One

Xue Yang posted on the Internet: "You also deserve to ask me to speak? You poor jingle! I'm a great deal! Or it's a house! But your dominatrix will kill you! Hahaha! …… I had an emotional experience with six women and it was worth it for someone who wrote! If you want to know more about my writers, please contact me, but you have to prepare the silver first! There is no way around the fact that the poor are generally looked down upon. The price is negotiable, and in principle, it will not exceed the market price: that is, ten yuan per word. If you meet a particularly good friend, you can get a 5% discount. But if you want to measure rice in your empty pocket, even if it's a father and son, fucking fuck off! … My story is sure to be wonderful! sentimental middle school classmates; The bewitching chicken nest sells *silver* women; Fengyang, who loves people but doesn't love money, picks up broken girls; a female netizen from Nanjing who has met thousands of miles away; a local young woman from Emei Mountain who can be contacted at any time; It's a netizen, an acquaintance, and a lover... Coarsely, there are about ten. Everyone's story is bizarre and tortuous, lingering and sympathetic. And the relationship has not been broken to this day! Like a glass of fine wine, it lasts for a long time! A good writer once talked to me about my story for a month and three days! I don't know how many cups of good tea were consumed during this period, and the high-grade Tieguanyin was roughly calculated to have three loads of water. Good smoke, the respect of the ninety-five, a total of seventy-two articles with food, good wine, ten boxes with food, all of which are hardcover Wuliang liquid! But he got the most generous reward, 109,600 yuan! There is a return on investment, this is a truth that everyone knows! But there are people who don't know that their poor pants are all picked up in the garbage heap, but they have the cheekiness to ask me to tell me more about the plot of the story so that he can make a fortune. Because I have always been merciful, I could not bear to refuse, so he relied on it more and more. I will pay him a note that does not cost money: endure hunger for a few days, take out thirty quick money, and go to the [***] East Gate pheasant nest to play for a night, and you will know some specific plots. But when he heard this, his head shook like a wave drum, and it turned out that he was afraid of his wife! Money is a trivial matter, once I ate too much wine, touched the female neighbor's room, and was starved by my wife for three days and knelt for three days! The blue and purple on his body were so fast that he almost choked his breath, and begged me to write a promise for him and pressed his handprint! That's when he was released. Originally, I was going to rescue him, but in fact, I had already saved him, just a few days ago, his wife lost all her gambling money, and she had no money to buy toilet paper that she had to use, and I handed him 20 yuan! Once, when his son broke the vase in the porcelain shop, I also solved it, and he took the opportunity to ask his son to worship me as an old man, so I had nothing to teach him to swim, train him, make him naughty, and make him grow. The key is that his wife is very stingy, which made me break the idea of saving him. This person named Hanako has been in a relationship with me for about fifteen years! I associate with a bodhisattva because of his heart, otherwise what light would I have touched? At most, it's a dry old man! Empty rejoicing. But he got a lot of money and goods from me, and I won't describe it in detail. It is said that they should be grateful to Dade, but once, my home computer was broken, and my daughter wanted to surf the Internet, so I took her to his house and wanted to use the second-hand computer he got by touching the lottery ticket, and he agreed with a smile, but his wife didn't agree, saying that she wanted to watch a movie, and she was watching it, and said that she couldn't fix it if it was broken. I threw my teacup on the ground and walked away! Some people talk to me all day long, wanting to get something out of my mouth, just because I am like Lu Xun, and sometimes reveal some romantic things that outsiders have never heard of. So the villains around me kept coming, and this one wanted me to say what the chapel said today, and that one wanted me to provide more specific details about what I had done in the chicken coop. Talking about it are all acquaintances and friends, it is inconvenient to categorically refuse thousands of miles away, and you can't blindly agree, so you are very embarrassed, you have to curse in your heart, you want to know what you said, you can't go to church! Do you have cancer in your legs? Do you want to know the specific plot and won't watch three films? Does your wife have uterine cancer? Scolding is scolding, and it is inconvenient to speak. I have a friend surnamed Lu, who looks talented, but he has a bad stomach! The family has been poor for three generations, and he is almost ready to eat! After eating the last meal and worrying about the next meal, but I just want to drag Sven, telling me what surname to hand over the secret, how embarrassed do you say, you don't experience it yourself, write