Tian Dou and Liu Lao Liu... How could these two people appear in front of me together, or these two gods, they don't seem to share the same genius, right?

I stood in the doorway and said, "You two are going outside." "These two are going to do it, and the ball lightning can't fly like flies?

But neither of them had the heart to joke with me, nor did they care about my stubble, Liu Laoliu walked into the room with a solemn expression, picked up the cigarette case on the table, took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth, He Tiandou sat opposite him, and did not say a word.

I walked back and wanted to get a cigarette to smoke, Liu Lao Liu said solemnly: "It's the last one." ”

I was speechless, and I saw that he had one pinned to his ear...

I sat on the sofa bored, crossed Erlang's legs and said, "Tell me, how did you two get together?" ”

The two of them glanced at each other, and He Tiandou nodded slightly at Liu Laoliu, indicating that it was up to him first.

He Tiandou Zhengse said: "Our time is running out, the relationship between the two of us is not the most important, let's talk about me first, Xiaoqiang, do you know who I am?" ”

I said, "All I know is that you were a god." ”

He Tiandou smiled faintly: "Not only have I been, but my level is also very high, I am the only immortal who can be compared with the entire Heavenly Court, I am both connected with the power organs and relatively independent, how can I tell you..."

I reminded him: "Equivalent to a deputy to the National People's Congress? ”

He Tiandou smiled: "It's kind of that meaning." ”

I said, "What the hell is going on with you two?" ”

He Tiandou said: "Although the time is urgent, I still have to tell you the cause and effect..." "Before you knew us, did you believe that there were gods in this world?"

I simply said, "I don't believe it." ”

He Tiandou said: "It's right if you don't believe it, in a sense, there are indeed no immortals in this world, and there should be no immortals." ”

"What do you mean?"

"In your eyes, God seems to be on high enough to rule all earth, but in fact it is not, heaven and earth are like two countries, there will be a little necessary connection, but in essence they are still separate. The immortals are indeed powerful, and they do have the capital to do whatever they want in the world, but Heavenly Court and I will not allow such a thing to happen, including those immortals who want to do good deeds without leaving a name. No matter what the purpose, the fact that the gods descend to earth is a very taboo thing in itself. ”

I was dumbfounded, "Why is that?" ”

Liu Laoliu interjected: "Have you thought about it, if the gods can go down to earth casually, although some gods come with the purpose of upholding justice and hoeing the strong and helping the weak." But it is inevitable that there are those who blindly want to enjoy, in the world, they can turn their hands into clouds and cover their hands into rain, if they want to be emperors, it is simply too cheap, and this is still the real eternal emperor's business. Even if they are brutal and unreasonable, no one will be able to resist, hundreds of thousands of troops are just a matter of blowing a breath and coughing for an immortal with normal mana... Of course, most of our immortals are of high quality. Wouldn't do such a thing. But I can't sure..."

I shouted, "You have a hairy quality... You put a cigarette on your ears and give it to Lao Tzu first. ”

… I lit the last cigarette. Said to He Tiandou: "You go on, what do you mean?" ”

He Tiandou said: "Liu Lao Liu means: If you want the gods not to descend to the mortals. Consciousness alone is not enough, so the heavenly court has added a very powerful seal to the entrance to the world, and it is clearly stipulated that if there are special circumstances that require the lower realm, they must be reviewed by 69 government departments, 13 officials and even more people interviewed, and finally there is the most important one: the lower realm is not allowed to use mana in the future, of course, the immortals of the lower realm will not have much mana to use, we will take away all the mana from other places, and we will check it again. ”

I said impatiently, "What's the use of you Rory talking to me so much?" ”

"Saying so much is to make you understand that the heavenly realm and the human realm are two completely independent worlds, there should be absolutely no contact, no one can harass anyone, and immortals are not omnipotent." Speaking of this, He Tiandou suddenly became extremely solemn, and he said in an accentuated tone, "Because above the human realm and the heavenly realm, there is also a power called the Heavenly Dao!" ”

I hurriedly sat up straight and said, "Ah, I'm interested in this, and I finally don't have to listen to you brag about B anymore." ”

He Tiandou ignored me and continued: "The way of heaven is the same to us as immortals and humans, it seems to be nothing, its ability is above us, but it is relatively undisturbed with us. As long as there is an immortal in the lower realm, the heavenly way will also awaken, and once an immortal commits a crime of disobedience, the heavenly dao will be punished together with the entire heavenly realm! ”

I said excitedly: "Brother Dao is a good person!" So what are you and Liu Lao Liu running down to do? ”

He Tiandou smiled bitterly: "It's time to go back to me again, my specific identity is the immortal in charge of the axis of the human realm, and I am not affiliated with any department of the Heavenly Court." ”

I knew the point, and I hurriedly asked, "What is the Human Axis?" ”

"The axis of the human world is actually every move in the world, as big as the change of dynasties, as small as the joys, sorrows and sorrows of every common people, can be reflected on it, the immortal in charge of the axis of the human world is called the heavenly official, he cannot be appointed by others or elected by everyone, but according to some instructions of the way of heaven to find out from the gods..."

