the very least, I am full of hope, and I don't feel such "suffering" very much.

From the invisible spiritual "suffering" of the first stage to the tangible "suffering" of the second stage, the degree of "suffering" has actually been greatly reduced. "Suffering" is relative. Compared with the invisible "suffering" of the first stage, the "suffering" of the second stage is actually a kind of enjoyment for our whole family. Ever since my father had the hope of life, the dark "sorrow" that filled the whole family was being dispelled little by little. Although it has not yet reached the point where the sun is full, at least at that time we already felt that we had seen the dawn before dawn. At such a dawn, the whole family has regained the vitality of life that has been lost for a long time. At this moment, hope has become our absolute antidote to the taste of "bitterness". With hope, people can better endure all kinds of "suffering" in life; Only hope can make people reduce their perception of the "suffering" of life, and only then can they feel that "suffering" is no longer so "bitter".

After my father was discharged from the hospital, both the invisible spiritual "suffering" and the tangible ** "suffering" seemed to have disappeared all at once. Of course, the mother still continues to take care of the father's ** "labor". The feeling of complete relaxation of the spirit and ** must be in stark contrast to the previous "suffering". Although the taste of "sweetness" has not yet come, because there is more or less faint worry in our hearts, worrying that my father's illness will recur, but in the absence of the previous "bitter" taste, whether or not "sweet" comes, it will not affect our taste for the sense of "happiness" in life. It is a kind of "happiness" that breaks free from the abyss of pain and "suffering", and it is a kind of "happiness" that sees the dawn of hope. In stark contrast to the pain and suffering of more than a month, our sense of "happiness" has become very clear.

This book was first published from 17k, the first time to see the genuine content!