about other people's actions, fake and unreasonable! The devil believes! How can I be blamed for this? Jiang Nanchun: "Silly melon, I sent you an article to see:" Xiao Er, come to a cup of loneliness." "I'm sorry! Guest, the store is only empty. "Have a nice time." Excuse me! Guest officer, it's sold out, or if I don't give you a cup, he agreed with a smile, but his wife didn't agree, saying that she wanted to watch a movie, and she was watching it vigorously, and said that she couldn't repair it if it was broken. I threw my teacup on the ground and walked away! Some people talk to me all day long, wanting to get something out of my mouth, just because I am like Lu Xun, and sometimes reveal some romantic things that outsiders have never heard of. So the villains around me kept coming, and this one wanted me to say what the chapel said today, and that one wanted me to provide more specific details about what I had done in the chicken coop. Talking about it are all acquaintances and friends, it is inconvenient to categorically refuse thousands of miles away, and you can't blindly agree, so you are very embarrassed, you have to curse in your heart, you want to know what you said, you can't go to church! Do you have cancer in your legs? Do you want to know the specific plot and won't watch three films? Does your wife have uterine cancer? Scolding is scolding, and it is inconvenient to speak. I have a friend surnamed Lu, who looks talented, but he has a bad stomach! The family has been poor for three generations, and he is almost ready to eat! After eating the last meal and worrying about the next meal, but I just want to drag Sven, telling me what surname to hand over the secret, how embarrassed do you say, you don't experience it yourself, write about other people's actions, fake and unreasonable! The devil believes! How can I be blamed for this? Jiang Nanchun: "Silly melon, I sent you an article to see:" Xiao Er, come to a cup of loneliness." "I'm sorry! Guest, the store is only empty. "Have a nice time." Excuse me! Guest, sold out, why don't you give you a cup of loneliness that you usually drink? ”。“ No, I've been drinking that stuff for five years, and I want to change the taste today. Is there no happiness in that? "Yes, it's just a parallel import." "Is that really there?" "Yesterday, there was a fake guy who bought it, and I gave him one free and one free. You also know that it is really worthless in the past few years, and there is no choice but to use it as a giveaway. "Forget it, that's true love." "Guest officer, don't embarrass me, you also know that there is nothing on the market at all, and it has been out of stock for many years, but I heard that there have been things on the black market, and the prices are very high." "Alas......... I haven't drunk it in years, and I've forgotten what it tastes like. "Guest officer, I advise you not to drink that thing, that play means good, but it is easy to leave people with sequelae." "How do you know? Have you ever drunk? "I'd rather drink Sanlu than talk to that thing, I'm just listening to other guests." Guest, if you can't do it, you can have a glass of ruthlessness, it's been selling well recently, and many guests like to drink it. "Huh! Is it? Didn't they like to drink wolf hearts and dog lungs a while ago? How did you change the flavor again. "There's been a lot of buzz in the market lately." "Oh! Forget it, I'm not good at that, do you have a lover? "Yes." "Here's one, give me more promises." "Now the promises are all false." "How do you sell that confidant?" "It's precious, one fate." "Here's one, oh! By the way, in love, pack me and take it home to feed the pigs. Xue Yang: "Hehe." "Drinking lonely?". No, I've been drinking that stuff for five years, and I want to change the taste today. Is there no happiness in that? "Yes, it's just a parallel import." "Is that really there?" "Yesterday, there was a fake guy who bought it, and I gave him one free and one free. You also know that it is really worthless in the past few years, and there is no choice but to use it as a giveaway. "Forget it, that's true love." "Guest officer, don't embarrass me, you also know that there is nothing on the market at all, and it has been out of stock for many years, but I heard that there have been things on the black market, and the prices are very high." "Alas......... I haven't drunk it in years, and I've forgotten what it tastes like. "Guest officer, I advise you not to drink that thing, that play means good, but it is easy to leave people with sequelae." "How do you know? Have you ever drunk? "I'd rather drink Sanlu than talk to that thing, I'm just listening to other guests." Guest, if you can't do it, you can have a glass of ruthlessness, it's been selling well recently, and many guests like to drink it. "Huh! Is it? Didn't they like to drink wolf hearts and dog lungs a while ago? How did you change the flavor again. "There's been a lot of buzz in the market lately." "Oh! Forget it, I'm not good at that, do you have a lover? "Yes." "Here's one, give me more promises." "Now the promises are all false." "How do you sell that confidant?" "It's precious, one fate." "Here's one, oh! By the way, in love, pack me and take it home to feed the pigs. Xue Yang: "Hehe." ”