I said, "I see, if you compare the Heavenly Realm to the Human Realm, you are equivalent to the clergy of the Heavenly Court... Cow B, God

He Tiandou cried and laughed: "I don't actually have any real power as a god among gods, but my status is really high, so I said that I can completely compete with the entire heavenly court... That is, the people who are on a par with the government of the heavenly realm. ”

"Uh-huh, equivalent to the Pope and the King. So what do you do every day against the axis of the human world? "Thinking of this, I suddenly felt cold, according to He Tiandou said, can I also see it from that when I make love with Baozi? Oops, this thing is a must-have magic weapon for peeping ringworm!

Even if He Tiandou didn't use mind reading on me, he probably guessed the dirty thoughts in my heart, glared at me and said, "I don't look at it every day, just go and see it occasionally." The main purpose of this is to understand and supervise whether there are any immortals who have secretly descended to the mortal world, and before we touch the Heavenly Dao, we will send someone to catch him back like a smuggler, but this situation has never happened once under such strict measures, so I am a big idle official as a celestial official. ”

I asked, "What does the axis look like?" ”

"Like a ruler, there are scales on it, and each scale represents a dynasty and a piece of history."

"Well, and then what?"

He Tiandou let out a long sigh

"Then something happened." Liu Lao Liu also breathed a complicated sigh at this time.

I hurriedly made a cup of tea and grabbed a handful of melon seeds, and I loved to listen to the suffering history of others. Especially Liu Laoliu and He Tiandou.

He Tiandou said: "You must know that the axis of the human realm is placed there, just like a vertical test tube, and the long section at the top is the barbaric period of human beings. From the second emperor of Yan and Huang, there was a precise scale, and then once and then it came down, like Xia, Shang, Zhou, Qin, and Han, there was not only one but countless axes in the human world. I shouldn't have knocked this first one down..."

"Huh?" Although it seems that it is not my business at the moment, I also know the seriousness of this matter, and that human axis is the only thing in the heavenly realm that can be called a treasure! And this baby is also related to the lives of the gods!

"And what happened in the end?"

He Tiandou said: "The axis of the human world is not just a tool that reflects the human world, it is actually the epitome and origin of the human world. As soon as the axis of the human world fell, I was worried that there would be chaos and changes in the human world, but fortunately it didn't. History has not changed in the slightest. Humanity is at peace. ”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"But..."He Tiandou changed his words and brought up my tone again: "It's because of this incident." Heavenly Court decided to cancel my Heavenly Official qualification, and it was my unintentional mistake to knock down the Human Realm Axis. Moreover, there was no change in the human world, and I argued with reason, and in the end, they united and knocked me out of the human world by force. ”

I stabbed Liu Lao Liu: "You did it, right?" ”

He Tiandou said angrily: "That's it, I was beaten down, but my ability is not as small as they think, after all, in the heavenly realm I represent the way of heaven, and, because of the idle work, I often soak in the Nai He Bridge to chat with Meng Po, I didn't rub her soup to drink, I have long had resistance, and later I was restrained by them and forced to drink Meng Po soup to beat the world, I not only am still there, but also the memory has not disappeared, so there is He Tiandou." ”

I said, "Sure enough, Zhu Bajie should be very sympathetic to you." ”

"Suffering from this, I am bent on taking revenge on Heavenly Court, but my remaining mana at this time is no longer enough to attract the Heavenly Dao, and at this time, the Hades just happened to draw the wrong book of life and death, I immediately knew what to do, I want to make full use of this opportunity!"

