I put my hand on my abdomen as if I were touching a fairy-tale castle, careful not to alarm the elves who lived inside. It was a strange feeling that I had never felt before, a warmth with a sore ache, and I looked into the mirror on the wall and saw the woman inside with pilgrimage trepidation on her face and tears shining in her eyes.

I'm going to be a mom! I'm a mother!

How many times have I envied the women who staggered down the street in maternity clothes, no matter how beautiful or ugly, their faces had a kind of virgin serenity, I leaned forward in front of the mirror, put my hand on one side of my waist, puffed out my belly, and stared for a long time, until I saw that my heart was as warm as jade, as if transparent.

When I went to work the next day, I took a small opening from the corner of the quilt, tore out a ball of cotton from it and put it in my pocket, and when I arrived at work, I quietly took it out, divided it in half and stuffed it in my ears, and covered it with my short fluffy hair, just to block it.

When I went to pick up the materials, squad leader Wang pulled his face and looked at me, "What's the happy event?" ”

I was startled, thinking that I had seen through my thoughts, and quickly shook my head: "No, no." ”

"I'm not so happy!"

I held the material box and left in a hurry, and just a few steps away, I heard Squad Leader Wang say to the quality inspector on the side: "Let her go home to rest yesterday, I don't know what to do!" ”

Whatever you say, I don't care!

There will be bouts of nausea, and I quietly endure it and stop making noise.

Although the abdomen is still flat and firm, the little life in the abdomen still shows his existence in various ways, the first is that the taste has changed, and it is not oily, and the most unpopular boiled dishes in the canteen that lack oil and salt are not enough, I have to buy two servings, my child and I have the same blood, she understands my situation, and is a sensible child. Then there is drowsiness, usually I fall asleep at night before I finish watching an episode of a TV series, wake up, the TV is still on, get up and turn off and then go to sleep.

I bought a pair of corduroy maternity bib pants, dark green color, with a cartoon puppy embroidered on the chest, and every day when I came home from work, I changed into a beautiful way to walk around the house.

Occasionally, I would think of Su Jianjun and what would happen if he knew that he had a child? However, our breakup is so embarrassing and ugly, how can we face it again? We haven't been in touch since we came back.

After winter, a strong cold air invaded the north, the temperature plummeted, in the class was fine, back home, there was no heat in the house, so cold that I couldn't sit still, I found the warm water bag at home, boiled hot water and poured it, and put it in my arms and got into the quilt early. I don't want to spend money, I want to save my salary for the hospital when I live.

One night, I fell asleep, heard the phone ring, no one called me, I thought it was a mistake, Lai in the bed did not answer, rang for a while, I turned off the TV, turned over and continued to sleep, who knew that the phone rang again, I had to put on a coat and get up.

"Hey, who's that?"

“…… I. ”

My heart was pounding, it was Su Jianjun.

"It's me." He said again on the phone.

"Oh, what's wrong?"

"It's okay...... Do you have a cold? Su Jianjun asked.

"Nope."

"I heard you talk like a cold."

I just woke up, and I still spoke in a nasal voice, "Oh, I just fell asleep." ”

"Going to bed so early? It was just past eight o'clock. ”

"Nothing."

Silent.

"You, how's it going?"

I nodded and said, "Good." ”

"Oh, that's good, that, I want to ask, did you press the stove? It was said on TV that it would be cold for a few days. ”

I looked at the empty corner and said, "Pressed."

"Be careful when you go to bed and seal it up."

"Hmm."

“…… Okay, call me for something. ”

"Okay."

"Well, that's it."

"Hmmm......"

Just as I was about to hang up the phone, my brain heated, "Hey. ”

“…… Hey, I'm here. "Su Jianjun is still there.

"You...... Not traveling? ”

"No, at home."

"Oh."

"What's the matter?."

I hesitated with the earpiece, aggrieved, and my eyes blurred.

"If you have something, you can say it, I'll listen."

“……”

"Hello?"