Two

Jiang Nanchun: "What are you doing?" ”

Xue Yang: "Eat." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "Why is it late?" ”

Xue Yang: "Be a grave." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "Your home? ”

Xue Yang: "My grandmother." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "How to go to the tomb this season?" Your grandmother died, didn't she? ”

Xue Yang: "I died three days ago." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "Let's mourn and change!" Don't be too sad, people always die. ”

Xue Yang made a toothy expression.

Jiang Nanchun: "A Joke"

M: Marry me and be my wife.

F: When your wife has to do the laundry?

M: Yes.

F: Do you want to wash dishes and chopsticks and do housework?

M: Yes, but I'll help.

F: Then I don't want to, I want to be a junior, just take a bath. ”

Xue Yang: "This joke is not bad, it can attract me." ”

Three

One

Xue Yang: "Lily sent me a message and replied to her." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "What's the matter?" ”

Xue Yang: "Here's how I talked to her:

Xue Yang: 'Lily, are you having a good time?' ’

Lily: 'Tired! ’

Xue Yang: 'Change your career, or you will become an old woman!' ’

Lily: 'The old woman is the old woman, the horizontal and vertical are already in the boat, and I don't want to change it. ’

Xue Yang: 'Then your husband will divorce you immediately.' ’

Lily: 'Hahaha, that one is relaxed and free, uninhibited. ’

Xue Yang: 'If you are a woman without a husband and family, it is like a sow. ’

Lily: 'If a man doesn't have a wife and a family, he's a stupid donkey. ’

Xue Yang: 'That sow met a stupid donkey. ’”

Jiang Nanchun: "Then how did Lily answer you?" ”

Xue Yang: "It's gone." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "She just admitted defeat like this?" ”

Xue Yang: "Who told her that her eloquence is inferior to mine?" ”

Jiang Nanchun: "You can also be considered eloquent?" I think you're a scoundrel! ”

Xue Yang: "You scolded me? I won't tell you, I won't provide you with writing material. ”

Jiang Nanchun: "I'm just a mess of yours?" ”

Xue Yang: "There is a more interesting story, I want to hear it for you!" ”

Jiang Nanchun: "I see you got into the eyes of money." ”

Xue Yang: "I don't want you how much money you have, just a pack of cigarettes." ”

Jiang Nanchun: "Okay, you say! ”

Xue Yang: "It's my story with a hospital, and the following is a chat record between me and them:

Xue Yang: 'Hello, are you there?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Hello, this is [***] Ruijin Clinic, is there anything I need to consult?' ’

Xue Yang: 'Beauty, is it good for children to be circumcised in their teens? Sent a window jitter, "Can it still be long after cutting?" ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Hello, children can be circumcised regardless of their teenage!' Circumcision is good for growth! ’

Xue Yang: 'At the age of 16, how long can you grow?' Can it grow to 20 cm? ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'How long you grow is a personal factor, but circumcision can effectively prevent the presence of dirt in the foreskin that can cause inflammation in the male surname!' ’

Xue Yang: 'How long is it?' Is it okay to be 10-15 cm? ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'I said that everyone's growth is different, and how long this is mainly depends on the needs of your partner! ’

Xue Yang: 'How long do you think a Chinese woman needs to be?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'I said everyone is different!' ’

Xue Yang: 'I'm asking about the general situation, that's an individual. ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Generally, the length of the [***] female surname is 7cm, as long as it exceeds 7cm, it should be about the same, but this still depends mainly on the individual! ’

Xue Yang: 'Men and women in the south are petite, maybe it's okay to be smaller; The men and women of the north are tall, and they have to be bigger, so that there is pleasure, right? ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'You ask me how do I know!' Besides, we are a hospital here, not a research institute! If it's okay, you're busy! ’

Xue Yang: 'Are you a man or a woman?' ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Male!' ’

Xue Yang: 'That's good! Then there will be no scruples. ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Is there anything else I need to consult?' If it's okay, don't disturb my work! ’

Xue Yang: 'My godson wants to be circumcised! ’

RJ Hospital protects your: 'Yes! Then you let him come and cut it! Does he belong to the foreskin or phimosis? ’

Xue Yang: 'He said that his thing was small and short. ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'We have surgery in our hospital to make ** thicker! ’

Xue Yang: 'I want to make it grow after circumcision. ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'But it is recommended that you have your foreskin cut first, and when the circumcision is finished, the thickening operation at your house will be done. ’

Xue Yang: 'How much is the handling fee?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: '456 won for tradition, 788 won for Korean!' ’

Xue Yang: 'Can you get a little discount?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'This price I am talking about is the price after reimbursement!' The traditional original price is 560 yuan, and the Korean style is 980 yuan. ’