I couldn't help but say, "But how do you use it?" The four heavenly kings you resurrected don't have any mana, and they can't put any pressure on the heavenly court except for going against me. ”

He Tiandou smiled mysteriously: "This is what you don't know, mana causing retribution in the earth and heaven can only be regarded as pediatrics, and what can cause the catastrophe is to change history and the general environment!" Once this kind of thing happens, those guys in Heavenly Court will inevitably be severely punished. ”

I didn't seem to understand, and hurriedly asked, "According to your expectations, has the general environment changed now?" ”

He Tiandou shook his head and said, "No." ”

I scolded: "No fart, wouldn't those mafias still find me without your woe?" ”

He Tiandou said: "That's not the big environment, let alone changing history, the axis of the human world fell, of course, the things of the world can't really not change at all, but it's just a few people more or less encounters, history is not out of shape, the heavenly court is wrong to blame me for this, in fact, I restore the four heavenly kings against you just to prove to them, the axis of the human world can't represent everything, I can't change the environment so exaggeratedly, how can something happen to the axis of the human world is just slightly touched?" ”

I said, "So what do you want to do now that you've done it, and do you expect them to ask you back again?" ”

He Tiandou suddenly said in frustration: "No, I didn't do it. ”

I wondered, "What? ”

Liu Lao Liu said suddenly: "Jing Ke is gone." ”

I was so shocked that I stood up and shouted, "What do you mean, what is missing, shouldn't he be reincarnated again?" ”

Liu Laoliu smiled bitterly: "Actually, I can't say that it's gone, strictly speaking, he should go back again." ”

"Where have you been?" I asked out loud.

"Back to the Qin Dynasty, back to before he assassinated Qin Shi Huang. He didn't reincarnate as a child, he became Jing Ke again! ”

For a while, I didn't know whether I was surprised or delighted, and I stayed for a long time before I said, "How can this be?" ”

He Tiandou said: "Listen to me tell you slowly, when Heavenly Court used force against me, the Heavenly Dao was actually touched, and then I went down to earth and went against Heavenly Court, which has triggered the Heavenly Dao cycle." It wasn't until Jing Ke died some time ago that the catastrophe finally broke out... Xiaoqiang, we have been damned! ”

I laughed: "Yes! But you still haven't explained to me where Bai Jingke went? ”

He Tiandou said: "When I say that the earth was punished by heaven, I don't mean being attacked by the mafia, but referring to Jing Ke's return to the Qin Dynasty. If it is a trivial matter for me to restore the Four Heavenly Kings to do these things with you, I really shouldn't attract the mafia again, do you still remember, Jing Ke didn't really leave when the day was supposed to go. He was attacked and killed by members of the mafia. It's nothing that your clients have been mistaken in the book of life and death, after all, it is still within the affordable range, and as the Heavenly Court has made amends, but they have lost their lives again because of the mafia I got it. This finally made the Heavenly Dao angry, and now that it was fully activated, Jing Ke did not pass through the Yin Si after his death. It was sent directly back to the Qin Dynasty..."

I raised my arms and shouted, "Long live Brother Dao!" ”

He Tiandou said with a bitter face: "Xiaoqiang, don't be too happy. Jing Ke is going back. But he doesn't remember anything about you now, and. We are all among the targets of punishment in the Heavenly Dao cycle. ”

I was stunned: "What's my business? ”

He Tiandou snorted and said, "You don't want to think about it, how can Jing Ke go back?" He can't get out of his own grave, and once he goes back, he's still the same assassin, so it's not just him, Qin Shi Huang, Xiang Yu, Liu Bang, and your clients are all back to their own dynasties. ”

I was stunned: "Are you saying that Kezi can't remember anything after he goes back, and he will continue to stab the fat man?" ”

He Tiandou smiled bitterly: "Yes, after Xiang Yu and Liu Bang went back, they also continued to start the dispute between Chu and Han in their own era. ”

When I heard this, I was so upset that I said, "This... Well, at least I'm more comfortable than I know they're dead. ”

He Tiandou finally said weakly: "It's not as simple as you think, they were sent back by the Heavenly Dao, everything will start again, and all the accidents that caused history before must have been zeroed, that is to say: this time Jing Ke assassinated the King of Qin, it may not be impossible to succeed; Liu Bang and Xiang Yu, maybe which one wins the world... And once Jing Ke succeeded in assassinating Qin... spanning from 2007 to the Qin Dynasty, that is no longer a ring of change

History, which was caused by my initial dereliction of duty, was brought to that moment by the knot of the human world..."

I nervously asked, "What will happen to us?" ”

"We will be obliterated by the Heavenly Dao, from God to Man, from Heaven to Man, and humanity will randomly start over for a BC to 2007 BC."

I went from head to toe and still asked, "Why BC to 2007?" ”

"Because I happened to knock down all the scales on that human axis, and because... There you are! ”

"Me?"

"It's the earth, after I was beaten down to the realm, according to the instructions of the Heavenly Dao, a new Heavenly Official has been produced, that is you, the god in charge of the axis of the human realm, Xiaoqiang, on the first day of the new Heavenly Official's appointment, the Heavenly Dao will return to peace."