"I want to ...... A trip to the past. ”

"Something?"

My throat choked and I couldn't speak, "Hmm! ”

"When, you have Sunday off, right?"

"Hmm."

"Then this Sunday morning, I'll pick you up."

"No, you don't."

"Okay, I'll wait for you at the station."

"Okay."

After hanging up the phone, I realized the cold in the house, and quickly got into bed and got into the bed. It was fine, Su Jianjun suddenly felt full of grievances as soon as he called, a pregnant woman who has been waiting for a child for many years should not be in such a room without heat, a growing life should be pampered, should not accompany me every day in the click-and-click punch workshop to listen to the noise, should not accompany me to eat boiled cabbage in the cafeteria.

The more I think about it, the more sad I become, and I unconsciously cry wet the pillow, I don't want the child in my belly to know that I'm unhappy, so I immediately shake my head, no longer think about the sad place, and put the quilt on my head to force myself to sleep.

It was really cold, and on Saturday, the weather forecast said that the lowest temperature of the day was minus 12 degrees, and the water was dripping into ice, so I found an old-fashioned military coat left by my dad and put it on.

I'm a mom and I don't want to be good-looking, just be safe.

I sat in the car and thought about it all the way, and I couldn't decide whether to tell Su Jianjun, but I didn't know how to see him, and I really wanted to come and see him.

When the car arrived at the station, I saw Su Jianjun wearing a down jacket and standing under the stop sign with his pockets copied through the window glass, his eyes searching, his gaze swept over my face, and he didn't recognize me.

I got out of the car and walked in front of him, and he suddenly saw that it was me and grinned, "I didn't recognize whose clothes I was wearing." ”

"My dad's."

"Oh, it's cold."

"It's cold."

"Let's ...... Walk? ”

We got on Su Jianjun's motorcycle, I was dressed thickly, a little bulky, and I sat in the back and grabbed the handlebars on both sides of the back seat, lest I make a mistake. In the past, I always hugged Su Jianjun's waist.

"Let's go to the store first, I bought some food this morning and put it there." Su Jianjun turned back to me before starting the car.

"Okay."

Aunt Liu is in the store, and the one outside has changed a little, the original low glass counter is gone, and three tall shelves have been added, and most of the shelves are pregnant women's nutrition products represented by Aunt Liu.

Aunt Liu greeted me very warmly, took my hand and chatted with me, and said that I was fat.

Su Jianjun went to the back room to get something and beckoned me to go, I was just about to go out, Aunt Liu suddenly remembered something and stopped me: "Xiao Zheng, you wait, there are some letters from you, I haven't seen you all this time, I'll get it for you." ”

Aunt Liu turned around and pulled out some envelopes from a stack of newspapers under the shelves, looked for them again, and said, "That's all." ”

Aunt Liu handed it to me and said, "I originally wanted to give it to Xiao Su, but I always forgot it, this brain." ”

Coming out of the store and returning to our small home, there is heating in the house, it is very warm, and the living room is quite tidy, it seems that Su Jianjun has cleaned it in advance.

Su Jianjun asked me to sit first, and he carried a bag of vegetables into the kitchen, and I saw a slaughtered raw chicken with two paws reaching out of the plastic bag.

I took off my coat, sat on the sofa, sat for a while, suddenly remembered a stack of letters from Aunt Liu to me, reached out and took out the pocket of the coat, all of them were phone bills sent by some telecommunications companies, there were Su Jianjun's mobile phones, and the phone in the store, I looked at them one by one, and suddenly saw a completely different envelope, the envelope was not printed, it was handwritten, the recipient was my name, there was no address below, I turned the envelope to look at the postmark, there were words in Chuzhou, Anhui.

I tore open the envelope, pulled out the letter inside, opened it and saw that it was a rental contract, the renter's column was Su Jianjun's name, the font was also his, the lessor Zhao Jun, and the address of the house was written on the east floor of the sixth floor of Unit 1, Building 25, Lianxinyuan. (To be continued.) )