Xue Yang: 'Can thickening make thicker?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'It depends on what you are!' ’

Xue Yang: 'Can you get thicker at the age of 38?' ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: '36 years old is OK!' ’

Xue Yang: 'When it is soft, it is 5 cm long and 2 cm thick, is this small?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'This depends on what it looks like when you get an erection!' ’

Xue Yang: 'The erection can reach 8 centimeters and the thickness is 2.5 centimeters. ’

RJ Hospital protects your: 'That's pretty much it!' ’

Xue Yang: 'My girlfriend has always been too young, but not enjoyable, and the surname sex process only takes about 2 minutes. Do you think there's a way? ’

RJ Hospital protects you: 'Then you can come to our hospital for a check-up, your condition is not a small reason, it is your premature ejaculation!' ’

Xue Yang: 'Is there a way?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Yes, if you have premature ejaculation, you have to have surgery, and dorsal nerve lengthening surgery can effectively prolong the life of the surname by about 15 to 20 minutes! ’

Xue Yang: '[***] Is it easy to connect the warp cord connected to the foreskin if it is broken? Wearing a condom can be extended for about 10 minutes. ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Wearing a condom reduces sensitivity, so the time is extended!' ’

Xue Yang: 'The flower arrangement behind the back is a few minutes longer than the surname on the front. ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Are you coming here for surgery or not?' ’

Xue Yang: 'Where is the dorsal nerve? Well, I was going to come, so I consulted. ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Of course** the upper nerve, otherwise which nerve do you think it is? ’

Xue Yang: Oh. Is it easy to connect the cord connected to the foreskin when it is broken? Can I assess my disability? ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Yes!' ’

Xue Yang: 'Is it to pick up?' Or is it a disability? I've been down for several years, how much does it cost to be cured? 'RJ Hospital protects you**: 'This friend, I can't give you a definite answer when you say this, first of all, I don't know the severity of your situation, and secondly, I need to be tested to know. ’

Xue Yang: 'What is the success rate of the operation?' ’

RJ Hospital protects your**:'100 percent.' ’

Xue Yang: 'The rupture is in a state of healing, and there is no infection. Is there a connection between frequent urination? How much does it cost? 'If it can't be cured, can you be assessed as disabled?' ”

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'It's good if you don't get infected, but if you crack it, you may get infected, and you need to treat it early!' ’

Xue Yang: 'Is frequent urination related to this?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Generally, urinary frequency, urgency, painful urination, incomplete urination, dripping urine, etc. are closely related to the urethral opening or prostate! I used to specialize in andrology, and I can definitely treat your problems! ’

Xue Yang: 'I've checked, no problem. Without which of the above problems, the prostate is normal, that is, frequent urination, how much does it cost? ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'That could be a urinary tract infection!' How could I possibly know how much money was needed now, you didn't even check! ’

Xue Yang: 'Oh, that's the reason? ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Only after the examination can you know what treatment should be done!' The first thing I heard from you was that it might be a urinary tract infection, but it still needs to be tested. ’

Xue Yang: 'Have you ever had an operation on this before?' ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Of course!' Our hospital specializes in andrology, what kind of andrology problems have we not seen? ’

Xue Yang: 'How much does it cost?' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Didn't even check I don't know how much it cost!' ’

Xue Yang: 'If it can't be cured, can you be assessed as disabled?' 'Sent a window jitter.

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'It's all treatment anyway, it shouldn't cost much, and it can't be cured.' ’

Xue Yang: 'Then I'll come over in two days.' ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'OK! Then you can make an appointment with me! ’

Xue Yang: 'I've been there. ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Book online to skip your registration fee and skip the queue!' ’

Xue Yang: 'You don't need to register, I have your discount card.' ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: 'Tell me your name, age, address, contact details!' Is it a 28 yuan medical examination card? ’

Xue Yang: 'Okay, thank you for your answer. ’

RJ Hospital protects you**: '28 yuan medical examination card, just physical examination, not including treatment! ’

Xue Yang: 'Goodbye! ’

RJ Hospital protects your**: 'Okay, you're welcome!' ’”

Jiang Nanchun: "You still lie to me about cigarettes for this story?" ”

Xue Yang: "Do you want to repay the debt?" ”

Jiang Nanchun: "What do I have to rely on?" Is your story worth the price? ”

Xue Yang: "Count you ruthless!" Next time you want to get something from me. ”

Jiang Nanchun: "It's okay to give you a cigarette, but it can't be counted in this story." (To be continued.) )