I smiled and said: "It sounds strange and majestic, but I know it's not good, now let's continue to talk about our affairs, according to what you said, Kezi will go back and stab Qin again, eighty percent can't succeed, how about we leave him alone?" ”

He Tiandou said with a calm face: "Then what if it succeeds?" Don't forget how many accidents there are in history, at the time of the assassination of Qin, what if Qin Wuyang became powerful? What if Zhao Gao, who reminded Qin Shi Huang to draw his sword, suddenly forgot what he should have said for a while? The slightest mistake can lead to a total loss. ”

I spread my hands and said, "What then?" ”

He Tiandou gritted his teeth and said, "You go and stop him!" ”

I smiled and said, "Is there a shuttle bus to the Qin Dynasty?" ”

Liu Lao Liu suddenly said leisurely: "You can drive by yourself, have you forgotten your salary?" ”

Me: "..."

Liu Lao Liu said: "This matter is no longer a matter of one person or two people or simply the human realm and the heavenly realm, but the affairs of all of us, as early as when the Heavenly Dao was first provoked, we thought about getting back together with Lao He, now it's okay, we both have no choice, if we don't cooperate, we all have to finish playing, so he will tell you some precautions for the heavenly officials, and our heavenly court will try our best to help you complete the task, your car is already extremely strong." I just need to add one more acceleration to it, and you can go back to the Qin Dynasty." ”

I laughed and said, "Relativity? Faster than the speed of light? ”

"Almost, what do you care about it, anyway, I give you something that can bring you to the Qin Dynasty, but you have to open it yourself, and Lao He will tell you the specific operation method in a while."

He Tiandou nodded and said: "These are small things that can be talked about later, you have to understand first, now only you can save this world, you have been registered as a god but have no divine power, and it is the most suitable person for you to do this work." Also, you have to understand what you should do every time, this time it is to stop Jing Ke from assassinating Qin, and next time it may be to prevent Xiang Yu from killing Liu Bang at the Hongmen Banquet. Don't forget that your customers are back to where they were. ”

I'm like a monkey listening to heaven, and I don't care about myself, because I really don't believe that I have to do all these things...

"In the end, Xiaoqiang, you should still thank me. If I hadn't knocked the Human Axis down, you'd have had a headache. ”

"What do you mean?"

"It's very simple, the axis of the human world before the fall is vertical, which means that everyone and each dynasty are cause and effect. Take the matter you are going to do, if you stop Jing Ke from assassinating Qin and use other methods to make Zhao Gao stand out, it will not work. Zhao Gao must not be reused. There won't be so many things going on in the future. The Qin Dynasty may not have only been a few decades in the world.

"But now it's okay, after the axis of the human world has fallen. All dynasties are parallel, and the absence of causality means that you just need to prevent major historical events from changing, and you can ignore the connections and people involved in these events. ”

I listened to him get more and more serious, and I couldn't help jumping up and said, "It's not true, boss, just take Kezi as an example, how can I stop him?" Do you think I'm his opponent? ”

He Tiandou smiled slightly: "Will he bear to attack you?" ”

“… Didn't you say he didn't remember me? ”

"He really doesn't remember you, but have you forgotten, he has already died again before returning to the Qin Dynasty, Jing Ke's previous life was still Jing Ke, although he didn't report to the underworld, but the bowl of Meng Po soup has been drunk by him unconsciously, and the others are the same, that is... They have spent their earthly lives with you, and the final conclusion is: as long as they eat my blue leaves, they will think of you, their dearest brother! ”

This time, my heart was completely moved, go back to the Qin Dynasty to find the second fool and the fat man, and ask them not to kill each other, others may not be able to do it, but I still seem to be a little sure.

It's just that...

"Do you still have a leaf?"

He Tiandou took out a blue leaf from his pocket: "Only this last one is left." ”

I said with a gloomy face: "Don't help Zhang Xiaohua with gimmicks anymore, who will you let me eat for fools and fat people?" ”

He Tiandou hurriedly smiled and said: "This is the case this time, we will have it in the future, and we will not worry about thousands of them." ”

"Don't lie to me!"

My predecessor didn't care about my attitude at all, put his arm around my shoulders and pushed me to the window, and suddenly pointed to the lawn in front of He Tiandou's door: "You look carefully under every grass." ”

I looked intently, and I saw that under every grass on that lawn, there seemed to be a blue shoot, really thousands, it was a temptation grass...

…

"Do I really have to go?"

"Oh, the heavenly official also let you be it, Lan Wei also gave it to you, and the severity of the heavenly cycle was also told to you, so it can be seen that this is God's arrangement."

"You two old gods, don't shake Lao Tzu..."

"Damn, God's arrangement is not enough for your stinky fart?"

…